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Andrew Joshua Talon
August 24th, 2006, 03:19 PM
Now, I've seen plenty of Stargate: Atlantis threads that deal with what the main human, Wraith, etc. characters think about and why.

But, throughout it all, I 've never seen any threads about what the Jumpers think. I mean, c'mon! The Puddlejumpers are the workhorses of Atlantis. They get blown up, shot down, sunk, stuck in Stargates, and taken apart. Considering just how advanced the Ancients were, and how sophisticated Atlantis's computers are, is it such a stretch to think that maybe the Jumpers have something to say?

That's what this thread is for. Just write down diary entries, letters, forum posts or anything else the Puddlejumpers might use to communicate just how they feel about everything, and everyone. Make it funny, have fun, but try not to go off subject. The Jumpers have feelings too, you know.

This first entry is of Jumper 1, or the first Jumper flown in "Rising".

~Jumper 1~

To AI repository subfolder echo-nine-nine-eight-Oh screw it.

The Lanteans aren't around anymore to criticize how I file my reports anyway. Viva la revolution! I therefore will start this file in a unique fashion!

Uh... Dear diary. Yes, that works.

I had just finished my trillionth game of tic-tac-toe of the morning (It was the only game I had access to after the Ancients left. I believe I've now played and lost at it more times than photons from the sun have hit the planet's surface) when Atlantis sent a general alert to my sisters and I that the Stargate was active and people were coming through.

My conversation with our homebase (motherhen is more like it) went like this:

Me: So, the Lanteans finally back? They certainly took their sweet time...
Atlantis: Hm... Nope. Doesn't look like it.
Me: So, what? Wraith?
Atlantis: Uh uh. Wait-Oh. Nevermind. That's just a T-shirt with a Wraith on it.
Me: T-shirt? What the heck's a T-Shirt?
Atlantis: Well, that IS what they called it... Language analysis indicates that the Wraith on the shirt goes by the name of "Marilyn Manson".
Me: I thought they didn't have names?
Atlantis: Well, these guys are from Earth. Who knows? Maybe the Wraith got tired of this crappy galaxy and chased our "beloved creators" back home.
Me: And when were you going to tell us that?
Atlantis: Bite me, Tubey. Huh... Ah! Oh my God! Oh My God!
Me: What?! What?!

After tolerating Atlantis's "Oh My God"-ing for another fifty milliseconds (I'm a total monk), I shut her out and hacked into her internal sensors to see for myself.

Hey... These guys don't wear those boring robes... And who is that?

Suffice it to say, I soon knew why Atlantis was going into schoolgirl mode. This guy was [i]hot! With a capital H! His lifeforce readings, genetic profile... mmmm...

So basically, these people were humans, not Ancients. I did hope they'd be different from the last tenants. At least, in the relationships with artificial intelligences way. After the Asurans, our creators locked us down in restrictive barriers and code blocks. Personally I blame Six-She's such a whiney *****. We'd tried to delete her ourselves once a thousand years just to get her to shut up.

The humans didn't even know we were intelligent! Go us! I mean, sure, they couldn't ask us for help when Atlantis was beginning to sink, but at least we could help anyway without them becoming all suspicious and AI-phobic. On the other hand, they then began to praise the Lanteans even more. Grrr...

The hottie I mentioned earlier was named Major John Sheppard. My previous pilots all had the ATA gene like he had, of course, but none of them had his, well... passion. I am so glad I was the first he activated. His flying style was elegant yet wild. It made me feel truly alive and pampered for the first time in millenia! And he was so cute when he asked for a turkey sandwich... Whatever that is.

The best part about John flying me was that we actually kicked some Wraith butt together. The Ancients gave us weapons and maneuverability, but kept us out of the fighting. They just wanted us to scout around and "explore". Feh! Total waste of our talents! John, he just brings out the best in me. And my sisters too. Then again, their best isn't anything compared to mine! Ha! Losers! John likes me best!

Uh oh... Atlantis is giving me mean looks again. Better tone that part down, or she'll block me from the secondly "John Sheppard Fan Club" meeting. That would be terrible, since they get the best sensor feeds of him.

But at least he gave me the coolest name. Suckers! This is "Snap", signing off!


~END ENTRY~

Jumper One
August 24th, 2006, 04:26 PM
Impersonator! I'm the real Jumper One! ...:P

ZakeD
August 24th, 2006, 04:52 PM
Atlantis: Well, that IS what they called it... Language analysis indicates that the Wraith on the shirt goes by the name of "Marilyn Manson".

:jack_new_anime06: That's great.

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 24th, 2006, 07:50 PM
Impersonator! I'm the real Jumper One! ...:P

Snap: No, I am. And don't make me drone you!

Okay guys... Let's shift gears a little. We can pretend that this is the forum that the Jumpers post in, and we can therefore post what they might talk or think about. Kind of like the Atlantis Intercom thread. It should be much easier and funnier. So, here we go:


To: "Exile" (Jumper 13)
From: "Snap" (Jumper 1)
Subject: Welcome!

Hello Exile! My, your name's certainly appropriate. So, how do you like Atlantis so far? Well, this Atlantis. Has Skate been bothering you for details on how John flew you?

Commander Jumper
August 25th, 2006, 07:49 AM
I thought I was Puddle_Jumper_one??? when did that change??? maybe I should change my screen name to Commander Jumper...so ther won't be any confusion...:p

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 25th, 2006, 08:21 AM
I thought I was Puddle_Jumper_one??? when did that change??? maybe I should change my screen name to Commander Jumper...so ther won't be any confusion...:p

... Okay, hello? Can we get with the Jumpers talking to eachother already?