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    Things Not To Do While Watching LOTR in Theater

    Now I know that LOTR has been out of theaters for sometime, but in my area, the Slackers CDs & Games (local place that sells CDs, movies, etc) has an arrangement to get movies that have gone out of theaters BACK into Theaters, like Back To The Future, Goonies, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and soon, LOTR... Well, here is a compiled list of things NOT TO DO while watching the film:

    THINGS NOT TO DO IN THE THEATER WHILE WATCHING LOTR:

    *Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly,
    "Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?"

    *Block the entrance to the theater while screaming:
    "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

    *After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it
    better."

    *At some point during the movie, stand up and shout:
    "I must go! Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to
    jump into the screen.

    *After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat.

    *Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip
    every time someone says: "The Ring."

    *Point and laugh whenever someone dies.

    *Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf went
    to Hogwarts.

    *Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr.
    Anderson."

    *When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the
    top of your lungs sing,"And I did it.... MY way...!"

    *At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive to
    Ethiopians.

    *Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end,
    bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.

    *When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you
    the back of the neck.

    *Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of
    Helms Deep" Monty Python style.

    *When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!"

    *Ask people around you who they think is the next
    "Terminator" sent from the Middle Earth of the future
    to assassinate Frodo Baggins.

    *In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand
    up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!"

    *Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what
    I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you
    get kicked out of the theatre.

    *During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's
    Waldo?"

    *Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a
    single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the
    movie.

    *Start an Orc sing-a-long.

    *Come to the film dressed as Frank N. Furter and
    wander around looking terribly confused.

    *Remove the top off your drink, then proceed to light
    the straw on fire and tell people in the seats around
    you about a great battle that took place in your cup
    long ago.

    *When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for
    tense moment and shout, "I see dead people!"

    *Imitate what you think a conversation between
    Gollum, Dobby and Yoda would be like.

    *Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater
    during the Shelob scene.

    *Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for
    governor of California.

    *When Sam holds Frodo's hand (or otherwise), start
    singing, "The Ambiguously Gay Duo!"

    *When Shelob comes on, exclaim, "Man! Charlotte's
    really let herself go!"
    -----------------------------------------------------------------

    Now I do not condone these actions, nor do I take responsibility for whatever may happen to you should you choose to participate in one or more of these acts, though you can be rest assured that I will be laughing when I hear about it on the news..!
    Red counter: 14 Dings and growing.

    Green (positive) JELLO donations are always welcome


    Mckay: Oh my god, He IS Kirk...

    #2
    Originally posted by Andy867
    THINGS NOT TO DO IN THE THEATER WHILE WATCHING LOTR:
    *Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?"
    *Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"
    *After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better."
    *Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson."
    *Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.
    *When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for a tense moment and shout, "I see dead people!"
    *Imitate what you think a conversation between Gollum, Dobby and Yoda would be like.
    *Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater during the Shelob scene.
    ^ My personal favorites.... ROTFLMAO!!!!
    There is only one thing we can ever truly control: whether we are good, or evil.

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      #3
      SO funny! I may have to try some of these (tho only at a private screening, with a couple of my closest friends...)
      YAY DANCING BANANAS!!!

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        #4
        Hehe, made me laugh, have a green thing.

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          #5
          Funny enough my mate works in our local cinema and was telling me just the other day when RotK was on during the first run an old women got kicked out for shatting herself.

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            #6
            OMG! I actually did some of that stuff! It was at an old theater and no one was there so my friends and I had it all to ourselves.

            Everytime the orcs/uruks were marching I did the "OOoo-eee-Ooo" thing from The Wizard of Oz.
            Why yes, I am aware that I am too sexy for my cat
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              #7
              LOL very very funny

              I passed this on to one of my friends who is a *major* LotR nut and at first she was pretty angry with me, but eventually she got a laugh out of it

              Well done !
              meh

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                #8
                Just thought of one:

                Whenever you see a hobbit character, yell out in a gollum voice 'Run little fat hobbitses!'
                : Hi Steve
                Bye Steve

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                  #9
                  *Shout out directions and orders during the battle scenes. Act pissed off when they don’t obey you.
                  That I should love a bright, particular star.

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                    #10
                    Crickey, you're giving me a run for the funny man money. ROFLSHMGFOL!!!!!! that's (rollin' on the floor laughin' so hard my guts fall out loud)

                    OKay, i've got one.

                    Just before a battle scene starts rise up in your seat holding your pepsi straw like a sword and shout TALLY HO!!!!
                    TEAM SG1 LIVES

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                      #11
                      How bout:

                      When the Orc commander holds up his sword in "The Two Towers" *battle of Helms deep*, you shout out, "By the power of Grayskull... I have the Power!"
                      Red counter: 14 Dings and growing.

                      Green (positive) JELLO donations are always welcome


                      Mckay: Oh my god, He IS Kirk...

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                        #12
                        After the hobbits leave Bree, say loudly "Ooooh goody! It's nearly the Tom Bombadil bit!!"

                        ... and fuss when they skip him.

                        When Arwen rescues Frodo on her horse, say "this is the best bit in the book".

                        Claim to spot wristwatches on elves, Sean Bean's tattoo, or boom mikes.

                        Madeleine

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                          #13
                          Originally posted by Madeleine_W
                          After the hobbits leave Bree, say loudly "Ooooh goody! It's nearly the Tom Bombadil bit!!"

                          ... and fuss when they skip him.

                          When Arwen rescues Frodo on her horse, say "this is the best bit in the book".
                          I actually did those things. I got so annoyed that Tom wasn't in it and that they were glorifying Arwen that I walked out. (only to return 2 minutes later when I heard they were in Rivendell)

                          One thing that I did that annoyed people was when the battle outside of Minas Tirith happens, I shouted that there were more than 6000 horsemen there, and made a big fuss over it. I mean really there were supposed to be around half a million orcs and yet 6000 horsemen took up nearly as much ground space. I kept ranting about it until the Oliphaunts (sp) came on, then I was happy.
                          The death of one man is a tragedy, the death of millions is a statistic - Stalin
                          The viewpoint of one person is not the viewpoint of all - ShadowMaat
                          Dulce et Decorum est pro patria mori - Horace
                          All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing - Edmund Burke
                          Wise men talk because they have something to say, fools talk because they have to say something - Plato
                          An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind - Gandhi
                          Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake - Napoleon

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                            #14
                            Originally posted by Reona
                            *Shout out directions and orders during the battle scenes. Act pissed off when they don’t obey you.
                            Haha, thats an ace one.

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                              #15
                              Originally posted by Madeleine_W
                              After the hobbits leave Bree, say loudly "Ooooh goody! It's nearly the Tom Bombadil bit!!"
                              Or shout out at the Grey Havens scene..."Where's the Scouring of the Shire?"

                              I've got another...

                              When watching LOTR...
                              Never, never drink copious amounts of fluids...
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                              "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth"

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