Going Through Doctor Who (Spoilers all Eps aired on BBC/BBCA)

[rushy]

Face The Raven had some genuinely terrific ideas, but is let down by the sheer awfulness of how Clara's death was handled.

PLOT

Rigsy(that dude from Flatline) calls the Doctor and Clara to help when he finds a tattoo on him that's counting down. Following a series of clues, the trio discover a hidden street in London where Rigsy is declared a murderer. Hoping to save his life, Clara finally outwits herself...

ANALYSIS

Really? This is the end of the most important companion ever? The one who met every Doctor and nonsensically knows everything about him? The one who saved Gallifrey and made the Doctor pick the right TARDIS? A raven kills her. Yeah. Watch me tremble.

People usually love to cite Last Christmas as the episode she should've gone out on, but I disagree. It was a nice scene, no doubt, but the real ending to her character came in Death In Heaven, where she and the Doctor parted ways, lying to each other. That ending actually paid off the increasingly fractured relationship they had in a wonderful twist we hadn't seen before.

But this... this is easily the crappiest companion departure in Doctor Who history. Forget about Dodo, at least she left with some manner of dignity. Clara gets axed by a bloody bird. As a minor plot point leading into the next episode. And she doesn't even have the decency to leave and be done with it, no, no, she has to carefully dictate the Doctor's character development from this episode forwards. I'm sorry, but that offends me. This episode insulted me.

Do you remember when Donna lost her memory and Wilf went "now, Doctor, I know she's dead and all, but make sure you behave, alright?"
Or when Amy got stuck in the 1930s or whenever and wrote an essay on how the Doctor is now supposed to get over it?

Yes, the Doctor has to get over it and move on, sure. But after 50 fricking years of Doctor Who and 10 fricking years of having it back again, WE KNOW HOW THIS WORKS. And to those who don't, figure it the frick out. That's your job as an audience.

Even worse, now that the Doctor is contractually obligated to get over his emotional problems instead of, you know, actually working them out, we have been robbed of Peter Capaldi's potential performances. Imagine the ending of The Zygon Inversion if the Doctor had just managed to wish the Zygons away to another planet. Sure, it's cosy, but it is not why we watch this show. We watch it for the painful bits, those moments where we don't really know what's going to happen next. The cliffhangers, if you will.

As much as I hate her, Clara Oswald has been the glue of the show for three years now and had she been properly ripped out of the show, Doctor Who could've gone properly scary. There's no telling what happens now. But instead, they make the death as fluffy as possible and completely ensure that the show remains the same as it's been, just without Jenna Coleman(and even that's up for grabs).

So yeah... it took Moffat two episodes to get on my most hated list again. And from what I've heard, next episode he's rewriting Gallifreyan lore again. Oh goody.

CHARACTERS

Whether or not she appears in the finale, this is the last regular appereance of Jenna Coleman as Clara on the show. What do I think? Well, to be perfectly honest, I think she was a little miscast. Jenna's a terrific actress and person, but there's a reason why I always saw her as a villain and that's because she always acted kind of like it. When I saw her play Bonnie in The Zygon Inversion, I thought it was perfect. So I think that she's a great actress overall, but just her overall personality was more Master than companion. I dunno, that's just my theory.
I liked her best in Series 7, when she was still wide-eyed and found the Doctor mysterious. The know-it-all gimmick was absolutely dreadful. They toned it down a bit in Series 9 so it was tolerable, but she's never going on my top 10 companions list, sorry.
Still, I can't say I'm not happy she got her chance to be in the show, it's just that... there's always somebody who doesn't work out entirely and for me, that person was her.

I'm not sure what the significance is, but the Doctor's gone back to his more serious Series 8 look. Would've made more sense had he done it after losing Clara, not before. The velvet is nice, but the lighting really doesn't do much for it. Also, Capaldi's acting in this episode kind of confuses me. Was he told to tone down the grief? It looked like he was really sad, but never really went anywhere with it.

Ashildr is the spore of Satan. I hope we never see her again. Seriously, after everything the Doctor did to her in both of the previous episodes she's been in, she has the nerve to trade him for some extra security?

Rigsy is actually really cool. He's moved on and got herself a daughter(lending to a really cute scene where the Doctor meets "the new human") and a wife. I wouldn't mind seeing more of him. He and his family could be good companions.

What the heck was up with that doctor guy who said "why don't they ever face the raven?" Because they don't want to die, you idiot. Yeah, it belongs in the notes section, but what else am I going to say about this character?

NOTES

*Why would a Cyberman hide out in a London street peacefully?

*Hey, it's the Ood again. DO SOMETHING WITH THEM. Or are they the "where's Wally?" of the Doctor Who universe now?

*The music was oddly ahead in the intro this episode.

*Did nobody notice the TARDIS floating over London?

*Why do the quantum whatevers look like ravens?

*I love how the Doctor automatically assumes(according to the telepathic field) that the secret street looks like Victorian London. Because it's always Victorian London.

*If Ashildr lived in the 21st century, then there's no way she didn't catch herself a little midget and called her... Mini-Me.

*I get why UNIT would be interested in the secret streets(are there others? Who's in charge of them?), but what would make the Zygons care?

*Why does Ashildr even help them anyway? If she's forgotten the Doctor is a good guy, how does she remember what he taught her?

*If Ashildr's memory sucks so bad, how come Jack's is perfect?

*What is Jack even doing nowadays? Getting his head chopped off and put into a jar?

*Aren't there still billions of Clara-clones scattered throughout the universe? Given how often the Doctor goes to Earth, it's kind of ludicrous to think he hasn't or won't run into another one.

*Didn't Capaldi say the costume was a one-off? He's still wearing it. Or did he mean continuity-wise(like, when he gets back to the TARDIS, he'll take it off and never use it again)??

*Speaking of the TARDIS, I miss having it communicate with the Doctor. Like, in all the previous seasons, there was always an episode where they had the TARDIS do something sentient. I don't think we've had that at all since the "TARDIS hates Clara" subplot.

BEST QUOTE

"You'll find that it's a very small universe when I'm angry with you."

CONCLUSION

I'm tired.

[rushy]

Heaven Sent/Hell Bent should be placed in a time capsule as the perfect summation of the Steven Moffat era: his classic one-off thriller paired with his wacky retcon storylines.

PLOT

The Time Lords trap the Doctor in his confession dial to squeeze the secret of the Hybrid out of him. After 4 and a half billion years of reliving the same nightmare over and over again, the Doctor manages to break out to use Gallifreyan technology to save his beloved Clara.

ANALYSIS

Heaven Sent was perfection. Quite possibly my favourite Doctor Who episode to date. Since the Doctor was the only character present, Moffat had no choice, but focus the story on him and all his whizz-bang ideas feel organic(the mental TARDIS was brilliantly effective) and part of the story as opposed to little sketches that go nowhere. It was tragic, beautifully acted, gave us a sense of the Doctor's character better than any other story could and the production values were as high as we've ever seen them. I have nothing more to say here.

But the other story is a big mess. It has enough interesting elements to it that it's not a total failure like some of the other finales, but for the most part, I was unhappy with it, sorry.

Bringing back Gallifrey for the sake of Clara's happy ending... well, you can imagine how I feel about that. It's completely trivialised the planet. After everything that was set up in the Ninth and Tenth Doctor eras, here we see the Doctor returning... and then sodding off again once he's got what he wanted. I don't care how many times you say "mad man in a box", this was out of character. This isn't the Doctor we saw as late as The Zygon Inversion. This is the Doctor who shoots others for no reason, is maniacally obsessed with saving his companions to the exclusion of everyone else and claims to have authority on a planet he won't help.

What is the Hybrid? I don't know. I know it's not the Doctor and Clara, because two people don't make up a Hybrid. If it is the Doctor, what is he a Hybrid of? Humans and Time Lords? Okay, can I get an affirmative on that? No? Does this legend have anything to do with anything? No? Then what's the point of this storyline?

At one point, the Doctor wants to wipe Clara's memory of him. Why? I don't know. Her memory doesn't get wiped and nothing happens to her. She's immortal so she couldn't die. The only reason it's done is so the Doctor can "accidentally" wipe his own memories. Yeah, he risks that for some reason. Did I mention he's out of character this episode?

All of the cloister bells on Gallifrey are ringing. Why? Because... the Hybrid is coming? You know, the Hybrid THAT MEANS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. And will likely not come up again since the season is finished. That Hybrid.

Why was Rassilon still in charge after all the crap he did in the Time War?

No one seemed to have a clear motivation here. It's like the story was there, but all the characters were stumbling around in the dark, their motives ripped out.

