Stargate Random Verbosity!

[puddlejumperOZ]

Ok here's the drill, if any of you are familiar with the "Yes Minister/ Prime Minister BBC series you'll know what this is, using Stargate as the basis of conversation it might go something like this.

Rodney, to what do we owe this pleasure?
Sam I must strongly protest in the strongest possible terms, my profound opposition to a newly instituted practise which imposes severe and intolerable restrictions upon the ingress and egress of senior members of the hierarchy and which will in all probability, should the current deplorable innovation be perpetuated, precipitate a constriction of the channels of communication and culminate in a condition of organisational atrophy and administrative paralysis which will render effectively impossible the coherent and coordinated discharge of the function of Atlantis within her boundries of the Pegasus Galaxy and the the Universe at large.
You mean you've lost your key?

with apollogies to the BBC, but you get the drift

[Akamaimom]

"So, apropos to nothing, and in particular to little concerning this current assertion of our colleague and comrade in arms for whom our lives and morale has constantly been first and foremost in the forefront of his forehead, we therefore lay hold of his theory and resolve to and thereby absolve from consequence his blatant disregard for the meaning and nature of upholding these, the regulations upon which our entire command is based and commissioned. Inconsequential from here and into the near eternities shall be rendered his obvious and blatant inability to lay useless and motionless his multi-digited extremities, especially when they lay hold upon a near circular, multi-hemispherical device when connected in such totality through the center with a length of hemp, cording, or string. Therefore, allowance of such activity, and adherence to such an allowance, is thusly declared, rendering Colonel O'Neill the beneficiary of such ruling that shall allow him rights and privileges heretofore unannotated."

"So--what's he saying, Carter?"

She sighed, and opened her hand. "Take the damned yo-yo, sir."

[puddlejumperOZ]

OMG, that is so funny AKA, I'd green you again if I could Hilarious....................my sides hurt

[puddlejumperOZ]

It's a quantum leap of faith Sir, to actually replicate the same and varied circumstances parallel to and in conjunction with, the facts that were previously undiscovered at the moment of their unvaried and unseen extrapolation that led us to acquire the affoermentioned evidance, hencforth with that undischarged at the moment of their expiration.
What are you sayin' Sam?
We can't save the world today Sir, sorry.

[Akamaimom]

Here's lyrics to a Stargate song that I learned whilst in my youth:

"Propel, propel, propel your craft,
Over the liquid solution.
Ecstatic, ecstatic, ecstatic, ecstatic,
Existence is but an illusion."

"Hey, Teal'c."

"Yes, O'Neill?"

"I didn't know you knew the tune to Row, Row, Row, Your Boat."

[puddlejumperOZ]

Woolsey: Who does know?
Sheppard: May I just clarify the question? You are asking who would know what it is that I don't know and you don't know, but the SGC know that they know, that they are keeping from you so that you don't know but they do know, and all we know is that there is something we don't know but we want to know but we don't know what because we don't know. Is that it?
Woolsey: May I clarify the question? Who knows SGC secrets apart from the SGC?
Sheppard: Oh that's easy, only the Trust.

[Akamaimom]

"I fully and forthrightly feel not only disinclined, but also completely in contrary agreement with the proposal thus stated. There is no reason that any knowledgeable person, ably educated up to and beyond that level to which reason and circumstance might permit, should choose and or elect, with their full and undivided intention, to thrust themselves thus into the upper echelons of atmosphere and indeed space in order to achieve that which you have so moderately proposed to be, notwithstanding the dangers of said actions and the very real possibility and in reality probability that negative effects will befall the doer of said action, a rush."

"Teal'c--just put on the parachute."

[WingedPegasus]

Jack: So, is the coffee any good?
Walter: Your query brings to the forefront of my mind the interesting metaphysical quandary that lies within such inquisitions, wherein the qualifiers of good or bad are wholly unspecific; that is to say, they are not solid, quantitative, or absolute descriptors--
Jack: Walter.
Walter: ...but are instead subject to the relative perceptions of the individual interpreting the data at hand. Not to exclude the person who solicited said imprecise evaluation, as their respective interpretation of the likely inaccurate data--
Jack: Walter.
Walter: ...will likely further occlude or obscure the true answer to the question; be it that the liquid is deemed good, bad, or indifferent. Therefore one cannot present an accurate and forthcoming evaluation of aforementioned liquid unless all quantifiers are strictly--

Jack: *beans Walter on the head with the coffee pot**notices the gaping gateroom staff* ...I wouldn't drink the coffee, if I were you. It seems to be producing some interesting side-effects.
Random sergeant: It's recently been upgraded to triple-strength, sir.
Jack. Well, there you go.

