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Ripple in Space
August 28th, 2008, 02:49 PM
First 5 minutes of the pilot:

Part 1:
[Bright Flash of Light]
:sheppard:: General, Colonels.
:mckay:: So why exactly are you here? Not that we're not pleased to see you, but Woolsey was, well, vague when informing us of your trip.
:vala:: We're going to another Universe!
[Roll Intro]
:mckay:: What?!?
:daniel:: Actually, I've figured out how to activate the ninth chevron, and we're here to try it out.
:sheppard:: Why in Atlantis?
:jack:: On the off chance that the ninth chevron opens into a super black hole, makes the gate self-destruct or causes any other number of bad things to happen, the IOA didn't want Earth to be the testing ground.
:sheppard:: And Atlantis is the better "testing ground"?
:sam:: Atlantis is our most secure facility outside of the SGC
:daniel: [interjects]: Plus, all indications point to the ninth chevron leading to some sort of Ancient Repository rather than a black hole. The literal translation is "the seed of the Alterrans."
:mckay:: Sounds like some kind of Ancient Fertility Clinic.
:daniel:: Actually this Ancient word for "seed" was the same word the Ancients used when referring to "seeding the Milky Way with life." There's no telling what kind of technology it leads to.
:jack:: And that's why we're here.
:sheppard:: You'll be leading the mission sir?
:jack:: Since the last two times we've made first contact with a new galaxy we've found ourselves at war with vastly more powerful enemies...

[faux-stern glances at Daniel, Vala, Sheppard & McKay]

[Daniel shrugs jokingly accepting the criticism]

...I thought I'd try to keep our number of wars to a minimum.

Ripple in Space
August 28th, 2008, 02:50 PM
Part 2:
:mckay:: Do you have any idea how much power it will take to pull this off?

:sam:: Based on Daniel's research we've run some simulations. It seems that the minimum amount of power needed to initialize the process would be 3 ZPMs running at peak efficiency

:mckay:: Which we don't have.

:sam:: And that's why we brought this along.

[Pulls out an odd contraption]

:mckay:: What's that? It looks like something MacGyver would make out of rubber bands and paper clips.

:sam:: Over a decade ago when General O'Neill had the Ancient database uploaded into his brain.

:daniel: [interjects]: For the first time.

:sam:: He built a device that was capable of dialing the eight chevron.

:mckay:: I knew about that, before the Naquadah Generator project, they had me trying to duplicate the thing, it was impossible. The thing defied the laws of physics.

:sam:: Difficult, but not impossible. It took Area 51 over 10 years and then the taxing of the limits of the Asgard Core, but we duplicated it.

:sheppard:: So that little thing is as powerful as 3 ZPMs?

:sam:: Well, no. But for 2-5 minutes it can output the equivalent of 3 ZPMs worth of power before burning out.

:ronan:: 2-5 minutes? Doesn't sound like it'll do you much good. How are you supposed to get back?

:tealc:: That is why we brought two.

[hands a bag containing another one to Ronon]

:mckay:: Sounds like it just might work.

:jack:: I'm glad you approve Dr. McKay, because you and the rest of the Colonel's team will be escorting us.

[montage of Sam, Rodney & Zelenka prepping the equipment]

Ripple in Space
August 28th, 2008, 02:50 PM
Part 3:
[Atlantis Control Room]
[All NINE Chevrons dialed, both teams prepped behind a MALP]

:sam:: We're reading breathable atmosphere.

:mckay:: It appears to be inside some kind of Ancient base, but it's hard to tell.

:sam:: I'd say it's safe sir. And this is the only chance we'll have, we can't dial out again.

:jack:: Then let's head out.

[Sam and Rodney dash down in front of their teams]

:sam:: Just as a quick warning, given the estimated distance we'll be traveling, there might be a noticeable lag until arrival.

:jack:: How noticeable?

:sam:: Up to 30 seconds.

:jack:: Oooh if only the airlines shared your definition of "lag."
[In a loud voice]
Let's head out!

[Sam, Daniel and Teal'c step through first]

[Jack, McKay & Shep are now in front of the Horizon]

:jack:: Leave the lights on for us.

Woolsey: Will do General. Good luck.

[Jack, McKay & Shepp step through the Gate in unison]

[Rapid energy beams immediately start coming through the gate into Atlantis]

[One of the first strikes the package held by Ronon causing an explosion that knocks him across the room]

Woolsey: Raise the shield!

[Shield activates right in front of Cam, Vala & Teyla]

:sam: [over the Comm]: This is Colonel Carter, we're under heavy fire. Daniel's been hit, and there are no visible enemies.

Woolsey: Atlantis has also taken damage. I thought weapons fire couldn't come through an outgoing wormhole!

:sam: [over the Comm]: So did I... Maybe these weapons got around that somehow or maybe it has something to do with the ninth chevron. We'll figure it out later, but now send through the second power device.

Woolsey: Colonel, I'm sorry to say it's been destroyed. One of the blasts hit the device and Ronon.

:sam:: Then... leave the shield up, there's no reason to strand anyone else out here, especially since it doesn't look like we'll be getting out of this.

:cameron:: Screw that! Woolsey, lift the shield, we're going in!

Woolsey: You heard Colonel Carter, it would be suicide... at best.

:cameron:: I don't give a damn, and I'm giving you an order! Lower the shield! You can raise it right behind us.

Woolsey: Colonel...

Chuck: Wormhole disengaged.

Zelenka: The power source has been depleted.

[The alien room]

:tealc:: We cannot take much more of this!

[Jack, McKay & Shep step through]

[Weapons fire immediately ceases]
[Inviting lights turn on]

Computer's voice: Welcome back

:daniel: (on the ground): What just happened?