Now, you may find it hard to believe, but I actually didn't mind seeing Clara Oswald one last time. Her ending in Face The Raven was absolute crap and I'm glad they had something more interesting up their sleeve. I was touched, really. For better or for worse, she's been the companion for three years. I felt it. The problem is that the script was lazy.

CHARACTERS

The characterisation of the Twelfth Doctor here is horrible. Is this really how he treats the Time Lords, especially after Rassilon is knocked out? Why? Why are they still "hated"? They're hiding because they're afraid of being slaughtered! The whole idea in The Time Of The Doctor was that the Time Lords would return in peace! So why is he essentially ignoring them in favor of someone who's already dead and dust? Why can't he let go of Clara?
The Time Lords save him, tell Rassilon to bugger off and he still considers them his enemies for some bizarre reason. And he shoots someone! The Doctor shoots someone for no bloody reason, is that what fans are going with nowadays?

And it hurts, because Peter Capaldi, man... he is so good in this. I can't think of enough positive adjectives for the guy. He's probably the second best Doctor for me now, behind old Hartnell himself. Just give him some meat, not this tofu.

Jenna Coleman was really likable here, which surprised me(apart from a few moments like the speech she gave to the Time Lords) and she got a better exit than I could've anticipated. I'm also glad she took Ashildr with her in the TARDIS since that means that Maisie Williams won't come back for awhile(since they obviously can't bring back Coleman for a few years) and I am down with that.

It was nice to see the General again(who for some reason is the only Time Lord to talk with the Doctor) until he was randomly shot and regenerated into a woman. I don't think there's ever been anything more gimmicky on the show than that moment. And of course, the sass begins as soon as she's a woman. It's like clockwork.

I thought the idea that all immortals band together at the end of the universe was quite neat and interesting... but Ohila was just... there. Though apparently she doesn't like the Doctor as much as she used to and refers to him as boy now(even though he's a few thousand years older by my count).

It was nice to see Rassilon again. Donald Sumpter was vaguely interesting in the role, but doesn't beat Timothy Dalton(the definitive Rassilon, no doubt).

One really wishes they had more time to devote to Gallifrey. The Doctor being their war hero now plus the difference between Gallifreyans and Time Lords is already enough for some pretty great TV. Why do they have to throw it away in the name of a companion we've already let go?

NOTES

*Who were the holo-Time Lords in the Matrix area?

*What was the signficance of the American diner? Why there of all places? Is it just Moffat saying he's leaving soon?

*Where did the Doctor get a new suit from?

*If the sonic sunglasses is more high-tech, why does he go back to the screwdriver? If it's because Clara is gone(which he barely even remembers), why does he only change when someone close to him dies? That's annoyingly specific.

*Isn't that classic TARDIS set beautiful? I feel like it fitted Capaldi a lot better. He was truly home there.

*How did Gallifrey break out of the pocket universe?

*How can Ashildr be the last immortal if she's alive thanks to gadgetry? Surely that Mire healing device would burn out or break down eventually?

*And how does she remember the Doctor so well after that many years?

*I'm pretty sure Rassilon's gauntlet looked completely different.

*What's the deal with the four knocks again?

*How can the Doctor remember everything that happened to him and Clara, but not Clara herself?

*And did we really need him to wipe his own memories of her to move on?

*What was the point of having the Dalek, Cyberman and Weeping Angel? We haven't had a Twelfth Doctor Weeping Angel story, so that'd be interesting and the Dalek's appereance was pretty sad, but still pointless.

*And we still don't know the connection between the Time Lords and the Weeping Angels.

*How exactly did Missy bring the Doctor and Clara together?

*I get what the confession dial is, but where did it come from? Who built it?

*The chameleon circuit being stuck on the other TARDIS was just... ugh. It wouldn't have mattered if they had intentionally broken it, I get that, but seriously?

*Also, how does the other TARDIS feel about travelling with Clara and Ashildr?

*Why was the other TARDIS in Nevada in Series 6? Was it so that Clara could meet the Eleventh Doctor(hang on, did he get his special straw from the console room... OMG!!!)?

*To all those people who thought the barn was on some moon or whatever, HA. Gallifrey's sky is only orange at night anyway.

*Since when does the Doctor have a neurotic compulsion to run away? He left the Time Lords in the classic series twice. First before the series started, because he was bored and a second time in The Five Doctors because they wanted to make him Lord President(remember that this was when Time Lord society was stale and meaningless). Both were easily understandable choices that other people could've made, giving the Doctor both depth and a sense of reality, like all great characters.
Here, this is rewritten so that the Doctor leaves because he was scared of some meaningless prophecy that didn't amount to anything. Well that's relatable.

*I'd like to re-iterate that Murray Gold's score in this story(particularly the first part) is outstanding. And in the second one, I noticed a reuse of the Tenth Doctor theme, which was touching, if a little odd.

BEST QUOTE

Basically everything the Doctor says in the first part.

CONCLUSION

I've never seen a writer as inconsistent as Steven Moffat. One day everything ties together in a nice bow, the other it's all over the place.

[rushy]

Image Of The Fendahl is like a chaotic nightmare. It's scary and bizarre and only makes sense within its own universe. Also, it's the most incompetently cobbled together serial I've seen since the early 60s.

PLOT

The TARDIS detects a Relative Continuum Displacement Zone(time going screwy) and forces the Doctor and Leela to investigate an old priory where a secret experiment gone awry results in the return of a mythical force - the Fendahl who plot to... erm... do spoo-oo-ooky stuff(eat life or whatever) and are responsible for half of Earth's mythology. Go figure.

ANALYSIS

First of all, I'd just like to say that Doctor Who has never been more satanic than this. We've had evil cults before(at least thrice, actually), but this is pure supernatural with pentagrams, skulls, freaking Medusa...

However, that doesn't really come into play until the second half of the story. Until then, all we have to contend with is a bunch of evil scientists spouting utter gibberish(very reminiscent of the Pertwee era) and the Doctor acting like he's high. Whoop-e-de-doo.

But man, when the poop hits the fan, it gets real. It gets awesome and there's a sense of fun and dark insanity in the whole thing that I really enjoyed.

CHARACTERS

Oh boy oh boy oh boy, this is my favourite part today. We had an epic duo today.

Grandma Tyler and her grandson Jack are probably the first guest stars on the show whom I cared about more than the Doctor and his companion. Like, seriously, they seemed to be from some completely different show, a sitcom or something and I just loved them.

Grandma Tyler is a sassy psychic who can make delicious fruitcakes and Jack's his equally sassy lad with a rifle. What's not to love? There's a richness and kindness about the two characters that makes them instantly lovable and they're easily the story's highlight.

We also have the mad scientist team, led by the hilariously Mexican-accented Fendelman(no apparent connection to the Fendahl) with a Zaroff-worthy evil cultist assistant called Max, a smug arse aka "the young, innocent one who has to uncover the truth" called Colby and the woman, Thea Ransome. And yes, I say "the woman" because that's literally her only characteristic in this. Don't give me that look! If it was a group of women and Ransome was a man, I'd say "the guy" too.

Oh yeah, Thea is apparently the Fendahl's chosen one or something. No idea why her and not the appropriately named Fendelman, but there you go.

Unfortunately, K-9 does not bless us with his voice in this episode(due to quick rewrites as he wasn't originally supposed to be a cast member) and thus spends the story broken down in the TARDIS.

The Doctor and Leela have nicely transitioned into a slightly flirty friendship. They both seem a lot cosier than in Season 14.

NOTES

*The Relative Continuum Displacement Zone has already been encountered once in this marathon, in the Second Doctor novel The Wheel Of Ice. I actually thought it was invented for the book.

*Why the heck does the Doctor just stand there in the Episode 1 cliffhanger whilst the Fendahleen approaches him?

*I'm pretty sure this is the first time the Doctor has ever exhibited the ability to just throw stuff into supernovas. Remember when he opened the doors and everything went nuts?

*Why is the Fendahl's energy contained inside some old skull?

*Is it just me or has the Doctor's scarf gotten bigger? Or maybe it's just the way he's wearing it, it entirely covers his shoulders in this story.

*Why does the Fendahl look like a weird, golden angel?

*The priory's destruction plays out really bizarre. There seem to be a lot of explosions in FRONT of the priory and then the whole thing is literally rewinded and that's it. Huh.

*Why does Leela sleep on the TARDIS floor? I know the beds are weird as hell, but c'mon.

*Is the use of vinegar to defeat the Slitheen a reference to this story's use of rock salt to defeat the Fendahleen?

*Even K-9's head makes noise. But I like that he has a mini-scarf.

*I like that the Doctor accepts him, but I have no idea why he went from "it's a computer" to "he's my dog". Completely random.

