SGA facts... Chuck Norris Style

[IrishPisano]

Ronon tried to sell himself on ebay but the auction was shut down. Apparently the Ebay servers cannot handle 560,083,726 consecutive bids and crashed.

Ronon and Teal'C were planning to remake the film, Blades of Glory and actually include knives... but production was shut down when not a single person was willing to walk onto set while Ronon and Teal'C were holding knives.

Carter can solve a Rubik's Cube. Ronon can make McKay solve one for him.

[naamiaiset]

the shockwave generated from a chuck norris roundhouse kick is more lethal than an atlantis nuke.

[IrishPisano]

the shockwave generated from a chuck norris roundhouse kick is more lethal than an atlantis nuke.

can't argue with that...

The Enterprise may have boldly gone where no man had gone before... but Ronon Dex goes where he dang well pleases...

[naamiaiset]

the atlantis shield isn't to keep people in, it's to keep chuck norris out.

[IrishPisano]

Ronon wanted to join the crew of the Northwestern on Deadliest Catch... but Captain Sig Hansen refused, saying that he didn't want to prove the title of the show was true...

[naamiaiset]

ronon is only filling in til chuck norris gets tired of kicking @ss on earth.

[IrishPisano]

George Clooney and Fabio challenged Ronon to a fight.
Ronon sent McKay as his proxy.
Ronon still won.

[naamiaiset]

George Clooney and Fabio challenged Ronon to a fight.
Ronon sent McKay as his proxy.
Ronon still won.

that's it, I give up. you're unbeatable.

[IrishPisano]

that's it, I give up. you're unbeatable.

eh... i know...

lol

i do get some good ones once in a while... but i also get some crappy ones... the more shots you take, the better chance you have of hitting the target


Ronon took a shot of Bacardi 151 once... then asked for, "another shot of this sugary water"...

[IrishPisano]

Colonel John Sheppard and Captain James T. Kirk walked into a bar...
The bar exploded from too much coolness...

Zelenka..... uhm..... Zelenka once.... dang... Zelenka's done nothing cool

[IrishPisano]

Emperor Palpatine needs several thousand storm troopers and a gigantic spaceship to blow up a planet...

McKay needs only 20 minutes in an Ancient science lab to blow up an entire solar system
(well 5/6, its not an exact science)

[IrishPisano]

This has nothing to do with Stargate, but i thought it was funny anyway:

Last week, Mr. T. turned all of his gold chains over to the US government to erase our national debt and rebound the economy.
He received 6 of his chains back as change.

[kiku65]

Reposted from the sg-1 thread (because I'm a dweeb...)

*Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Ronon Dex's glare can liquefy your kidneys.
* Ronon Dex does not need a comlink. His dreadlocks pick up incoming eletrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
*When Ronon Dex does division, there are no remainders. Only body parts.
*Ronon Dex was once in a knife fight. The knife lost.
*The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Ronon Dex.
*Ronon Dex doesn't sleep. He waits.

[IrishPisano]

Resistance may be futile for the Borg, but it makes the meal all the more tasty for the Wraith...

[IrishPisano]

Ronon's tears can completely reverse the Wraith mutation... sadly, like Chuck Norris, Ronon does not cry.

The solar flare that shot Sheppard 48,000 years into the future was not a solar flare, but the shockwave from a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

[naamiaiset]

Reposted from the sg-1 thread (because I'm a dweeb...)

*Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Ronon Dex's glare can liquefy your kidneys.
* Ronon Dex does not need a comlink. His dreadlocks pick up incoming eletrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
*When Ronon Dex does division, there are no remainders. Only body parts.
*Ronon Dex was once in a knife fight. The knife lost.
*The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Ronon Dex.
*Ronon Dex doesn't sleep. He waits.

pisano, I think you have competition.

[IrishPisano]

pisano, I think you have competition.

i hope so... it gets boring being the only one posting...


Richard Woolsey has patented and is now marketing a new and ultra-powerful laxative sure to make you run for the bathroom within seconds........ It is a 5x7 picture of Ronon Dex.

Ronon scared the black out of Michael Jackson.

McKay knows what Willis is talking about.

[IrishPisano]

Ronon went on record that he does not wail on sissy boys.
The Wraith subsequently placed an order with Lacoste for several billion pink polo shirts.
Little do they know, but Ronon said this so it would be easier to find sissy boys to wail on.

[kingzing]

Zelenka..... uhm..... Zelenka once.... dang... Zelenka's done nothing cool

Zelenka is the essence of cool

[naamiaiset]

wraith watched a chuck norris training video and the phrase "scared enough to turn your hair white" was born.