Originally posted by Twilight506
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Thoughts on Jacob, Jonas, Jack, and Pete (J...J...J...P...???)
Spoiler:
Overall I think that Sam's dating Pete is, like life, complicated with a lot of different aspects. With my previous discussion contrasting Pete with the previous men in her life, I'm only pulling out one side of the reasoning. Humans are multi-faceted and many of our decisions are an entanglement of personality, previous experiences, future hopes, and current circumstances.
We don't know a lot about Jacob prior to "Secrets" - but the way he attempts to interfere with Sam's life, her exasperation with him, leads me to believe he was more controlling than post-Selmak. Somewhere along the way Sam learned to stand on her own two feet and pull away from her father, but it's clear that she still struggles to please him to some degree (I think it pains her that she can't tell him what she's doing, she wants him to TRUST her that she's doing what she wants and that it's amazing). She even comments that she knew that he would make it about him at some point. Jacob was a military man - he was emotionally distant from his family while still trying to control what they did (I'm sure that Sam's mother's death was the beginning of the rift for Mark/Jacob, but that Jacob's continued lack of emotional & physical presence created further resentment).
So in walks Jonas. While Jonas is certainly extreme - emotionally abusive, he unfortunately shares that controlling quality that her father has. I just imagine that Sam meets him, he's charming, and they date. She lets the relationship continue and doesn't read the warning signs because she's used to her father giving "orders" and dictating her life so to speak. Between her studies (which were no doubt intense) and her AF requirements she probably didn't quite realize what she'd gotten herself into until it was too late. Judging from the way she reacted in "First Commandment" he had some psychological power over her. Much like her father (although as I said in a more extreme way) - he also again, tried to plan her future (I mean, he wanted her to stay and be his goddess FCOL). I'm going to say he was probably emotionally distant as well.
Enter Jack. We know he's emotionally distant. He doesn't talk about how he feels and he avoids rocking the emotional boat. Jack was never abusive (neither was Jacob), but he holds a position of power in her life. He tells her what to do as her commander. While he would never dictate Sam's life... she doesn't know that. Up to Season 7, he's been her boss, telling her what to do when to do it and like a good officer she follows his orders. Not only to Sam and Jack have amazing chemistry, but I have to wonder if her attraction to him was also rooted in the "type" of man she had thus far had in her life.
When she meets Pete this is the first real relationship she's had where *she's* in the position of power. She has the cooler job. She's the one being pursued. I have to believe that while it irritates the hell out of us that he stalked her, if you take a look at Sam's track record, it's believable that she could overlook it. That Pete apologizes must play a part in her brain of sealing his place of being a "good guy" in her mind. Pete has some controlling qualities (buying the house, talking about a dog, etc) - but I think Pete would have backed off if Sam had said anything. I think her relationship with Pete taught her to do what she had only really started to do in "Secrets" and through dumping Jonas - have confidence, go for what you want, don't worry what everyone else will think - stop being a freaking people pleaser.
That last line is why I think it's HUGE what Jacob tells her in "Threads". He's telling her not to settle... and I think by the time we get to Season 8 Sam knows that Jack isn't like Jacob or Jonas. He may give her orders in the field but he never stands in her way. He shows confidence in her decisions and trusts her. THAT'S what sets him apart from (early)Jacob, Jonas, and Pete. JJ&P tried to form Sam into their ideal... and Jack sees Sam as she is and *that* his ideal
But until we get to "Threads" I think she sees Pete as the opposite of JJ&J - he's emotionally/physically present, doesn't hold the power in the relationship (again, I think if she had actually told him what she wanted with the house, he wouldn't have done it), and he behaved differently... but... he didn't know her, he didn't trust her... and that is the ultimate thing that set's Jack apart from him, Jacob, and Jonas (and in the alternate timeline, Joe - who also tried to control her...)
I still don't fully understand how this green works and I can't green you from some reason and I wanted to. Oh, anyway, that's great analysis!
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