BEST QUOTE

"I love fruitcake." Quite possibly the most natural delivery in the show so far.

CONCLUSION

It's a complete shambles, but manages to entertain regardless. So bad it's good, I'd say. It has its magic.

[rushy]

Tomorrow, the Christmas edition of Going Through Doctor Who will be up and it's a review of the Fourth Doctor serial The Sun Makers. But never mind that right now.

I've just read an interview from Peter Capaldi saying that he's considering leaving the show in Series 10. It's the same old same old: typecasting, wants to move on to other projects, you know the drill.

And I have this funny feeling... when I started doing this, it was around 2013, when the Matt Smith era was on its final legs... so I went through Eccleston's series, I went through Tennant's and even though Matt Smith was technically THE Doctor at the time, I never connected with him since his run was practically over once I'd finished my marathon of new Doctor Who. I flitted through Eccleston, Tennant and Smith, knowing when they will regenerate, seeing it coming and being excited for the next Doctor, to move on. I looked down towards the reaction videos on Youtube full of people crying as Smith tossed down his bow-tie and Capaldi popped out of nowhere. I was like "WTH you people wear your emotions on your sleeve or what?"

But now I have this funny feeling, because Peter Capaldi has been THE Doctor for two years now. Eccleston, Tennant and Smith were Doctors, even my favourite, William Hartnell, is a Doctor, a wonderful Doctor, but a Doctor. Peter Capaldi, though, is the one I see on my crappy TV on Saturday and that makes him THE Doctor. I have this funny feeling called fear... I don't want Peter Capaldi to go away.

I feel that classic Whovian fear. I just can't tolerate the idea of Twelve regenerating. It's not fair, he just landed in Victorian London! I know it's a year away, I know. I know I've whined so hard over his era, I know that. But nothing can take away from what I really feel for this show and its leading man... complete and utter devotion. I can feel the tears stinging my eyes even now so it's a fair guess that this time, I'm going to hug my pillow along with everyone else...

[rushy]

The Sun Makers is a wonderfully unsubtle satire and an adventurous romp to boot.

PLOT

The TARDIS lands on Pluto, where humanity have immigrated to with the assistance of a mysterious Company, who have subsequently taken advantage of them by using them as a labor force to recoup profits. Thus, it's up to the TARDIS crew(oh yes, I get to call them a crew again! It IS Christmas!) to ferment revolution amongst the downtrodden humans.

ANALYSIS

There are a few flaws in the story - the direction is slightly haphazard, the comedy is a bit too broad and out of place and the rebellion aren't very sympathetic until they actually confront the Collector's forces. Also, every time someone joined the rebellion(the two guards in Episode 3 and Marn in Episode 4), they acted like they were being forced(which they were) and were planning to betray the group. But that never came to anything. It seemed odd to me that beyond the Gatherer, no one was loyal to the Company without the PCM gas.

But those flaws do not tarnish the slyness and obvious bitterness of Robert Holmes's script nor does it take away from the levity of the performances. The Sun Makers is a perfect example of a writer getting his point across by engaging its audience instead of teaching it. And dare I say it, by the time Holmes was finished, I doubt he had any anger left inside as he tears the whole concept of over-taxation apart bit by bit.

CHARACTERS

As I mentioned earlier, some of the comedy was a bit too broad and felt disconnected from the more darker, hate-fuelled humor against the villains. No one exemplifies that more than Tom Baker, who spends the majority of the first episode acting like an arse. I love his dynamic with K-9 and Leela, but I can't deny it feels like they're being ever-slightly dumbed down or at least, the writing for their characters is more formulaic. The banter doesn't come across entirely naturally, particularly K-9, since he's established not to have feelings.

The Collector is a pretty cool and slimy villain completely obsessed with facts and figures, though his voice can get annoying after a while(it kind of reminds me of the Security Chief from The War Games).

His polar opposite, yet equally evil Gatherer is probably the most mocked character of the piece and you can see that he's the one Holmes really hates, not the higher-ups. He sees the Collector as naturally evil, but the Gatherer has the power to topple him, yet does nothing for greed alone.

One of my favourite characters was Cordo, who I would've loved to see join the TARDIS crew. He is forced out of the community by sheer over-taxation and later befriends the Doctor and Leela and is taught bravery and individualism. Even though he's not a warrior of any kind, his heart obviously impresses Leela(he's the only rebel to accompany her to try and rescue the Doctor) and the two have some great chemistry.

As I mentioned earlier, the rebels had one flaw: they weren't very sympathetic. I don't really get why Holmes decided to write them as brutes, but that's what they come across. For some reason, the Doctor does what they demand of him, yet immediately comes under suspicion out of nowhere(they have a legit reason to think he's a traitor, but it just comes across weird, you have to watch it to tell) and is almost tortured before they suddenly accept the Doctor's plan only on Cordo's word and are all buddies.

In one of the more shocking parts of the story, they toss the Gatherer off the roof to his death, yet that's taken completely in stride. From what I understand, Terrance Dicks rectified this in his novel, but here, the act is celebrated.

NOTES

*K-9's ticker tape is shortened, thank God. It doesn't look like a beard anymore and looks more like a little dog's tongue, which seems to be the point.

*Another flaw of the comedy in this story is that it's not given the pace it requires. Comedy requires cause and effect, yet the effect part is almost always glossed over for the next pun. Even the good jokes kind of fall flat because of it.

*What's with the part where they look for K-9 for ten seconds and then he just shows up?

*I have to wonder what guns the future humans use. They shoot Leela in the head and it leaves a mark, yet she's fine later. I would've liked them to be more specific about what sort of weapons they were using.

*Ah, the ever-so-compassionate Doctor. When he is released from an execution chamber, he throws the next victim a bag of jelly babies.

*What is it with Doctor Who getting discounts of famous actors? Mandrell(the rebel leader) looks like the spitting image of a young Sir Michael Caine.

*The TARDIS console room is pretty small now, isn't? It used to be enormous during the Hartnell era. And that was during the Lime Grove days.

*Why are Leela and the rebel woman so chummy at the end? They're bitter enemies in every other scene.

*That being said, I loved the way the rebels waved goodbye to the TARDIS crew.

*I liked the way Pluto was used as the setting. Pluto needs love now more than ever.

*Leela being suspended in the air by string whilst waiting for execution was pure LOL material.

*If this story was made nowadays, Cordo would definitely have been killed off for becoming an increasingly reckless person. Recklessness basically equals death in modern TV and film.

BEST QUOTE

All the inventive titles the Gatherer gives to the Collector.

CONCLUSION

It's been a Merry Christmas indeed. But wait! There's more to come today!

For the very first time, I have found BBC One online(I know, right? Took me soooo soon) with my smart phone(which btw, is my very first one. I got it for Christmas and I love it!) so I'll be able to watch The Husbands Of River Song along with everyone else in real time in just about an hour!

Whilst watching it, I'm going to write down my reactions and post them immediately after seeing the episode before a full-fledged review later. I would've done a reaction video, but I live in a flat with hear-through walls so that's not gonna happen unfortunately. Maybe one day we'll get a Going Through Doctor Who episode on Youtube. Maybe.

[rushy]

