"Nuttier than Squirrel Crap!" : The Post your favorite colloquialisms Thread

[Larry The Chevron Guy]

Make them stargate related if you wish.

"Useless as a screen door on a ha'tak!"

Or normal:

"You look like you got slapped away from the dinner table for farting!"

"he stood there looking like a Bas**rd calf in a hail storm!

"Hotter than a popcorn fart!"

"Happy as a dog with two peckers!"


Your turn!

[SeaBee]

ROTFLMAO!!!

How about:

"He looked like he fell out of the ugly tree, and hit every branch"

"As much use as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest"

and for SG-1

"That makes as much sense as a Carter explanation"

[Larry The Chevron Guy]

"So sad it would bring a tear to a glass eye"

"He stands out like a first-timer at a nudist camp."

"that's as screwed up as a left-handed football bat"

"Harder than a honeymoon hardon."

[keshou]

Texas Expressions, Stargate style.....

"Somebody beat him with the ugly stick!" (Sokar, take your pick)

In Texas - "Big hat, no cattle." (all talk, no action)
On Stargate - "Big ship, no Jaffa"

Hammond to Bra'tac: "This ain't my first rodeo." (I've been around awhile)

"Apophis' meaner than a skilletful of rattlesnakes"

"Daniel speaks ten words a second, with gusts to fifty"

"Baa'l thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow."

"Kinsey's so low he'd steal the nickels off a dead man's eyes."

"Felger would worry the warts off a frog."

[nugglebugget]

"He'd steal c### from a blind tumble bug,break it's leg & send it down the wrong path home."

" He's full of more s### than a Thanksgiving turkey"

" I've eaten so much crow,I'm spittin feathers"

Stargate ones:

"All his chevrons won't lock"

"About as exciting as the Asguard version of the "Kama-Sutra"

* maybe I'll come back when I can think of some more*

[Larry The Chevron Guy]

Ugly enough to make Ray Charles whince.

Madder than an Ethiopian with no legs watching a doughnut roll down a hill.

As frustrated as a hairlip ordering worchestershire sauce at a steak house.

Madder than a deaf mute playing bingo, getting bingo, and trying to yell out bingo!

[Spaceminx]

My fave expression is used to decribe someone who's ugly

"He/she looks like a bulldog chewing a wasp!" (must be said in a northern accent though )

And a Stargate one to describe someone stupid or loony

"They're one chevron short of a Stargate address."

[nugglebugget]

"She could haunt houses for a living"

".....so ugly they have to sneak up on a glass of water to get a drink"

[SeaBee]

"He was so fat he had to get off the beach so the tide could come in!"

[Greesha]

"missed it by an ant's tushie hair!"

[Spaceminx]

"He was so ugly that when he was born the doctor slapped his mother."

"He was so ugly that his parents had to tie a pork chop round his neck so the dog would play with him."

[Rubideaux]

"A few french fries short of a happy meal"

My personal favorite O'Neill quote from "Window of Opportunity"! Use it all the time...

[Gromit]

"smaller than a hair on a spiders bottom"

[petzke_42]

Wallace and Gromit are awesome (don't know if youre name is for THAT gromit, which may even be spelled different, but they still are.)

[Bagpuss]

"Madder than a sackful of Ferrets."
"As much use as a chocolate teapot."