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Locutus_Of_Borg
July 31st, 2006, 11:37 PM
Well you remember the good old days of continue the story as random as it is as long as its appropriate, the old 8 page ones from 05. So keep going and put in your own script from Stargate, show your true writing skills.

So lets start

SG-1 were walking through a forest and found an active Stargate, they walked through and found...

PegasusPrincess
August 1st, 2006, 12:10 AM
....that it was the Stargate they had walked through in the first place as they'd been walking around in a big, fat circle.
They knew it had not been active when they walked away from it and when they turned around they found that they were surrounded by......

Nolamom
August 1st, 2006, 12:11 AM
You might ask a mod to move this to Fun and Games for you.

StargateSister
August 1st, 2006, 12:16 AM
.... Anubis and his guard. They opened fire but it proved un-useful. Teal'c fires his staff and Daniel and Sam zat Anubis's guards. SG-1 is standing prepared to fight, but suddenly.....:bow:


Check out my new thread, Just for fun, in the General Stargate Discussion section.

PegasusPrincess
August 1st, 2006, 05:04 AM
they realise Mitchell is missing and they realise that Teal'c's last shot from his staff weapon went straight through Anubis - it's a holographic projection!
They hear Anubis' low, evil chuckle and he......

Clinux
August 1st, 2006, 01:17 PM
Sends 2 Kull Warriors from his mothership hovering above the planet, the Kull Warriors begin to battle with SG-1 and then...

Admiral Mappalazarou
August 1st, 2006, 01:19 PM
Each member of the team gets shot in the foot, so zombie Janet Fraser turns up and...

Clinux
August 1st, 2006, 01:34 PM
O'neil wakes up looks around to find out that it was just a bad dream. Daniel walks into Jack's quarters and tells him he has found something amazing in a book he has been reading about Greek Mythology, just as Jack gets up the gate alarm sounds and "unscheduled off world activity" is heard over the loud speaker, Sg-1 rushes to the gate room and ...

LORD MONK
August 1st, 2006, 01:38 PM
It's Baal. One of his clones dyed his hair blonde and is hiding on the beaches of a place called sunny California. The last thing he said was something about getting some hot babes and.......................

gatebuster64
August 1st, 2006, 01:50 PM
booze, they go to calfornia but instead of a baal clone they find...

Dutch_Razor
August 1st, 2006, 01:55 PM
Maybourne! They ask him how he got there and...

LORD MONK
August 1st, 2006, 01:55 PM
booze, they go to calfornia but instead of a baal clone they find...
They find Replicartor living it up and not wanting to replicate anymore. Just wants to...................

Admiral Mappalazarou
August 1st, 2006, 02:04 PM
...create life the good old fashoined way?

Elles
August 1st, 2006, 03:19 PM
Which greatly disturbs SG-1 to the point of madness. They find themselves regaining their sanity in a mental asylum somewhere in China singing and dancing to the music of...

LORD MONK
August 1st, 2006, 03:46 PM
Pop Goes the Weasle............

Admiral Mappalazarou
August 1st, 2006, 03:58 PM
The prime GP at the asylum turns out to be a Goa'uld and tortures SG-1 in horrific ways with a pogo stick....

That is until Mecha - Vala breaks in in order to break them out!

PegasusPrincess
August 1st, 2006, 05:08 PM
but is hit in the head my the cross eyed, sniffling man playing chess and.....

Locutus_Of_Borg
August 1st, 2006, 10:03 PM
reading a book on "Chess for oned eyed coots", they break out, fall through a whole and find...

Arturis
August 1st, 2006, 11:39 PM
McKay secretly downloading porn while eating lemon merangue pie...

Lt. Colonel Ryu Gaia
August 1st, 2006, 11:53 PM
"I SWEAR THAT'S DOCTORED!" shouted Carter as she gazed upon the screen on which Mckay's dreams were too evidently visible, and Danile shielded his eyes in horror. No, NO... It couldn't be...

A wedding picture of Mckay and Sam?

PegasusPrincess
August 2nd, 2006, 02:44 AM
Everyone looked at Sam - she was still in the ugly wedding dress & McKay was grinning maniacally. At the sight of Sam in the white dress, Daniel started vomiting uncontrollably.....

