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Is Chloe's friendship a "runner-up prize"?

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    Is Chloe's friendship a "runner-up prize"?

    Sorry if this is too close to the other Chloe-Eli thread, but this seemed like a separate topic...

    I know Chloe meant it in a good way, that her friendship was something of value in and of itself, but I thought it was still a little obtuse - or at worst, arrogant - for her to phrase it that way. She knows Eli has feelings for her (why, I cant imagine...), she knows what kind of relationship he wants with her, so isnt he a runner-up to Scott? Isn't a platonic relationship more of a consolation prize to a romantic one, ie, its better than not being friends at all?

    I mean, silver medals are still great and worthwhile and a proud achievement, but no one pretends they wouldnt still rather have the gold...

    I guess I just empathize with Eli a little more, and would have preferred if she had said something more about how much their friendship meant to her, rather than suggesting he doesnt value it enough...

    #2
    To some extent, yes. Eli clearly wants more and isn't getting it, so in that regard he's the runner-up to Scott. However, Chloe admitted that she values a truly meaningful friendship more than anything else, so in a way he's closer to her than Scott may ever be.

    It'll be interesting how their relationship progresses from here.
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      #3
      Originally posted by droid327 View Post
      Sorry if this is too close to the other Chloe-Eli thread, but this seemed like a separate topic...

      I know Chloe meant it in a good way, that her friendship was something of value in and of itself, but I thought it was still a little obtuse - or at worst, arrogant - for her to phrase it that way. She knows Eli has feelings for her (why, I cant imagine...), she knows what kind of relationship he wants with her, so isnt he a runner-up to Scott? Isn't a platonic relationship more of a consolation prize to a romantic one, ie, its better than not being friends at all?

      I mean, silver medals are still great and worthwhile and a proud achievement, but no one pretends they wouldnt still rather have the gold...

      I guess I just empathize with Eli a little more, and would have preferred if she had said something more about how much their friendship meant to her, rather than suggesting he doesnt value it enough...
      I guess I don't see it as obtuse or arrogant; it seemed heartfelt and sincere to me. Just because Eli wants another sort of relationship with her doesn't change that; he isn't owed it, especially if, to her, Eli is the one who has really come away with her heart. I don't see her referring to Scott as a friend.
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        #4
        From Eli's perspective it clearly is.

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          #5
          Hell if I were Eli, I'd be fine with just friendship. I don't mean it in a "because Chloe sucks" way. I mean in a "if you can truly find a good friend and someone to support you, be happy to have at least that. Intervene romantically if absolutely necessary, but seriously man, great friendship is not a bad thing to have. Hell, if a friendship can survive a one-sided romantic feeling and come out the other side with no bad feelings, that's worth keeping!" way. Though I personally root for the two to go romantic, but I hope they at least stay good friends for the duration.
          ~ When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take back the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! WITH THE LEMONS! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN! ~

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            #6
            Why have the attention of one person when you can have two? In Scott, Chloe sees a lover and a protector, but I don't quite think he's there as emotionally as she would like so she finds that in Eli, her friend and also a sort of protector on another level. She is well aware of Eli's feelings and plays on them to get what she needs but it's looking like she is starting to get over herself a bit and just might make an effort to not be so shallow. The reason she realized she doesn't really have any friends is because they are probably all exactly like her... shallow and only available if it will benefit them somehow.

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              #7
              You are thinking as a man dude. Women don't view friendship the same way we do. Men can never be friends with a woman they are attracted to. Never...

              Women on the other hand think their friendship is an acceptable alternative to not being friends at all with men they aren't attracted to.


              And ya this should be in that other thread.

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                #8
                Originally posted by Paladine View Post
                You are thinking as a man dude. Women don't view friendship the same way we do. Men can never be friends with a woman they are attracted to. Never...

                Women on the other hand think their friendship is an acceptable alternative to not being friends at all with men they aren't attracted to.


                And ya this should be in that other thread.
                assumptions, assumptions, you know what they say about assumptions
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                  #9
                  Eli probably has this idealized version of Chloe to fill in the blanks of what he knows about her. It also understandable seeming they're so far out of the galaxy.

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                    #10
                    I look at it as more like while it is not the prize he wanted, it is just as significant, possibly more so.

