Sorry for the delay in the recap. My family and I were at the beach on Monday night. But, never fear....we had a television in the hotel room. Unfortunately, I also had my 7 and 9 year old daughters in the hotel room so I had to watch 24 while standing about 6 inches away from the screen (in order to block their view....they were supposed to be sleeping those little stinkers!!!!) with the sound turned down really low, so there were parts where what I got from the dialog sounded suspiciously like the in-room heater fan.
OK, so......what happened?
Well, as has been previously mentioned, Martouf was on. (He looks really different when your face is only six inches away from his face....he has lots of tiny little red and green and blue blotches. He should really see a dermatologist about that.) Apparently, Martouf and Ricky Schroder have some sort of "history". I'm thinking they went to grade school together and Martouf was the kid that always told on Ricky for copying and passing notes and the like. Martouf passed a note to Ricky and then went and tattled on Ricky to Milo who then went ballistic on Ricky whilst ratting him out to the Principal...er..uh..I mean Bill until Morris managed to rouse himself from his lingering self-loathing and alcohol non-metabolizing and told everyone that Ricky gave him (Morris) the information that proved Nadia's innocence so then Milo apologized to Ricky and then Bill turned down the lights and made everyone put their heads down on their desks until they calmed down and then they all went out to recess where Ricky told Martouf that he (Martouf) had messed around with the wrong washed up child actor this time!!!
Bill then went down and released Nadia. Nadia was kind of mad and considered quitting despite still having very neat and tidy hair and a blouse that appears to be some sort of straight jacket with an extra pair of sleeves....one set for your arms and one to wrap around your torso. Bill said "Get over it. Sooner or later everyone at CTU spends some time handcuffed to a chair and being interrogated until the writers get back to the main plot and stop padding the episodes with the silly CTU stuff." Nadia said "Fair enough. I'll get right back to work."
Then came the encounter in the hall:
Milo: "Nadia, I'm so sorry."
Nadia: "Yea. Whatever."
Milo: "I'm going to kiss you long and deep and wet even though you're mad at me."
Nadia: "Yea. Whatever."
Nadia: "You do realize all the interior walls in this building are made of quite transparent glass, right? In fact, I see Chloe staring at us right now. She looks like she's just eaten an egg-salad sandwich from the vending machine and then realized it hasn't been serviced in 4 months."
Milo: "How the heck do you undo this crazy blouse you're wearing?!?!?"
OK, that's it for CTU for this episode. Next up: PRESIDENT COMA/VICE-PRESIDENT STRANGELOVE
Karen: "Sandra, we have to wake up Wayne because Vice-President Strangelove is going to nuke some arbitrary country in the Middle East."
Sandra: "Well, the Doctor did say waking him up would probably cause swelling of the head, but I think Wayne's head is already swollen to the maximum level, so.....OK, go ahead."
Doctor: "OK, I'm going to inject some of this juice into this here tube."
Sandra and Karen: "Hmmm. This is pretty good coffee for a hospital vending machine."
Doctor: "He's crashing!!!!!"
The rest of this apparently happened off-screen while we were viewing the bunker:
Sandra and Karen: "Oh, sorry Doctor. We've accidentally spilled our coffee on the monitoring equipment."
Doctor: "Oh good. Hey, look! President Boring is waking up."
Wayne: "Get me whichever submarine is closing in on the arbitrary Middle-Eastern country ASAP!!!!"
Sandra and Karen and Doctor: "Why?"
Wayne: "Because I've got to stop Vice-President Strangelove's nuclear attack!"
Sandra and Karen and Doctor: "How did you know about that?"
Wayne: "I've been watching the last few episodes. Why did you think I was in a coma??!?! (buh-dun-dun!)"
Meanwhile, three blocks from CTU (I think. I may be confused here as the in-room heater was really blowing up a storm right about here.):
Jack and a bunch of guys break into a house with a guy and his idiot-savant brother (who doesn't eat red food). Jack shoots normal guy. Brother is upset. Jack gets all tender and nice to idiot-savant guy. Jack gets normal brother to tell other brother to give the files (don't ask me what files) to Gredanko when Gredanko comes by. Jack gives idiot-savant brother a little earwig so he can hear Jack. Jack has idiot-savant brother stand directly between Gredanko and the sniper armed with tranquilizer darts so that the suspense will be increased. Jack really knows how to make his viewers sit on the edge of their seats. Jack waits until the absolute second to tell idiot-savant brother to duck so that tranquilizer dart will hit Gredanko.
Jack and Gredanko have a little chat during which Jack is disappointed to learn that Gredanko has heard about the Presidential Pardon Get Out Of Jail Free Cards that Jack carries around in his pocket so Jack won't be able to torture Gredanko.
Meanwhile, over in the bunker:
VPStrangelove: "Are we ready to attack?"
Unnamed military guy: "Yup."
Girl from that show where the lights came out of the sky and they were aliens or something: "Sir, CTU is on the line."
Bill: "Hello. In spite of floating rib fragments, Jack has captured Gredanko so we'll be able to find the last two nukes and you won't have to bomb Fayed's country."
VPStrangelove: "Uh.....wrong number." (click) "Launch the bombs!!"
Numb3rs guy: "But....I'm still giving some sort of report here."
Abovementioned girl: "Sir, the phone's for you."
Wayne: "Haha! I'm awake! I called the submarine and told them you're a big dork and they don't have to do what you say!!!"