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Favorite Farscape Quotes

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    Favorite Farscape Quotes

    I love these type of threads, they have always done well for shows like Stargate, BSG and Star Trek. But I think a favorite Farscape quote thread can blow them all out of the water. The show is just so rich with funny and crazy lines. If you know the episode the quote is from let us know, otherwise it's no big deal. I will start it out with a few of my favorites off the top of head.

    Crichton: 'Well, this space man is going home. Lock up the women and hide the fried chicken!' - from the episode Revenging Angel

    Crichton: 'Welcome to the Federation Starship SS Buttcrack'

    Zhaan: 'Soft, yes. Weak, no.' - from the episode Throne for a Loss

    D'Argo: 'No offense, but I say we take this tree-hugger, shove him out the access port, and get the hezmana out of here.' - from the episode Bone To Be Wild

    Crichton: 'I'm Butch. This is Sundance.' - from the episode Til the Blood Runs Clear

    Rygel: 'Oh yes, I'm back too. Thanks for asking. Back to being me. Back to being ignored.'
    the Fifth Race

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    Farscape is the perfect show for funny and twisted quotes!.

    Crichton: 'If he masters wormhole technology, what will he use it for?'
    Scorpius: 'Faster delivery of pizzas.'

    Chinana: 'Is everybody aboard this ship kinkoid?' - A Bug's Life

    D'Argo: 'One Mippippippi... Two Mippippippi...' - Through the Looking Glass

    Crichton: 'They have worlds out there, people that you wouldn't believe. But they do not have chocolate.' - A Human Reaction

    Rygel: You're worse than me, I like that. - The Locket


      Ahh there are so many great quotes...

      Crichton: Aeryn, if Scorpius gets me...
      Aeryn: I know, shoot you.
      Crichton: No. No, no. Shoot him.
      --Liars, Guns, and Money Part One

      Crichton: Obfuscation. How the hell does that translate?
      --Scratch 'N Sniff

      (Crichton and D'Argo are play Rock, Paper, Scissors)
      Crichton: Again?
      D'Argo: Yeah.
      Crichton: One, two, three.
      (John does paper, D'Argo does rock)
      D'Argo: Again, I win.
      Crichton: No, I win. Paper wraps rocks.
      D'Argo: No, paper cannot possibly beat rock.
      Crichton: It does. Paper beats rock.
      D'Argo: Rock rips through paper.
      Crichton: D'Argo, that's not how it works. Paper beats rocks.
      D'Argo: That's unrealistic.
      Crichton: Well, it's the rules. And it's not supposed to be realistic, it's supposed to be entertaining.
      D'Argo: My coma was more entertaining.
      --Mind the Baby

      Harvey: Kill her! Then we'll have pizza! And margherita shooters! Go on John, do it. Do it!
      Crichton: No one has margheritas with pizza!
      --Crackers Don't Matter
      [email protected]|Babylon 5 Canon Guide

      Delenn: This is Ambassador Delenn of the Minbari. Babylon 5 is under our protection. Withdraw,...or be destroyed.
      Earth Captain: Negative. We have authority here. Do not force us to engage your ship.
      Delenn: Why not? Only one human captain has ever survived battle with a Minbari fleet. He is behind me. You are in front of me. If you value your lives, be somewhere else.
      --Babylon 5 - "Severed Dreams"


        Bobby: "So, all in all, you could live here?"
        Rygel: "As long as I get to keep my slaves."
        Bobby: "They're servants. They get paid. You don't own them."
        Rygel: "What?? You're kidding! They come running when I call."
        Bobby: "The government wants you to feel at home."
        Rygel: "Then GIVE ME SLAVES."
        Bobby: "Okay, besides eating what's your favorite thing to do?"
        Rygel: "Huh, gamble. You can do it over the phone. You can call females too... 1-900 SLUT GIRL."
        Last edited by The Sweet Guy; August 28, 2007, 04:33 PM.


          Ooh - Farscape has a zillion good quotes

          Crichton: Cross my heart, slap me dead, stick a lobster on my head

          Crichton: Red Rover, Red Rover send Cujo on over

          Crichton: You're very wise.
          Pilot : I don't get out much, so I read.

          To see the complete animated picture timeline of the comet landing -

          From the wonderful XKCD site


            Originally posted by Thunderstorm View Post
            Crichton: Cross my heart, slap me dead, stick a lobster on my head
            ^^ I almost lost my lunch on this one ... which episode is this from?

            Originally posted by Thunderstorm View Post
            Crichton: Red Rover, Red Rover send Cujo on over

            hehehe, my favorite episode ... Crichton Kicks ... one of the few I've seen from S4 ... and so full of quotable quotes ...

            "baaaa ... baaaa ... "

            "get chu selm of this" (I like to use the terms my buddies used in high school, this was their favorite saying)

            "Grade 'A' American Prime Beef"

            And he speaks KLINGON!!!!

            And Rygel needs a bigger mit and needs to learn how to catch ...


              Clockwork Nebari, Season 2

              John is trying to get Rygel to help rid Moya of the Nebari and refers to them being used as puppets. To which Rygel (indignantly) responds ...

              I AM NOBODY'S PUPPET!!! I'm probably the only one who found that humorous, but it just struck me as a bit funny.

              Also from Clockwork Nebari ...

              John: People like us do not always get what we want

              One of my favorite John/Chiana moments - what's said and what isn't said ...