:sam:: The computer must think that General O'Neill, McKay and Sheppard are Ancients.

:daniel:: Gate's shutdown!

:jack:: What just happened?

stargater1990
August 28th, 2008, 07:57 PM
wow, i can almost believe that this is what the real pilot would be like, its very plausible. keep posting. plz:cameron:

Ripple in Space
September 19th, 2008, 07:41 PM
wow, i can almost believe that this is what the real pilot would be like, its very plausible. keep posting. plz:cameron:
We can hope.

quade_1
September 20th, 2008, 10:48 AM
I am all for Universe, but this is exactly what would kill the series. A for effort, D for writing.

Ripple in Space
September 20th, 2008, 07:12 PM
I am all for Universe, but this is exactly what would kill the series. A for effort, D for writing.

Kill the show? I'll take the writing criticism, but that basic premise would make the best SG ever seen rather than a bunch of angsty 20-somethings in space.

Jack, Daniel, Teal'c, Sam, Shep & McKay stranded in another galaxy on a spaceship exploring new worlds? Dunno about you but that would be my ideal.

quade_1
September 20th, 2008, 11:15 PM
Kill the show? I'll take the writing criticism, but that basic premise would make the best SG ever seen rather than a bunch of angsty 20-somethings in space.

Jack, Daniel, Teal'c, Sam, Shep & McKay stranded in another galaxy on a spaceship exploring new worlds? Dunno about you but that would be my ideal.

first, way too many crossover characters. If they do crossover characters I hope its not more than 1.
second, by defying the laws of a wormhole, and are basically calling the last 10+ years of stargate a farce. let alone the fact that the laser blasts don't hit any of the guys while in transit?? and there isn't even a plausible or semi plausible explanation to the reason why they can do that.
third, there is too many little conviences. ronin happens to get shot exactly in the bag with the energy source. the ship happens to recognize ancient genes, when during its construction the ancients weren't at war and had no enemies?
and last, you have already killed off daniel moments after stepping through the gate.

like i said good effort but a little substandard for Stargate

Ripple in Space
September 21st, 2008, 08:45 PM
first, way too many crossover characters. If they do crossover characters I hope its not more than 1.
second, by defying the laws of a wormhole, and are basically calling the last 10+ years of stargate a farce. let alone the fact that the laser blasts don't hit any of the guys while in transit?? and there isn't even a plausible or semi plausible explanation to the reason why they can do that.
third, there is too many little conviences. ronin happens to get shot exactly in the bag with the energy source. the ship happens to recognize ancient genes, when during its construction the ancients weren't at war and had no enemies?
and last, you have already killed off daniel moments after stepping through the gate.

like i said good effort but a little substandard for Stargate

:rolleyes: Way to take some kidding...

First of all, Daniel didn't die, he was just hit. The fact that he was talking kind of indicates his living (well with him, lol). Secondly, I'm pretty sure no rules were established w/ 9th chevron activation. Not to mention the fact that some things can travel into an outgoing wormhole such as radio waves. Also it was left extremely ambiguous. Thirdly it wouldn't hit people in transit, because their bodies aren't flying through the wormhole, they're dematerialized & rematerialized.

do not freeze
September 22nd, 2008, 07:27 AM
I like it... I guess your vision of it is better than what the real thing will be.

September 22nd, 2008, 02:12 PM
Part 2:
:mckay:: Do you have any idea how much power it will take to pull this off?

:sam:: Based on Daniel's research we've run some simulations. It seems that the minimum amount of power needed to initialize the process would be 3 ZPMs running at peak efficiency

:mckay:: Which we don't have.

:sam:: And that's why we brought this along.

[Pulls out an odd contraption]

:mckay:: What's that? It looks like something MacGyver would make out of rubber bands and paper clips.

:sam:: Over a decade ago when General O'Neill had the Ancient database uploaded into his brain.

:daniel: [interjects]: For the first time.

:sam:: He built a device that was capable of dialing the eight chevron.

:mckay:: I knew about that, before the Naquadah Generator project, they had me trying to duplicate the thing, it was impossible. The thing defied the laws of physics.

:sam:: Difficult, but not impossible. It took Area 51 over 10 years and then the taxing of the limits of the Asgard Core, but we duplicated it.

:sheppard:: So that little thing is as powerful as 3 ZPMs?

:sam:: Well, no. But for 2-5 minutes it can output the equivalent of 3 ZPMs worth of power before burning out.

:ronan:: 2-5 minutes? Doesn't sound like it'll do you much good. How are you supposed to get back?

:tealc:: That is why we brought two.

[hands a bag containing another one to Ronon]

:mckay:: Sounds like it just might work.

:jack:: I'm glad you approve Dr. McKay, because you and the rest of the Colonel's team will be escorting us.

[montage of Sam, Rodney & Zelenka prepping the equipment]

:daniel:meh

Ripple in Space
January 25th, 2009, 01:26 PM
I like it... I guess your vision of it is better than what the real thing will be.

lol, thanks

reddevil18
January 25th, 2009, 01:35 PM
I like it... I guess your vision of it is better than what the real thing will be.Personally, I say it's crap.

Orion Antreas
January 25th, 2009, 01:49 PM
Provided me a couple of minutes of entertainment. I liked it, but it's a definite no for Universe.

Bagpuss
January 26th, 2009, 04:42 PM
As none of us know how the pilot ep is going to be scripted ,and it seems the thread topic was intended to be taken in good humour,please desist from calling RIS' script idea anything derogatory.

Having said that,I'll tweak the title for you ,RIS, if you send me a quick pm.That'll cut down on misunderstandings .:)

ETA : Done.:)