Oh My God, They Killed Daniel!

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Finally! Atlantis, here I come! (stepping off the Odyssey onto the dock)
Welcome to Atlantis, Dr. Jackson! It's about time you got here.
Yeah, well, you can blame a certain someone for that...
(whistles innocently)
So, what's first on the agenda?
Well, we'd like you to look at this Ancient hologram...

(LATER...)

Hey, I know you're listening! You pansies! You hypocritical do-nothings! This is as much your war as ours! Cowards! You built this stupid cityship, and left Morrigan here! Surely you can take responsibility for-!
(Daniel is zapped by a lightening bolt. He falls over, as several drones fly up, lift him away into the sky, and explode)
Oh My God, Atlantis killed Daniel!
Atlantis: (sniff) *******! He shouldn't have insulted me...

[Elles]

*Daniel leaps off tall building*
Carter: Look Daniel's flying!
Jack: YAY!!!
McKay: *pops out of nowhere* Fly Daniel... Fly!
*splat*
Teal'c: It was magical while it lasted, Daniel Jackson.
Carter: Oh my God! The Earth's gravity killed Daniel!
Jack: You *******!

[Commander Jumper]

*Daniel leaps off tall building*
Carter: Look Daniel's flying!
Jack: YAY!!!
McKay: *pops out of nowhere* Fly Daniel... Fly!
*splat*
Teal'c: It was magical while it lasted, Daniel Jackson.
Carter: Oh my God! The Earth's gravity killed Daniel!
Jack: You *******!

*Giggle*

you guys wann watch me swim????
: here we go again
: what????
: Daniel each time you have free time you do something stoopid and die
: not true
: They're right Daniel dear
*Releases duck*
*Duck nocks Danny in pool and he drowns*
* Ascended*
: they're right
: O my God!!! Camerons Duck Killed Kenny-I mean Daniel
: that B*st*rd Duck!!!!!

[Elles]

O'Neill: How many times have you died by the hand of a duck now?
Daniel: I don't know... must've been x amount of times.
O'Neill: Ha! I've been killed by the hand of a duck x+1 amount of times!
*duck kills Daniel*
O'Neill: Fine... now we're even...
Carter: Oh my God! That duck killed Daniel!
Teal'c: You ******!

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Hey! Why is it whenever I DIE, you guys don't do that... You know... That thing!
What thing, sir?
I do not understand what you are referring to, O'Neill.
Oh c'mon! You know... that... Uh... (shoots Daniel, who was minding his own business)
GACK!
Oh my Gods, you killed Daniel O'Neill!
You *******! ... Sir!
See? Now, watch this... (shoots himself)
Oh my Gods, O'Neill killed himself!
Um... He's a *******?

[Commander Jumper]

man this thread just keeps getting better

: guys I've started to come to work with out clothes
: EWWWWW
*through radio transmission via iris* Ewwwwwww
: it burns!!!!!! please Hammond for the love of ducks put on some cover willl ya!!!!
: some one say Ducks??? *Releases Howie, his Duck*
*Howie jumps on Daniel's head*
Walter: incoming travelers Sir!!!
*Daniel,whilw attempting to remove the duck wanders to close to the activating Stargate* *KAWOOOOSH*
: x_x
: oh my god!!!! that duck is sooo sexy!!!!
: and it and the kawoosh killed Daniel!
: Kawoosh?
: yeah
: that Sexy Duck B*st*rd........

[Lokii]

Daniel: So any word from the Joint Chiefs about your request

(As he is speaking Daniel takes the last blue jello)

Sam: No, not yet, hey that was the last blue jello

Daniel: I am sure they will bring out more

Sam: First you butt in line, and now you take my blue jello!

Daniel: relax same there are other colors

Sam: THAT WAS THE LAST BLUE JELLO, GIVE IT TO ME!

Daniel: Ah, no sorry…

(Daniel walks over and puts his tray down at a table and starts to sit, Sam grabs him pushes him down and impales him with the legs of a chair. )

Hammond: Major Carter you killed Daniel… you …..

O’Neill (Interrupting Hammond): But sir he took the last blue jello for cryin out loud.

