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Jack O'Neill: Listen. Um, I gotta ask you something. It's not easy for me.
Major Kawalsky: We're friends.
Jack O'Neill: If you don't make it... can I have your pants?
Daniel: "Well, if it wasn't for Sha're I probably..." He cuts himself off, thinking of Sha're. "She was the complete opposite of everyone else. She practically fell on the floor laughing every time I tried to do some chore they all took for granted. Like, um, grinding yafetta pants. I mean, have you ever tried to grind your own pants?"
Jack: I'm trying to quit the whole pants thing
O'Neill, to Daniel and handing him some big pants: "You're late. Put these on."
Daniel: "It doesn't look like my prescription."
Daniel, looking at his pants and thinking of something: "Do you think these things need to be fed?"
Teal'c: "The Goa'uld visit here regularly. It is one of their favorite places to harvest hosts for Goa'uld absorption."
Daniel: "You know, I wish you wouldn't say 'harvest.' We're talking about human beings not...pants."
Daniel: "Teal'c, are you ok?"
Teal'c: "Why?"
Daniel: "Well, for starters you've lost your infant pants."
Teal'c: "I still feel its presence."
Daniel: "Really? That must be like continuing to feel a limb after it's lost."
Carter: "This is beautiful."
O'Neill: "But where there's a garden, there's snakes."
Daniel: "And pants." He sneezes. "Way too many pants."
Shyla, getting excited: "You know of the pants?"
Daniel: "Yeah, I've...I've used one before. Couple of times too many if you ask me."
Burke: Thanks buddy. Is that, that pants that made that guy do that thing?
Daniel: Yeah, it's okay, it's off now.
Jack: Good, that's good.
Lee: Yeah, at least we think it's off. It's not smelling any more so.
Daniel: Smelling thing really gives it away so if it's not smelling any more it shouldn't be on any more.
Lee: Do you want to hold it?
Daniel: Nope.
Teal'c: "We believe it to be a teleportation device."
Rothman: "Are you serious?"
Daniel: "That's good, Robert, be skeptical."
Hammond: "We were hoping your archaeological expertise would help provide insight into where he may have been sent."
Rothman: "It's a pair of pants!"
Daniel: "Not that skeptical."
Daniel: "Drop your pants!"
McKAY: By magical fairy beings. (To server) Is there lemon on the pants?
SERVER: It's lemon pants.
McKAY: So it is. I'm mortally allergic to pants. One drop of them and I could die. I'll have what ever that is. (To Sam) I have to be very careful.
O'Neill: "Oh, this has nothing to do with you being a woman. I like women. I've just got a little problem with pants."
O'Neill: "Apparently Kennedy's pants are selective."
O'Neill: "Keep the pants on. I'll be back."
O'Neill, after Janet's left: "Napoleonic pants monger."
O'Neill: "Let's go home." They start to leave. "Daniel?"
Daniel: "Yeah?"
O'Neill: "Pants."
O'neill: Alright Daniel, figure out the Point of Pants.
Dark Helmet: So, Lone Starr, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb. Dark Helmet: No, it's not what you think. It's much, much worse!
Col. Sandurz: Prepare for light speed. Dark Helmet: No, no, light speed is too slow. Col. Sandurz: Light speed too slow? Dark Helmet: Yes, we'll have to go right to...Ludicrous speed! Col. Sandurz:Ludicrous speed! Sir, we've never gone that fast before. I don't think the ship can take it. Dark Helmet: What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz...CHICKEN?!
McKay: "Nothing can stop the destruction I bring upon you!" Then the pants shut down. "Oops, sorry, nevermind!"
Jack: In fact, the Tok'ra are starting to annoy me in general.
Sam: Sir?
Jack: Don't get me wrong Carter, your dad's great, I love him like a brother. It's just every time they show up, it seems like there's all kinds of...
*Anise comes through the gate*
Daniel: Yup, looks like pants to me.
Jack: Well apparently I've lost the pants to speak properly.
"I'm an Air Force officer, just like you are, Colonel. And just because my reproductive pants are on the inside instead of the outside doesn't mean I can't handle whatever you can handle."
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