Depressions

[RepliCartertje]

Okay this is actually just a thread to talk about it. Cause lets face it depressions is still a thing hardly anyone talks about. They are ashamed or just prefer people not knowing about it. Why is it that around depression there is still such a taboo (sp?) around it.
I mean a lot of people get depressed in their life. Granted some more than others and others will never get depressed. But it is something that in this era is really happening a lot. Sadly enough
But when it comes to talking openly about it... you have nothing

I mean I just overcome a rather big depression and I have openly talked about it to my friend, family and also on the forum and mostly in the latter then you get a lot of greens or pm's saying that they know what you going through cause they are also depressed or feeling down. But why is it that people are afraid to admit this in public? I always wondered why do people try to hide it.
I mean everyone knows that not everyone is always happy. People sometimes just feel down or depressed.

And granted there is a big difference between both, they are connected. Why do people not talk about, why are they ashamed about it?

Yes, I was depressed and yes I will probably be more depressed in the future cause apparently according to the doc, I am just one of those persons who sometimes get very cheery and the other moment very down...and when I am the latter I can get depressed rather fast. But I am not ashamed of it. It is just who I am. And by being open to everyone, they might actually understand my behaviour.

I have no idea what I wanna achieve with this thread to be honest, I guess I just want a place where you can talk about being depressed, or living with someone that is depressed (cause that isn't easy at all either)... Just a safe heaven I guess...

[Callista]

I think all mental disorders or illnesses are stigmatized and misunderstood.

Part of it is because other people can't actually "see" the damage like they might with lots of illnesses so they don't accept it as an actual disease. Another part is that people think the person with the difficulties is somehow to blame for their own problems...that they are somehow weak and should just "snap out of it" and quit causing their loved ones so much trouble.

My husband has an aunt who I believe is clinically and chronically depressed and they all simply focus on her husband and how hard it is for him to live with her. While that's true and it is hard for him, no one seems to have any sympathy for her at all. The aunt is completely isolated because no one ever talks to her.

Then you've got the whole "discomfort" factor. That's actually kind of similar to how people act around people who are sick with something like cancer. People just don't know how to act around the person who is suffering so they either avoid the subject or avoid the person altogether. They may care about the person, but their own insecurities get the better of them.

Add to that the occasional completely uninformed celebrity or quack who claims that the problem either doesn't exist or that it can be cured with magnets or some other dubious claims and you've got a lot of factors piling up against the person with the troubles.

That being said, mental illness is not the only thing that is "hidden" and not talked about. A long time ago I had a miscarriage. Before that no one I knew had had one. As soon as I told people, I found out that actually about half of the women who were old enough to have tried to get pregnant at one point or another had actually had miscarriages. It's just something no one talks about because I guess they figure no one wants to hear about it. The problem with that attitude is that people start to associate shame and embarrassment with the illness.

It really is sad, because the very people who need probably the most support are the ones who are ostracized.

I admire you for posting this, RepliCartertje. I think only through talking about things like this and sharing experiences with others will we break through all the misconceptions and actually be able to help one another cope.

[RepliCartertje]

True, you can't actually see the damage but for sure there is damage. Sadly enough And i guess the fact that depressions are for every person different doesn't help either. I mean for a lot of people a depression is the same as feeling down but it doesn't even come close to it to be honest.

I agree that people don't know how to react towards someone who is depressed because they are afraid to make things worse by saying stuff. while you really need people to be there for you, no matter what. You need people to support you, to be there for you, to show (say or whatever) you that it will get better even though you think your world is coming to an end.

I was very lucky to have an amazing girlfriend and a mom who supported me all the way, and showed me that I'll be okay. Of course i know I wouldn't have been able to overcome everything without my doc. And by the things he figured out about my brain. I just know in times like these you really need support. And while mostly you prefer being on your own, and just want to dissepear, knowing that someone supports you does help you. As small as it is.

I think our sociaty has a lot of things that aren't talked about. Even though a lot of people might have had it, or have it. But they are just afraid of the reactions of others. And sometimes you better not think about that. You better be open about it, and you will see you aren't alone. I mean miscarriage is one of the best examples of it. I mean a lot of women go through a miscarriage but still no one talks about it. Maybe this has to with the fact that a pregnancy should be a joyfull event and well a miscarriage isn't. Not at all. So people prefer not knowing.

