Found something else while I was cleaning up. Updated it slightly since it was written around the beginning of S6. Just more fluff. 
The final ep of Stargate SG-1 deals with the fabled Sarc of Anubis.
Jack receives a strange gift- a Legacy of sorts- from Hammond, who is an Icon in the happy village of SGC. Hammond disappears in a flash of Fire and Water shortly after throwing a fabulous birthday party for himself wherein he gave away most of his worldly posessions to friends and Enemies alike. Daniel arrives unexpectedly and makes several surprising Revelations. He explains to Jack that the Sarc is very dangerous and that it once belonged to the Dark Lord Anubis. He waves a TER over the sarc and strange hieroglyphs begin to glow along the rim. He translates them for Jack.
One Sarc to rule them all, One Sarc to find them,
One Sarc to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.
In other words, he who posesses the Sarc has Absolute Power over everyone, and Anubis will take Desperate Measures in order to regain it. Even the SGC will not be safe, as it is only A Matter of Time before Anubis' forces discover them. Jack decides he must journey to Abydos and seek the advice of the Eggheads. He intends to go by himself, but Jonas, a quiet character with much Grace was hiding in the bushes outside Jack's house (It was In the Line of Duty, he was just gardening, I swear). He overheard Daniel's Disclosure and was determined to help Jack on his quest, especially since he's always wanted to meet the Eggheads. The two friends set off, only to bump into Major Davis and Lieutenant Grogan (who have an Affinity for getting into trouble) decide they could use a Holiday and invite themselves along.
The merry band of travelers (almost Family, in a way) encounter many adventures on their way to Abydos (including a strange encounter with the silly but likeable Urgo) and are pursued all the while by the Nazgoa'uld, emmisaries of Anubis. Jack and his team manage to escape... barely... with the help of The Tok'ra Martouf, a mysterious stranger who is far more than he seems.
Meanwhile, Daniel does battle with the evil wizard Simmons. Once a friend, Simmons is now a Nemesis who is plotting his own quest for the Sarc and the power it will bring to him. Daniel rejoins the team in Abydos, where Jack is still recovering from a nasty zat shot. The Eggheads have only a partial Cure for the wound. Jack will carry the scar with him as a Memento until his Exodus from this life. Surprisingly, Hammond is also in Abydos. Though Jack is happy to see him, he becomes alarmed when Hammond undergoes a brief Metamorphosis of character and tries to take the Sarc back.
The Council of Siler determines that the only way to destroy the Sarc is to take it to Netu and toss it Into the Fire of Mount Za'ha'dum. Carter the Egghead joins the quest as does the Jaffa Teal'c, a great Warrior who carries a weapon known as Thor's Hammer. Maybourne, who has Need of the Sarc for his own purposes, makes a Pretense of offering his Allegiance as well. The nine member team form a Covenant and set off, unaware of the potential Enemy Within their ranks.
They travel for a long time- at least half A Hundred Days- and after an attempt to cross a mountain which almost leaves them all Frozen, they decide to take a perilous venture Beneath the Surface where Jack notices that they are being pursued by someone- or some THING. Kawalsky fell prey to The Curse of the Sarc. He had it for many years before losing it to Hammond and has been tracking Jack in hopes of regaining his Precious.
Inside the mountain they find a Lost City of Jaffa which has fallen into disrepair. The inhabitants, whose Bloodlines match Teal'c's, are all dead. He is in mourning for them when the Reetou attack, attempting to Divide & Conquer the team. Daniel leads them to safety but takes One False Step in a battle against a hideous Entity known as a Replicator and it isn't long before he has soon Fallen into an Abyss. His Descent is thought to be fatal.
The loss of Daniel staggers the team, making them feel as if they have been Forsaken. It is a sad and weary bunch that make their way into the forests of the Egghead Anise who lives in a Paradise Lost amid the trees. Although she is hard to read at times- an Enigma- she provides rest and comfort to the team (though not all share that Point of View and remain wary of her Maternal Instinct). The visions in her magical Smoke and Mirrors provide a Prophecy of sorts and she takes Jack aside, telling him that he must finish the journey he started or risk starting a Chain Reaction that will doom their whole world.
The team travels down the river for many days, finally arriving at a Crossroads: should they continue on to Netu, or side-track to Maybourne's kingdom? There is a Fallout among the teammates. Maybourne corners Jack, attempting to convince him to help the people of his (Maybourne's) Birthright by arguing Politics. When that fails, he tries to steal the Sarc, but Jack manages to gain a Foothold and escape.
A band of Demons known as NID agents attack. Maybourne sees The Light and in a final act of Redemption, sacrifices himself in order to try and save Major Davis & Lieutenant Grogan. He dies heroically in his Last Stand, but unfortunately he does so a few minutes too soon and Major D and Grogan become Fair Game for the NID.
Unaware of his friends peril, Jack sees the attack as a Window of Opportunity and takes off, trying to reach the New Ground on the Other Side of the river. However, Jonas sees him, and Jack is forced to rescue his friend from the river. The two of them, the First Ones to begin the quest, continue on their way past the Point of No Return and deep into the Serpent's Lair of Anubis.
The movie will be the conclusion. Jack and Jonas are forced to team up with Kawalsky while the Other Guys from the team find danger and adventure on their own- including an encounter with The Nox, who are on a quest of their own. Great battles will be waged, a surprising Resurrection will occur and many Secrets revealed before their final Homecoming, but the Spirits of the intrepid Heroes shall see them through until they come Full Circle to their Emancipation.
The final ep of Stargate SG-1 deals with the fabled Sarc of Anubis.
