Joseph Mallozzi's Blog! (SPOILERS For All SG Shows and Dark Matter)

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April 14, 2014

Videos: KFC Chicken Corsage #HowDoYouKFC, Wheel of Fortune - Achilles Who? Dicespin What? (Apr. 11, 2014), Study Finds Earth Located In Lamest Part Of Universe

Photo: Stargate: Atlantis


Awww, this is sweet. And salty. And risky! http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/...-prom/7705419/

World’s Fastest…cat? Wheel of Fortune’s Worst Contestant. http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/p...uzzle/7710211/

And in science news: http://www.theonion.com/articles/stu...-univer,35688/

Cat burglars beware! Dog summoned for jury duty. http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/...FlowFB_PHBrand

And we continue our SGA re-watch with...First Contact!

Hey! Another great episode. We’re on a roll! Lots to love about this fast-paced episode (compliments of golden boy Martin Gero) but, of course, at the top of the list is special guest archaeologist...Dr. Daniel Jackson. Loved the rapid-fire interplay between him and McKay. But, again, who cares what I thought. What did Akemi think?

She took an immediate shine to Daniel (“He is handsome!”) who she thought looked kind of familiar (“He looks like Jeff from Community.”).

Less a fan of their super quick dialogue which she had trouble following, eventually giving up with: “Faster! Faster!” Still: “He is very nice looking guy. Just speaks too fast.”

After Rodney was whisked away by the aliens, leaving Zalenka to lead the science charge: “Now’s his chance!” I pointed out that if he really impresses and takes over the science team, what would become of McKay? A fair point. She’s a fan of Rodney McKay as well – although she doesn’t like the fact that everyone calls him Rodney now instead of McKay.

She continues to enjoy Robert Picardo’s turn as Richard Woolsey: “Bob is funny. I like his character. Nice and warm.”

And misses Mike Dopud: “Too bad Mike Dopud is not in this episode.”

Another round of compliments to Mark Savela and the VFX team, especially for the “shield guy scene” that was, in her estimation, “very Final Fantasyish.”

Overall, a most enjoyable episode – though maybe a little too fast-paced: “So manny things happening. Hard to organize my brain.”

Today’s entry is dedicated to birthday gal Jovanna!

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April 15, 2014

Photos: Goose Neck Barnacles, Stargate: Atlantis


I’m a fairly adventurous eater and I’m always up for trying something new. I may not like everything I sample but I will, for the most, give it a go. Seafood City, in the Granville Island Public Market, can always be counted upon to have a few surprises along with their regular, more mainstream assortment of oysters, clams, crab, sea bass, rainbow trout, various salmons, etc.. It’s my go-to place for fresh fish and seafood AND the occasional unique offerings. Like the other day when I happened to come across the above-pictured Goose Neck Barnacles on display. Sure, I thought, they look ugly. But why the hell not? And, after getting quick rundown on their cooking and preparation, I headed home with a handful to check ‘em out…so YOU don’t have to.

The instructions were fairly straightforward. Boil them for five minutes in salted water, rinse with cold water, then remove the outer layer that will unfurl like…well, let’s say a sock. Serve with a dipping sauce of your choice and, voila, they’re ready to eat...

Mmmm. Tasty-looking, no?

Not bad, but a little sandy. And, while interesting, it doesn’t rank up there with the equally special likes of sea urchin or skate wing.

Agree? Disagree? What’s your take on them?

Continuing our Stargate: Atlantis re-watch with...The Lost Tribe!

Hunh. Interesting. As much as she enjoyed the first part of this mid-season two-parter, Akemi couldn’t muster much enthusiasm for this one. I think the problem was that, while Part I was incredibly fast-paced and raised many questions, Part II bogged down in the answers – many of which went right over her head: the Asgard, their cloning issues, the Travellers, Larrin, etc. “This episode feel so long,”she sighed at one point.

When McKay and Daniel have a lengthy discussion regarding how the device affects wraith hyperspace drives, the gates, and how they can stop it: “Don’t talk. Just do it!”

When the Asgard revealed himself: “Oh, so cute! Look at him!”

And during the inside the suit Iron Man POV: “Cool.”

This episode’s final space battle was the first she didn’t enjoy: “I couldn’t tell which ship was which.”

She questioned the suddenly verdant Atlantis in a later scene: “Why so green?”

And, finally, she was quite disappointed that the Ronon-McKay romantic rivalry fizzled out so quickly: “So handsome guy so sad because Jewel doesn’t like him? I wanted to see geek vs. handsome guy situation!”

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April 16, 2014

Video: Dog fight

Photo: Stargate: Atlantis


Dog fight!

Continuing our Stargate: Atlantis re-watch with...Outsiders!

Hunh. I assumed Akemi would enjoy The Lost Tribe, but she found it slow-paced and confusing. I figured she wouldn’t like Outsiders, but she was entertained throughout. While I wouldn’t rank it among her favorites, she did prefer it over the previous episode: “I felt quicker than last episode.”

Still, plenty of nitpicks of Outsiders:

When leader Elson sneaks back into town wearing a cloak to hide his identity: “Why he is hiding? From who?” Good question.

When Elson makes his pitch to “Shrekish-looking guy”, seemingly betraying the Atlantis team and the outsiders: “What? Whatwhatwhat?!” And then suspicious: “Why Jervis trusted so simply?”

