Mess Hall / Commissary

[Northern Girl]

“Yeah, I totally agree with you on that one, that man certainly knows how to push certain buttons.” Carrie looked between Josh and his over filled plate and smiled, “Please! Dig in, I can hear your stomach growl from across the table”
To enforce her point she dug in to her own chicken to settle her stomach before looking back at Josh. “I guess I was really tired yesterday, to ask for a private moment with a priest… Sorry, chaplain, but here we are now anyway… And what is said between the two of us stays between the two of us, right?”
She knew it was so, but needed to hear it out loud anyway.

[aintright]

<<Chaplain Josh McGregor ~~ mmmm ... pass the hot sauce!>>


"Carrie, I could tell you to not let Cooper get to you but, then I would be the one asking for your advice." He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "We just need to take each other aside and let it out when he is not around." He sighed deeply, "In his presence on the other hand, we need to kill him with kindness. As painful as it may be; firm yet kind seems to be the formula."

He flushed at the note of his growling stomach. Grimaced slightly and dug in. There was a small space of silence as he attacked the platter before him. His gratitude for the food was audible.

Josh cocked his head to one side as she spoke of her moment of weakness. He straightened up and laid down his silverware. So this was going to be more than Cooper or basic stress of the job. "You know everything you tell me is between you and me and ..." He smiled not wanting to cause her to withdraw. He fumbled to find his pack and his notepad. Then changed his mind. He rubbed his chin and grinned. "Sorry, force of habit. I am all ears Carrie."

[Northern Girl]

Carrie offered him a small smile about the reference about “the other guy” but didn’t comment on it; it was just so Josh to get in a reference like that. She poked around on her plate before finally putting the fork down, “Have you ever had second thoughts about you choice of career?”
Looking back at up at Josh, she winced a little, “I mean… having the kind of profession we both have you don’t really choose, do you…? It just sort of happens, right? You just know what you want to do in life? That what you do feels right, and when you do it, you feel kind of... happy...”

[aintright]

<<Chaplain Josh McGregor ~~ i do what i do cause i love who i love!>>

Josh's head made a little jerk back with her line of questioning. He thought deeply for a moment trying to remember when or if ever he hadn't had some kind of inkling of where his life would lead. His voice changed from his usual jovial tone to a far more serious intense tone. "Aye, that is a misleading misnomer. A choice to spend one's life walking with GOD is truly a choice. GOD is a huge fan of free will. HE wants you on board because you want to be on board. Now, don't get me wrong. HE can be rather persistent and HE doesn't give up easily. I mean once I showed a flicker of interest HE was always there showing me the way." He took a breath, his voice was full of a deep compassion.

He moved forward again and his voice lightened slightly. His accent still heavy. "Once I made the commitment it was a matter of going wherever HE lead me. I trust HIM Carrie. HE has never lead me astray." His endearing smile returned and his jovial tone came back, "But, I don't think this is about me or why I do what I do. I know you love doing what you do Carrie. Wherever it may be. It shows, your work permeates your passion."

[Northern Girl]

“Well you see that’s just it!” Carrie tossed her ands up in the air and leaned back in her chair with a sigh. “Up until these last couple of days I’ve loved my job! Loved that I can make a difference… To be able to help people get better”
She leaned forward, supporting her lower arms on the table, “I won’t deny I’ve had my ups and downs over the years. Heck, name the surgeon who hasn’t, we deal with life and death on a daily basis fercryinoutlaud… But I’ve never felt like this before.”
Carrie took a deep breath and rubbed her face with her palms, speaking in a low voice, “Two days ago, I had to perform surgery on a man I knew was a sociopath, psychopath, I don’t know… Crazy! Someone who had hurt a friend of mine… and for the first time in my life I was beginning to question my work… My knowledge… My skills...”
Looking back up at Josh she chewed on her lip for a second before continuing, “I did as I was once taught, I detached my self, went in to the OR and did what I was good at… I saved a life and now I have to find a way to live with that...”