*I love it already. It's so happy.
*LOL Classic Twelve, that sign.
*Holodramatic antlers?
*I love how the Doctor has a billion adventures in one day.
*I guess Doctor Who had to have a flying saucer eventually...
*Why is River so... erm, Sidious?
*Why can't he use River's name?
*River's still a smug little ****.
*Ah, another Christmassed intro. This is turning into a great tradition.
*ALEX KINGSTON IN DA TITLES! Oh, she so deserved it.
*What's with the Gregorian choir?
*Sentient laser swords? Sounds like the Headless Monks.
*Oh, that's rich. The only husband she'll ever have. I feel ya, Twelve.
*What's with the theatricism? Is that a word?
*Aww, poor Matt Lucas got the wrong guy. LOLz.
*What's with the giant robot suit?
*Bad back! Nice Hartnell reference there.
*So, I presume she got herself into a mess?
*She... does know it's him, right?
*The sonic shades live!! *punches air*
*I like that the Doctor's actually getting pissed at River for being a
psycho.
*Oh great, Moffat's gender humor returns. He's a man, he's thinking!
*Second wife? Da hell?
*Is he related to Max Capricorn?
*Of course, she's the WOMAN who's going to stop him.
*Recommendation: chill. HA!
*I like Hydroflax. He should be a companion. Just a psycho dictator
travelling in the TARDIS.
*Nice Star Trek teleport.
*Aww, Twelve in a good mood is so great.
*Oh, she really doesn't know... this better be good.
*Good grief, she's like a cheater-machine.
*Damsel? DAMSEL?!? The Doctor?!?!? I'd be angry if Clara hadn't made me
immune.
*Why do evil robots in Doctor Who nowadays always apologise before
shooting?
*What's the point of having Matt Lucas in the suit if the suit is in
charge?
*Stealing the TARDIS? Then again, her logic makes sense.
*River steals the TARDIS often? Again, I should hate this, but eh.
*She's not shocked the TARDIS looks different?
*LOL I love Twelve.
*So now we know what the round things are.
*Wouldn't the TARDIS not take off in The Christmas Invasion, when Ten got
his hand chopped off? And I know he regrew it, but well, hasn't something
like this happened before? I'm sure it has.
*Why would he say he's acquainted with River Song? Is he crazy?
*Matt Lucas better not be dead.
*Maybe he should invent temporal grace.
*Warp factor? This really IS Star Trek.
*I want to go on a galaxy cruise.
*I love the waiter dude. Best character in the whole thing so far.
*So... it's basically the SS Evil? Moffat, you are forgiven once more.
*Not very special, but terribly useful. Screw you, River. My hate IS
coming back.
*Have we seen these blue aliens before?
*Best. Safe. Ever.
*He's not in the bag, is he?
*Does it also work for Earth banks?
*Well, that's a massive coinkidink.
*If anyone was so obviously stalling, I'd just punch them and take it.
Why does no one ever stall subtly in television?
*What's the difference between rocks and stones?
*That waiter is such a slimy git, brilliant.
*How did it not fry the diamond?
*How can Hydroflax rule without his brain? Stupid body.
*LOL, he stores his heads, that's so awesome.
*Eh, yeah, he does love you, you stupid, stupid old woman.
*He is here! He is here! He is here! XDXDXDXD
*"I dug you up." Great line.
*Ohh, I sense sexy fanfiction, if you get what I mean.
*OH GOD NO I LOST THE CHANNEL!
*Okay, so the Doctor is now grabbing flashy blue wires. Missed something.
*Oh yes he did.
*It's like the "anything you can do I can do better" song.
*How come the Doctor never puts in coordinates or anything when he drives
the TARDIS now? Has he streamlined the controls or something?
*Oh, she really did dig him up?
*Is... is this it? Is this the goodbye. No, can't be.
*Love how she's still impeccable after all that action.
*Happy Christmas? Also, he SONIC SCREWDRIVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Also, he did give her the diary as a gift.
*Damn you, Moffat. You are beautiful when you are right. Merry Christmas
to you.
*Well, technically he did. She's still alive as a data ghost.
*Funny how every single date they have, they talk about what came before
or after.
*24 years. Oh, they gonna shag.
*KISS! Guess not.
*Next time...?

[rushy]

The Husbands Of River Song is a wonderful tribute to the River Song arc... and also a really silly slapstick comedy in space.

PLOT

The Doctor and River are reunited, but due to the timey-wimey, she is unable to recognise his twelfth incarnation. They are under threat by the mad king Hydroflax, who has a diamond lodged in his brain, which River has sold to a coincidentally Hydroflax-obsessed cult on the SS Evil(seriously, a cruise for villains).

After all that nonsense, the Doctor and River arrive at the Singing Towers on their destined final date and as appropriate on Christmas, she gets a gift...

ANALYSIS

If you take away the River aspect, I'd say this special is okay. There are many funny lines and the characters are very memorable, but on the whole, it's a bit too ridiculous for its own good. Most of the episode is spent on the Doctor and River running from a killer robot on an evil cruise with a dictator's head in a bag. There's nothing to balance out the vast amount of silliness this episode delivers, no straight man, no quiet moment.

Comedy works best when it's juxtaposed with drama or tragedy, but here, there's very little sense of the Doctor or River being in genuine danger, apart from that scene in the restaurant and even that doesn't make an impact since their attempts at stalling are eyerolling.

In fact, that's the one word I'd use to sum up everything, but the last few minutes of this episode: eyerolling. It's fun and imaginative, but goes too far in making itself "a disposable Christmas escapade". It lacks punch.

CHARACTERS

The Twelfth Doctor and River together at last. I thought it would affect me more than it did. Basically, it's just like the Eleventh Doctor and River, but with a new actor. The dynamic hasn't changed at all. River still does whatever the hell she wants and the Doctor still cleans up the mess. Even their chemistry is pretty much exactly the same.

Hydroflax was a fun concept, but he's nonstop screaming about taking over the world just got on my nerves after a while. They could've done much more with him.

I did really love the robot. He was a cool villain and the way he kept storing heads in his body was pretty darn funny. His come-uppance in the restaurant was perfect(although I wonder how the sounds he makes don't bother anyone. I would certainly be annoyed if he was my waiter).

The funniest character of all was the blue alien on the SS Evil. His polite greediness and attempts to offer the robot the Doctor's head as compensation were hilarious and the highlight of all the whole story.

NOTES

*THE SONIC SCREWDRIVER OMG OMG OMG! I totally didn't expect that. Really, I thought it was just fan speculation and that the Eleventh had been the one to give her that(I even mentioned it in my Top 10 sonic screwdrivers list on the blog).

*Although, if I could nitpick for a second, I'm not sure where the Twelfth Doctor got the trumped up Tenth Doctor sonic from. Is it the one he kept from the Library, making it a paradox? Or did he just find one of his old sonics and updated it?

*Why was the robot designed to have multiple heads?

*Has anyone else noticed how the Doctor and River always spend their dates talking about their other dates?

*Why was the Doctor where River was? Did the TARDIS direct him there?

*And what the heck are the "holodramatic" antlers she gave him??

*And why couldn't there have been a Wilf reference? Doctor Who, red comedy antlers, how could you not make a Wilf reference?!?

*I loved the "criticised" sign on the TARDIS door. The Twelfth Doctor seems to use a lot of keep out signs.

*Considering that River had a collection of photos from each of the Doctors, I'd love to hear about his adventures with the classic ones. Like, wouldn't you love a book where the Second Doctor and River did something? Especially since, according to The Eternity Clock, River hated that incarnation.

*To misquote Brian Blessed, "THE SONIC SHADES ARE ALIVE!!!"

*How come we never saw the sonic trowel do anything?

*The new sonic screwdriver is a mixed bag for me: I love the spinny thing, but the design itself is clunky and doesn't look very comfortable to hold. I also think it should've been purple, to differentiate it more and to match it up with the velvet suit.

*When Matt Lucas first introduces the Doctor to River, why does she act so melodramatic?

BEST QUOTE

"I dug you up." - River explaning to the blue guy who she is(an archeologist) and how she knew she was going to win.

CONCLUSION

Pretty forgettable, but the Doctor-River reunion was handled nicely, as was what I presume is the ending to her story.

A Very Messy Christmas as Baldrick would say. I don't know why I'm making a Blackadder reference, but I can't get it out of my head, so here's a very messy Christmas to you all.

[rushy]

"The time has come", the fan said, "to talk of other things. Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, cabbages and kings!"

Series 9 has officially come to a close and it's time to look back on this year of Doctor Who and see where it went right and where it went wrong in my original "write without any control" style that I started out with on July 25th, 2013.

If you remember, I had some huge issues with Series 8. The characters were unlikable, the stories were factory-produced and I felt despair to the point where I nearly gave up on the new series.

But lo! and behold, Doctor Who came back as it always does. This season started off with magnificiently, completely reinventing the Twelfth Doctor as a carefree rock star with Missy more like a minor nuisance if anything. And though the Daleks remain as utterly useless as they have been since Victory Of The Daleks, Davros got some really nice character development, a surprise especially since the Moffat era doesn't really do that for villains.

Since the more "emotional" story arc of the last season was done and dusted, we were free to move forward and oh boy, forward we went. The Doctor and Clara were back to being the pals they should've been all along(at least they weren't biting each others' heads off), Missy was no longer offering Cyberarmies to any passerby and the humor was lighthearted and hilariously self-referential. The whole scene in medieval England was electrifying. Heck, even Davros got a few oneliners later on. Davros!

For the next few episodes, I had a lot of fun. The series was unabashedly reveling in breaking the fourth wall all the time, which helped make the Twelfth Doctor a lot more fun and off-the-wall. I also liked the addition of glowing roundels in the TARDIS console room, which solved the blandness problem I had with it earlier.

Unfortunately, we ran into Ashildr. Well, Me. I liked Ashildr. But Me is a whole other story.
The thing is, Me is not likable. They do explain how she's become jaded over time, but then they forget it in Face The Raven and Hell Bent, so I'm not really sure what her motivations are or what the point of the character even is anymore. She's just a really irritating immortal and... wait, why the heck is she immortal? Seriously, you're telling me that every other immortal in the universe has died, but someone who's kept alive by a MACHINE is not?
Suuuure, yes, that Mire device suuure lasted for billions and billions of years to the end of everything. Right-o.

