Mess Hall / Commissary

[Oranos]

<<Ditto on the place >>

"I care," Hughes replied slowly, the rest of what he said coming out in a rush. "I care because underneath my facade of indifference, I'd like to be a decent person, and I don't ever want to see someone go through what I did. If I can do anything for you--even something small--I want to."

He started to slow down again. "And I can't prove that I'm not trying to take advantage of you." He ran a hand through his hair as he searched for a better answer, but he came up far short. "I'm not even sure how many people would vouch for me, if anyone. Like I've said, I've done a lot of stupid things and given off a lot of wrong first impressions. So if you were hoping for some kind of reassurance there, I just can't give it to you."

Hughes cocked his head to the side, not believing himself what he was about to say next. "I-I guess I could tell you my story first--never before heard in its entirety by any mortal being. If that makes any difference whatsoever."

[Northern Girl]

< In the corner, outside the elevators >

Julia shoved a hand in her pocket and fished up a paper tissue and loudly blew her nose, then tilted her head and gave him a scrutinizing look, ‘At least he seems honest. One thing I knew Steven never was. But can I trust him?’

She shrugged and wiped away another tear, “Sure, go on, I’m not going anywhere…” and that was very true. She knew she couldn’t trust her legs at this point, they’d betray her before she’d reach the elevator doors again. The stairs was totally out of question.

[Oranos]

((I warn you in advance. I was bored. So three cheers for endless dialogue. Be thankful you didn't have to proofread it though; I'm sure I missed a couple of obvious things.))

<<Ditto on the place.>>

Hughes sighed. "Here goes then."

"It was just the three of us--me, mom, dad. Mom died when I was young, and my dad wasn't there when it happened--his job, of course: he was special forces. When he came back, his behavior changed. Finding out about mom was the final straw, I think. Because things got bad from there."

Now that he was started, he found it much easier to continue. "He saw fit to train me to follow in his footsteps. He wanted me to be stronger. Better. I think I could have dealt with it had he approached it differently. PT, history of the military, and weapons were just some of the fun I got to have. To be fair, I found weapons oddly soothing. Not sure why. Something to do with the mechanics, I guess. But when I couldn't meet his high standards--"

"--It wasn't uncommon for him to beat me, lock me in my room and not let me out. Mom believed in God, I think, when she was alive. I vaguely recall her praying with me each night. So I turned to that, but it didn't help much. And I gave up on that a long time ago." And he'd never returned to it.

"So I improved. Even that wasn't enough. He'd accuse me of cheating. Or just set the bar that much higher--to the point where I don't think anyone could have succeeded. And he'd conveniently remind me how I wouldn't amount to anything. How I was doomed to a life of failure."

"At first, I sought out any kind of acceptance I could find. It didn't matter what it was. I was open to it. But as the beatings continued, I grew more and more distant. I started to push people away. By now, school was the only real refuge I had, and I used it to distract me. My grades were good so teachers pretty much stayed out of my way. With one notable exception."

"I couldn't tell you how it happened, how it came about. I don't remember. But one of my teachers was in my face. That much, I remember. I could only picture my father in his place, screaming at me. While I'd hated my dad, I'd more or less come to accept what he did to me. I thought that maybe I deserved it. But I couldn't take it anymore. So for the first time, I lost my cool. I snapped. And I punched him. Hard, as I recall. Another one of those stupid mistakes I mentioned."

"For whatever reason, the teacher took some of the responsibility, don't ask me why. I was slammed with community service. And I found myself watching a football practice when I was supposed to be working. But I was intrigued. The next year, I tried out for a team. Football became my saving grace. I was raw, but I still loved the game."

"By college, I was good. Damn good. The best, according to my teammates. About the time Arrington--the closest thing I've ever had to a friend--left for the NFL, he'd all but admitted I was better than he was. And I think I let it go to my head. I had finally really found a way to prove my dad wrong. I was something. And I got carried away. I got caught up in the limelight and I was scared with what I was becoming."

"So I abandoned football. And Arrington--who I'd always talked about making it big with--abandoned me. Or maybe it was the other way around. I don't know. I don't think I know enough about real relationships to tell you either way."

"Suffice to say, I eventually ended up here. But I never really found a way to escape my dad. It seems a second doesn't go by where I can't hear him taunting me."

He paused momentarily, deep in thought. "I'd put up so many barriers, worn so many different masks, kept so many people at bay that wanted to know what was wrong. I think I'd forgotten what it was like to just be me. Until now."