[aintright]

<<Chaplain Josh McGregor >>

McGregor fought to not get up and hug the woman. His heart ached for her. He sat silent for a moment as he thought on words to heal her. Not just words that patronized her state. It wasn't what she needed.

"Carrie, saving lives, I can't think of anything more powerful or giving that one could do for another. You have been given a very special talent." His tongue ran across his teeth as he treaded lightly. "Making the decision as to who deserves to live or not. No matter what their history. Do you really want the weight of that?" His look was now deeply into her eyes as if he was searching through the flashing synapses in her brain. "You saved an individual's life. End of story. It is what you do. Then it is in the hands of those empowered to make decisions as to that individual's consequences for their actions." He reached across the table and placed his hand over the hand of his friend.

Josh smiled a slight smile, "I wouldn't want to know the you I know if you did any less. That would be much harded to live with ma dear."

[Northern Girl]

Carrie looked down at Josh’s hand and squeezed it back with a weak grin, “That’s why this is so hard! I have this ability and I just can’t drop it and forget all about it all now, can I? I’ve been doing this for half my life… It’s there, put there by this God of yours or by my own making, it doesn’t matter.”
She shrugged and then released her hand to take some sips of water, “Taking a life however, is against everything I believe in, it’s just not on my chart, but after this event I’ve actually started to think “What about if I *didn’t know how to this?” How easy it could have been to just take a step back then and let that “slime ball” just pass away… and in my world; that’s scary as heck”
Carrie stirred in salad and picked up a piece of tomato, “The man in question is going to live to tell the tale by the way, probably without any kind of side effects, and as you said, the ultimate decision on life itself isn’t mine to make”

[aintright]

<<Chaplain Josh McGregor >>

Carrie looked down at Josh’s hand and squeezed it back with a weak grin, “That’s why this is so hard! I have this ability and I just can’t drop it and forget all about it all now, can I? I’ve been doing this for half my life… It’s there, put there by this God of yours or by my own making, it doesn’t matter.”

"Oh no Carrie I hope not. I'd call it a team effort. I do know that we need you Dr. Svensson. You are a gift to us all." The anguish he was feeling for her was apparent upon his face.

She shrugged and then released her hand to take some sips of water, “Taking a life however, is against everything I believe in, it’s just not on my chart, but after this event I’ve actually started to think “What about if I *didn’t know how to this?” How easy it could have been to just take a step back then and let that “slime ball” just pass away… and in my world; that’s scary as heck”

He folded his hands before him and let his chin rest upon them. "You seem to have the answer already Carrie. You know there is a difference between you and the individual you saved. You have a conscience full of love of those you serve. It is a beautiful quality." He paused momentarily and then continued, "Be glad that you are scared. Its when you come to me and can't say that you are scared that we will both need to be worried."

Carrie stirred in salad and picked up a piece of tomato, “The man in question is going to live to tell the tale by the way, probably without any kind of side effects, and as you said, the ultimate decision on life itself isn’t mine to make”

"Another life saved. Another man who has a second chance. Isn't that what we all want? Second chances, sometimes thirds and fourths. Would you really want to deny that to anyone?" He left that thought hanging for them both to think on. He tried to eat although he had lost his appetite. He didn't want her to feel she couldn't.

((a quick one ng ... excuse any typos and such ... ran out of time))

[Northern Girl]

Carrie shoved in the tomato while thinking, then looked back at Josh, “I don’t know, in most cases I’d say yes. In his case; no, he’s forfeited it... I know you don’t agree with me, and maybe we’ll just have to agree that we disagree in this matter, but in my opinion he’s just done too many bad things over the years to deserve a second chance…”
She took a deep breath and then finished off her chicken, finally making her stomach settle.

[aintright]

<<Chaplain Josh McGregor >>

Josh shifted a bit in his seat. He had a bad feeling on this. Had something happened on base? Had he missed a memo from the General? No, impossible, Corey was on top of everything.