I think talking is always a good thing, it always can beneffit someone... as long as you are polite.

[mad_gater]

True, you can't actually see the damage but for sure there is damage. Sadly enough And i guess the fact that depressions are for every person different doesn't help either. I mean for a lot of people a depression is the same as feeling down but it doesn't even come close to it to be honest.

I agree that people don't know how to react towards someone who is depressed because they are afraid to make things worse by saying stuff. while you really need people to be there for you, no matter what. You need people to support you, to be there for you, to show (say or whatever) you that it will get better even though you think your world is coming to an end.

I was very lucky to have an amazing girlfriend and a mom who supported me all the way, and showed me that I'll be okay. Of course i know I wouldn't have been able to overcome everything without my doc. And by the things he figured out about my brain. I just know in times like these you really need support. And while mostly you prefer being on your own, and just want to dissepear, knowing that someone supports you does help you. As small as it is.

I think our sociaty has a lot of things that aren't talked about. Even though a lot of people might have had it, or have it. But they are just afraid of the reactions of others. And sometimes you better not think about that. You better be open about it, and you will see you aren't alone. I mean miscarriage is one of the best examples of it. I mean a lot of women go through a miscarriage but still no one talks about it. Maybe this has to with the fact that a pregnancy should be a joyfull event and well a miscarriage isn't. Not at all. So people prefer not knowing.

I think talking is always a good thing, it always can beneffit someone... as long as you are polite.

(((((((((all currently despressed thread members)))))))))))

I felt like I was close to clinical depression when working at the call center....they treated everyone so horribly there....

My energy levels were so low that not even the weekend would allow me to fully recuperate frm the work week.....my heart was so heavy with hatred for that job that sometimes I almost felt like breaking down into tears.....and I'm a guy so that's hard to do

But I think most of the problem today is that depression isn't necessarily stigmatized....it's just how do you diagnose between regular depression that comes and goes from clinical depression which is a more permanent state of being...but yeah...talking helps...and going to your doctor too to see if it is clinical or not

[Bekki]

Thank you for starting this thread, Eve

I find the best way to stop feeling depressed is to talk about it. And talking about it in a place like this is even better, as there's still some distance

I never wanted to talk about my depression with my friends and family - they didn't understand how 'a person that had so much going for them could possibly be unhappy'. That just made me feel guilty.

But then I discovered that a good friend of mine was going through the same sort of thing. That made it much easier to talk about.

And sometimes, knowing you're not alone can do the world of good

[Amann]

I feel for those who are depressed.

I myself felt that way many times. I will post my story here.

Well, it all started some years ago, (about 9 or 10, I am 19 now). I was in 5h grade in elementary school. I was getting into fights because of bullies. I am not a large person, I was the smallest in my grade and I was picked on quite a bit. So at any rate, this continued on into middle school. I was always picked on. I literally had 0 friends....and I tried too, but no one wanted to even know me. It kept on through high school. I learned how to fight, but every time i defended myself, I got their friends on me until i got about half the school on me. I've been suspended 20+ times for fighting but most of the time I was defending myself. (0 tolerance policy). I had very few friends and I tried to fit in, but I was never really given that opportunity. I guess it led to me being withdrawn