Maybe he'd talked too much, bored her to death about his problems, but he was done.

[DragonGate]

Jen stood in bemusement after the blow-up between Hughes and the nurse that rapidly left the mess. It was probably best to give them space. If Hughes wanted to talk to her, she'd give them the space to choose to do that. In the meantime, she would get food for both of them. Food was a nice, subtle "I'm with you on this."

She moved through the line quickly, putting a different meat on each plate to give him a choice. Not sure what he drank, she got an empty glass and some fruit juice for yourself and went back to the table he'd originally been at, setting the second plate up.

[Northern Girl]

< In the corner, outside the elevators >

Julia kept her eyes at the napkin in her hands, fiddling with a corner of it as she listened. The tears had finally stopped, leaving her eyes feel raw.
She looked at the man sitting next to her; his words were flowing like water form a broken dam, nothing being able to stop them. Not that she had any intention either at this point...

And she thought she'd had a rough time! Her ghosts had only haunted her for a few days, his had been there for years...
Julia took a steading breath against the pain of her ribs and then leaned over and gave him a very fast hug, “I'm sorry, I blew up on you like that,” then sat back and looked down at her hands. “I just haven't been myself over the last couple of days, but my reasons are nothing compared to your story. Growing up like that must have been terrible.”
She gave him a fast look, “If nothing else, then you ending up here on Gaia must have been a sweet revenge then, outsmarting him... Outliving him... In-spite of all his implications...”




((OOC: Sorry for the delay, life is hectic when off-duty...))

[Oranos]

<<Ditto. Same place.>>

Robert froze as Julia moved closer. The hug lasted only a couple of seconds, but it was enough to leave him speechless, as he tried to grasp at words that just wouldn't come. "I. What? You."

He managed to put together a complete thought. "You have nothing to apologize for. Whatever the reason, I'm quite sure I deserved it." Whatever the reason, he decided. He didn't want to pressure her into something she didn't want to talk about.

He cast a second, but no less pronounced, glance in Julia's direction, this one more amused than disbelieving, his lips quirking up into a small smile. "Sometimes I wonder."

"So." He wasn't sure what to say now. He'd opened up, put it all out there, even responded to her, and the aftermath just felt awkward. Possibly more awkward than his inability to cope with a display of affection.

[Northern Girl]

< In the corner, outside the elevators >

“So.” Julia was silent for a little while, then shot him a fast glance in the corner of her eye and heaved a sigh as deep she dared due to her protesting ribs, “My turn then, I guess?”
She bit her lip and closed her eyes for a few seconds as she tried to swallow the lump in her throat then fixed her eyes at a point on the wall across the corridor.
“We had this guy in the infirmary, a nurse. I met him back on SGC a few years ago. He gave me and the other women the creeps, but there was never anything one could put the finger on. He was just...odd. Somehow he just knew stuff.”
The tears threatened to break out again and she fought them as hard as she could, “There were rumors about him, but I never payed much attention to them, since they were just that; rumors. I mean he did his job, kept for himself most of the time, but the looks he gave me and Mary sometimes...”
Julia shook her head and pressed her lips together for a few seconds before finding the strength to continue, “Then last Saturday he asked me out on a date,” and there they were again, those traitorous, unstoppable *things that revealed her feelings. “...and I said no.”
Julia took a shuddering breath and closed her eyes, letting her head fall back to lean at the wall behind her.
“He jumped me in the stairwell when I got off my shift later that night. Knocked me down, kicked me in my ribs. Told me he would kill me if I ever told anybody about this...” She made a little nervous snort-giggling sound, “Unfortunately I'm terrible at following orders...”

[Oranos]

<<The spot hasn't changed. >>

With her account finished, Robert couldn't bring himself to meet Julia's gaze. "When I...you thought..." His eyes were wide with realization. "God, I feel so damn stupid."

He shook his head adamantly to drive home the point. "But I'm not like that. I'll never be like that."

At last, Robert blinked, puzzled. He wanted to know. Julia hadn't said. "So what happened to him?" Sadly, Hughes determined, whatever fate he'd met was probably better than he deserved.

