Chuck Norris facts.

[captainpash]

http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty

Here are a few of the best.

Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.

Chuck Norris doesn't have to stop bullets becuase they know better.

Chuck Norris challenged a statue to a staring contest. Chuck remains undefeated.

When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he does not push himself up. He pushes the Earth down.

Achilles was supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he died because of his weak spot, the Achilles tendon. There is no Chuck Norris tendon.

Chuck Norris can hear silence.

There's no such thing as a tornado. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

Okay there are a ton more.

[Agent_Dark]

Not these again... They were moderately funny the first time around, now they're just lame.

[captainpash]

They are funny anytime around.

[gatelover12]

they fraking rule!

[captainpash]

Yes they do. Chuck Norris invented the spoon because killing people with a knife was just to easy.

[MarshAngel]

for the moment I love these. I don't know why but they are just funny to me. On some level I know that I'll stop laughing eventually but every time I see:

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f#&^@%$ Indian.

I laugh.

If it were about someone more famous and interesting it just wouldn't be as funny.

[TrustNo1]

It's funny because it's so true!

There's something about Chuck Norris that makes it appealing.

[Linkinparkgundam]

It is just that Chuck Norris is just funny.... here are some that I found.....

1) Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't f*(|< with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
2) Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.
3) Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the sh*t out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.

[aries_rules]

Chuck Norris wasn't born...he kicked his way out of his mother's womb and grew a beard.

[TrustNo1]

HAHA I can't stop laughing!

[Major Clanger]

Yes they do. Chuck Norris invented the spoon because killing people with a knife was just to easy.

OI!
be careful

[FeloniousMonk]

When Chuck Norris eats a Rubix cube he poops it out solved.

Every dinsoaur skull ever found has an imprint of a size 15 cowboy boot on its' jaw. Scientists claim to be baffled but we all know damn well why.

[rarocks24]

Lol!!!

Off-topic: Anyone seen Underworld 2 yet? Is it good?

[Exiled Master]

Chuck Norris ate 3 73 oz. steaks in 1 hour. He spent the first 45 minutes doing his waitress.
Chuc Norris is the only man to beat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

[captainpash]

I didn't see the last one.

[MarshAngel]

Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.

[Exiled Master]

Here's a football one: Chuck Norris had sex with all the nuns in a Tuscan convent. 9 months later, those nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undeated and untied football team in NFL history.

[sueKay]

Who is he's suing just now? There was an article in a newspaper I read the other day...