Now I know that LOTR has been out of theaters for sometime, but in my area, the Slackers CDs & Games (local place that sells CDs, movies, etc) has an arrangement to get movies that have gone out of theaters BACK into Theaters, like Back To The Future, Goonies, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and soon, LOTR... Well, here is a compiled list of things NOT TO DO while watching the film:
*Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly,
"Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?"
*Block the entrance to the theater while screaming:
"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"
*After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it
better."
*At some point during the movie, stand up and shout:
"I must go! Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to
jump into the screen.
*After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat.
*Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip
every time someone says: "The Ring."
*Point and laugh whenever someone dies.
*Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf went
to Hogwarts.
*Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr.
Anderson."
*When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the
top of your lungs sing,"And I did it.... MY way...!"
*At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive to
Ethiopians.
*Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end,
bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.
*When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you
the back of the neck.
*Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of
Helms Deep" Monty Python style.
*When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!"
*Ask people around you who they think is the next
"Terminator" sent from the Middle Earth of the future
to assassinate Frodo Baggins.
*In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand
up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!"
*Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what
I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you
get kicked out of the theatre.
*During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's
Waldo?"
*Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a
single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the
movie.
*Start an Orc sing-a-long.
*Come to the film dressed as Frank N. Furter and
wander around looking terribly confused.
*Remove the top off your drink, then proceed to light
the straw on fire and tell people in the seats around
you about a great battle that took place in your cup
long ago.
*When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for
tense moment and shout, "I see dead people!"
*Imitate what you think a conversation between
Gollum, Dobby and Yoda would be like.
*Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater
during the Shelob scene.
*Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for
governor of California.
*When Sam holds Frodo's hand (or otherwise), start
singing, "The Ambiguously Gay Duo!"
*When Shelob comes on, exclaim, "Man! Charlotte's
really let herself go!"
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Now I do not condone these actions, nor do I take responsibility for whatever may happen to you should you choose to participate in one or more of these acts, though you can be rest assured that I will be laughing when I hear about it on the news..!
THINGS NOT TO DO IN THE THEATER WHILE WATCHING LOTR:
*Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly,
"Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?"
*Block the entrance to the theater while screaming:
"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"
*After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it
better."
*At some point during the movie, stand up and shout:
"I must go! Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to
jump into the screen.
*After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat.
*Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip
every time someone says: "The Ring."
*Point and laugh whenever someone dies.
*Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf went
to Hogwarts.
*Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr.
Anderson."
*When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the
top of your lungs sing,"And I did it.... MY way...!"
*At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive to
Ethiopians.
*Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end,
bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.
*When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you
the back of the neck.
*Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of
Helms Deep" Monty Python style.
*When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!"
*Ask people around you who they think is the next
"Terminator" sent from the Middle Earth of the future
to assassinate Frodo Baggins.
*In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand
up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!"
*Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what
I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you
get kicked out of the theatre.
*During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's
Waldo?"
*Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a
single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the
movie.
*Start an Orc sing-a-long.
*Come to the film dressed as Frank N. Furter and
wander around looking terribly confused.
*Remove the top off your drink, then proceed to light
the straw on fire and tell people in the seats around
you about a great battle that took place in your cup
long ago.
*When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for
tense moment and shout, "I see dead people!"
*Imitate what you think a conversation between
Gollum, Dobby and Yoda would be like.
*Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater
during the Shelob scene.
*Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for
governor of California.
*When Sam holds Frodo's hand (or otherwise), start
singing, "The Ambiguously Gay Duo!"
*When Shelob comes on, exclaim, "Man! Charlotte's
really let herself go!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Now I do not condone these actions, nor do I take responsibility for whatever may happen to you should you choose to participate in one or more of these acts, though you can be rest assured that I will be laughing when I hear about it on the news..!
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