When Beckett taunts the wraith, Akemi wondered why the wraith didn’t just feed on him. And when, seconds later, he tries – and dies in excruciating pain: “Wraith is as dumb as I am.”

After Sheppard triggers the explosion, killing the wraith – as well as “Shrekish-looking guy” and his fellow townspeople: who, it turns out, were entrapped by Elson and Sheppard: “Why he did that? He’s supposed to be hero?!”

When McKay figures out how to re-jib the dart so that it deposits him and Beckett on the planet rather than scoop anyone up off the surface: “How he figured that out? Oh, right. Because he is genius.”

On the with-only-seconds-to-spare escape through the gate: “Of course.”

And after “everyone” escapes: “They said six hundred to seven people in the village, but we only see forty escape. What happened to everyone else?” Hello? Extras casting?

Speaking of unanswered questions: “What happened to the group that was delivered to gate first? Where did they go?” Er. Um. Transported up to the hive ship? No. They escaped too? Uh, no. I guess they were killed? “Usually the episodes make sense. Here a bunch of actors and actresses are missing.”

She felt the episode was lacking a little something. A little Robert Picardo: “I was sad the fact I couldn’t see Woolsey-Bob.”

Overall, however, she didn’t find the episode offensive and gave it this ringing endorsement: “Not bad. I don’t mind. I just hated Jervis. Reminds me of Top Chef Canada contestant.”

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April 17, 2014

Photo: Stargate: Atlantis


Hey! Great news, Mrs. Doubtfire fans. 21 years later, a sequel is finally in the works: http://www.cinemablend.com/new/Mrs-D...rks-42606.html

It will follow in the rich tradition of Basic Instinct 2, Blues Brothers 2000, Escape from L.A, and Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights – as sequels that were released after over a decade had passed since the original graced the big screen. Here are some notable others...

The Evening Star, sequel to Terms of Endearment, released 13 years later.

The Two Jakes, sequel to Chinatown, released 16 years later.

An American Werewolf in Paris, sequel to An American Werewolf in London, released 16 years later.

The Rage: Carrie II, sequel to Carrie, released 22 years later.

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, sequel to Wall Street, released 22 years later.

Psycho II, sequel to Psycho, released 22 years later.

The Odd Couple II, sequel to The Odd Couple, released 29 years later.

And here are some sequels either rumoured to be in the works, in production, or coming soon to a theater near you...

Bad Santa 2 (11 years later)

Beetlejuice 2 (16 years later)

Blade Runner 2 (22 years later)

Dumb and Dumber To (20 years later)

Goonies 2 (29 years later)

Independence Day 2 (18 years later)

Rounders 2 (26 years later)

Shakespeare in Love 2 (16 years later)

Top Gun 2 (28 years later)

Trainspotting 2 (18 years later)

Triplets (sequel to Twin – 26 years later)

Who Framed Roger Rabbit 2 (26 years later)

Zoolander 2 (13 years later)

Which one are you looking forward to the least?

The afore-mentioned lists got me thinking about some of the great movies that REALLY need sequels. Dear Hollywood, if they’re not already in the works, might I suggest:

The Sixth Sense 2: The Seventh Sense

Apocalypse Now 2: I Love the Smell of Napalm at Night Too!

Forrest Gump 2: Still Running

Casablanca 2: Play It Again, Sam

Better Off Dead 2: I Want my Two Dollars! Plus Interest! Which Would Now Make it About Two Fifty!

A Few Good Men: You Couldn’t Handle the Truth So We Apportioned it over Two Movies

Titanic 2: My Heart Still Going On

On the Waterfront 2: The Contender

Taxi Driver 2: Are You STILL Talkin’ to Me?

Field of Dreams 2: If You Produce It, They Will Come

Gone With the Wind: Tomorrow is Another Movie

Citizen Kane 2: Charlie and Rosebud, the Early Years

Continuing our Stargate: Atlantis re-watch with...Inquisition!

Clip show alert! Clip show alert! Alas, the notion of the money-saver was completely lost on Akemi who, partway through Inquisition, turned to me, brow furrowed and remarked: “Just replaying parts of episodes we’ve already seen.” Well, yes. That’s the point of the clip show, the high point of any season. It’s a very special episode that, in its short run time, manages to pack in all of the very best of what has come before. It’s like a bowlful of only the red skittles. That have passed, undigested through the alimentary canal of an Asian palm civet cat.

Apparently, they don’t do that sort of thing in Japan.

Surprisingly, however, this episode went over quite well, owing to the fact that many of these repeat clips were actually new to Akemi who missed seasons 2 through 4. Plenty of “oohs” and “aaahs” throughout those amazing space battles.

“Toby!” she called when actor Thobias Slezak – and occasional guest to our home during the football season – showed up on screen. Although it was, I thought, a sizeable enough appearance, she was somewhat disappointed: “Toby’s part is very small again [a reference to his turn as the doomed Peter in SGU's Visitation]. Too small!”

And a minor quibble for the prop department. She hated the glasses Woolsey and Sheppard were drinking whisky out of at episode’s end because we own those very same glasses and it shattered the illusion: “Same glass as you are drinking almond milk out of.”

Overall, even though she had a hard time following (and I had an equally hard time explaining): “I liked it. I was happy to see so much computer graphics. I liked the fact it summarized everything because I missed so many episodes.” And, she’s up to date!