Fortunately, after Clara gets killed off in a really silly fashion by a bird, we enter... Heaven Sent. And if the conclusion to that wonderful, imaginative, most innovative and exquisite story had had any effort put into it, this season would've ranked so much higher.

But no. Instead, we got Hell Bent, a story that tries to do so much, yet seems so half-hearted in all of them. Eh, we have this Hybrid story that means really nothing and Clara's gonna die, but she's really not and it all means something, but really doesn't and I care, but I really don't...

So yeah, that was Series 9. It was a big step upwards after the colossal vortex of boredom that was Series 8 and had what could be my favourite episode of the new series in it, proving that Moffat's magic is still in there somewhere and can't be written off... however, the story arc is the lamest yet, it lacks proper depth and doesn't show enough respect for colossal things like Gallifrey and the Time Lords, instead shunning them for Clara, for the Doctor's sickening obsession of her. Yeah, riveting. Even if their whole melodrama is intentional, it's still melodrama and not nearly as interesting or important as what we could've had with the reunion of the Doctor and Gallifrey proper.

But wait... what about the Christmas special? Well, I thought it was nice. I'm glad it made sure we weren't going to see mopey Series 8 Twelve again and the send-off to River's character was spectacular. It was a fun episode and I am so hyped for Series 10 without all baggage.

[rushy]

Underworld sounds like a very exciting story... shame we never got to see it.

PLOT

The TARDIS bumps into one of the last ships of the Minyans, a race whose destruction directly inspired the Time Lord laws of non-interference. There, the Doctor helps them finally track down their sister ship, that contains the race banks that could help the Minyan race flourish once more.

Unfortunately, the sister ship has become trapped under a mass of garbage as the center of a newly formed planet and the descendants of its passengers have become slaves to mysterious aliens serving the ship's megalomaniac computer. It's up to the Doctor to correct the Time Lords' ancient mistake and save the Minyans.

ANALYSIS

That all sounds good on paper, doesn't it? Unfortunately, like a classic Bob Baker and Dave Martin story, the execution is cringeworthy, another case of "how on Earth did they expect to get away with this?"

And I'm not just talking about the CSO caves. It's the writing that truly upsets me. They set up this amazing world - spaceship in the middle, megalomaniac computer protecting the race banks and strange aliens controlling the populace. It sounds very interesting, but unlike other Doctor Who stories where the Doctor meets people, learns things from them and joins them to defeat the big evil, they never actually explore this.

Most of the story is spent on running around those awful CSO caves for minor tasks or running away from guards or whatnot. We never find out who the aliens are(they're related to the Minyans, but are somehow also ascended to a higher intelligence or something), we never find out why the computer went crazy and the culture of their society is only referenced in lines about the sky and their sacrifices to the computer.

We never even find out how the Doctor is able to free ALL of the Minyan slaves despite only having minutes and one work force free.

I can understand that the lack of available sets, time and money were a huge part of what made this story what it is, but the scripts are only restrained by imagination. And I really resent the lack of involvement that the writers had in this society because the whole story was ABOUT this society! And yet all it ended up being was a pointless runaround until everyone's safe and they take off again, at which point the evil computer's bombs blow the planet apart.

How imaginative.

CHARACTERS

This is extra annoying, since these two writers invented him, but K-9 is really used poorly in this story. For the majority of it, he's restrained on the Minyans' ship as they need him as a power source. The rest of the time, he's a glorified messenger("Hey Doc, come back to the ship, we're blasting off in twenty minutes!!"). It wouldn't hurt so bad except that I don't think we've had a really good K-9 story yet, where he's actually part of the team instead of set decoration and occasional oneliner dispenser.

Yet another discount actor! This time around, James Maxwell does a near-perfect impersonation of our favourite Zen master, Bernard Horsfall. As such, he is easily my favourite part of this story.

Alan Lake's Herrick is... extremely macho, but also somehow likable. He's constantly fuming and yelling and acting like a moron, but in a funny sort of way.

I sort of like the slave Leela bonds with, but he's no Cordo for sure.

The rest are all meh. Even the mad computer made little impact. Her realising her failure before her death was cool.

NOTES

*The Doctor trying to wave the "gas"(CG effect) away with his scarf looks hilarious.

*The CSO really is bad. At least in the Pertwee era, they made sure not to show people's legs so the background was somewhat plausible. Here, though... wow. It's bad.

*I love how in the no-gravity elevator, the Doctor's scarf just limply falls off Tom Baker's shoulder. He tries putting it back again, but we all saw it.

*What the hell is the Episode 3 cliffhanger? The Doctor and Leela hide in a mine cart, the old man pushing them falls over and suddenly they're dumped into the machine??

*I like that Jackson didn't turn against the Doctor in the end, when he delayed and then brought the Minyans aboard. It's a refreshing change to see a guy not be too obsessed.

*What exactly does the Fourth Doctor paint? Roundels? Leela? Clocks? An abstract representation of his scaredy cat feelings underneath all that bluster and bravado? Davros?

*I adore the sofa the Minyans have on the main deck of their ship.

*Nice to see Leela appreciate K-9 more.

BEST QUOTE

"You're just another machine with megalomania, hah, another insane object! Another self-aggrandizing artifact! You're nothing! Nothing but a mass of superheated junk with delusions of grandeur!"

CONCLUSION

The review is the review.

[rushy]

The Invasion Of Time might be Doctor Who's first major "season finale", or at least that's how it seems to me. Although we've had some terrific season closers before(The War Games and The Talons Of Weng-Chiang immediately leap into mind), this is really the first time that I feel like the stakes are being specifically upped to close off the year.

PLOT

Under the constant surveillance of the evil Vardans, the Doctor returns to Gallifrey and finally assumes the role of Lord President as part of an elaborate plan to defeat his latest foes with the unwitting help of his own people.
However, in a double-cross, the Doctor's own plan is part of the plan that releases a more familiar enemy into the sacred world of the Time Lords...

ANALYSIS

It's really hard to decide whether this story is good or bad. The best I can say is that it's a great story... but with so many crap decisions surrounding its production.

First of all, this is one of the lamest six-parters ever. People generally seem to find the appereance of the Sontarans towards the end to be the story's highlight. However, for me, it's the serial's downfall. I don't mind them on their own(although they're nowhere near as good as Kevin Lindsay's versions), but the way they just replace the Vardans as villains is pure baloney and dumbs the story down to a runaround and not even a good one.

I love the idea of The Invasion Of Time. The Doctor's unexplained behaviour and the appereance of Gallifrey immediately gives the story much urgency and separates it from the other, ordinary adventures that the Doctor has. Besides Leela, there's really no one that the viewer can trust. Even K-9 seems to be acting strangely and the Time Lords themselves are a complete enigma, of course. We also learn more about Gallifreyan culture and their laws, which is awesome for any fan.

But the more we find out, the more disinterested the story seems to become with itself. Apart from some excellent performances, there's nothing to convey the true meaning of what is happening: Gallifrey, the home of the TIME LORDS themselves is being violated. And whilst I can understand that the budget was effectively depleted, the people behind the scenes were not.

The serial's two largest mistakes is not compensating for its budget and not directing the actors to convey genuine shock as change is forced upon Time Lord culture in a way that easily surpasses any previous story. The sheer significance of The Invasion Of Time is completely ignored. As a result, the story just becomes sillier and sillier until no one seems to have a clue what's going on anymore. By the last episode, it's literally just Tom Baker fumbling about in an abandoned building("the TARDIS interior") until he's knocked off all the Sontarans.

CHARACTERS

Tom Baker carries this entire story on his pinky finger. His scheming and repartee with Borusa is exquisite and really makes this story look far better than it is. But even better, this can be called the first episode of the legendary "Tom Baker Show". Some diehard fans try to excuse his behaviour away by saying that he's full-on acting and keeping his mind messy, but it's obvious that the actor's just screwing with everyone and it is glorious. He is the ultimate troll.

John Arnett's controlled, subtle performance as Borusa is a great foil for the utterly unhinged Baker and he even manages to be somewhat eccentric in his own super-logical way. There's a great scene where Borusa recognises the intelligence behind the Doctor's way of thinking and he acknowledges how the roles of teacher and student have reversed.

Milton Johns returns as yet another crooked character, Castellan Kelner(if the name sounds familiar, it's because a much nicer old guy held the same title in The Deadly Assassin). What I like about Kelner is his lack of villainy. He never directly tries to gain power and doesn't even show any sadistic tendencies. He's an oppurtunist, pure and simple who, kind of like that weasel race from the new series who get conquered every other day, tries to use every situation to his advantage.