[Northern Girl]

< In the corner, outside the elevators >

Julia gave him a small smile, “Well, at least you took my mind off from taking you downstairs for a check up... and look at me now; sitting what, 3 feet away from a man I was ready to throttle a few minutes ago? That must count for something.”
She blew her nose once again, “He's arrested and put in the brig. I don't know how, but apparently someone got to him anyway and beat him up pretty good. Last thing I heard he was in the infirmary, recovering after surgery of a subdural heama-” Julia grunted and shook her head, “Sorry, minor bleeding on the inside of the skull. Looks like who ever did the beating stopped prematurely though or Carrie wouldn't even have had to try to save him...”
She just couldn't help it, the hatred was just there again. Popping up like a jack-in-a-box. Would there ever be a stop? She was really beginning to think not and that thought scared her, almost choke her somethimes. It just wasn't her.

[Oranos]

<<You know damn well where Hughes is >>

Robert flashed a boyish grin, nodding his head with equal enthusiasm. "Yeah. I have that effect on people." If his grin could have grown larger, it would have. It vanished a second or two later and he smiled nervously. "At least we can both have a good laugh about it now, right?"

He paused momentarily, tilting his head to the side. "And, just for the record, you did sort of throttle me," he teased, rubbing at his chest. "You pushed me right about here. Remember?"

His eyebrows scrunched up as he thought hard and fast. The brain injury was...it was... "Subdural hematoma," Robert finished for her. "Yes?"

((God, Hughes is fun to write for. He cycles through emotions like I go through chocolate--which, for those of you that don't know, is fast.))

[Northern Girl]

< In the corner, outside the elevators >

Julia frowned, “Ok, so you know the medical term. Then you might also know that if it's a small one, it'll resolve itself over time. If it's a major one, you'll die if it's left untreated due to increased inter-cranial pressure, swelling and the ischemia that follows.”
Her look gaze hardened, “He got surgery as soon as his condition got critical... And survived because we have some really great surgeons and anesthesiologists around here. People that never makes mistakes, not even when under pressure. Not even when one of their best friend is the victim...” That last sentence was merely a whisper.

“Where's the justice in all this!?” she hissed after a moment of silence, “We all know about the dangers of surgery and being under general anesthesia, why couldn't just something happen during his surgery? Why didn't anyone just 'slip'?”
Deep down she knew they all were too professional to do something like that, but at this moment there were only that little voice of revenge that could make itself heard.

[Oranos]

<<You know where. >>

"Life isn't fair." Robert smiled grimly. "People like us are proof of that."

He paused, his eyebrows scrunching up again as he thought. "What you're feeling now is perfectly natural. In fact, I think I'd be more concerned if you weren't feeling this way."

"But these people are doctors. Their job is to save lives. Not just the people that deserve their help. Everyone. You can't expect your friends and coworkers to just...murder someone. How would they be any better than that monster? How would they live with themselves?"

((Didn't include the next section I had planned. Just didn't seem to work within the context of this post. ))

[Northern Girl]

< In the corner, outside the elevators >

Julia grimaced and shot him a look, “I know! It doesn't make me feel any better, but yeah, I know. The logic part of me says I should try and forgive them and move on, definitely not blame anyone for doing their job, doing what I too probably would have done in their place, but I can't. ”
She shifted position, the concrete floor was starting to make itself know for not being designed for to sit on for longer periods of time.
“I just feel... betrayed.”

[Oranos]

<<Same place>>

Hughes blinked, taken aback. Hadn't Julia been listening to anything he'd said? "You can't win your battles alone," he whispered. "I've spent my entire life learning that the hard way. Don't make the same mistakes I did."

"What you...what you think is betrayal isn't. Right now it's the stronger emotions--the hurt, the hate--talking. Things will start to balance out again."

"Your friends haven't betrayed you. They haven't left your side." He gently placed what he hoped was a comforting hand on her shoulder and he felt his cheeks heat up at the touch. "And neither will I. There's people that want to help you, but you have to give them that chance."

"Your friends have been there for you and they'll continue to be there for you." He smirked a little. "And if I have to lock you in a room with them to get the point across, I will."

[Northern Girl]

< In the corner, outside the elevators >

Julia flinched as she felt the hand on her arm, but didn't pull back, 'Get a grip girl! He's just being nice you know. You can't run a round being afraid all your life!'
She bit her lip, “I guess you're right, they're probably there. I just miss being able to trust someone,” then took a shuddering breath and gave him a shy smile, “but maybe this is a start..."

Her grin grew a little wider, “I think I'll practically do anything to avoid getting locked up with a some of my friends. They're best in smaller amounts... at least for now.”