For those who don't want to wait an entire week or watch it now, but wish to have spoilers, here's a summary on speed:
* The algorithms Rodney created while Close-to-Ascension make String Theory look like Non-Linear Dynamics
* As expected, they're going to use Quasi-RepliWeir to help infiltrate Asuras
* John leaves Teyla behind in case the heist fails and they all die. Teyla is to assume leadership of Atlantis and order an emergency jump into Hyperspace. With insufficient power, they won't be able to land, so they'll have to evacuate to the planet by ship and abandon the city
* Sam and Dr. Lee gate into the planet closests to Apollo and get beamed aboard
* SGA-1 minus Teyla plus Elizabeth successfully make a hyperspace jump with a jumper to the Asuran homeworld
* Jumper cloaks
* Rodney activates the link between Liz and the Asuran collective. Elizabeth gets Matrix-vision (only blue). Numbers flying around everywhere and also blue-prints of Asuras. She can see every corridor, every room, etc.
* Elizabeth points to where the ZPM can be found
* Jumper lands on unusually flat rooftop. Ronon and John leave to steal the ZPM
* Elizabeth leads them
* John calls Ronon "Chewie"
* ZPM gets stolen. Running
* Rodney goes over the Asurans' basecode. Rodney finds a command code to direct them to attack the Wraith, though it's been deactivated
* Problems: They'll know they're there and assimilate Elizabeth. Elizabeth says "Do it!" John says "Hell no!"
* Rodney wants to go to the command core (backup harddrive) and direct the reprogramming code directly into it. It's at the center of the city, though
* Cloak gets turned into anti-Replicatorfield
* John wants to leave Elizabeth and Rodney behind in case they need to kill Elizabeth
* Apollo searches for Atlantis. 11 jumps...
* Jumper lands on another rooftop that looks like a landing platform
* Rodney says "Penetrate". John gets horny
* Anti-Replicator field expands. Random Asurans innocently walking along get dusted
* The core room has been encompassed. Rodney gives John a tablet with the code
* John and Ronon leave
* An "anomolous energy reading" has been detected by the Asurans. Oberoth is miffed.
* John and Ronon encounter a group of Asurans. Asurans get dusted by the shield
* They reach the core, a "big glowy thing"
* John plugs it into, Rodney thinks it's the wrong hole, Elizabeth says the Asurans are coming (100s of them). It's all very Freudian
* Asurans keep attacking the fields, sacrifcing themselves to figure out how to override it
* An Asuran gets through the field before disintegrating. "We're almost through the field"
* John needs to implement adjustment to the negotiations protocol to exploit parallelism at the device interface
* The Asurans have broken through
* Oberoth is heading to the core room. They know it's "them"
* Elizabeth runs out on Rodney
* Ronon wants Rodney to hit the kill-switch. John says "Do it"
* It doesn't work. Puppies could be behind it
* John completes the mission as they're pretty much dead meat, anyway
* Elizabeth intercepts Oberoth and mind-probes him
* Elizabeth's got complete access to the collective. She's in control now. Girl power!
* Asurans enter the core room, John ducks behind the console (yeah, as if), guns are raised, the Asurans freeze
* Ronon starts disarming them
* It's only a matter of time before Oberoth can overcome Elizabeth's hold. Elizabeth fights him. Psychological warfare begins
* The upload finishes. John and Ronon make a run for it
* Oberoth grabs Elizabeth's hand. Replicators start moving again. Two enter the Jumper and capture Rodney
* John and Ronon are captured
* Elizabeth is taken to be "prepared". The rest are put in a holding cell. Oberoth wants to "probe" them. Again with the Freudian stuff
* John, the space slut, is probed
* Probe fails. John turns into John. It was Elizabeth messing with Oberoth's mind all along!
* Oberoth forcibly extracts Elizabeth's hand from his hand, ending the probe
* John and Ronon find her. Elizabeth orders John and Ronon to go. The freezing fails, the Asurans are moving again, shooting at them
* They reach the jumper and flee
* A cloaked Asuran warship appears before them
* The Apollo appears and starts shooting at it, it responds the fire
* Ellis hails them
* They can't pick up Elizabeth's locator beacon to beam her up
* Jumper enters F-302-bay. Apollo enters Hyperspace
* Atlantis - full shields
* They choose a nice planet they'd never considered to fool the Asurans that will probe Elizabeth's mind. Perfect environment except for the large venomous snake-like creatures that inhabit the mainland
* Dr. Lee splits hairs and semantics
* They're coming in too steep on entering the planet's atmosphere
* Everything shakes
* They're coming over the ocean. Rodney wants to take her down gently, like a leaf kissing the surface of a pond.