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April 18, 2014

Photos: Akemi’s birthday, Stargate: Atlantis


Akemi’s birthday...

Continuing our Stargate: Atlantis re-watch with...The Prodigal!

Another Carl Binder-san spectacular. I loved this episode even more on repeat viewing. It’s got action, humor, and high-stakes developments with all of our characters in play (even Zelenka, Lorne, and Amelia Banks). Fast-paced fun!

And Akemi agreed. She laughed out loud a couple of times, jumped at others, and seemed just as anxious as Teyla when she was in hiding with her baby. The night time establishers of the city all lit up never fail to amaze, and the “really cool fighting scenes” in this one wowed her as well, especially the final showdown at the top of the tower (Again, thanks to Mark Savela and our VFX crew and James Bamford and our stunts crew). Her only quibble with this episode: “I’m so sad I didn’t see any scenes with Jewel. Where’s Jewel?” I dunno. Night off?

She was at her most animated when Sheppard almost tumbles off the tower and is left dangling: “Now Mike Dopud can take over team!”

When Teyla approaches Michael hanging on by his fingertips: “Kick him off.”

And when she does just that: “What?! He isn’t really dead, is he?” And when I informed her that, yes, he was: “Wow. Michael die. Are you sure? Who will they fight?” No one! The last six episodes of the final season will feature scenes of them sitting around, talking about their feelings.

And a closing observation as the end credits started to roll: “Sheppard never die, ne? Don’t you think so? Why not?”

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April 19, 2014

Photos: Missing pets in BC, books, Stargate: Atlantis


Wow. This has been all over the news here:

http://www.petsearcherscanada.com/st...e-this-woman2/

If you live in the Vancouver area, check out the video and maybe help identify this sorry excuse for a human being.

Capsule reviews of all the books I read last month...

Blood Kin by Steve Rasnic Tem

A southern gothic tale that alternates between the 1930?s and the present day. It tells the parallel stories of a women and her grandson and their respective battles against supernatural forces in the southern Appalachians, all related to a mysterious crate buried deep in the kudzu-infested grounds of their family property. Moody and effectively atmospheric but, at times, slow-moving and disjointed. It starts strong, lags in the middle, and then culminates in an explosion of frenzied horror.

In the Miso Soup by Ryu Murakami

A young man who specializes in guiding foreigners on red light tours of Tokyo begins to suspect that there may be more to his latest client than meets the eye. Is this strange American merely eccentric, or could he be the serial killer responsible for some recent gruesome murders? As the mystery builds and our protagonist is drawn inexorably deeper, things begin to take a turn for the bizarre. Incredibly engaging and unnerving – until the sudden and inexplicable supernatural twist late in the hitherto grounded book. That’s when the wheels come off.

The Barrow by Mark Smythe

A rousing fantasy actioner in the spirit of Joe Abercrombie’s First Law series. Violence, humor, and colourful characters abound in this tale of a group of unlikely heroes on a quest for a fabled sword. It’s a gritty, lively adventure and a hell of a fun read, but my enjoyment was seriously hampered by some explicit sex scenes that, quite frankly, read like submissions to Letters to Penthouse.

Vampires in the Lemon Grove by Karen Russell

As is often the case with collections, this one is a mixed bag – but there’s no denying the inventiveness of the strange stories contained herein. Like the tale of the reformed vampires who have retired to the Italian countryside where the juice of fresh lemons slakes their thirst for blood. Or the one about about the exploited mutant female workers of a Japanese silk factory. Or the one about the young boys who discover a scarecrow that eerily resembles someone they used to bully… Recommended for those who appreciate inspired, slice-of-life narratives (and, FYI, “slice-of-life” is writer code for “doesn’t have an ending”).

The Walking Dead (volume 20) by Robert Kirkman

“All Out War”, Part 1. Well, “Preamble to All Out War” would probably be more accurate. Rick and co. and their newfound allies take the fight to Negan’s doorstep. And things get ugly – with the promise of still uglier things to come. Darker, deeper, and, frankly, better than the television series.

Harbour by John Ajvide Lindqvist

Two years after the mysterious disappearance of his six year old daughter, a man returns to his family home on a remote island – and discovers the community hides a dark secret. Chilling, at times unnerving, the novel is somewhat reminiscent of Stephen King’s grounded small-town horror. Unique in certain respects but, overall, not quite enough to set it apart in a very crowded field. Still, an above-average horror read.

The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls

The book opens with our narrator, Jeannette, on her way to a New York City function, when her cab stops beside a homeless women rooting through the trash. Upon closer scrutiny, Jeannette realizes that homeless woman is, in fact, her mother. And so begins one of the most amazing books I’ve read in recent memory. The blurb on the back of the jacket does it an enormous disservice, painting it as a bleak autobiographical account of woman growing up in an abusive family. It’s actually quite touching, uplifting – and incredibly funny, reminiscent of David Sedaris at his very darkest. One of my Top 10 books of all time. Go read it!

Peter Panzerfaust (volume 1) by Kurtis J. Wiebe

It’s Peter Pan in WWII as Peter leads a group of young orphans from Calais to Paris. Complicating matters for them = nazis! No magic but certain aspects of the story stretch credulity.