Dutch_Razor
August 2nd, 2006, 05:09 AM
all over Mckay and..

gatebuster64
August 2nd, 2006, 06:48 AM
he was forever mentally scarred

Admiral Mappalazarou
August 2nd, 2006, 10:53 AM
Then SG-1 is suddenly beamed away onto an Asgard ship belonging to the evil Asgard; King Ramesis NickleBerry the Third, who puts them in a cell and jumps his ship into hyperspace....

PegasusPrincess
August 2nd, 2006, 07:43 PM
...however Thor's ship appears behind the ship, in hot pursuit.......

Elles
August 2nd, 2006, 08:58 PM
But, unbeknowest of Thor, mutated evil Watermelons had snuck aboard his ship and began causing wires to short circuit by exposing them to their super-conductive juice. Thor's ship then...

LORD MONK
August 2nd, 2006, 09:25 PM
fixs its self as Thor takes a page out of Jacks book and grabs a shut gun and blows the crap everything.

Now as he kicks back eating watermelon he beams SG-1 aboard and............................

PegasusPrincess
August 2nd, 2006, 09:53 PM
shoots at King Ramesis NickleBerry the Third's ship with a overgrown watermelon seed he's conveted into a missile weapon.
As the ship blows into a million pieces, the force of the shockwave causes Jack to slip on watermelon juice and.....

Morgasshk
August 2nd, 2006, 09:58 PM
and falls on top of the for some reason naked sam... thereby ensues an uncomfortable silence... Thor beams jack off sam to better have a good look at "human anatomy". Blaring alarms go off all over the ship! They have been pulled out of hyperspace by an Imperial Interdictor cruiser! Thor is confused, he turns to Jack and says....

PegasusPrincess
August 2nd, 2006, 10:50 PM
"What do you suggest O'Neill?" Jack says "For cyrying out loud Thor, can't you.....

Morgasshk
August 2nd, 2006, 10:59 PM
just make some decisions for yourself? You know, you claim to be a more advanced race and we don't dispute that! but jeus1 If I keep having to help you out and tell you what to do then we expect full disclosure, we want the beaming, weapons, shields, the WHOLE lot, this way we will be better prepared to save you little gray butts AGAIN. Ok, tirade over, get that small asteroid between us and the tractor beam, see if we can't shake....

PegasusPrincess
August 3rd, 2006, 07:28 AM
the hell out of the Imperial Interdictor cruiser when we break free.....c'mon, move that grey butt fast, cause after that we can....

Deano
August 3rd, 2006, 07:35 AM
Sit about and eat lots of watermelon

Clinux
August 3rd, 2006, 08:36 AM
until then work on getting us out of here. Daniel walks in and says everybody there is somebody I would like you to meet, pointing to a man dressed in all black. Daniel saying "I thought he was a Kull Warrior, but he said his name was Darth something or other, I found him wandering around the ship telling everyone he was their father. Just then as if on que the stranger says "Jack I am your father". O'neil to Daniel "What?" Daniel to O'neil "What?" Then T'ealc ...

Deano
August 3rd, 2006, 08:42 AM
said "what" then carter said

Admiral Mappalazarou
August 3rd, 2006, 11:38 AM
'I wonder what Orlin's doing right now...' The team go silent, and then Teal'c looks at Daniel - 'Y'know, he's not really your father, he's just under alot of stress lately.' Daniel nods.
Jack turns around and shoots Thor in the face before they are beamed away again - they reappear on Atlantis. Dr Weir looks at them and says.....

Deano
August 3rd, 2006, 11:40 AM
How the hell did You do that, then the gate opens and

Admiral Mappalazarou
August 3rd, 2006, 11:49 AM
An ascended-replicator-Ori-Goa'uld-Wraith steps through the Atlantis iris using Tollan technology and begins to open fire, many people are killed in the control room as Daleks come through behind it screaming 'EX-TERMINATE! EX-TER-MINATE!!!!!!'