[puddlejumperOZ]

Spoiler:

Jack: So, is the coffee any good?
Walter: Your query brings to the forefront of my mind the interesting metaphysical quandary that lies within such inquisitions, wherein the qualifiers of good or bad are wholly unspecific; that is to say, they are not solid, quantitative, or absolute descriptors--
Jack: Walter.
Walter: ...but are instead subject to the relative perceptions of the individual interpreting the data at hand. Not to exclude the person who solicited said imprecise evaluation, as their respective interpretation of the likely inaccurate data--
Jack: Walter.
Walter: ...will likely further occlude or obscure the true answer to the question; be it that the liquid is deemed good, bad, or indifferent. Therefore one cannot present an accurate and forthcoming evaluation of aforementioned liquid unless all quantifiers are strictly--

Jack: *beans Walter on the head with the coffee pot**notices the gaping gateroom staff* ...I wouldn't drink the coffee, if I were you. It seems to be producing some interesting side-effects.
Random sergeant: It's recently been upgraded to triple-strength, sir.
Jack. Well, there you go.

You have been greened, so funny, agh, my side hurts

[puddlejumperOZ]

Standard Washington response in a time of crisis. In Stage One we say that nothing is going to happen.
: Stage Two, we say something may be going to happen but we should do nothing about it.
Stage Three, we say that maybe we should do something about it, but there's nothing we can do.
Stage Four, we say maybe there is something we could have done, but it's too late now.
What?
It means we are screwed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[puddlejumperOZ]

Now if I cut the capacitator wires here, and reroute the diode flux converters, I'll have to bypass the main circuit breaker and solder in a new micro drive, cut the blue and yellow wires just to be safe, take a new conductor and put it in here, hmmm, I'll need to be careful here....
Sam is this going to take long?
.....ah there it is, connect these red wires to the main drive, reboot the overload switches, run a diagnostic in beta, oh and I'll have to reharden these end rods as well, now re-connect the green and orange here, replace these three diodes. That seems to be it Cam.
You sure, I'm getting very nervous here.
Yep, your electric train should run like a charm now.

[Aragon101]

At PJ's request....

Your conflagration of words do create, nay, cause the origination of such things as never were or shall be, in so much as the universal level of energy cannot rise nor fall, so creates is truly the wrong word, rather converted would be a much more eloquent and descriptive term, a true show of literary prowess it would truly be on the levels of the masters of old, to use such a moving word to describe the state which your combination of language would do for a person, although only a person of such learn-ed matters such as those in our presence, which turns our attention back to the matter at hand of this fiction created by fanatics, which has all been lauded and reputed with the most positive esteem from our original thread poster, the beginning, nay, genesis of such a beautiful and dare i say, sensual composition of the written arts that inspire those around us to continue on such an enlightened path.

In 2 and a half words; Ah, i see.

From another thread

[puddlejumperOZ]

Notwithstanding the forgone conclussions that all the things are equal and opposite I have deduced that with every circumstance I find myself in, there is inevitably a conviction from another force that randomly elicits further examination of the facts, that lead me to conclude that that abovementioned hypothesis is uttterly and totally false.
Rodney what are you on about?
People don't like me.

[Akamaimom]

"I admit to being engaged in a concentrated and vehement denial of actions that could conceivably be construed in such a slant that might reflect badly upon me and the personage with whom I was supposedly and by all appearances canoodling. Indeed if one were to gaze upon the actions of myself and that certain other someone, one might conclude or even merely assume, in cases where pieces of furniture or other large items of assorted and varying base equipment distorted or even blocked the line of sight completely, that this person and I were involved in actions unbecoming officers in this fine Air Force of these lauded and heralded United States. I admit that I did aid my companion in restraining Dr. Fraiser and that his multi-digited appendage did indeed breach the relative sanctuary of her blouse. I will admit to this only in light of the knowledge that Dr. Fraiser's form and indeed corporeal being were at the moment being borrowed and even utilized by a separate entity and it was not actually her, being Dr. Fraiser, but merely one borrowing her compact and yet voluptuous shape and form, from whom we were copping a feel."

"Major Davis."

"Yes, Colonel O'Neill?"

"You're making it worse. Shut up."

[Aragon101]

"I admit to being engaged in a concentrated and vehement denial of actions that could conceivably be construed in such a slant that might reflect badly upon me and the personage with whom I was supposedly and by all appearances canoodling. Indeed if one were to gaze upon the actions of myself and that certain other someone, one might conclude or even merely assume, in cases where pieces of furniture or other large items of assorted and varying base equipment distorted or even blocked the line of sight completely, that this person and I were involved in actions unbecoming officers in this fine Air Force of these lauded and heralded United States. I admit that I did aid my companion in restraining Dr. Fraiser and that his multi-digited appendage did indeed breach the relative sanctuary of her blouse. I will admit to this only in light of the knowledge that Dr. Fraiser's form and indeed corporeal being were at the moment being borrowed and even utilized by a separate entity and it was not actually her, being Dr. Fraiser, but merely one borrowing her compact and yet voluptuous shape and form, from whom we were copping a feel."

"Major Davis."

"Yes, Colonel O'Neill?"

"You're making it worse. Shut up."

Woah! Someone's got an interesting batch of Herbal teas!