Hammond: That evil b******. Guess he had it coming…

[Commander Jumper]

I'll never get tired of this

*all the team is at O'Neill's house for team night*
: let team night begin.....
: Shall I put Starwars in the Dvd General?
: indeed Teal'c
: hey guys I brought Howie!!! *Releases duck*
*standing by O'Neill's big screen* Crap
*Howie knocks big screen over on Danny*
: oh my god!!! after all these hours since the kawoosh incedent...that duck is still sexy
: and it killed Daniel
: that T.V. B*st*ard....and that rotten Duck too!!!

[Col. Shadow Quinn]

i have just become a prior guys!!
.........
.........
oh god i love you daniel jackson
so whensyou wedding....
now!!!!
.....your nuts man!!!! cheater!!!!!
*shoots daniel and teal'C in the head killing them both*
OMFG YOU KILLED DANIEL AND TEAL'C
good
no we can have our gay wedding in hell were no one cares
ahhh the agony the pain i'm dyinging it's so gay in here
daniel and teal'C: but your already dead
does not matter ...... damn it!!!!
luke i am your father oops wrong tv series

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Man, this is just getting weird...
I do believe that was the point, Daniel Jackson.
What exactly is a duck, anyway?
To the zoo!

(LATER, AT THE DENVER ZOO...)

(putting on sunscreen) Uh, Cameron? This isn't the aviary.
Er, oops... (checks a map) Damn, they shuffled stuff around since I was last here...
Oh! Are these ducks, then? (indicates a flock of peacocks, which roam the zoo freely)
No, those are peacocks... (breaks off a piece of bread and tosses it to the peacocks)
Peacocks: (surge as one and knock Daniel over, before beginning to devour him)
AUGH! NO! OWWWW! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! NOOOO!
(Sam's cellphone rings. She answers.)
Hello? Sir?
Did they kill Daniel?
Yes sir, they killed Daniel.
Those *******s.

[Planetary_Alliance]

You all are going to kill me from laughing
so you know what to do
:yep let daniel die
: what was that
:time to go
dismised
*after they go through the stargate*
Duck: quack
* hides behind *
: its ok *pets duck
*they all go to the town*(daniel walking in the middle)
*kull warior shows up*
*everyone moves but daniel who gets shot*
*everyone shrugs*
* kill warior*
*then at scheduled check in*
: everything normal
:yep daniel died withing 5 minutes of us getting here
: ok cary on

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

(At a cemetary, in front of Daniel's tombstone)

Jack: ... Carter? This really nessecary? I mean, seriously, he's just going to come back.
Sam: I don't know, sir. This one seemed pretty permanent...
Jack: Oh c'mon! This is DANIEL we're talking about!
Daniel: (walks up) Oh, hey everyone! ... What are we all doing here?
Jack: See?
Daniel: See what? What were you-? (falls into the open grave. A Deathglider crashes on top of him)
Jack: ... (turns to Teal'c) You wanna say it, or should I?
Vala: Oh my God, they killed Daniel! (everyone looks at her) ... What? Aren't you going to say the next part?

[Mickey23]

OMG guys! This is great!
I will definitely try to come up with something, lame as it may be.
Aw, poor Daniel, dead again.

[Col. Shadow Quinn]

Come on Daniel, skydiving is fun.
Okay*jumps off without a parachute*
Okay....
Where's Daniel?
Died while skydiving, he fell into a volcano. He wasn't wearing his parachute either.
SG1: OMFG, Daniel killed himself!!!!!!!!

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Come on Daniel, skydiving is fun.
Okay*jumps off without a parachute
Okay....
Where's Daniel?
Died while skydiving, he fell into a volcano. He wasn't wearing his parachute either.
SG1: OMFG, Daniel killed himself!!!!!!!!

Vala: That *******! He was trying to get out of caring for our baby!
Dr. Lam: Mine too!
Half the female staff of the SGC: US TOO!
Jack: ... Damn! I knew Daniel was liked, but Jesus!
Teal'c: Indeed. Colonel Carter, why are you turning red?
Jack: Oh god... Not you too!
Sam: (squeak) I'm sorry sir! He's just... I was just...
Daniel: (comes back from the dead) Hey guys, what'd I... Miss...?
Jack: Ladies! Looks like Daniel faked this one.
Women: GET HIM!
Daniel: HEY! WAIT! IT'S NOT MY FAULT! THEY DRUGGED ME I SWEEAR! AAAUUUUGHHHHHH! (is torn apart)
Sam: Oh my God, they killed Daniel!
Jack: You *******s! ... Wait...