So there's been a lot of talk about weapons here over the years and people trying to come up with the fanciest new blaster or railgun but lets take a moment to look in the other direction shall we. The direction of what not to do. Lets take a look at some of the worst weapons both in Stargate and in Sci-fi in general and see if we can crown ourselves a winner... err loser.
Here's some initial nominees to get things started.
From Stargate
Jaffa Staff Weapon
Description: It's a 7 foot long metal stick that shoots fireballs out one end and crippling shame out the other.
Pros: It shoots fireballs!, you can bash people in the knees with it, doesn't seem to run out of ammo
Cons: The fireballs are both slow and pretty weak, it's a 7 foot long stick with no sights of any kind that they expect you to aim at things, it probably weighs almost as heavily on the soldier carrying it as his shame over carrying it in the first place
Final Verdict: A projectile weapon that's actually more useful as a club than a gun, well done.
Wraith Stunner Rifle (early model)
Description: Big goofy looking glowing bazooka thing that's stabby and shooty on differant ends
Pros: Doesn't run out of ammo, can double as a nightlight for those afraid of the dark
Cons: Since its shots can't actually kill and the bayonet-thing is on the wrong end it might just be the first weapon ever invented that's actually more likely to kill or maim its operator via accident than what it's aimed at. Also, no sights, horrifying ergonimics, and just about the whole thing glows constantly for no discernable reason
Final Verdict: Another gun more useful for stabbing people than shooting them, but if you try that then you're probably pointing the muzzle at yourself and the trigger at the enemy, fun times
From Star Trek
Federation Hand Phaser
Description: A dustbuster that kills! (and stuns!)
Pros: great for cleaning up unslightly spills and unwanted pet hair, lots of differant settings, small enough to fit into your purse
Cons: Brandishing it like it's actually meant to be a serious weapon will make people laugh at you, then they'll laugh harder when you miss them from 20 feet away thanks to the "changing the channel" firing stance you'll be trained to employ with this thing
Final Verdict: If you set it to overload it blows up pretty good
Here's some initial nominees to get things started.
From Stargate
Jaffa Staff Weapon
Description: It's a 7 foot long metal stick that shoots fireballs out one end and crippling shame out the other.
Pros: It shoots fireballs!, you can bash people in the knees with it, doesn't seem to run out of ammo
Cons: The fireballs are both slow and pretty weak, it's a 7 foot long stick with no sights of any kind that they expect you to aim at things, it probably weighs almost as heavily on the soldier carrying it as his shame over carrying it in the first place
Final Verdict: A projectile weapon that's actually more useful as a club than a gun, well done.
Wraith Stunner Rifle (early model)
Description: Big goofy looking glowing bazooka thing that's stabby and shooty on differant ends
Pros: Doesn't run out of ammo, can double as a nightlight for those afraid of the dark
Cons: Since its shots can't actually kill and the bayonet-thing is on the wrong end it might just be the first weapon ever invented that's actually more likely to kill or maim its operator via accident than what it's aimed at. Also, no sights, horrifying ergonimics, and just about the whole thing glows constantly for no discernable reason
Final Verdict: Another gun more useful for stabbing people than shooting them, but if you try that then you're probably pointing the muzzle at yourself and the trigger at the enemy, fun times
From Star Trek
Federation Hand Phaser
Description: A dustbuster that kills! (and stuns!)
Pros: great for cleaning up unslightly spills and unwanted pet hair, lots of differant settings, small enough to fit into your purse
Cons: Brandishing it like it's actually meant to be a serious weapon will make people laugh at you, then they'll laugh harder when you miss them from 20 feet away thanks to the "changing the channel" firing stance you'll be trained to employ with this thing
Final Verdict: If you set it to overload it blows up pretty good
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