The Circle by David Eggers

Our young heroine lands a job working for The Circle, a cutting edge internet company that is Google, Facebook, and Yahoo rolled into one. Before she knows it, she is at the forefront of a wave of technological advancements that will revolutionize social interaction. But at what price? A smart, scary book that explores the potentially insidious consequences of our increasingly “connected” lives. It takes a while to get going and the big “surprise reveal” at book’s end isn’t all that surprising at all, but it nevertheless delivers a powerful message on our increasing willingness to relinquish privacy and freedom in exchange for convenience.

We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves by Karen Joy Fowler

Inspired by an experiment in the 1930?s in which a husband and wife research team raised a baby chimp in their home as a member of their family, this novel offers a fictional account of a similar experiment run some sixty years later – and its heartbreaking effects on those involved. Our narrator is Rosemary, a woman who reflects back on her childhood, growing up with a human brother and chimpanzee sister – until the dark day her sister, Fern, was taken away. The loss of their beloved family members has far-reaching consequences for all of them. Some fifteen years later, Rosemary reflects back on her time with Fern and tries to learn the truth about her sister’s fate. It’s rare I read a truly great book, even rarer for me to read two back to back, but that’s exactly what happened. Right after reading Jeannette Walls’ The Glass Castle, I picked up this book – and was equally bowled over. Humorous and poignant. A wonderful book.

Ack-Ack Macaque by Gareth Powell

A monkey of another kind is the titular hero of this alt history romp that features a royal conspiracy, nuclear-powered airships, VR ninja nazis, and poachable portable souls. It’s silly fast-paced fun, but the sloppy villains and a maudlin love story really throw a wrench into the works.

Continuing our Stargate: Atlantis re-watch with...Remnants!

I approached the re-watch of this episode with some trepidation, not because I was worried that Akemi wouldn’t like it but because I feared that I wouldn’t. After all, I’d been reviewing my episodes in particular with very critical eyes and, to be honest, I’m a lot less happy with the results now than I was years ago. Back in the day, this one had been a personal favorites, so I was curious as to how it would survive the test of time. As it turned out – quite well. Of all of the episodes I wrote for the last two Stargate incarnations (SGA and SGU), this one ranks as one of my faves. It still holds up. And it was especially satisfying watching this with Akemi who, despite English being her second language, greatly enjoyed it. In fact, she declared it: “My favorite of your episodes. ” High praise indeed. She loved the humor, the quick pacing, and was delighted by the unexpected twists – especially the final one in which it is revealed that McKay had been fooled all along as well...

Ever-appreciative of the trademark Stargate humor – and a certain Robert Picardo: “I find many funny scenes. Especially with Bob.”

On the admittedly talky reveal: “That scene was difficult but cool. I like it.”

On when her suspicions were first raised that maybe something was up – and Kolya’s punching prowess: “I was wondering. Bad guy punching him thirty times and he’s still alive. Just scratches. Not losing teeth. Guy is not good at punching people.”

On another red flag: “I thought too expensive for Sheppard without hand for rest of series. Not like old man on Walking Dead. Major character. DingDingding! Price go so high.”

Overall: “I like it. Funny. Not too scary.”

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April 20, 2014

Photos: Bubba, Stargate: Atlantis


Sigh. Here we go again. Last month, a routine check at our local vet clinic revealed that Jelly had a mast cell tumor that would have to be removed. Given their advanced ages, and the fact that they are pugs, surgery always worries me as much as whatever it is they are being treated for. But despite being 16, Jelly came through with flying colors and the surgery was a complete success. Tomorrow, it’s 11 year old Bubba’s turn. Akemi noticed a lump near his ear last week and I didn’t think anything of it at first. It was significantly tinier and harder than the one I discovered on Jelly. Still, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to have it checked out and so, yesterday, we brought him in and had a sample taken. And, this morning, we got the results. Another mast cell tumor. He goes in for surgery first thing tomorrow morning.

Continuing our Stargate: Atlantis re-watch with...Brainstorm!

This one was a lot of fun – despite all the gobbledegook. Whenever the conversation turned to the gate bridge, Akemi’s eyes seemed to glaze over. But they were bright and alert for all of the McKay-Keller moments. “Some part is very boring, talk about global warming. But I laughed a couple of times. I found funny. And I liked the romantic scenes.”

Note for the costume department from Akemi: “Didn’t like Jewel’s dress and boots.”

She loved the Carl Binder Memorial Theatre but wondered why Carl got the honours and not, say, Brad or Robert who no doubt wondered: “Why my name is not on the theatre?”

On the burgeoning romance: “I liked the fact McKay and Jewel loveoo loveoo.”

But she wasn’t a fan of the practical ice effects: “Looks fake.”

On the moment where McKay sweeps up a wet and freezing Keller, gets her to safety, and then the two exchange a kiss: “Titanic!”

Overall: “Like it, but not very Stargatety.”

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April 21, 2014

Videos: Bubba, Stargate model moving and lit up

Photos: Bubba, Stargate: Atlantis


Bubba had his surgery today. Before...

And after...

The bandage conceals a nasty cut-and-stitch that looks like a wound he may have sustained in a knife fight.

Thanks for all the well-wishes. He’s on the mend and already eating like crazy.

