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Major Gambit
May 17th, 2006, 07:01 PM
This is my first story, tell me what you think please.

http://www.gateworld.net/fanfic/archive/48/thearrival.html

Elitenova
May 17th, 2006, 07:39 PM
I love the story, I wish you slow it down a little. There are some mistakes but it's correctable.

It's Squadron not battalion.

Darkstar
May 18th, 2006, 02:58 AM
Good start, a bit fast paced and brief but to the point and with pretty much all the key elements in there, I wonder is there going to be a Prequel or sequel follow up to this????

immhotep
May 18th, 2006, 09:29 AM
Im really iffish, i like the concept but i would have prefered if Mckay had like managed to Steal Atlantis's ZPM's and powered the Tower, and flown it to Earth just in time to stop the battle...and earth found out by the deadalus...also the Wraith could not destroy a third of the Asgard fleet...Never, the fact that our ship were alive when 1/3 of the Asgards were not is a bit odd as well...but i liked it overall, bar the little nickpicking :)

Major Gambit
May 18th, 2006, 12:17 PM
Good start, a bit fast paced and brief but to the point and with pretty much all the key elements in there, I wonder is there going to be a Prequel or sequel follow up to this????


possible

Major Gambit
May 20th, 2006, 08:01 PM
any more feedback?