Another thing that has not been pleasant is girls ive been with. Ive had 4 GF's in my life. My first one was in middle school, it lasted a month and then nothing. She left me for someone else. I got with another girl in 10th grade. I cared for her, but it turns out 2 weeks into it, she was only using me to get back at an ex of hers by going out with "the loner". So before she left me, she insulted me to my face and then ditched me. I hated it all. I turned toward an attempt at suicide, but I could not do it. Then I found a girl a year and a half ago. It was on here acually. But she just used me to play with me feeling sorry for her . She left me in the lurch. In my pain, I drank myself comatose almsot every night for 3 weeks. Then I found out that another unnamed girl on here and who ive chatted with on MSN for months, had taken a liking toward me. Her name was susie. I am sure you know her. I was happy enough to stop drinking anyway and got with her. We were happy here for a whole year, I had made plans to go see her, but 2 months ago, she told me we were too young and too far away to see each other. I found out that she had fallen in love with someone else that was close to her in RL and she broke up with me that way. I have had 4 GF's and lost 4 to other people. I do not blame anyone but myself for it however. Girls will find people who can offer them something or the best person that women can find. I have nothing to offer anyone. It has left me rather bitter. I haven't had much happiness in my life up to this point. Parents were never that supportive of me to be honest (they never supported me and susie) For months, I have worked a crappy job trying to save enough money to go see susie. Coming home almost every night tired and dirty, but satisfied that I would get to see her after I was able to get a break from college. The thought of seeing her was the thought that kept me going. And it was all for nothing . That is pretty much the story. I will expect some people to think bad of me, but I dont' care anymore. This is my outlet and here it is.

-Amann-

[L-JADE]

Thank you for starting this thread Eve you're a brave girl!

It was hard for me to admit that I have depression, it's still hard eventough I'm better now.
It helps that I got help quickly enough & I'm getting better, some days I feel like my old self again, and sometimes just out of the blue I feel the 'tentacles' of sadness that feel could dragged me down to the abyss.... yeah, it sounds overly dramatic, but last year that's what I feel. And it scares the crap outta me

Living by myself sometimes made it worse, but at the same time also helped since I don't feel like I have to explain anything to anybody. I'm naturally the 'listener' with my friends, so it's hard for me to open up and tell my friends/family, the only person that I have to talk about my problems with was my shrink.

It started accidentally (I think), my doctor change the dose of my thyroid medicine, somehow that's snowballed into prolonged sadness/feeling down, at the time it was winter, I thought I just got that 'winter blues' that some Asian have during winter time, but when it prolonged into March and April, I realised it's something else, I talked to my doctor, he said that sometimes that happened and I could search help with shrinks. I did, and turned out I have mild depression and need help to 'activate' my Serotonin.

Once I know that I have depression, I started to read more about it and turn out a lot more of people DOES have depression, mild or otherwise, and some of my friends-list in LJ also have depression, so it does help to talk, to read and to listen. We are not alone in this, and once we know that we realised that we are not lonely in this 'affliction' .

[Chocolatequeen]

Thanks for starting this Eve.

I've struggled with depression since my junior year of college. There were a lot of changes in my life then, and it just snowballed into this feeling of lethargy and apathy. At the same time, my blood sugar was spiralling out of control--down out of control, not high. Lethargy is a side effect of low blood sugar too. The depression and the hypoglycemia made that one of the worst school years I've ever had, beaten only by the following year. I don't really want to go into it, but about a year after I graduated, I told my doctor I was feeling depressed. With some of the other things I told her, she decided to prescribe Wellbutrin to me. It was really a night and day change, at least for me.

This thread is especially timely for me, because my job hasn't been great lately and I've been slipping back into depression. The thing is... my family knows I struggle with depression, and yet when I tell them I'm feeling depressed, they just hear it as, "I'm feeling down," or "I'm sad." Like it's something I'm going to easily snap out of. They don't hear it as me asking them for help, which it is.

[jesserella]

its so9 brave for all of you to share like this, and Amann, noone here will judge you, in fact I feel i'm very proud of you for sharing things i never knew about you *hugs*

I suffer from anxiety, it's similar to depression and can sometimes lead me to going in and out of depression, the problem I have is that my doctor refused to prescribe me something, because of the stigma he believed it would give me in regards to getting work in life, though i for one would rather hire someone who had depression and is now dealing with it. I also have the trouble that few of my friends understand me, they were brought up hard and cold, not allowed to share their feelings and thus become uncomfortable with emotional people, part of that was because they both went to military colledge.

the funny thing is, going through this has made me realise what i want to do, i've decided to become a councillor, i want people like me to have someone to turn to, its hard feeling alone, especially when your dealing with depression. I think the fact that i understand it allows me to help, after i realised this i've been able to analize my own personality and give myself advice, not that i've allways taken it lol, but the main thing is not relieing on others for your happyness, you do anything you have to do to realise how wonderful you are, confidence, even faced eventually can have a positive effect on your mood.

and one of my rules for myself, if you don't respect the person, don't respect their opinion of you, its worthless, only care for what those who love you think.

this is a great thread

[sueKay]

(((hugs for everyone)))

I've suffered with depression for as long as I can honestly remember...It probably started when my uncle died when I was 9...it was at it's worst when I was in my first couple of years of high school. My life then consisted of going to school, being bullied, going home, going to bed and getting up the next day. I would literally spend all of my free time sleeping...I just didn't want to do anything.