Robert Cooper forwarded me the following link under the email heading: “Where were these guys when we were making the show?”

http://www.neatorama.com/2014/04/21/...-to-It/#!FgIaJ

It’s apparently one of a several Stargate-themed entires in hackaday.com’s Sci-Fi Contest Roundup. Others include a staff weapon and a life signs detector. Check ‘em out: http://hackaday.com/2014/04/20/sci-f...ndup-stargate/

Continuing our Stargate: Atlantis re-watch with…Infection!

This one was a lot of fun – and a lot of complicated as well for someone who missed all those episodes about the retrovirus. Still, it moved along at a fair clip and Akemi always finds the wraith hive ship set particularly creepy, especially, in this case, with all the “zombie wraith” running about. Her comments on the episode:

When they receive Todd’s first choppy transmission: “It’s like he is in prison and only gets one call.”

When the mutant wraith springs out of the wall toward the red shirt: “WAAAAAAAAH!”

When the mutant wraith springs out of the darkness toward Sheppard: “WAAAAAAAAH!”

She is really enjoying the Todd character: “Has a sense of humor. But his face hard to read. Hard to tell if he is trying to be funny or not.”

She didn’t think that leaving Keller alone with Todd was a good idea. But, if she was going to be eaten, at least “Jewel looks better than in other episode. I like her straight hair.”

When Sheppard refuses to help Todd: “Why so mean?”

As the hive ship breaks in two: “Beautiful!”

But as the hive ship lands in the water: “Not great computer graphics. I fee like I’m watching Final Fantasy 9 instead of Final Fantasy 14.”

Overall: “I liked this episode so-so. Chotto complicated.”

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April 22, 2014

Photos: Zombie, Bubba, Stargate: Atlantis


Today’s inane conversation with my Japanese girlfriend:

As we pulled into the underground parkade...

Akemi: That looks like zombie car (indicating an old, tarp-covered sedan).

Joe: What’s a zombie car?

Akemi: A car that zombie hide in so it can eat people. (Obviously).

Joe: What do you mean? They drive around offering lifts to people and then when someone gets in the car with them, they eat them?

Akemi: Of course not. Zombie’s don’t drive. They walk ten kilometers every day. That’s why so thin. Try to be healthy I guess.

Joe: Also, their eating habits. They’re on the paleo diet.

Akemi: Like Ivon. Just fresh meat.

Joe: No processed foods.

Akemi: What about sugar?

Joe: No sugar either.

Akemi: That’s tough.

That’s the price of looking so good.

Bubba is practically back to his old self. Akemi lent him her hair band to ensure he doesn’t scratch at his stitches. Very stylish. And he seems to like it!

Continuing our Stargate: Atlantis re-watchwith...Identity!

Ah, now this is one of those instances where past Stargate-watching experience paid off. The second Neeva looks in the mirror and sees Keller’s reflection staring back at her, Akemi shouted: “The communications stones!”. And then she was onboard for the rest of the fast-paced episode.

When Neeva comes across the framed picture of Jennifer and her father: “What the *****! Carl Binder is Jewel’s dad!”

When Ronon Shoots Neeva, saving McKay in the puddle jumper: “Heh heh.” Much excitement here.

On the gorgeous establisher of the city at night: “Wow. Beautiful.”

As the magistrate delivers Keller’s death sentence: “Why accent?” And, later, when he is overseeing her execution: “Why British people so evil?”

After Neeva outruns the Atlantis team in the forest and Ronon loses her: “But he is runner! Not as good as Mike Dopud I guess.”

Although she didn’t like Keller’s outfit in Brainstorm, she had high praise for the one she wore in this outfit (actually Neeva’s): “I don’t know if it’s efficient, but very nice. I like a lot.”

During the McKay and Keller moment at episode’s end: “Love. I feel like I’m watching Disney movie!” ???

Today’s blog entry is dedicated to birthday girl Airelle.

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April 23, 2014

Photo: Stargate: Atlantis


An update to a story I brought you last week concerning that french bulldog stolen from a local Vancouver tattoo shop – and it was all caught on camera. A happy ending as the dog was finally reunited with its rightful owner:

http://www.petsearcherscanada.com/fo...oman2-updated/

Apparently the theft was the result of an ownership dispute over the dog (although, according to the police, the victim of the theft was the legal owner). The fact that Chloe the bulldog was found “roaming a residential neighbourhood” speaks volumes about who had the dog’s best interests at heart.

In other news, someone brought this to my attention: http://www.policymic.com/articles/88...ne-s-new-video

I was prepared to be outraged. I sat down alongside Akemi (who is Japanese by the way) and hit play. After watching the video, Akemi asked: “Why they say this is racist?”. Hmmm. Good question. It’s a terrible song. A terrible video even. But racist? Judge for yourself:

http://jezebel.com/avril-lavignes-ne...ity-1566182297

It looks like a subdued takeoff on almost every KPop and Jpop music video I’ve seen. Kyary Pamyu Pamyu anyone? http://youtu.be/UoK8DaJRDaM

I had a half dozen of my Japanese friends take a look at the video. Their responses ranged from amusement to delight to genuine bewilderment at the fact that it was deemed racist.

My favorite response comment to the policymic article comes from a Japanese poster who writes: “Hmm… A white man, who obviously never seen a single J-Pop video, deciding what is racist to a Japanese woman. Seems legit. It would seem a Harvard graduate would know to do a little bit of research before writing about something he knows nothing about.”