              Die Me, Dichotomy ...

              Aeryn: I hope you meant what you said in the neural cluster ... I did.

              [Edit: so I have a lousy memory, but I just re-watched the episode last night for about the 30th time and realized I go the quote wrong!!]
              Last edited by MFA; August 26, 2007, 07:05 PM. Reason: edit quote from DMD


                Have to say that I love this exchange from "Fractures":

                JOHN: (holding out the shirts in either hand ) D'Argo! Green or black?
                D'ARGO: Well, the black of course! I mean, far be it from me to say, but I've always thought that the cut of that green shirt doesn't suit the shape of your body.

                That always sounds so funny coming from D'Argo. I love it!!


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                  "Don't move! Or I'll fill you full of...little yellow bolts of light!"
                  --Crichton; "Premiere"

                  "Just me and you."
                  "Actually, it is just me. And you."
                  --Crichton & D'Argo; "Exodus From Genesis"

                  "But you said you want to go back to this Earth. A place filled with pain and suffering."
                  "Well, you guys don't have chocolate."
                  --Aeryn & Crichton; "They've Got a Secret"

                  "You got listen for something weird, strange noise."
                  "Weird and strange... Does my stomach count?"
                  "I've got to get out of here before I end up like you."
                  "What? Handsome with great sexual prowess?"
                  --Crichton & Rygel; "Through the Looking Glass"
                  "Dragons can't change who they are, but who would want them to? Dragons are powerful, amazing creatures."--Hiccup; Dragons: Riders of Berk

                  My Books:
                  Draconia: Forging Trust, Draconia: Fractured Dream, Draconia: Rehatching


                    Originally posted by MFA View Post
                    ^^ I almost lost my lunch on this one ... which episode is this from?
                    S3 Thanks for Sharing

                    He doesn't say it at the time of this picture. But it prompts his comment for later. Attached is an audio file of the quote

                    A couple S4 quotes to wet your appetities
                    We're So Screwed trilogy had loads of good ones

                    Scorpius: I do not loose!
                    Crichton: Be happy to give you lessons

                    Crichton: Now, what am I offered for all the powers of the universe

                    Stef: I love that quote about the shirts. So unlike what you would think D'argo would be like, but it works for him.
                    Attached Files

                    To see the complete animated picture timeline of the comet landing -

                    From the wonderful XKCD site


                      ^^ figured it had to be S3, at least it's not S4 so I don't have so long to wait The picture looks comical though, BB comes up with some comical expressions at times ... I guess you could say he has an expressive face.

                      I like the We're So Screwed quotes ... I've seen two shows from that trilogy, but don't remember much about them. I do remember John's speech to the Scarrens, Grayza and whoever else was there. (I think that's the right episode) about being an American.

                      I've tried to avoid the obvious quote, but can't resist, it keeps popping into my head, along with that entire episode which I just about know by heart ...

                      Humans are Superior !!


                        Farscape is very rich with funny lines and great quotes. You can watch one episode and get a handful of quotable stuff.

                        I got a few off the top of my head......

                        Scorpius: "You think I want wormholes to betray Peacekeepers, and to conquer the universe myself? I don't want power. I want revenge." - Peace Keeper Wars

                        Jool: "You know, we don't have weapons on our planet; we don't have violence; we don't have war!"
                        Chiana: (Smacking Jool hard)
                        Jool: "What the frell?!" (and smacks Chiana back, equally hard)
                        Chiana: (landing another blow): "See! Violence. You'll get the hang of it." - Eat Me

                        John: "That scares the hell out of me... From the first moment I laid eyes on you, I could never see the end."
                        Aeryn: "What scares me is I always could" - Bad Timing 4x22

                        Crichton: (to the baby) "Your mother was right."
                        Aeryn: "Your mother's always right."
                        Crichton: "You'll get used to that." - Peace Keeper Wars

                        D'Argo: "My friend, one thing you have to learn. There is always time for beer." - Won't Get Fooled Again
                        The USS Defiant Rocks!


                          D Logan: "Quit it with the cards!"
                          Last edited by The Sweet Guy; August 28, 2007, 04:34 PM.


                            Crichton: "I have great eyes, better than 20/20 and they are blue." - Crackers don't matters.

                            Crais: "Talyn, Starburst!" - Into the lion's den, part 2

                            Aeryn: "You and your timing." - Bad timing

                            Rygel : "Good-bye, you big, beautiful, blue *****." - Self-inflicted wounds, part 2

                            Zhaan : "I can wear a Freudian slip." - Won't get fooled again
                            "I was hoping for another day. Looks like we just got a whole lot more than that. Let's not waste it."

                            "Never underestimate your audience. They're generally sensitive, intelligent people who respond positively to quality entertainment."

                            "Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today, but the core of science fiction, its essence, has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all."


                              It's been ages since I've watched any eps on DVD (own all of the non-starburst sets) so I don't remember the eps title on most of these.

                              Aeryn - Merry Frellin' Christmas.

                              Aeryn - We are all going to die.

                              Aeryn - Shooting makes me feel better. - PK Wars

                              *wonders if anyone notices a pattern here...

                              There are others, but as I said, it's been ages since I've watched any of my DVDs so those are the ones that came to mind when I saw this thread.
                              I prefer to be called Sunny, Sun or SK. Thanks.