                    Kinda like wanting the gold for Diving but instead getting one for Swimming, it may not be what you wanted but it is just as good.

                    Originally posted by Paladine View Post
                    You are thinking as a man dude. Women don't view friendship the same way we do. Men can never be friends with a woman they are attracted to. Never...

                    Women on the other hand think their friendship is an acceptable alternative to not being friends at all with men they aren't attracted to.


                    And ya this should be in that other thread.
                    For the record I am a guy and I can be a friend with a women I am attracted too. In fact if you think about it, depending on how you define “attraction” you could say you would not be friends with someone if, at least on some level, you weren’t attracted to them.

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                      #11
                      I'm physically attracted to quite a few of the women I'm friends with. Emotional attraction is a different story, that's (for me at least) something you reserve for that one special person in your life, and it's possible to be friends with that person but quite difficult, in my experience.

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                        #12
                        Originally posted by SupremeLegate View Post
                        For the record I am a guy and I can be a friend with a women I am attracted too. In fact if you think about it, depending on how you define “attraction” you could say you would not be friends with someone if, at least on some level, you weren’t attracted to them.
                        I am guy and one of my best friends is a woman, that I am attracted too. And I probably wouldn't be her friend if I wasn't attracted to her. But that is all we are, friends, nothing more, but I would like it to be more, as long as we were still friends if it didn't work out.

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                          #13
                          Originally posted by xxxevilgrinxxx View Post
                          assumptions, assumptions, you know what they say about assumptions
                          How dare you call me a sump!

                          Seriously, I do think this is a Mars/Venus type thing. From Chloe's perspective, having never had a real friend before, it follows that she has never had a lover who is a true friend also (remember her last boyfriend started dating her "best friend" like a week after she left) and so at the point she and Scott hooked up she was not expecting a deep and emotional connection. She has since forged that connection with Eli, but since he is a guy and she is a hot girl, a deep, codependent, emotional relationship without sex is always going to feel like second place. In her heart (and I think in Scott's since he has already "hit that" - guythink again) Scott is actually not as important as Eli.

                          The problem for guys is that our sexual identity is so closely tied to our sense of self worth that being placed second in that regard does seem like a runner up prize. For girls it is the heart first, the naughty bits second.
                          "The laws of favours are amongst the most fundamental in the multiverse. The first law is: nobody asks for just one favour; the second request (after the granting of the first favour), prefaced by ‘and can I be really cheeky…?’ is the asking of the second favour. If the aforesaid second request is not granted, the second law ensures that the need for any gratitude for the first favour is nullified, and in accordance with the third law the favour giver has not done any favours at all, and the favour field collapses." - Terry Pratchett.

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                            #14
                            Originally posted by bobsuncorp View Post
                            How dare you call me a sump!

                            Seriously, I do think this is a Mars/Venus type thing. From Chloe's perspective, having never had a real friend before, it follows that she has never had a lover who is a true friend also (remember her last boyfriend started dating her "best friend" like a week after she left) and so at the point she and Scott hooked up she was not expecting a deep and emotional connection. She has since forged that connection with Eli, but since he is a guy and she is a hot girl, a deep, codependent, emotional relationship without sex is always going to feel like second place. In her heart (and I think in Scott's since he has already "hit that" - guythink again) Scott is actually not as important as Eli.

                            The problem for guys is that our sexual identity is so closely tied to our sense of self worth that being placed second in that regard does seem like a runner up prize. For girls it is the heart first, the naughty bits second.
                            I never did buy into that whole mars-venus thing. Guys and women aren't really that different, I don't think. Women's sexual identity isn't tied to our self-worth? Again, assumptions
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                              #15
                              I guess we'll have to ask a haemaphrodite. Maybe we can also ask them how to spell it.
                              "The laws of favours are amongst the most fundamental in the multiverse. The first law is: nobody asks for just one favour; the second request (after the granting of the first favour), prefaced by ‘and can I be really cheeky…?’ is the asking of the second favour. If the aforesaid second request is not granted, the second law ensures that the need for any gratitude for the first favour is nullified, and in accordance with the third law the favour giver has not done any favours at all, and the favour field collapses." - Terry Pratchett.

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