Cantina Wars
Episode IV �A New Post�
WAR! The King of Toon has been brain washed by Skydiver, The Grand Empress.
With Gatworld (the ruling poster of Gateworld) under her control, she leads the mods on crushing campaign against First Amendment rights of the posters of Gateworld.
However an Ex Mod who was kicked out for standing up for the little guy, Mapp, has gathered a brave but small group of posters in the Gateworld Cantina thread. This rebellion has become a
Pain In Sky�s behind.
Now as Rebel posters do battle with Mods, An envoy carrying secret information on the mod�s
most powerful weapon makes its way to the cantina�
Onboard the Tok�ra transport ship, Squirrely1 and Col. Foley run around franticly as the ship is attacked.
Squirrely1:
we are doomed!
Col. Foley: I am sure that the Princess will be safe
Squirrely1: Foley, Foley, Foley. This time there is no safety! The Grand Empress will have us gutted!
As the two continue to run frantic, Cantina Troopers rush to the main hatch and prepare to be boarded by one of Sky�s goons. As they wait in fear, there is an eerie silence, save for the bickering of Squirrely1 and Col. Foley.
Then the hatch is blown open as the Mod�s goons attack. After a short battle between the goons and the Cantina rebels, the goons win out. In came Darth Clanger
Darth Clanger: Where is the captain?
Trooper Jper: He is right here
Jper singles out the captain, and Darth Clanger moves in and pins the captain down using her spoon of doom!
Darth Clanger: Where are the codes to the smite button!
Captain 343_guilty_spark: �I�Don�t know�what you are talking about�this is �a�diplomatic ship!
In her rage due to the lack of cooperation, Darth Clanger spoons Sparky to death.
Darth Clanger: I want those codes and I want them NOW
Trooper Jper: Yes ma�am, right away! You heard her goons! Find the Princess and get those codes!!
Meanwhile in a secret area of the cargo ship Susanne met up with Col. Foley and gave him the codes plus a recorded message
Susanne: Help me Jelgate, you are my only hope.
As Squirrely1 saw Susanne run off, she got near Col. Foley and he suggested that they should escape in an escape pod.
Suirrely1: You want to share an escape pod? how can you think of that sort of thing when we are in the middle of a battle!
Col. Foley: Not that my love! I mean we need to get this message to Jelgate!
Squirrely1: Oh Foley, If only I was as brave as you.
as the two hurried off to the pod, Darth Clanger found the Princess.
Darth Clanger: Where are the codes?
Susanne: I haven�t a clue of what you are talking about
Darth Clanger: Lies! You are a rebel and a traitor! Now take her away!!
After Jper has sent Susanne to the torture room Darth Clanger ordered that the thread planet below be searched for the missing cantina couple.
Meanwhile the droid couple arrives in the �Ban the poster above� thread, a desert and desolate planet. As the Droid couple wondered in the desert they were attacked by Shippers!!!
Deep in the middle of a moisture farm there was a young lad, Pharaoh Atem who yearned for something bigger. Today His uncle and aunt are buying a pair of droids to help out around the farm.
AtlantisRules!!!: Well these droids work efficiently?
Shippers: Ship ship ship. Ship ship. Ship.
AtlantisRules: Okay, Hey PA! what do you think about this droids?
AtlantisRules shows the droids to his nephew
Pharaoh Atem: They look fine to me uncle
Draygon: PA! Dinner is ready! Get your uncle!
Pharaoh Atem: OK aunt Dray!
As they sat in the dinner table they began to talk
Pharaoh Atem: I want to the academy this year.
AtlantisRules!!!: No, we will need an extra hand for the next harvest.
Pharaoh Atem: But, I want to leave this thread! there is nothing here! All of my friends have already gone of exploring the forums. And I am stuck here.
Draygon: honey, you must forgive your uncle, he only wants the best for you.
Pharaoh Atem: I�ll go check on the droid couple�
As PA left his uncle and Aunt arguing over the situation he entered his room only to find Col. Foley and Squirrely engaged in a romantic embrace together.
Pharaoh Atem: Hey! Stop that, we don�t you two to make more droids
Squirrely1: Sorry master.
Col. Foley: He is not our master
Squirrely1: Quite! Can�t you see that we were sold to him!
Pharaoh Atem: hey, what�s that in your hands?