The Vardans are an absolute waste of scriptwriting existence. They are boring bad guys, who first inexplicably appear as giant silly-looking menhirs, then turn into marginally acceptable tin foil and finally appear as the most generic henchmen ever. And their point in the story is never explained as they are immediately defeated and replaced by the Sontarans for no good reason.

And the Sontarans themselves, whilst infinitely better than the Vardans, are still crap by Sontaran standards. They talk in a weird, clipped off fashion instead of the whispery growl that has identified them before and since and the masks are not very high-quality either(and there's only one of them). Still, I kind of like Stor's hunter personality and his confrontations with the Doctor.

Andred is likable, but becomes too goofy later on, especially when he's around K-9. I'll get to him and Leela in a second.

K-9 is just loaded with snark in this story. Whatever happened to not having emotions? He's on fire!

And then there's Leela. I don't think there's a single fan out there who likes her departure in this story. And I'm not going to change history today. Her departure isn't even laughable or lazy. It's just bizarre. Her "romance" with Andred isn't undeveloped... it just doesn't exist. They are two completely separate characters who happened to meet up a few times and at the end, she stays behind for him??
She had way more chemistry and thematic relevance with Cordo(who appeared to be her exact opposite until they met) from The Sun Makers!

But aside from that baloney, Leela was great in this story as usual. I loved her confusion at the Doctor's vocabulary and worry at the end over whether or not he was going to be lonely. More on her in the Season 15 retrospective below.

NOTES

*Was the Doctor's hopscotching scripted or another one of Baker's moods?

*I have to admit I love every time he breaks the fourth wall. There's something about meta moments in Doctor Who that I enjoy tremendously. It's such a crazy show it actually fits for it, I think.

*Even Andred's comedy fourth-wall break was kind of funny in a Christmas pantomime sort of way.

*Considering that we've seen people casually living outside the Citadel in the new series(and it's strongly implied that the Doctor grew up with them), how is it so impossible and rare for Time Lords to be outside? And I get that the Time Lords are all-important and so forth, but if they get their recruits from outside, there has to be a society living there(as we see in Listen and Hell Bent). But in this story, the Time Lords make it sound like the Outsiders are crazed rebels and unique(as they can only muster up very few men to attack the Citadel). Even the regular Gallifreyans like Radon live inside!

*How exactly is it safe for the Chancellor to hold the Great Key? Hasn't there been an evil Chancellor before? Or a Chancellor who became Lord President? Maybe it's another case of "you said it the last 15 times" where the Matrix constantly erases such events from history.

*Speaking of which, since when did the Matrix actively start altering people's minds? In The Deadly Assassin, it was just a really wacky storehouse of Time Lord knowledge. If it can actively mess with their heads, why didn't Rassilon just wipe the Master's memory or something?

*At least this explains what Rassilon has been doing all this time in his Tomb(to those of you unaware, I became a classic Who fan through The Five Doctors, but don't think I know all the spoilers!).

*Did they actually explain Rassilon at any point? If they did, I must have missed it. They just seemed to suddenly bring him up like "Rassilon is doing this..." without clarifying at all who Rassilon is.

*Where the heck did the Doctor get a K-9 Mark II at the end? If he can build them, why did he? And when?

*I've always boycotted stories about how Tom Baker hated the Leela character(since Jameson made it clear that they never had a problem after filming Horror Of Fang Rock), but "Goodbye, savage." is a horribly acidic final thought on her and just taking out a K-9 Mk II box makes the Doctor look incredibly selfish. "Oh, did that leather-wearing primate really think she got my toy? HA!"

*Every moment with Lord President Tom Baker is gold. Just everything.

*Time Lord lunch = fruit drops.

*So, the forcefield surrounding the entire planet of Gallifrey is controlled by one old factory-looking place?

*How did the Outsiders break into the Citadel without anyone noticing?

*Why do the Guards wave keys over the TARDIS door in special fashions? It looks like they're breaking apart some sort of seals, but then they just give up and start using one key.

*Here's an obvious one: why is the TARDIS desktop set on "ugly brick hospital"?

*The Doctor keeps killer plants in the TARDIS?

*This is the first story to introduce the huge interior of the TARDIS. Before, the implication was that there were a few rooms beyond the console room, but not much else(it seemed to be the size of a good flat, basically).

*Why is this ridiculous story still so many leagues ahead of Hell Bent?

BEST QUOTE

"You are a very stupid machine!" - K-9 said to the poor TARDIS.

CONCLUSION

A madhouse production prevents it from reaching its full potential, but A+ for trying.


At last. I thought I'd never be done with that review. Anyway, season 15 was quite enjoyable and I'd say on par with the Pertwee years(where the seasons usually had around two really good stories and three mediocre ones). Graham Williams has proven to be a dab hand at comedy and not much else(no offense). He lacks the firm grip on production that Barry Letts and Philip Hinchcliffe had, but manages to compensate by matching the haphazard state of the show with irreverent frivolity. It just about works.

We now say goodbye to one of my favourite companions, Leela. I didn't talk about her often in the character section due to my rule about having main cast members there(unless they are related to the plot or have some big moment, they're not going to be brought up). She was always lovely, combining childlike innocence with steely loyalty in the most - pardon me - the most sexy of ways. Louise Jameson never once disappointed with her acting and when the stars in the sky aligned with the stars in the sorcerer's hat, she had a terrific rapport with co-star Tom Baker. I'll definitely miss her.

And her costume.

[rushy]

Oh my God, I have such a crush on Romana, it's not even funny. She is SO gorgeous... *swoon*

WRITTEN BY

This is a new paragraph in the reviews, where I take a look at the writer and give my opinion on his work and experience with Doctor Who. In this case, we have Robert Holmes, an old veteran who is less of a sci-fi writer(as proven by his meagre early stories. In my opinion, he didn't get good until Carnival Of Monsters) and more of a satirical comedy/horror writer who took advantage of Doctor Who and turned out works of art. Kudos.

PLOT

The Doctor's TARDIS is impounded by the mysterious White Guardian, who tasks him to recover the six hidden segments of the Key To Time, with which he could restore the balance of good and evil in the universe before the Black Guardian upsets it. In this mission, he is provided with a new assistant: the young, intelligent Time Lady Romana, who has just finished the Academy.

The first segment is hidden on the primitive planet of Ribos, where the TARDIS crew make enemies of the vicious, dethroned Graff Vynda-K, who is also being manipulated by a veteran con man and his naive partner in crime.

ANALYSIS

I'm putting my cards on the table: this is the best story arc Doctor Who has ever done, in my opinion. I just love how different it is from the norm and how imaginative. This is fairytale Doctor Who done just right: it is fun, it is mystical, it fits the formula and the stakes are high. I adore quest storylines(hence why I'm a fan of stories like The Keys Of Marinus and the upcoming The Five Doctors). It's like the characters are placed in this awesome game scenario and each serial in this season is like a different level.

In addition, I love the introduction of the two Guardians, who are the first "race"(if they can be called that) to supersede the power of the Time Lords. I hope they bring these two back at some point in the new series. Or better yet, make up something new, but as epic as this.

The Ribos Operation is a great character story. It's relatively plot-free and feels like Holmes invented a bunch of people and just put them together, on the planet Ribos. I mean, a comedy pair of con men, a melodramatic fallen prince and an alien version of Galileo Galilei? And yet it just clicks so well.

CHARACTERS

I love Romana as a companion so much. She has Rose's looks and Zoe's brains. And even better, she's played by Mary Tamm. Fun tidbit: Mary Tamm may have been of British nationality, but she's the daughter of Estonian immigrants(you can tell from her last name... it means "oak"). As an Estonian myself, she's a great role model. We ARE good enough to star in Doctor Who!

Paul Seed is magnificient as the Graff Vynda-K. The Graff is portrayed as a greedy, selfish warmonger, but at the same time, he is heartbroken when his last and most loyal general dies. His death scene could belong in Shakespeare, it is simply beautiful.

Iain Cuthbertson is equally wonderful in the lively, boisterous role of Garron, the trickster who sells planets he doesn't even own. Like the Graff, he is insidious and largely without morals, but at the same time friendly and genuinely cares about his younger pal, Unstoffe.

Nigel Plaskitt is a little too much of a sitcom actor for my liking(maybe that's just me), but does play the role well and strikes quite a chord with his meeting with Binro. Speaking of Binro...

he is played by Timothy Bateson, known to Harry Potter fans as the first actor to play Kreacher, which was also his final acting role before death. Like all the other actors, there's something both tragic and funny about him. He's an old scientist-turned-destitute, who was disgraced after suggesting that the stars are other suns. In fact, Binro almost steals the show(before the Graff and Garron take it right back). He has such a nice little subplot.

