Walterisms - The Place for Your Favorite Walter Quotes

[AresLover452]

totally love the bickering! It was what made the show for me!! lol!

[starg8fans]

totally love the bickering! It was what made the show for me!! lol!

At least Peter still deflects Walter's more outspoken moments with sarcasm. For instance, in Marionette:


WALTER: A couple of nights ago, I used my cauterizer to remove an uncomfortable growth between my...
PETER: ... less information, better.
[...]
WALTER: I understand how difficult it is to be candid with people that you care about, uh, particularly when it concerns matters that are intimate in nature.
PETER: Ready to go?
WALTER: Yes, I am. And by intimate, I mean sexual.
PETER: Yeah, I got that.

And another Walter gem a bit later:

WALTER: He was conscious and speaking without a functional cardiovascular system?
BROYLES: It appears so.
WALTER: Lady Fortune has smiled upon us.

Only Walter could get that excited about a living, talking corpse...

[AresLover452]

Oh yes!! and that is why we love him!! lol!!

[LtColCarter]

"It's perfectly understandable, son. In the 'Seventies', I innocently wandered into the wrong home and it was three days before I realized my mistake. And unlike Olivia, the woman with whom I was sharing a bed didn't look like my wife at all."

[AresLover452]

"It's perfectly understandable, son. In the 'Seventies', I innocently wandered into the wrong home and it was three days before I realized my mistake. And unlike Olivia, the woman with whom I was sharing a bed didn't look like my wife at all."

Only Walter would take three days to realize his mistake!! lmao!! Love him!

[starg8fans]

From The Equation:

PETER: The U.S. Government had you working on mind control?
WALTER: Not the government. It was an advertising agency. They hoped to broadcast the flashing lights during commercials so that the viewers would have no choice but to buy their products. Unfortunately, it merely caused nausea. Which was unfortunate because apparently, people don't like to shop when they feel like they're going to throw up.

Only Walter can say something like this with complete detachment and a straight face. Same as the following from the same episode:

WALTER: Dashiell Kim. The man who mentioned the lights to me. I'm sure of it.
OLIVIA: Where is he Walter? Can we talk to him?
WALTER: I guess that would depend on whether he has succeeded in killing himself or not.

[AresLover452]

Peter: *staring at the lights then is brought out of it by Astrid*
Astrid: Nice look chachi...
Peter: *Has scissors in hand* Walter did you do this to me?
Walter: No, you did.

[LtColCarter]

Peter: *staring at the lights then is brought out of it by Astrid*
Astrid: Nice look chachi...
Peter: *Has scissors in hand* Walter did you do this to me?
Walter: No, you did.

[starg8fans]

Peter: *staring at the lights then is brought out of it by Astrid*
Astrid: Nice look chachi...
Peter: *Has scissors in hand* Walter did you do this to me?
Walter: No, you did.

Yup, that was a good one too.

My favorite Walter moment from Dreamscape, when he examines the guy who had jumped out of the window to get away from the butterflies:

WALTER (with a sideways glance at Peter): It's a shame I don't have a lab - I'd like to examine him.
PETER: You do have a lab, Walter. Your lab at Harvard.
WALTER (with a sly smirk): Yes, I do, don't I?

I loved the fact that he'd come far enough to be able to joke about his forgetfulness.

[AresLover452]

Yup, that was a good one too.

I love all the banter!! lol! Forget Kids say the darnedest things..... WALTER SAYS THE DARNEDEST THINGS.... lol!!

[LtColCarter]

I love all the banter!! lol! Forget Kids say the darnedest things..... WALTER SAYS THE DARNEDEST THINGS.... lol!!

I agree with you 110% there!

[AresLover452]

I agree with you 110% there!

lmao!! he does and all of them are jewels of wisdom.... LSD induced wisdom... for those sober enough to listen... lol!

[russell]

"Delicious strawberry flavored death!"

(while examining a corpse) "Oh dear god that is putrid... On a separate topic, do you like coffee cake?"

[hypnometal]

Here's one I haven't seen on this thread:

"Oh! I just pissed myself! Just a little squirt."

[LtColCarter]

Here's one I haven't seen on this thread:

"Oh! I just pissed myself! Just a little squirt."

I've missed this thread...glad to see it up and alive again!

[Don Pantaloons]

Walter (having just come up the steps from the subway station): Kent Street. I frequented a massage parlor just around the corner. I used to get off right here.

Peter: Sure hope you're talking about the station, Walter.

[LtColCarter]

Walter (having just come up the steps from the subway station): Kent Street. I frequented a massage parlor just around the corner. I used to get off right here.

Peter: Sure hope you're talking about the station, Walter.