Uh oh. Time to invest in a hard hat. http://phys.org/news/2014-04-astrona...d-impacts.html

File this one under “Yeah, don’t even bother”. “Dr. Jensen says that a trip to the gym for 30 minutes or an hour may not be enough to combat all the time spent sitting.”

http://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2014/...e-new-smoking/

IO9 is asking: “What’s your favorite comedy episode of a dramatic t.v. show?” - http://io9.com/whats-your-favorite-c...1566582826/all. Both 200 and Window of Opportunity get some love in the comments section. Your thoughts?

Continuing our Stargate: Atlantis re-watch with...Vegas!

Well, this just goes to show: you never know. Akemi loved Robert Cooper’s previous script to screen epics, Malice and Time, so I figured this one would be a slam dunk. Alas, no. She was completely bewildered throughout and, despite my many attempts to explain the concept of alternate realities to her, she never got on board.

After the CSI-like tease: “Why am I watching detective show?”

After Ivon Bartok’s cameo at the dice table: “Why Ivon’s scene so small?”

She wasn’t a fan of the feature wraith (“Not so cute.”) but she was quite happy to see Todd again (“I like Todd the wraith. Like seeing old friend again.”).

She did appreciate the AU versions of Rodney and Radek: “McKay looked so nice. So did Zelenka!”

Cons: “I didn’t like the music. I didn’t like the fact I couldn’t follow. I didn’t like to fast cut and choppy.”

Overall: “I guess I like more geeky stuff than action slash country-cowboy t.v. show.”

And finally: “Rob’s episodes always so confusing. No consideration for second language people.” Yeah! What’s up with that, Rob?!

[Jumper_One]

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April 24, 2014

Photos: Food, Stargate: Atlantis


So, I finished re-reading A Feast For Crows today and have A Dance with Dragons sitting on my night table. I’ve been holding off on reading it because I want the story fresh(ish) in my mind for when I eventually sit down to read the sixth book in the series, The Winds of Winter. Of course, there’s no telling when that sixth instalment will come out. Given the fact that the fifth book was released six years after the fourth (coincidentally, mere months after the premiere of the HBO series), I may want to wait just a tad longer. Alternately, I could opt for a more leisurely reading pace. At one page a day, it should take me a little under three years to complete A Dance with Dragons – which sounds about right. By my calculations, The Winds of Winter should hit bookshelves by the summer of 2018. And the seventh and final book, A Dream of Spring, not longer after in the spring of 2027.

Hey, check out what Akemi made for the dogs today...

Yep. Sushi. For them. And for us...

Completing our Stargate: Atlantis re-watch with...Enemy at the Gate!

I loved the last ten minutes of this episode. The previous thirty…a little bumpy. As usual, my opinion doesn’t really matter. Let’s find out what Akemi thought…

Surprisingly (or not) she felt pretty much the same way. ZPM’s, super hive, travel between galaxies, wormhole drive…yadayadayada. I caught her surreptitiously checking out Angry Birds on her cell phone at one point. However, the episode did draw her attention long enough for her to offer the following running commentary…

Das! She’s joined the fan club. On Todd: “He’s become so lovable!” And: “he looks less pale! More healthy!” Yep, he’s clearly been taking care of himself. Although: “He need to wash his hair.”

When Todd is imprisoned and given a change of clothes: “Why new outfit? Looks like cosplay.”

On the other hand, when Teyla appears in her leather ensemble: “Finally, a nice outfit for Teyla! Remember that rainbow top?” The latter a reference to the final scene in 38 Minutes.

When Ronon is killed: “Oh my gosh!”

And then when he is revived: “Nobody ever die.” Technically, he DID!

At various points throughout this episode’s spectacular visual effects sequences: “Beautiful!”

Overall however: “I felt a little too long. I prefer SGU’s ending. This is a happier ending though. Yeah, I guess so. Too good to be true.”

And on the series in general: “Even though I like SGA characters too, I like SGU more. But I like Todd even though when he smile he’s creepy, all teeth and gums. And he always pokerface.”

And: “It’s funny the fact that it’s other planets and everyone speaks English, but not Chinese or Japanese.”

[Jumper_One]

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April 25, 2014

Photo: Bubba


Whoever coined the term “The customer is always right” probably never worked retail a day in his life. Setting aside my bad customer service experiences for the moment, let me be frank: The customer is NOT always right. A lot of the time, the customer is wrong and/or downright rude about it. Take today, for instance, when I was shopping at Safeway for canned pumpkin (it keeps the dogs regular). I was in the checkout line, standing behind a woman in early sixties. As the cashier rung up the sale, the woman snapped: “Bagels are supposed to be two forty-nine! Why aren’t they two forty-nine?!” The young cashier pointed out that she had, in fact, charged her two forty-nine for bagels. Rather than apologize or even acknowledge the fact she was in error, the customer quietly redirected her attention to the contents of her purse. Awkward. I turned around and started chatting with Akemi when I heard an outraged: “Excuse me!”. I turned back, wondering what was up. It seemed I was standing too close to the credit card reader. I stepped over and, after throwing me a baleful glare, Ms. Crankypants proceeded to swipe her card. As she finished up her payment, the cashier scanned my purchases. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched my fellow customer eyeing her bill with a frown. Then: “Hey! Why wasn’t I given air miles?” The cashier politely informed her that she received a $10 dollar coupon toward her next visit. She could have the coupon or the air miles but, unfortunately, not both. “I don’t want this!”said the customer, throwing the coupon back at her. “I want air miles.” The cashier apologized, told the customer she would make the change, and rang me through. I thanked the cashier with a: “You’re very kind.” And then throwing a look to the woman beside me: “And infinitely patient.” Ms. Crankpants stared back at me, outraged, her mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. And, while she was doing her goldfish imitation, I picked up my nine-pack of canned pumpkin and left.