NOTES

*The editing in episode 1 is really haphazard, which kind of annoys me since that's the one that introduces the whole story arc.

*What exactly does the Key To Time do, especially if it's scattered across time and space? We get some stuff about evil overtaking the universe, but if the Key To Time exists to prevent it, why scatter it anyway? Isn't the risk of evil overtaking the universe bigger than the risk of them getting their hands on the Key? Either they get it and overtake the universe or they don't get it and you have a way to stop them from overtaking the universe.

I guess in essence, the Key To Time as a whole is a giant reboot button and in pieces, it's a crap antivirus.

*Also, how would anyone steal the Key from the White Guardian anyway? He looks pretty omnipotent to me, apart from his inability to find the segments himself.

*The city or castle or whatever, where this all takes place, is left very undefined. Why do the guards just let people walk in and out of the treasure room? Where is the treasure room anyway?

*I've been thinking for a while now that the Graff reminded me of someone and I finally got it just now: he's very similar to Hugh Laurie's "Gordon" character(in manners and appereance) from A Bit Of Fry And Laurie.

*Why does the Doctor conceal the existence of the Black Guardian from Romana?

*I love the Doctor's reaction when he realises he's been piloting the TARDIS for 500 years. I'm pretty sure now that 100 years is the equivalent of 10 years for a Time Lord. So 500 years is 50 years for him. Yeesh.

*The Romana-Doctor interplay does sort of herald in the smarminess of the Doctor-companion relationships in the new series, but thankfully, Romana doesn't appear egotistical. She just points out the facts.

*Why do the Graff's soldiers wear clothes in the Ancient Chinese style? I hate random "history in space" stuff, especially in good stories(read: Voyage Of The Damned and Mummy On The Orient Express).

*Let's face it, Binro's death was kind of silly. "I WAS right, right? You weren't just kidding?"

*After Binro is dead, Unstoffe lunges at the Graff's men and appears to get shot, but is then suddenly fine after that. Did I miss something?

BEST QUOTE

"You do know that sarcasm's an adjustive stress reaction?" - Maybe all that Clara needed was a nice trip to the beach?

CONCLUSION

A classic character drama opens what could be the best Doctor Who season. Stay tuned!

[rushy]

The Pirate Planet features some great concepts, dialogue and a fun cast, but is let down by the most convoluted plot the series has done so far.

WRITTEN BY

Douglas Adams of Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy(which I've never seen) fame. It's his first Doctor Who script. Not the worst start, but definitely disappointing for someone as well known as him.

PLOT

Whilst looking for the second segment of the Key To Time, the TARDIS crew materialise on the wrong planet only to discover that the right one has been gobbled up under the orders of a psychotic space pirate Captain. And his next target is Earth...

ANALYSIS

I am furious right now. That last episode was just godawful and almost completely deflated the wonderful Captain by revealing him to be just a puppet to some stupid holographic queen. I still have no idea what happened to the planets the Captain had captured. Or how Zanak can continue to exist if it's completely hollow from the inside. Or how they retrieved Calufrax.
It's the worst single episode of Doctor Who I think I've ever seen and had no place in a story with as much promise as this.

Other huge flaws in this story are poor direction(a hallmark of the Williams era, it must be said), lack of focus, some of the acting and even the characterisation of both the Doctor and Romana, which I'll get into below.

Fortunately, there's a lot of good humor in the story, plenty of great jokes and I absolutely adore all the pirate references. If they had kept it to the pirate analogy, it would've turned out just fine.

CHARACTERS

Tom Baker is really starting to annoy me. I thought I was okay with him not taking things seriously anymore(loved his flippancy in The Invasion Of Time), but his acting has become so bad. I've heard people online praise the "Appreciate it?!" scene, but all I could see was overblown pantomime. He delivers almost every single line unnaturally and his comedy has become excruciatingly annoying slapstick. The personality of the Fourth Doctor himself makes no sense to me anymore either. It's like every single scene he is in, he is trying to confuse everyone. At least let the audience in on the joke!

Meanwhile, Romana, who has such an epic start in the previous story, has basically nothing to do in this one, wears awful makeup and a crap costume and doesn't even have anything funny to say.

Most of The Pirate Planet is carried by the brilliant Captain. If it weren't for part four, he would've challenged my beloved BOSS(from The Green Death) as the most lovable Doctor Who villain ever. Just imagine an evil half-Darth Vader Brian Blessed trying to run a planet. But Adams just had to screw it up by making him a slave to the Queen, completely ruining him. If he was just a devious, pompous madman, it would've worked so much better, but now, he's not really an effective villain as far as I'm concerned. He's not even an effective character, he's just a tool. And he had so much potential!

The Captain's first mate is Mr. FIBULI!!!, a neurotic scientist working hard to keep himself alive. He's given a surprising amount of depth by the great performance of Andrew Robertson, who conveys someone so terrified that we're not really sure if he has or hasn't a moral center.
I also love that the Captain abuses him throughout the whole thing, but when he dies, he mourns him. One of the few beautiful moments of part four.

I'm also very happy with the development of K-9 and how he appears to be constantly evolving(adopting the phrase "piece of cake", for example) and even adapting to the Doctor's personality for some hilarious moments. His showdown with the Captain's parrot was a great idea, although not very well executed(apart from the perfect moment of him showing up with the parrot in his metaphorical teeth).

Pointless Queen with a pointless holographical cover is pointless and later becomes pointlessly the boss despite pointlessly contradicting the earlier now-pointless scenes. She's pointless.

I rather liked the Mentiads and how they were built up as a scary foe(they kind of reminded me of the inhabitants of Exxilon from Death To The Daleks with their raggedy clothes), but turned out to be the nice chaps.

Ralph Michael made a nice, minor appereance as the disbelieving Balaton. I'm only pointing him out because I loved his role in Jeeves & Wooster(as Bertie Wooster's uncle) and he was just utterly wasted here.

NOTES

*I love the Doctor's version of the story of how Isaac Newton discovered gravity.

*Tom Baker does the worst fake mumbling-in-sleep since that American guy in The Claws Of Axos.

*The town set is awful. The houses look fake, there's no reason given for the gemstones randomly lying about(if they are still considered to be treasure on the planet, then why abandon them?) and it came across very cheap and plasticky.

*Why was the hologram projector just lying around the time dam room?

*The parrot is just awfully executed in every way. Every time he takes off, they cheaply film close so the strings wouldn't be seen and then he has a badly CSO-d gun fight with K-9.

*The guards in this story are the worst shots in history(yes, worse than the Stormtroopers). They shoot so far away you'd wonder if their guns are malfunctioning.

*Nice to see the sonic getting a bit more action. It was gone for a loooong while during the Hinchcliffe years.

*I loved the jelly baby gag(although what was that circular candy?) with the air car.

*All of the TARDIS scenes in this story were lovely. The Doctor and Romana have such wonderful banter.

*I'm kind of annoyed that we didn't see the Doctor transform Calufrax into the second segment at the end. Would've been a better reminder to the kids of what this whole thing is about.

BEST QUOTE

DOCTOR: "Hello, K-9. Surprised to see us?"
K-9: *deadpan* "Amazed, master."

CONCLUSION

I had a lot of fun watching it, but in the end, all the fabulous ideas boiled up and exploded into nonsense. Worst anti-climax ever.

[rushy]

The Stones Of Blood marks a splendid return to Earth after the many wacky adventures we've had lately. It is also an occasion: I have officially watched 100 Classic Doctor Who stories!!

WRITTEN BY

David Fisher, who will go on to write a few more scripts under Graham Williams. Judging from this, he's a great writer. The story is simple and easy to follow, the characters are kept to a minimum and thus their full potential is explored and there's a lot of variety in the story.

PLOT

The TARDIS tracks the third segment of the Key To Time to somewhere in 20th century Cornwall, where the Doctor and Romana stumble upon a satanic ritual. Before long, they team up with the befuddled professor Remford and her assistant to uncover the alien influence behind the cult...

ANALYSIS

This is probably one of the most basic Doctor Who stories ever. The Doctor just comes in, solves the mystery, deals with the villain, goes back to the TARDIS. No UNIT filler, no subplots, nothing. Just good old teamwork.
I can imagine putting this story on anytime, it just flows so well. It's very relaxing, yet interesting too.

I love the final episode most of all, when half of it is spent on the excellent repartee between the professor, Romana and K-9 whilst the other half focuses on the Doctor's trial at the hands of the Megara, a truly fantastic Doctor Who creation. Basically, they're like a slightly more serious version of the robots in Dinosaurs On A Spaceship who operate as "justice machines"(judge, jury and executioner) who are trying to determine whether the Doctor should be executed for a minor crime.