He took a deep draught of the large glass of milk as he stalled. "Carrie, I know there is stuff you see that I am not privy to. As with my code of silence. So I may not be in the position of giving you a well thought out opinion on this. I don't know the specifics. So my words I fear may appear to be hollow." He grimaced a fraction and continued, "I hate to see you in such agony. Yah, know I do. One thing I am truly sure of is that if you hold on to this and let it eat you from the inside out." He paused again, "Its not healthy for yah ma dear. So however I can be here for yah to move on, just know that I am." He stared earnestly into her face, "If it means we need to go for a run, you need a sparring partner, we need to head to Foreston for a good round with the pints? You tell me and I am there." He broke into a grin on the last part. "In fact now is the time to be in Foreston, I hear the councilman is away." With that he let out an audible chuckle.

[dancer_4_daniel]

Checking his watch, Liam decided to try and catch up with Natasha later. As he rose to his feet, he pondered the suggestion he'd gotten about advertising dance lessons. Couldn't hurt any... he mused.

He would go to the Lounge and make some fliers and leave them on the tables. Having settled this to his satisfaction, he left.

<to Lounge>

[Northern Girl]

<<Chaplain Josh McGregor >>

Spoiler:

Josh shifted a bit in his seat. He had a bad feeling on this. Had something happened on base? Had he missed a memo from the General? No, impossible, Corey was on top of everything.

He took a deep draught of the large glass of milk as he stalled. "Carrie, I know there is stuff you see that I am not privy to. As with my code of silence. So I may not be in the position of giving you a well thought out opinion on this. I don't know the specifics. So my words I fear may appear to be hollow." He grimaced a fraction and continued, "I hate to see you in such agony. Yah, know I do. One thing I am truly sure of is that if you hold on to this and let it eat you from the inside out." He paused again, "Its not healthy for yah ma dear. So however I can be here for yah to move on, just know that I am." He stared earnestly into her face, "If it means we need to go for a run, you need a sparring partner, we need to head to Foreston for a good round with the pints? You tell me and I am there." He broke into a grin on the last part. "In fact now is the time to be in Foreston, I hear the councilman is away." With that he let out an audible chuckle.

Carrie finished off her meal while listening to Josh, then wiped her mouth and looked back at the chaplain, “All I needed was to get things off my chest… to talk to someone about my thoughts, if you want more details about the events that led up to this, ask Gus or Blue to let you in on this, I mean, having you around to talk to might be an alternative to the shrink. As you said, I think that deep down I know pretty well where I am and where I stand in questions like this, doesn’t make it any easier though…”
She took some sips of the water before continuing and grinned, “…and you’d better be careful about what you’re offering Josh, for a civvie doc I’m pretty good at self defense, though…” Carrie chuckled at the thought of having a bar round with a chaplain, thankful for the turn the conversation now took “…a beer in Foreston sounds even better, I might take you up on that one, you know what they say, “When the cat’s away…”
Getting up from her chair, she looked at Josh, “I’m getting something of what goes for coffee around here, you want me to get some?”

[aintright]

<<Chaplain Josh McGregor >>

Carrie finished off her meal while listening to Josh, then wiped her mouth and looked back at the chaplain, “All I needed was to get things off my chest… to talk to someone about my thoughts, if you want more details about the events that led up to this, ask Gus or Blue to let you in on this, I mean, having you around to talk to might be an alternative to the shrink. As you said, I think that deep down I know pretty well where I am and where I stand in questions like this, doesn’t make it any easier though…”

"Well this sounding board is always open Carrie. Even if I am over at Beta you can always have an encrypted message sent to me." Since she was eating he picked up his silverware and joined her. His appetite had returned somewhat.

"I am certainly not asking for details on the matter. Just offering a small disclaimer." He grinned as he moved onto the dessert. Josh cringed slightly to the alternative to a shrink remark. Of course it wasn't how he saw his position but, he would serve in that capacity if it was what was needed. He always saw his job as one of relationships.

