Walterisms - The Place for Your Favorite Walter Quotes

[Todd's Pet]

Season 2, ep 14 when Peter tells him they're going to a case in New York by say, "We've won a free trip to New York".

Walter: Oh good... I;ve never won anything before.

And he looks so sweet and vulnerable. I love the way they show that someone who has been considered by others to be unconscienable, even evil, can be so vulnerable and child-like as well.


Same ep...
God has a sense of humour more twisted than even I could have imagined.

[Huaracocha]

".. and my latest project, singing corpses.

(corpse rendition of candy man)

Why not put a little life into the dead I say. The harmonies are still a little bit off."

[LtColCarter]

It's funny how Walter always gets Astrid's name wrong. The funniest was when he called her ostrich.

I know...I'm doing a rewatch of season one...and I never noticed it the first time through. Every time he says her name now, I'm listening intently! Its hilarous!

[LtColCarter]

Peter: What else aren't you telling me, Walter?

Walter: Lots, I'm sure.

[LtColCarter]

Olivia: What are you doing here?

Walter: We're trying to plug a hole in the universe. What are you doing here?

[LtColCarter]

Peter: You brought your own sweetener?

Walter: Don't be ridiculous. My medication.

Peter: You're not on any medication, Walter.

Walter: Of course I am. I've been making it myself in the lab.

Peter: Oh, I wish you were joking.

[starg8fans]

From Momentum Deferred:
WALTER: Let's see how this thing operates.
ASTRID: What are you saying, that this is not a person?
WALTER: My dear, I'm not certain that you're not simply a figment of my imagination

Also, I always LOL in Fracture when Peter unpacks a burger in the lab, and when he bites into it Gene moos loudly.
WALTER: Peter... if you are going to eat that cheeseburger in here, could you at least be a little discreet?

And one more from Inner Child:
WALTER: (to pediatritian) Unless you have an IQ higher than mine, I'm not interested in what you think.

[LtColCarter]

From Momentum Deferred:
WALTER: Let's see how this thing operates.
ASTRID: What are you saying, that this is not a person?
WALTER: My dear, I'm not certain that you're not simply a figment of my imagination

Also, I always LOL in Fracture when Peter unpacks a burger in the lab, and when he bites into it Gene moos loudly.
WALTER: Peter... if you are going to eat that cheeseburger in here, could you at least be a little discreet?

And one more from Inner Child:
WALTER: (to pediatritian) Unless you have an IQ higher than mine, I'm not interested in what you think.

I love those scenes

[starg8fans]

Found another in The Bishop Revival today:

WALTER: It simply requires a heat source to disperse it into the air.
OLIVIA: What about a cup of tea?
WALTER: Oh, yes, thank you. Hmm? Oh! Oh, yes, yes, that would work. As long as the water was hot enough.

[LtColCarter]

Walter: To understand what happened at the diner, we use Mr. Papaya.

[he places the papaya in the container and steps back]

Walter: This is upsetting because he is the friendliest of fruits.

[starg8fans]

WALTER: (to Peter, after a body falls from the roof and crashes onto a car right next to them) I sure hope agent Dunham meeant to do this.

[LtColCarter]

WALTER: (to Peter, after a body falls from the roof and crashes onto a car right next to them) I sure hope agent Dunham meeant to do this.

[starg8fans]

Just re-watched The Box, and there were several noteworthy Walterisms in that one:

WALTER: Peter, these cacao beans, they're inedible. Gene will never be able to digest them.
PETER: She's a cow, Walter. She could probably digest the frying pan.
BROYLES: What is he doing?
PETER: Oh, you don't want to know.
WALTER: I'm trying to make chocolate milk. Or rather, I'm trying to make the cow make chocolate milk.

WALTER: Nostradamus is said to have died standing up, but I highly doubt that someone who predicted his own death wouldn't have laid down.

WALTER: (looking at Astrid cutting thin cross-sections of brain for the microscope) Oh, that's very good, dear. Have you ever worked behind a deli counter?

PETER: (to Broyles) We're talking about two universes here. Two of each one of us. At this point, would anything really surprise you?
WALTER: Bacon-flavored pudding. That would surprise me.

[FringeFan84]

:eter hangs up phone after talking to Olivia::
Walter: What was that about? Is everything ok?

Peter: Yeah, I tried charging some Lakers/Knicks tickets to our expense account and she caught me.

Walter: Oh dear, I hope she doesn't the $12,000 in baboon sperm I ordered. Now that I think about it, I can't remember what I needed it for.

[starg8fans]

:eter hangs up phone after talking to Olivia::
Walter: What was that about? Is everything ok?

Peter: Yeah, I tried charging some Lakers/Knicks tickets to our expense account and she caught me.

Walter: Oh dear, I hope she doesn't the $12,000 in baboon sperm I ordered. Now that I think about it, I can't remember what I needed it for.

LOL, totally forgot about that one. That must be from the very beginning, isn't it?

This one's more recent, from Entrada. A Walter double whammy.

WALTER: It's all because of that temptress. She tricked my son with her carnal manipulations and he fell right into her vagenda.
ASTRID: Vagenda?
WALTER: Like Mata Hari using her feminine wiles to accomplish her evil ends. And I too fell prey. She used my stomach to get through to my heart.

The way John Noble delivered those lines was just priceless.