:jack: Aren't they?
:sam: Yes sir - They're Daleks!
:tealc: That's impossible, I know their ships - they were DESTROYED!
:daniel: Obviously they survived.....

Doctor Weir is shot by the ascended-replicator-Ori-Goa'uld-Waith who appears to controlled by the Daleks. SG-1 lock themselves in Weirs office......

Clinux
August 3rd, 2006, 11:51 AM
Thor steps through the gate, Oneil has a troubled look on his face. Thor approached Oneil and scorns him saying it not polite to shoot the "Supreme Commander" in the face. Thor then turns to Weir and asks if she has any catfish bait, because he is starving. Then Mckay comes running into the room saying ...

Admiral Mappalazarou
August 3rd, 2006, 11:55 AM
'Jesus - Are those Daleks?'

LORD MONK
August 3rd, 2006, 02:39 PM
Ford replies, "yes they are" (because ford is in this story) Just tell them they are cute and give them some icecream and a hug and they should stop trying to kill everyone. Damn mothers not hugging there children will destroy the universe.

The Jack catchs Thor making out with Carter and says.............

Morgasshk
August 3rd, 2006, 02:48 PM
kinda moving into my turf there Thor Buddy... I think you will have to name another ship after me for that... and to top it off, clone me a "willing" carter for fun. and on my new ship, make sure it has all 16 seasons of simpsons ready to play on the....

Admiral Mappalazarou
August 3rd, 2006, 04:40 PM
.....Camel.

Weeks pass, and Jack and his naked cloned Sam are watchin The Simpsons Tree house of horror XI on the starship 'THE O'NEILL 2' when suddenly the ship is thrown out of hyperspace and the power goes off.

Slowly systems come back online and on the viewscreen a very fat middle-aged old man appears.

'My Name is God....And I will have You.....'

Naked Sam and Jack watch in horror as this being slowly licks his lips in anticipation before them.

Locutus_Of_Borg
August 3rd, 2006, 05:09 PM
God says "Give me your ship and you MIGHT be spared", they surrender the ship and God transports abourd about to kill them, Jack says "theres only one thing that can save us now!", Cloned naked sam says "WHAT?" and Jack says to God "Want some cake or pie" god replied "ooo yes please" and they were filled with joy, they finished eating and.....

Morgasshk
August 3rd, 2006, 05:11 PM
Mwuahaha! Just Kidding guys!

Kumtraya! Kumtraya, I will make you BETTER!

Had you going there didn't I?

jack says: Ummm, what the hell? you again! what do you....

CHEL NAK GUY
August 3rd, 2006, 05:27 PM
.... want you psychotic toaster, This carters mine go find your own! your not stripping me or carter nak... oh wait, well your not freakin making me a walking battery." "Kumtraya " no go coom-by-yah, by yourself, i'm supposed to be visiting ......

LORD MONK
August 3rd, 2006, 05:36 PM
Someone that cares.

Then Sam walks in and sees a bunch of cloned Naked Sams and say, "Cheesh guys, you are all worse then Norim. Where's mine.........

Admiral Mappalazarou
August 3rd, 2006, 05:37 PM
....Aunty Jessica in jail. So get the hell outta my face.

Suddenly and inexplicably, Buffy the Vampire Slayer is beamed aboard...

Morgasshk
August 3rd, 2006, 05:39 PM
jack walks in and says, hey, give new meaning to when you get told to "go fudge yourself" don't it? haha

where the hell did that....

Admiral Mappalazarou
August 3rd, 2006, 05:44 PM
Before he could finish his sentence he ascends and appears in the acsended diner that featured in 'Threads'.

The Acsended ancients look up at him from their tables astounded.

'Wow' Jack says 'You guys look....

Morgasshk
August 3rd, 2006, 07:27 PM
kinda retarded, and fat from just sitting here and eating all the time, howzabout you come give us a hand sometime? We ARE fighting YOUR enemies after all... Oma loads up the bunch of old geezers with bazooka's and P90's that miraculously appear with a flick of her wrist, she also fills up their canteens with....

PegasusPrincess
August 3rd, 2006, 10:52 PM
...beer, and says "Those who light the flame of beer worship, will undo the power of the Ori. Go forth ascended soldier beings and...."