She took some sips of the water before continuing and grinned, “…and you’d better be careful about what you’re offering Josh, for a civvie doc I’m pretty good at self defense, though…” Carrie chuckled at the thought of having a bar round with a chaplain, thankful for the turn the conversation now took “…a beer in Foreston sounds even better, I might take you up on that one, you know what they say, “When the cat’s away…”

With a little nod of the head, "Don't let my title confuse you dear. I went through military training. I too can defend myself when I need to." He winked and started scraping the very empty bowl in hopes to find one last scrap. "Aye a pint anywhere sounds a might fine." He let out a sigh as he could almost taste the ale on his tongue. "No cat ma dear. More like a wolf, the big bad wolf to be precise. He is off looking for some new piggies to prey on." Shaking his head to the offer of coffee he looked over the empty tray before him. He picked up the dessert dish, "I will however accept another of these if you are so inclined."

[Northern Girl]

Grinning about the wolf-simile, Carrie accepted the empty bowl, “One green Jell-O coming up,” and then walked over to the counter.
Making a motion with her head towards Josh she handed the bowl over to the attending airman, “My dinner companion wants a refill?”
The young man gave first her and then Josh a disbelieving look, shrugged and shook his head as he put a big lump of the green stuff in the bowl, whispering as he handed it over, “You know Doc, it’s perfectly alright to admit that you like the stuff, it’s not like I’m not gonna tell anyone… and I promise, it’s safe to eat as well. No strange side effects recorded so far.”
Carrie chuckled and accepted the plate, “Thank you for the confidence airman, but honestly, it’s not for me, I hate this stuff. I’ll go for the apple pie with vanilla ice cream instead, please.”
“Alright, back in a few...” One minute later, a portion of steaming apple pie landed on the counter between them, “Here you go Doc,” the man shot a look over his shoulder to make sure Swanson wasn’t around and then leaned forward, “I added some extra ice cream, think you can remember that when I’m up for my yearly physical next week?”
Doing her best to keep a straight face, Carrie put her plate on the tray and looked back at him, “Yeah… Of course, I’ll see what I can do about it airman…” she took a closer look at the name tag “… Harrison”
“Thank you Doc!”

The utterly relieved and happy expression on the mans face made her frown a little, making a mental note of making a deep dive into his medical file when that day came, “Your welcome Harrison…” She gave him a grin and a nod and then walked over to the table where the thermoses of coffee were.
After having placed her mug with coffee on the tray, she moved back through the Mess hall and sat down opposite Josh, giving him a small grin, “You sure of this Jell-O stuff? I wouldn’t mind sharing the pie, I think the airman over there by the counter, thinks I should gain weight or something…” before leaning back in her chair and carefully tapped Kim on the shoulder, “Hey, Kim, you look kind of lonely? Want to come and join us for dessert?”

[aintright]

<<Chaplain Josh McGregor >>

Josh sat back in his seat and debated unbuttoning his pants. He had really overdone it a little. His mind ran wildly through his thoughts. He wished he had a straight out simple answer for Carrie that could fix things for her. Of course there wasn't one. McGregor didn't know all of the details but, he was sure she had every right to be angry with the individual that placed her in this predicament. He also had not doubt that she needed to find a way to forgive so she could move on. His mental rampage was abruptly halted by a bowl of green jello.

Looking across at the doctor before him Josh grinned. "I happen to be rather fond of that stuff. Something wonderful about the feel of it sliding down the back of you tongue and on down your throat." He raised an eyebrow at her remark of gaining weight. "Ahhh the lad just probably notes the lack of your presence in this part of the base. He is worried for your welfare. Wanting to keep a little meat on those bones. We can't have you fading away." He snickered and let a green cube begin its journey of his satisfaction. "No pie for me. That a bit of extra ice cream there that needs a new home?" He snickered at his boldness.