The depression eased when I started sticking up for myself, and got involved with clubs and organisations. I'd yell back at the bullies. I started doing sports, started acting, started going hillwalking and finally made some friends.

Then my step-grandad died, and a year later my gran died. A year after that, my mum almost died of a heart attack and was bedridden for months. I was lost when my mum was ill, and looking back...there are months of my life missing...I've blacked them out. I have only a few vague memories of when I was 16 because I was certain my mum was going to die. Then after a few operations, my mum started to recover, and then when I was in my final year at school, my dad got diagnosed with leukaemia and my step-brother nearly died from a collapsed lung.

My dad is still with us, but he's now very ill, and like a frail old man, which is upsetting to see. My brother's lung collapsed again, and he's now housebound, on oxygen 24/7. My mum's gotten better healthwise, but she's so upset about my dad. The only way I've coped is to blinker myself and get on with it, but the depression still rears it's ugly head every couple of months, when I feel really low, and worthless and cold inside. I've been to a psychotherapist, and in all honesty, it never helped...Infact I think it made me feel worse. I've also seen a counsellor, which was far more helpful and positive.

Sadly, I've now started having panic attacks, probably as a result of final year jitters with my degree.

Apart from the panic attacks and the anxiety and stress that go with it...I guess I'm coping fairy well.

I'm afraid I can't really offer much advice to people suffering from depression though

[Skydiver]

I have ups and downs...mine is largely hormones. typical female hormone ebb and flow. there are a few days when i'm a witch on wheels, other days when i'm just down. and still a few more where i'm all energized and happy and i get a lot done.

I can recognize the PMS, know that it'll get better tomorrow or the day after...still sucks though

I won't say i have panic attacks...but man if something 'big' or unsettling is going on at work, i'll have a hard time sleeping. Part of my hormonal ebb and flow is also a bit of insomnia...so benadryl is my friend and lives beside the bed.

the hardest part was having a friend convince me that there's nothing wrong with taking an occasional pill

[mad_gater]

(((hugs for everyone)))

I've suffered with depression for as long as I can honestly remember...It probably started when my uncle died when I was 9...it was at it's worst when I was in my first couple of years of high school. My life then consisted of going to school, being bullied, going home, going to bed and getting up the next day. I would literally spend all of my free time sleeping...I just didn't want to do anything.

The depression eased when I started sticking up for myself, and got involved with clubs and organisations. I'd yell back at the bullies. I started doing sports, started acting, started going hillwalking and finally made some friends.

Then my step-grandad died, and a year later my gran died. A year after that, my mum almost died of a heart attack and was bedridden for months. I was lost when my mum was ill, and looking back...there are months of my life missing...I've blacked them out. I have only a few vague memories of when I was 16 because I was certain my mum was going to die. Then after a few operations, my mum started to recover, and then when I was in my final year at school, my dad got diagnosed with leukaemia and my step-brother nearly died from a collapsed lung.

My dad is still with us, but he's now very ill, and like a frail old man, which is upsetting to see. My brother's lung collapsed again, and he's now housebound, on oxygen 24/7. My mum's gotten better healthwise, but she's so upset about my dad. The only way I've coped is to blinker myself and get on with it, but the depression still rears it's ugly head every couple of months, when I feel really low, and worthless and cold inside. I've been to a psychotherapist, and in all honesty, it never helped...Infact I think it made me feel worse. I've also seen a counsellor, which was far more helpful and positive.

Sadly, I've now started having panic attacks, probably as a result of final year jitters with my degree.