Coincidentally, just this morning I came across this article (http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgar...scam-1.2617222) about a woman in Calgary who was calling up local restaurants to complain about poor service in order to score free meal coupons. Word got out. In one instant, she and her husband enjoyed a free meal – but then raised a huge stink because they weren’t comped their drinks as well. Finally, Teatro Restaurant (https://www.facebook.com/TeatroResta...ation=timeline) decided to confront her. On camera.

http://fw.to/q1gX2TW

Her response to being caught out is priceless. She’s sympathetic, shocked, and very disappointed.

So, do tell. I want to hear stories from the other side of the battlefield. Regale me with your “worst customer” experience.

Hey, it’s been a while since I’ve done a mailbag:

MFB writes: “About Delete: I saw “Delete” last year and liked it but I’ve always wondered why it wasn’t on your site under “Stuff I’ve worked on”. Is the reason that it was rewritten by Tim Phillips and barely resembles what you wrote?”

Answer: Never watched the finished product. If I do, and like it, I may well put it on the list. As for Tim Phillips, he was the music composer on the production. Paul and I wrote the script for the mini-series.

MFB also writes: “Anyway, I thought the premise was intriguing and it was decent except for some of the directing, cinematographic and special effect choices. Not that they were bad, just awkward and weird. But as a writer on this one I suppose you don’t have control over that type of stuff like you would have on “Stargate” as a writer/producer.”

Answer: Paul and I were only writers. We didn’t produce so had no say in prep, production, post, or any creative decision made after we delivered the script. Again, never saw the finished product.

MFB also writes: “About “Atlantis” in general: I’ve always wondered how the Atlantis crew interact with the Ancient consoles in the control room and I don’t remember an explanation for that. Are the displays holographic or something like that? I know it’s not practical for filming purposes to have stripped down LCDs like the one in the back of the control room in front of the actors, but I’ve always wondered.”

Answer: Hmmm. Not sure to what you’re referring to exactly? What we would affectionately refer to as “the pianos” that Chuck would work behind? In most instances, McKay (and the science team) would use a universal USB (literally, universal) to hook up Earth tech (ie. their laptops) to alien consoles.

Sparrow_hawk writes: “Regarding the George RR Martin Song of Ice and Fire books: The most recent two books were supposed to be one book. He had too much stuff to publish in just one book and it was split into two.”

Answer: If true (which would imply he had an enormous chunk of the second book already written when he published the first), then it’s mind-boggling that there was a six year gap between their publication dates.

whoviantrish writes: “Sushi for dogs? Mine would love that!”

Answer: How about bento-style dinner for dogs? Check it out.

Today’s entry is dedicated to whovian. Condolences on your uncle’s passing.

[Jumper_One]

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April 26, 2014

Videos: The Amazing Spiderman 2 trailer, Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return trailer, Neighbors trailer, Godzilla trailer, Blended, X-Men: Days of Future Past trailer, A Million Ways to Die in the West trailer, Maleficent trailer

Photos: The Amazing Spiderman 2, Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return, Neighbors, Godzilla, Blended, X-Men: Days of Future Past, A Million Ways to Die in the West, Maleficent


THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2

Release Date: May 2, 2014

What it’s about: Spiderman takes on Electro and…Voltron?

What it’s got working for it: The visual effects looks pretty good. And it’s always great to see a new super villain on the big screen.

What’s it’s got going against it: Not loving the updated Electro. Also, the first movie felt like an unnecessary reboot. Can the sequel move beyond the “been here, scene that” vibe of the first?

LEGENDS OF OZ: DOROTHY’S RETURN

Release Date: May 9, 2014

What it’s about: Dorothy returns to Oz to save her old friends from the villainous Jester.

What it’s got working for it: Some impressive voice talent.

What’s it’s got going against it: The trailer looks…fine. There’s the suggestion she teams up with new friends to rescue the old ones from the Jester. Does this mean she won’t be doing any actual adventuring with the old gang?

NEIGHBORS

Release Date: May 9, 2014

What it’s about: A young couple with a newborn live next door to a frat.

What it’s got working for it: The airbag gag at the end holds promise.

What’s it’s got going against it: The juvenile premise may not be for everyone.

GODZILLA

Release Date: May 16, 2014

What it’s about: A giant lizard causes all sorts of trouble.

What it’s got working for it: It looks pretty damn impressive.

What’s it’s got going against it: The last Godzilla movie showed promise to and look at how that one turned out. No, don’t look. Just take my word for it.

BLENDED

Release Date: May 23, 2014

What it’s about: Two single parents agree to never meet again following a disastrous blind date – only to run into each other, and their respective kids, at an African resort.

What it’s got working for it: Sure, it’s an Adam Sandler romcom, but so was The Wedding Singer?

What’s it’s got going against it: And so were every other Adam Sandler romcom. Also, cloying kids. Also, the trailer looks terrible.