* City lands
* Big tidal waves
* Rodney thinks John sucks at kissing. Again, Freudian Slashiness
* Everything looks good. Plenty of power in the ZPM
* Teyla picks up a picture of Elizabeth's dog. She's packing her things up
* Ronon enters Elizabeth's office and wonders who's going to replace her
* City gets reonnected to the Inter-Galactic bridge
* Sam has been promoted to full-blown Colonel
* Landry wants Sam and Lee back for a debriefing
* The algorithms Rodney created while Close-to-Ascension make String Theory look like Non-Linear Dynamics
* As expected, they're going to use Quasi-RepliWeir to help infiltrate Asuras
* John leaves Teyla behind in case the heist fails and they all die. Teyla is to assume leadership of Atlantis and order an emergency jump into Hyperspace. With insufficient power, they won't be able to land, so they'll have to evacuate to the planet by ship and abandon the city
* Sam and Dr. Lee gate into the planet closests to Apollo and get beamed aboard
* SGA-1 minus Teyla plus Elizabeth successfully make a hyperspace jump with a jumper to the Asuran homeworld
* Jumper cloaks
* Rodney activates the link between Liz and the Asuran collective. Elizabeth gets Matrix-vision (only blue). Numbers flying around everywhere and also blue-prints of Asuras. She can see every corridor, every room, etc.
* Elizabeth points to where the ZPM can be found
* Jumper lands on unusually flat rooftop. Ronon and John leave to steal the ZPM
* Elizabeth leads them
* John calls Ronon "Chewie"
* ZPM gets stolen. Running
* Rodney goes over the Asurans' basecode. Rodney finds a command code to direct them to attack the Wraith, though it's been deactivated
* Problems: They'll know they're there and assimilate Elizabeth. Elizabeth says "Do it!" John says "Hell no!"
* Rodney wants to go to the command core (backup harddrive) and direct the reprogramming code directly into it. It's at the center of the city, though
* Cloak gets turned into anti-Replicatorfield
* John wants to leave Elizabeth and Rodney behind in case they need to kill Elizabeth
* Apollo searches for Atlantis. 11 jumps...
* Jumper lands on another rooftop that looks like a landing platform
* Rodney says "Penetrate". John gets horny
* Anti-Replicator field expands. Random Asurans innocently walking along get dusted
* The core room has been encompassed. Rodney gives John a tablet with the code
* John and Ronon leave
* An "anomolous energy reading" has been detected by the Asurans. Oberoth is miffed.
* John and Ronon encounter a group of Asurans. Asurans get dusted by the shield
* They reach the core, a "big glowy thing"
* John plugs it into, Rodney thinks it's the wrong hole, Elizabeth says the Asurans are coming (100s of them). It's all very Freudian
* Asurans keep attacking the fields, sacrifcing themselves to figure out how to override it
* An Asuran gets through the field before disintegrating. "We're almost through the field"
* John needs to implement adjustment to the negotiations protocol to exploit parallelism at the device interface
* The Asurans have broken through
* Oberoth is heading to the core room. They know it's "them"
* Elizabeth runs out on Rodney
* Ronon wants Rodney to hit the kill-switch. John says "Do it"
* It doesn't work. Puppies could be behind it
* John completes the mission as they're pretty much dead meat, anyway
* Elizabeth intercepts Oberoth and mind-probes him
* Elizabeth's got complete access to the collective. She's in control now. Girl power!
* Asurans enter the core room, John ducks behind the console (yeah, as if), guns are raised, the Asurans freeze
* Ronon starts disarming them
* It's only a matter of time before Oberoth can overcome Elizabeth's hold. Elizabeth fights him. Psychological warfare begins
* The upload finishes. John and Ronon make a run for it
* Oberoth grabs Elizabeth's hand. Replicators start moving again. Two enter the Jumper and capture Rodney
* John and Ronon are captured
* Elizabeth is taken to be "prepared". The rest are put in a holding cell. Oberoth wants to "probe" them. Again with the Freudian stuff
* John, the space slut, is probed
* Probe fails. John turns into John. It was Elizabeth messing with Oberoth's mind all along!
* Oberoth forcibly extracts Elizabeth's hand from his hand, ending the probe
* John and Ronon find her. Elizabeth orders John and Ronon to go. The freezing fails, the Asurans are moving again, shooting at them
* They reach the jumper and flee
* A cloaked Asuran warship appears before them
* The Apollo appears and starts shooting at it, it responds the fire
* Ellis hails them
* They can't pick up Elizabeth's locator beacon to beam her up
* Jumper enters F-302-bay. Apollo enters Hyperspace
* Atlantis - full shields
* They choose a nice planet they'd never considered to fool the Asurans that will probe Elizabeth's mind. Perfect environment except for the large venomous snake-like creatures that inhabit the mainland
* Dr. Lee splits hairs and semantics
* They're coming in too steep on entering the planet's atmosphere
* Everything shakes
* They're coming over the ocean. Rodney wants to take her down gently, like a leaf kissing the surface of a pond.
* City lands
* Big tidal waves
* Rodney thinks John sucks at kissing. Again, Freudian Slashiness
* Everything looks good. Plenty of power in the ZPM
* Teyla picks up a picture of Elizabeth's dog. She's packing her things up
* Ronon enters Elizabeth's office and wonders who's going to replace her
* City gets reonnected to the Inter-Galactic bridge
* Sam has been promoted to full-blown Colonel
* Landry wants Sam and Lee back for a debriefing
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