Between the complaints about the abuse of language here and a discussion we had at work concerning the novel Ella Minnow Pea, I figured I'd start up a fun, pointless thread for people to post their favorite "English geek" jokes, book recommendations, mistakes and whatever else strikes folks' fancy. 
First off, if you do like language and haven't read Ella Minnow Pea , what are you doing?? Go buy, borrow or steal a copy right now! It's loads of fun and by the end of the novel (as various letters are struck from the English language) the lengths people have to go to in order to complete sentences is pretty hysterical.
The book calls itself a novel in liopgram and a lipogram is a body of work that purposefully excludes a particular letter (or letters) of the alphabet. Here's a reall cool, creative example that my boss found on spinelessbooks.com (and yes I do realize the irony of it containing grammatical oversights):
Mary Had a Lipogram
by A. Ross Eckler
mary had a little lamb,
its fleece was white as snow
and everywhere that mary went
the lamb was sure to go;
he followed her to school one day
that was against the rule
it made the children laugh and play
to see a lamb in school
mary had a little lamb
with fleece a pale white hue
and everywhere that mary went
the lamb kept her in view
to academe he went with her
illegal and quite rare
it made the children laugh and play
to view a lamb in there
polly owned one little sheep
its fleece shone white like snow
every region where polly went
the sheep did surely go
he followed her to school one time
which broke the rigid rule
the children frolicked in their room
to see the sheep in school
mary owned a little lamb
its fleece was pale as snow
and every place its mistress went
it certainly would go
it followed mary to class one day
it broke a rigid law
it made some students giggle aloud
a lamb in class all saw
mary had a pygmy lamb
his fleece was pale as snow
and every place where mary walked
her lamb did also go
he came inside her classroom once
which broke a rigid rule
how children all did laugh and play
on seeing a lamb in school
mary had a tiny lamb
its wool was pallid as snow
and any spot that mary did walk
this lamb would always go
this lamb did follow mary to school
although against a law
how girls and boys did laugh and play
that lamb in class all saw
The first one is "straight", but the others are all done excluding a particular letter.
There's also something called a liponym, which is the same idea, only excluding an entire word. Imaging Carter giving a lecture on Stargate physics and not being able to use the word wormhole. Of course, knowing Carter she'd come up with some highly technical alternate term for it, but it'd still be fun.
First off, if you do like language and haven't read Ella Minnow Pea , what are you doing?? Go buy, borrow or steal a copy right now! It's loads of fun and by the end of the novel (as various letters are struck from the English language) the lengths people have to go to in order to complete sentences is pretty hysterical.
The book calls itself a novel in liopgram and a lipogram is a body of work that purposefully excludes a particular letter (or letters) of the alphabet. Here's a reall cool, creative example that my boss found on spinelessbooks.com (and yes I do realize the irony of it containing grammatical oversights):
Mary Had a Lipogram
by A. Ross Eckler
mary had a little lamb,
its fleece was white as snow
and everywhere that mary went
the lamb was sure to go;
he followed her to school one day
that was against the rule
it made the children laugh and play
to see a lamb in school
mary had a little lamb
with fleece a pale white hue
and everywhere that mary went
the lamb kept her in view
to academe he went with her
illegal and quite rare
it made the children laugh and play
to view a lamb in there
polly owned one little sheep
its fleece shone white like snow
every region where polly went
the sheep did surely go
he followed her to school one time
which broke the rigid rule
the children frolicked in their room
to see the sheep in school
mary owned a little lamb
its fleece was pale as snow
and every place its mistress went
it certainly would go
it followed mary to class one day
it broke a rigid law
it made some students giggle aloud
a lamb in class all saw
mary had a pygmy lamb
his fleece was pale as snow
and every place where mary walked
her lamb did also go
he came inside her classroom once
which broke a rigid rule
how children all did laugh and play
on seeing a lamb in school
mary had a tiny lamb
its wool was pallid as snow
and any spot that mary did walk
this lamb would always go
this lamb did follow mary to school
although against a law
how girls and boys did laugh and play
that lamb in class all saw
The first one is "straight", but the others are all done excluding a particular letter.
There's also something called a liponym, which is the same idea, only excluding an entire word. Imaging Carter giving a lecture on Stargate physics and not being able to use the word wormhole. Of course, knowing Carter she'd come up with some highly technical alternate term for it, but it'd still be fun.
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