X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST

Release Date: May 23, 2014

What it’s about: Past and present converge as the X-Men must team up with younger versions of themselves to save the future.

What it’s got working for it: The Days of Future Past storyline was one of the greatest X-Men comic book arcs.

What’s it’s got going against it: This doesn’t sound anything like the original storyline.

A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST

Release Date: May 30, 2014

What it’s about: A cowardly sheep farmer must find his courage in the old west.

What it’s got working for it: Well, it’s written by Seth MacFarlane who created Family Guy.

What’s it’s got going against it: It stars Seth MacFarlane who hosted the Oscars that one time.

MALEFICENT

Release Date: May 30, 2014

What it’s about: The witch from Sleeping Beauty, who may not have been so wicked after all.

What it’s got working for it: It’s interesting that Disney is jumping on the anti-hero bandwagon.

What’s it’s got going against it: Do I really care about Maleficent and her story? Not so much.

[Jumper_One]

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April 27, 2014


Videos: Blood Glacier trailer, Walk of Shame trailer, Chef trailer, The Double trailer, Fed Up trailer, Cold in July trailer, Filth trailer

Photos: Blood Glacier, Walk of Shame, Chef, The Double, Fed Up, Cold in July, Filth


BLOOD GLACIER

Release Date: May 2, 2014

What it’s about: A bleeding glacier infects and mutates the local wildlife. Chaos ensues.

What it’s got working for it: In the spirit of Alien…

What’s it’s got going against it: …comes a movie that looks like a cheap rip-off of Alien.

WALK OF SHAME

Release Date: May 2, 2014

What it’s about: Following a one night stand, a reporter, stranded in downtown L.A., has eight hours to make a job interview. Hilarity (?) ensues.

What it’s got working for it: The premise has potential.

What’s it’s got going against it: Alas, the red band trailer isn’t any funnier than the official trailer.

CHEF

Release Date: May 9, 2014

What it’s about: A chef quits his job and opens a food truck.

What it’s got working for it: Being a foodie, I’m intrigued.

What’s it’s got going against it: Non-foodies may find it of lesser interest.

THE DOUBLE

Release Date: May 9, 2014

What it’s about: Meek, milk-mannered Simon has his life turned upside-down by a charismatic and boisterous new co-worker – who happens to be his double.

What it’s got working for it: The trailer looks delightfully weird and creepy.

What’s it’s got going against it: Maybe a little too weird.

FED UP

Release Date: May 9, 2014

What it’s about: An expose of the food industry.

What it’s got working for it: This movie could save your life!

What’s it’s got going against it: Or just depress the heck out of you and leave you feeling powerless.

COLD IN JULY

Release Date: May 23, 2014

What it’s about: A man is hounded by the father of the burglar he killed. But there may be more going on then either of them initially assumed.

What it’s got working for it: Michael C. Hall is great and the trailer looks pretty damn good.

What’s it’s got going against it: Hmmm. At this point, not much. Some poor early reviews could change that but, for now...

FILTH

Release Date: May 30, 2014

What it’s about: A corrupt and opportunistic cop will stop at nothing to get what he wants.

What it’s got working for it: Looks mighty crazy.

What’s it’s got going against it: Crazy good AND possibly crazy bad.

[Jumper_One]

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April 28, 2014

Photos: Comic book covers


“They sure don’t make ‘em like they used” goes the old adage, and nowhere is this more evident than in the ever-evolving world of comic books. From Superman battling nazis to Spiderman meeting President Obama, comics have a rich tradition of embracing history and reflecting social and cultural norms. What was perfectly acceptable ten, maybe twenty years ago is now often viewed with an even mix of horror and amusement. “What were they thinking?”we ask. But before we get all smug and self-important, let’s remember that ten, twenty years ago, readers were saying the same thing. And ten, twenty years from now, they’ll probably look back on us and marvel over OUR ridiculous conceits and misguided earnestness. So adorably/annoyingly politically correct. It’s a wonder they ever got anything done!

With that in mind, allow me to present Comicdom’s Most Dated Covers: A Trip Down Lois Memory Lane. We’ve come a long way, baby!

Note to Lex Luthor: If you can’t get your hands on kryptonite, have Lois bake up a batch of her home made muffins.

Lois teams up with the villainous…Pat Boone?! Some 40 years later, Pat shows up at the American Music Awards in leather and sporting a dog collar. Prescient?

This guy carries around jumbo jets without breaking a sweat. How much weight DID she gain?!

Super catfight!

First Pat Boone, now Perry Como. Throw in Paul Anka and you’ve got the Triumvirate of Evil, 1960?s version.

“I’m ashamed of my physical deformity so I’ll just wear this lead-lined safe on my head so that people don’t stare.”

I’m going to guess: actual biological father.

Easy there, Aquaman. Keep yer underoos on. Until it’s your turn.

Seems a tad overly-elaborate – but I’m sure it all makes perfect sense in the book.

In this case, the actual story couldn’t possibly do justice to the kinky version we’re all imagining in our heads.

Sorry, Lois. You made your deathbed. Now lie in it.

Wow. She is REALLY desperate to get married.

Following in the proud tradition of Ralph Ellison’s Invisible Man.

Hey, do you mind if I borrow your child for this undercover investigation I’m doing?