As PA takes the recording away from Foley it plays to show a beautiful lady
�With this Droid couple lies the plans for the Smite button that the mods have been cooking up. You must take these plans to the �Admiral�s multi thunker lounge thread� and hand it over to the |Cantina Alliance. Help me Jelgate, you are my only hope�
Pharaoh Atem: Jelgate? She must mean Jelly Gate, the old hermit that visits me every now and then.
So PA and the droid couple went out to seek out Jelgate. Later they ran into Jelly Gate who took them into his home and they had a conversation.
Pharaoh Atem: So what was that message all about? Are you part of the Cantina Rebellion?
Jelgate: Long ago I was part of the Spoon Jedi, we used the power of the spoon to protect the rights of the posters and aid the Mods in providing a fun environment for fans of stargate to socialize. Then my apprentice, Major Clanger turned to the dark side of the Spoon and \killed all Spoon Jedi. I am the Last of the Spoon Jedi.
Pharaoh Atem: So Is it true that Skydiver caused this?
Jelgate: She is a wrenched power mad mod. She killed Darren and seduced Gateworld, the poster, to the Dark side. No matter what they say, she is the one incharge.
Pharaoh Atem: I don�t know, this all seems too much for someone like me.
Jelgate: No, I sense the Spoon in you. If you come with me to the Multi Thunk Thread I can train you to use the Spoon and defeat Sky and her goons.
So PA agreed on letting Jelgate accompany him home, only to find that his home was in ruins. Destroyed. He found a Picture of Dr. Keller on the ground.
Jelgate: Trooper Jper! One of the Mods aids it seems.
Pharaoh Atem: NO!! WHY!
Fine, I�ll join your rebellion.
Jelgate: I am sorry, but you must remember, this is not about revenge. It is about justice and freedom.
Squirrely1: Take a look at this guy, Foley. He is SOOOO old fashioned.
Col. Foley: come on my love, let us move to the transport meanwhile these two talk it off.
Squirrely1:
honestly Foley, is that all you ever think of?
Col. Foley:
As PA and Jelage and the droid couple make their way to Mos Banned They are stooped by Jper and his marry band of goons
Jper: Hold it right there! Papers now!
Jelgate: (waves spoon) These are not the droids you are looking for.
Jper: (Distracted by shiny spoon) Oh, shiny!....move along, move along
Meanwhile in deep Forum space onboard the Death Smite button star. Princess Susanne is found captive by Darth Clanger and his minion Madeleine.
Madeleine: You well tell us where Mapp is or I will destroy your precious Multi Thunk thread.
Susanne: Never!
Madeleine: Comander! Power up the smite button!
Susanne: Wait! I�ll talk! He is in the Church of Mappothism thread!
Madeleine: Good. Comander FIRE!!
Susanne:
NO!
The Comander pushed the smite button and the Multi Thunk thread along with all of its posts were deleted and its many posters banned or in moderation.
Susanne: But I told you what you wanted to hear!
Madeleine: You foolish little girl, you think I would risk the wrath of the Grand Empress?
A few moments later Darth Clanger came into the interrogation room with Madeleine and the two mods began to talk.
Darth Clanger: That thread only had an abandoned Cantina base.
Madeleine: It seems that we will need more�persuasive tools in order to get her to talk.
Just then on the overhead projector screen Came the image of Skydiver, the Grand Empress. She was surrounded by the best looking men and she herself was dressed in an elaborate yet revealing robe. She sat with her legs crossed as a smitten poster known as Gateworld sat by gazing into her paralyzed by her beauty.
Skydiver: How long until you retrieve the the codes?
Darth Clanger: My master, I have the Princess in custody and she will soon reveal the codes.
Skydiver: And what of Mapp�s whereabouts? I have a new sword I want to try on thim. Oh how I do enjoy cutting them up while they scream
Madeleine: (Quietly to Clanger) She is one freaky evil moderator, no?
Darth Clanger: (Quietly to Madeleine) Quite! If she hears you she�ll use her new sword on us!
Madeleine: (to Sky) We are having some trouble locating him my empress.
Skydiver: Well find him soon, my sword is very thirsty for blood!
Just then the transmission ended and the two went o
A gift for the Mods! "The Cantina Wars"
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Originally Posted by Girlbot
