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    Stargate: Avalon

    Here is the sample

    Earth
    Antarctic Outpost

    Colonel Chelsea Hayes, daughter of President Hayes and a Colonel in the Air Force, she has a doctorate in astrophysics and anthropology. Only in her twenties, she is 5'7 and a brunette. She commands a next generation BS-304, a battleship built to fight the Wraith and Ori. The name of the ship is Perseus.

    As she beams down to the outpost, marines who was standing guard at the transporter pad salutes to the senior officer and Colonel Hayes saluted back.

    The Outpost personnel were busy with inventory and deciphering ancient text from the newly discovered room under the drone weapon storage. The room has computer console and holographic monitors and the database on the computer network was very vast with information regarding towards their abandon starbase in the Na’tala Galaxy. Although nothing has been turn on yet, since the scientist who is at the outpost has the gene but they needed someone who have a special gene to turn on the entire database network..

    She went straight to the scientist who found the room and she is in charge of project. The scientist had braided her jet black hair and wearing a white over coat that hides her slim body. She turns around and adjusted her glasses revealing her blue eyes and bright smile. “Colonel or can I call you First Daughter?”

    “Colonel is fine.” Chelsea hated being called First Daughter, since joining the Air Force, she had never took advantage of her special status , even though she had secret service protecting her from afar.

    “Colonel it is.” The scientist said and then shook her hand. “Dr. Lindsey Mackenzie.”

    “Nice to meet you.” Chelsea examines the room and was amazed of the wonder, she walks to the console that was in the middle of the room and touch the console. The console lit on and she quickly took a few steps back from the console. “Wow.” her heart started to beat fast.

    Dr. Lindsey was very surprise when the Colonel touched the console. She tried to turn the damn thing on since the discovery a few days ago. Since she had the ancient gene, none of the console were be able to turn on since now. “How did you do that?” she asked her.

    “I don’t know, I guest I have the magic touch.” Chelsea tried to laugh out of her joke, but nobody seem to laugh but only a smirk were let out.

    “Stay here.” Dr, Lindsey asked her as she rushed her way out to the other scientist who was working different things in the outpost.

    “Okay.” she replied as she tried not to touch anything else as she slowly pace around the console station and behind the holographic monitors.


    Mo’goli Sanctuary
    Mo’goli religious council
    Na’tala Galaxy

    Mo’goli are the lizard like species in a galaxy 200 million light years away from Earth. They control that part of the galaxy with a religious iron hand for thousands of years after the war against the Ancients who encroached in their territory.

    The planet the religious council is on, has no breathable atmosphere Nothing can survive but the Mo’goli, which they breath methane and carbon monoxide.

    On the hill top, above the pool of magma laid a tremendous temple with gold walls and building. In the middle of the temple, the council meets in the room.

    “There’s a disturbance in the stars.” The high priest of the first order said as he summoned his loyal priest to gather on the table. The High Priest wore a fine gold linen, woven by humans slaves. He is older than the other priest, but they revered him to be the prophet of the gods.

    “What kind of disturbance, my lord.” the other asked as they look surprised among their brethren.

    The High Priest rose from his seat and stood. “The descended of the Alterans are coming. We must strike at the heart of our ancient enemy.”

    “Yes my lord,”

    “Assemble all holy warriors and warships, at my command we will crush the enemy.”


    Earth
    Antarctic Outpost

    Scientist from the military and civilians side came in the room and was at awe of the beautiful display in the room. They congratulated the President’s daughter for opening up the next adventure to discovery. Dr. Lindsey came in last with Dr. Jackson by her side. And they shook hands.

    “Colonel, did you know you have the gene?” Daniel asked, Daniel is a good friend to Henry Hayes since he’s the civilian in charge of the Archeology department in the Pentagon.

    “No, I did not.” Is all she could reply as she watch Dr. Lindsey walk up to the console and look at it.

    “Maybe we can test your father to see if he have the gene.” Dr. Lindsey said as she turns around and walk to the computer panel that was in the middle of the room. Dr. Lindsey pressed the bottom panel and the holographic monitor turn on and a woman that Dr. Jackson recognized appeared on the monitor.

    “She looks like Arianna.” Daniel said as he went close to the monitor and adjusted his glasses. Chelsea followed him and the woman on the holographic monitor began to speak.