Admiral Mappalazarou
August 4th, 2006, 02:41 PM
'...And destroy ALL UNBELEIVERS! Hallowed are the Ancients.'

:jack: Exactly, thats exactly - wait! What!?

Jack is beamed away from the canteen and appears back on the starship 'O'neill 2' along with the rest of SG-1 (Including Col. Mitchell and Vala for some reason) . The ship orbits an Ori Supergate as it charges up and prepares to open.

Jack holds his shotgun before him in anticipation as the rest of the members of the SGC appear on the bridge with weapons of their own.

:jack: Alright, Guys. You know the score - We're fighting both Ancient and Ori, let's go forth and kick some ascended ass.
:tealc: Indeed (he swings his axe coolly)
:vala: All for one, one for all - right? (spins her ninja swords coolly)
:cameron: Alright! (loads his machine guns)

Locutus_Of_Borg
August 6th, 2006, 02:59 AM
So they hastily rushed to the upcoming battle and on the way they found a huge pile of...

Admiral Mappalazarou
August 6th, 2006, 08:09 AM
Dead Pengiuns surrounded by fish.

:jack: I have no idea how these got here.

Daryl Froggy
August 6th, 2006, 08:13 AM
Suddenly the fish jump up revealing themselves to be Goa'uld. The Goa'ulded fish then say...

Admiral Mappalazarou
August 6th, 2006, 08:24 AM
....nothing coz they're fish. But one of them jumps in Vala.

Her eyes glow and she points the gun on her fellow team mates and speaks in an insanely deep voice.

:vala: I am Katesh, your one TRUE god! Bow before the power of my new race of Goa'uld!
:cameron: Oh boy...

The Goa'uld fish leap up and begin to take hosts amongst the members of the SGC. SG-1 luckliy manage to fit inside an escape pod as the Supergate opens and Ori Warships fly through.....

Morgasshk
August 6th, 2006, 04:20 PM
the ring of uranus!

SG1 look at each... their eyes glow...

jack says....

Admiral Mappalazarou
August 12th, 2006, 09:29 AM
'Great Scott!'

:sam: Sir, what's wrong?!?
:jack: It's our kids, Sam - Something's gotta be done about our kids!

Together Jack and Sam leap into the delorian and travel back in time to...

RedGuard
August 12th, 2006, 09:44 AM
...1969, realizing they have gone too far into the past,:jack: and :sam: try to go back into the future but Mr. Fusion is out of fuel. Knowing they need to leave 1969 so they don't run into themselves, :sam: realizes she needs naquadah to make Mr. Fusion work again...

But where will :sam: get it?

Admiral Mappalazarou
August 12th, 2006, 03:04 PM
......They are beamed on board Apophis's disco ship parked in orbit and are brought before the system lord - his afro hovering over his army of jaffa.

He says.....

PegasusPrincess
August 12th, 2006, 11:14 PM
"If you would like to be stayin' alive, stayin alive, ha, ha, ha, ha, stayin alive, you will tell me where the traitor Teal'c is...."
:jack: "Cut that affro princess, you can't even see that....."

Admiral Mappalazarou
August 13th, 2006, 06:58 PM
...chuownky face of urs...'

Apophis stands up and reaches for his shotgun.

'THIS IS MY BOOMSTICK' - He yell, and fires on SG-1....

PegasusPrincess
August 16th, 2006, 12:17 AM
but before the shot hits them, SG1 are beamed off the ship into a smelly, slug infested swamp.
As they try and get to the shore of the swamp, Sam looks up and sees a short, green biped, hobbling toward them with the aid of a walking stick.
"Hmmm" he says. "Not those who I be seeking are you?"
Daniel approaches the stranger and says "What are you......"

Locutus_Of_Borg
October 7th, 2006, 05:12 AM
I AM THODA (mix of yoda and thor lol if you didnt get it)
he lifts them out and introduces them to Captain Kains B. Girk
Girk suddenly shouts out
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN
(echoes out)
KHAAAAAAAAN

http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e295/Locutus1701/khan.jpg

he suddenly said the reason he said that was because.........