CHARACTERS

Tom Baker is back on form after a few questionable performances recently(presumably because of the presence of acting legend Beatrix Lehmann) and seems to actually enjoy himself for the first time in a long while.

Romana... that red dress. *swoooon*

Susan Engel is a bit unsubtle, isn't she? I take one look at her and I'm already on edge. She has that syrupy Dolores Umbridge sweetness. Brrrrrr!

And then of course we have Beatrix Lehmann, who gives a wonderfully natural, slightly odd performance as professor Amelia Rumford(wouldn't it be an epic twist if Moffat somehow had her be future Amy Pond? Or am I just overthinking it?). Just like Grandma Tyler in Image Of The Fendahl, she feels real in a way that just elevates the whole thing.

NOTES

*Is that robot in Romana's cell a leftover prop from The Android Invasion? Can't see why else they'd have kept it in... EDIT: I was just kidding, but YES, that is actually an android from that story. They also had a Wirrn and an off-screen Sea Devil. I wonder if it was another attempt to celebrate or just to show off the various species that had been trapped there?

*If Tom Baker refused to film the cliffhanger to Episode One, couldn't they get a stunt double? It'd actually be creepier if we didn't see his face...

*How does this correlate with Frontier In Space and The Magician's Apprentice, where hyperspace is commonplace and it's even implied that the TARDIS travels through it?

*There's like a bajillion different things to celebrate this season. Not only is this story the 100th Doctor Who serial, but it's also technically the 15th anniversary "special". AND in a few stories, we'll have Doctor Who's 500th episode. Goodness gracious me.

*Speaking of anniversaries, a scene was almost added in where Romana and K-9 surprise the Doctor with a birthday cake, but this was cut pre-production by Graham Williams, who thought it was too indulgent. I ask you, how is celebrating the show's 15th anniversary indulgent? And we're talking about Graham Williams here!! It would've been a lovely addition.

*Does the Doctor ever wear his scarf properly? I don't think I've seen him properly tie it around his neck since season 13. I'm only saying this because I recently watched the clip from Robot when the Doctor first reveals his costume and it looks incredibly tidy compared to nowadays. Hat, scarf around his neck, perfect. Now the hat barely even leaves the TARDIS and the scarf is just sort of vaguely around his shoulders.

*You can tell that the TARDIS exterior has had some reworking done. The upper section looks a lot flatter.

*Well, the Doctor certainly got cosy there with Romana before that transport beam, eh...?

*Shouldn't the Doctor have been immediately prevented from taking the Diplos necklace by the Megara? Or did they just add it onto his "list" of crimes.

*Also, I'd love to see the Megara again. They did leave a nice opening for a return appereance, with the Doctor a fugitive and all.

*How come the Doctor initially says that the Megara wiped out a whole galaxy after condemning the Federation, but then they seem to have police officers and stuff? This is never brought up again, so did I hear mishear it?

*I don't like Vivien's costume. The silver body paint just looks silly(although the cleavage is admittedly nice, if I can be sexist for a moment).

*Whilst I love the words "inner time", I have no idea what they mean. I don't think Tom Baker does either.

*Isn't hyperspace a form of space travel? How can the ship be standing over the stone circle and still be in hyperspace?

CONCLUSION

It's a lot of fun, intelligent and requires no serious thinking. A classic.

[rushy]

The Androids Of Tara is easily the best story we've had since the Hinchcliffe days. A sizzling adventure tale of heroes and villains, love and hate, sci-fi and history.

WRITTEN BY

David Fisher, who hits the nail even better than last time. So far, so good.

PLOT

After tracking the fourth segment of the Key To Time to Tara, the Doctor takes a day off to go fishing(sorry to break in here, but that was the funniest thing I think I've ever seen the Doctor do), leading Romana to be captured by the greedy Count Grendel whilst retrieving the segment.

To rescue the lady, the Doctor pits his wits against the Count with the help of the Taran prince and his guards.

CHARACTERS

Tom Baker is completely in his element here, with many witty lines precooked for him, a marvellous villain to exchange barbs with and many comedy relief characters to suddenly transform into straight men next to the scarfed one himself. I love him in this.

Romana, too, is hilarious, with her princess-y tendencies highlighted in the brilliant closing episode with Princess Strella. I also love her confusion with the semi-medieval setting.

Peter Jeffrey is an unsubtle, theatrical villain. He's also utterly delicious in his performance. Completely captivating, utterly without morals and with a flair, he is by far the best part of this story and surprisingly enough, survives the ending!

Paul Lavers has a splendid role as Prince Reynart, a very likable aristocrat destined for the throne. Unfortunately, he spends the latter half of the story locked in Grendel's dungeon and portraying his android duplicate, which is a shame since he was great in the first half.

Declan Mulholland portrayed Till, Grendel's slobbering manservant/peasant lackey. An oddly memorable role in of itself, but Mulholland hides a far greater significance: he was the original actor to portray Jabba the Hutt in Star Wars.

Lois Baxter plays Lamia, a peculiar sort of role as Grendel's android expert/surgeon/peasant girl/ex-girlfriend... funny?

Paul Lavers is basically a walking recurring gag, an over-the-top "dashing young knight" who actually constantly screws up. This serial really has it all.

NOTES

*Although I absolutely adore the Doctor literally halting the narrative so he can go and fish, it does show off just how much of a comedy Doctor Who has become. I mean, the lead character couldn't care less that evil is about to dominate the universe!

*I also think that Romana's finding the Key To Time so early is a mixed bag. It could've been an excellent gimmick and the retrieval would've been more satisfying, but it's nice to see that not all of the segments need to be ludicrously hidden.

*This story has many similarities to the equally swashbuckling The Masque Of Mandragora(a prince in need, an evil count taking over the throne, a swordfight, nice location filming etc.). It's very Robin Hood.

*I don't really get the world of Tara. Just like Mummy On The Orient Express and Voyage Of The Damned, there's no explanation given to as to why the planet would copy human society and appereance so diligently, yet still have various gadgets handy like androids and blasters.

*However, unlike those stories, the sci-fi element is considerably toned down. In fact, the only time it really comes into play is during the android plot. The rest of it could've been done without the alien backstory. Maybe it wouldn't match up to any historical event?

*The scene where the Doctor presents the android Prince to the court is the most tense I've ever been in a Doctor Who story. I was literally pausing every other second, praying that the android worked. Great job, Fisher.

*So... Grendel. Beowulf much?

*How come the Doctor and Romana can get to everything they want from the TARDIS by walking through that one door? In The Invasion Of Time, it was a brickwalled corridor, in The Stones Of Blood it was a dark room and now it's the TARDIS wardrobe(with immediately the letter that Romana is looking for!). Does Romana have that excellent control over the TARDIS's dimensional transcendence?

*Also, I'm pretty sure that closet in the console room has never been there before.

*However, I am pleased with the reappearance of the Doctor-K9 chess matches(he even has a similar reaction to the TARDIS landing as he does in The Sun Makers). I especially like that they're playing on the floor, it makes the TARDIS console room seem much more like home.

*How did Romana manage to hold onto the Key To Time tracer throughout the whole story without Grendel ever taking it?

*I quite like Romana's Taran costumes in this story(designed by Mary Tamm herself).

*Well, the Doctor almost manages to look respectable... until a bit of his scarf is cut off and his hat is set on fire(after which it disappears). Well, he tried. In the name of fishing.

*The Doctor needs to practice fencing more. But sure enough, a few minutes with the Count and all his Sea Devils memories came right back...

*Fisher really couldn't have found a way for Romana to twist her ankle without involving some silly one-scene beast(i.e. a fur coat with a Halloween mask)?

*There's a lot of creativity in the direction this week... lots of great shots and ingenious uses of models.

BEST QUOTE

I was going to say the entire scene of the Count attempting to manipulate the Doctor, but looking it up, it's actually quite blandly written... just goes to show just what a marvellous job Tom Baker and Peter Jeffrey did with the scene.

CONCLUSION

The Androids Of Tara was so good, it's one of those ultrarare stories I watched straight, four episodes in one night. A tremendously well done send-up, as the British would say.

[rushy]

Merry Christmas Doctor Who started the trend of all those tiresome minisodes... all the way back in 1978!

It's a hilarious little improvised sketch that sees our heroes finally managing to get a break during their epic mission and celebrate Christmas by getting drunk on the floor of the console room.

Secrets are revealed... carols are sung... vodka(oh, I'm sorry, that's too European. It's gin actually) is drunk.

I love it.