Jack receives a strange gift- a Legacy of sorts- from Hammond, who is an Icon in the happy village of SGC. Hammond disappears in a flash of Fire and Water shortly after throwing a fabulous birthday party for himself wherein he gave away most of his worldly posessions to friends and Enemies alike. Daniel arrives unexpectedly and makes several surprising Revelations. He explains to Jack that the Sarc is very dangerous and that it once belonged to the Dark Lord Anubis. He waves a TER over the sarc and strange hieroglyphs begin to glow along the rim. He translates them for Jack.
One Sarc to rule them all, One Sarc to find them,
One Sarc to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.
In other words, he who posesses the Sarc has Absolute Power over everyone, and Anubis will take Desperate Measures in order to regain it. Even the SGC will not be safe, as it is only A Matter of Time before Anubis' forces discover them. Jack decides he must journey to Abydos and seek the advice of the Eggheads. He intends to go by himself, but Jonas, a quiet character with much Grace was hiding in the bushes outside Jack's house (It was In the Line of Duty, he was just gardening, I swear). He overheard Daniel's Disclosure and was determined to help Jack on his quest, especially since he's always wanted to meet the Eggheads. The two friends set off, only to bump into Major Davis and Lieutenant Grogan (who have an Affinity for getting into trouble) decide they could use a Holiday and invite themselves along.
The merry band of travelers (almost Family, in a way) encounter many adventures on their way to Abydos (including a strange encounter with the silly but likeable Urgo) and are pursued all the while by the Nazgoa'uld, emmisaries of Anubis. Jack and his team manage to escape... barely... with the help of The Tok'ra Martouf, a mysterious stranger who is far more than he seems.
Meanwhile, Daniel does battle with the evil wizard Simmons. Once a friend, Simmons is now a Nemesis who is plotting his own quest for the Sarc and the power it will bring to him. Daniel rejoins the team in Abydos, where Jack is still recovering from a nasty zat shot. The Eggheads have only a partial Cure for the wound. Jack will carry the scar with him as a Memento until his Exodus from this life. Surprisingly, Hammond is also in Abydos. Though Jack is happy to see him, he becomes alarmed when Hammond undergoes a brief Metamorphosis of character and tries to take the Sarc back.
The Council of Siler determines that the only way to destroy the Sarc is to take it to Netu and toss it Into the Fire of Mount Za'ha'dum. Carter the Egghead joins the quest as does the Jaffa Teal'c, a great Warrior who carries a weapon known as Thor's Hammer. Maybourne, who has Need of the Sarc for his own purposes, makes a Pretense of offering his Allegiance as well. The nine member team form a Covenant and set off, unaware of the potential Enemy Within their ranks.
They travel for a long time- at least half A Hundred Days- and after an attempt to cross a mountain which almost leaves them all Frozen, they decide to take a perilous venture Beneath the Surface where Jack notices that they are being pursued by someone- or some THING. Kawalsky fell prey to The Curse of the Sarc. He had it for many years before losing it to Hammond and has been tracking Jack in hopes of regaining his Precious.
Inside the mountain they find a Lost City of Jaffa which has fallen into disrepair. The inhabitants, whose Bloodlines match Teal'c's, are all dead. He is in mourning for them when the Reetou attack, attempting to Divide & Conquer the team. Daniel leads them to safety but takes One False Step in a battle against a hideous Entity known as a Replicator and it isn't long before he has soon Fallen into an Abyss. His Descent is thought to be fatal.
The loss of Daniel staggers the team, making them feel as if they have been Forsaken. It is a sad and weary bunch that make their way into the forests of the Egghead Anise who lives in a Paradise Lost amid the trees. Although she is hard to read at times- an Enigma- she provides rest and comfort to the team (though not all share that Point of View and remain wary of her Maternal Instinct). The visions in her magical Smoke and Mirrors provide a Prophecy of sorts and she takes Jack aside, telling him that he must finish the journey he started or risk starting a Chain Reaction that will doom their whole world.
The team travels down the river for many days, finally arriving at a Crossroads: should they continue on to Netu, or side-track to Maybourne's kingdom? There is a Fallout among the teammates. Maybourne corners Jack, attempting to convince him to help the people of his (Maybourne's) Birthright by arguing Politics. When that fails, he tries to steal the Sarc, but Jack manages to gain a Foothold and escape.
A band of Demons known as NID agents attack. Maybourne sees The Light and in a final act of Redemption, sacrifices himself in order to try and save Major Davis & Lieutenant Grogan. He dies heroically in his Last Stand, but unfortunately he does so a few minutes too soon and Major D and Grogan become Fair Game for the NID.
Unaware of his friends peril, Jack sees the attack as a Window of Opportunity and takes off, trying to reach the New Ground on the Other Side of the river. However, Jonas sees him, and Jack is forced to rescue his friend from the river. The two of them, the First Ones to begin the quest, continue on their way past the Point of No Return and deep into the Serpent's Lair of Anubis.
The movie will be the conclusion. Jack and Jonas are forced to team up with Kawalsky while the Other Guys from the team find danger and adventure on their own- including an encounter with The Nox, who are on a quest of their own. Great battles will be waged, a surprising Resurrection will occur and many Secrets revealed before their final Homecoming, but the Spirits of the intrepid Heroes shall see them through until they come Full Circle to their Emancipation.
I haven't won, YET. Like you, I've never won anything. Although you should have. Your Food Server Diaries is the 
Uh, oh. Now I have to outdo myself! I'd better make sure I don't do a "Season 7"!
Of course, it's an honor just to be nominated, right? 
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