Apart from the panic attacks and the anxiety and stress that go with it...I guess I'm coping fairy well.

I'm afraid I can't really offer much advice to people suffering from depression though

*pounces and huggles sueKay*

hope that made you feel better...

now....when are either you or Mishy gonna update that "Third Party" fic? not that I'm itching for anything good to read or anything....

[mad_gater]

I feel for those who are depressed.

I myself felt that way many times. I will post my story here.

Well, it all started some years ago, (about 9 or 10, I am 19 now). I was in 5h grade in elementary school. I was getting into fights because of bullies. I am not a large person, I was the smallest in my grade and I was picked on quite a bit. So at any rate, this continued on into middle school. I was always picked on. I literally had 0 friends....and I tried too, but no one wanted to even know me. It kept on through high school. I learned how to fight, but every time i defended myself, I got their friends on me until i got about half the school on me. I've been suspended 20+ times for fighting but most of the time I was defending myself. (0 tolerance policy). I had very few friends and I tried to fit in, but I was never really given that opportunity. I guess it led to me being withdrawn

Another thing that has not been pleasant is girls ive been with. Ive had 4 GF's in my life. My first one was in middle school, it lasted a month and then nothing. She left me for someone else. I got with another girl in 10th grade. I cared for her, but it turns out 2 weeks into it, she was only using me to get back at an ex of hers by going out with "the loner". So before she left me, she insulted me to my face and then ditched me. I hated it all. I turned toward an attempt at suicide, but I could not do it. Then I found a girl a year and a half ago. It was on here acually. But she just used me to play with me feeling sorry for her . She left me in the lurch. In my pain, I drank myself comatose almsot every night for 3 weeks. Then I found out that another unnamed girl on here and who ive chatted with on MSN for months, had taken a liking toward me. Her name was susie. I am sure you know her. I was happy enough to stop drinking anyway and got with her. We were happy here for a whole year, I had made plans to go see her, but 2 months ago, she told me we were too young and too far away to see each other. I found out that she had fallen in love with someone else that was close to her in RL and she broke up with me that way. I have had 4 GF's and lost 4 to other people. I do not blame anyone but myself for it however. Girls will find people who can offer them something or the best person that women can find. I have nothing to offer anyone. It has left me rather bitter. I haven't had much happiness in my life up to this point. Parents were never that supportive of me to be honest (they never supported me and susie) For months, I have worked a crappy job trying to save enough money to go see susie. Coming home almost every night tired and dirty, but satisfied that I would get to see her after I was able to get a break from college. The thought of seeing her was the thought that kept me going. And it was all for nothing . That is pretty much the story. I will expect some people to think bad of me, but I dont' care anymore. This is my outlet and here it is.

-Amann-

well that's why I hate zero tolerance policies....more often than not they punish the victim let the perpetrators get off scott free.....

let me tell ya if I ever caught any of them jerks beating up on you I would've been there with you beating them off.....my anger is not pretty to behold....and I would've also assisted in challenging your school's zero tolerance policies.....they have to leave room for self-defense.....and if there's zero-tolerance your gym teachers probably aren't allowed to hold self-defense classes as a gym class option which would be stupid....at my high school one of the gym teachers offered it

[SoulReaver]

well I've had my own personal experiences too - in fact I live near a sedimentary basin. moderate tectonic activities in the subduction zone and the introduction of cold oceanic crust into the mantle collapses the local geothermal gradient and the resulting lithospheric flexure causes a larger portion of the earth to subside in a more brittle fashion than it would in a normal gradient setting, creating a foreland depression filled with sediments which gradually erode from the adjacent mountain belt

[mad_gater]

well I've had my own personal experiences too - heck I constantly live near a sedimentary basin. moderate tectonic activities in the subduction zone and the introduction of cold oceanic crust into the mantle collapses the local geothermal gradient and the resulting lithospheric flexure causes a larger portion of the earth to subside in a more brittle fashion than it would in a normal gradient setting, creating a foreland basin filled with sediments which gradually erode from the adjacent mountain belt

We're talking about mental depression that causes you to feel sad and have low energy levels.....but thanks anyway.....

unless you were seeking to use that as a metaphor....