    Everybody in the room stop what they were doing and gather around to hear what the woman was talking about.

    If you are watching this, after the return from the Pegasus Galaxy, we built a starbase inside a nebula 200 light-years away and called it Avalon 12. From there, we’ve conducted experiments and even open a faster than light portal to another galaxy called Na’tala.

    Seeding the planets with human life where there is none, but we’ve encroached on Mo’goli territory that lead to a war that never ended. Until both of the party decided not to fight anylonger, a deal was met and a treaty was sign. We have abandon the starbase and only you can put to a use for the good of human kind.

    Time is of the essence, the Mo’goli are ruthless tyrannical species that bent on conquering the whole universe. We’ve put a stop to there plan when there was a war between us. Since then, they have been building more ships and training armies to conquer the Universe.

    The messege turns off and everybody was still watching the monitor if anything was left out.
    sigpic
    The Edge of the Night; contains love from the heart and soul, outpouring love to one and love one country.

    #2
    A little odd, the writing style is different. It's an okay story, but there need to be guy characters. You're doing good work, so keep it up.

    Comment


      #3
      Thank you. When this episode is done, it will be on Fanfiction.net.
      sigpic
      The Edge of the Night; contains love from the heart and soul, outpouring love to one and love one country.

      Comment


        #4
        I'm gonna say what i've said about ever other of Elitenova's stories. It's a bad diea, stop trying to come up with things becasue none of your ideas have been original. Stop posting stop writing.

        Comment


          #5
          are you stalking me or what is your problem?
          sigpic
          The Edge of the Night; contains love from the heart and soul, outpouring love to one and love one country.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by Elitenova
            are you stalking me or what is your problem?
            ...stalking? how does that work...
            Originally posted by Esquin
            I'm gonna say what i've said about ever other of Elitenova's stories. It's a bad diea, stop trying to come up with things becasue none of your ideas have been original. Stop posting stop writing.
            ...

            Comment


              #7
              He's been on the Horizon website posting bad idea after bad idea its annoying.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by Esquin
                I'm gonna say what i've said about ever other of Elitenova's stories. It's a bad diea, stop trying to come up with things becasue none of your ideas have been original. Stop posting stop writing.
                I only have one thing to say to you. If you have nothing good to say then dont post here or any where. Elitenova has the right to post his ideas here just like everyone else.

                Comment


                  #9
                  I have written stories that are not stargate related.
                  sigpic
                  The Edge of the Night; contains love from the heart and soul, outpouring love to one and love one country.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Esquin leave the poor man (or woman) alone. Have a little respect for other people and more importantly the forum.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Whoops! Forgot to mention, I like the idea but you definetly need a few good guys in your story. I'm sure they are there and we just didn't get to see them though

                      Fan-fictions kinda scare me right now because so many of them are dealing with the Ancients and their past. It is odd to think the Ancients would have amassed so many enemies bent on universal domination in the past 100-200 million years. Kinda scary indeed!

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by AzMcNeil
                        Fan-fictions kinda scare me right now because so many of them are dealing with the Ancients and their past. It is odd to think the Ancients would have amassed so many enemies bent on universal domination in the past 100-200 million years. Kinda scary indeed!
                        Actually, Im not suprised that the ancients have that many enemies, they are the ancients after all, they're like that.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by Johnquixote
                          Actually, Im not suprised that the ancients have that many enemies, they are the ancients after all, they're like that.
                          Explain your opinion, not that anything is wrong with it I'm just slightly confused as to why you think that.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            probably what he is saying that the Ancient intent on seeding other galaxy to live and colonize seems to frak the other species that already live there, in this case on Avalon, soon I am going to rename the Mo'goli to Drakh The Shadow Empire
                            sigpic
                            The Edge of the Night; contains love from the heart and soul, outpouring love to one and love one country.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by Elitenova
                              probably what he is saying that the Ancient intent on seeding other galaxy to live and colonize seems to frak the other species that already live there, in this case on Avalon, soon I am going to rename the Mo'goli to Drakh The Shadow Empire
                              Ok...don't change there name to that...we already have the draque over at SG Horizon and I don't even know how many more names are close to it. Also, by the sounds of it your story is sounding alot like SG Horizon...too similar to be unique. Pick something completely original please....blind fold yourself and hit a bunch of keys if you have to

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