Funniest Diolauge

[gategirl2]

Here we go:

what you do is write a simple and fairly short diolauge between two characters that you think was the best thing said between them.


Ill go first...........

Sheppard: teyla what the hell are you doing
Teyla: freeing my hands
Sheppard: thats not what it felt like


your turn..

[Eye Of Ra]

Hammond: Col O'Neill what the hell are you doing

Jack: In the middle of my back swing.

[GottaLoveDaniel]

One of my faves!

Oh please, Teal'c's like one of the deepest people I know, he's sooo deep.
Come, come on, tell them how deep you are. You'll be lucky if you understand this.

My depth is immaterial to this conversation.

Ooooh! You see!

[Eye Of Ra]

Mckay: Oh Crap
Hermiod: What did you do
Mckay: I ran it through a translation program, the virus is Wraith.
Hermiod: Crap Indeed

[DJgirl]

"Wa-if I said that, then I-I hope it's...true, but...but all I know is that the place you're searching right now is not it."
"Then...where is "it"?"
"Did I just say "all I know"?"
"Everyone turn away. I want no witnesses."

[Eye Of Ra]

Sheppard: Wait a second, are these things even close to a transporter?
McKay: Uh... yes. Elizabeth's is.
Sheppard: And mine?
McKay: It's a brisk walk away.
Sheppard: And by "brisk" you mean "far"?
McKay: And by "walk" I mean "run".

[DJgirl]

Daniel: Vala, this is a military vessel.
Vala: I know, darling, I've stolen it before.
Daniel: Well, just try to be...
Vala: My charming self...
Daniel: Just a little less talk, a little more shut the hell up.

[Eye Of Ra]

McKay: What are you...oh my God, he's tasting it! You don't know what that is -- that could be their laundry!
Ronon: Very good!
McKay: Oh yes, good idea! And when you're finished with their porridge, why don't we try their beds, hmm?
Ronon: Want some?
McKay: How good is it?
Sheppard: Leave it be, Goldilocks.

[Death_Glider44]

Sheppard: Heres a lemon, in case Rodney gets on your nerves.

[Eye Of Ra]

Sheppard: Well, how about outside the city?
Zelenka: I don't understand.
Sheppard: Well, expand the sensors. Maybe he's in the water.
Zelenka: Even if that was the case, there's no chance that ...
Sheppard: I'm not asking you to swim out there, I'm asking you to press a few damned buttons.

[DJgirl]

Sheppard: You say these things happen every 20 years, right?
Weir: That's what they tell us
Sheppard: How far in advance can we book days off?

[GottaLoveDaniel]

KANE: Do you ever give up?

DANIEL: Not until I'm dead….And, sometimes, not even then.

[Hooperman1990]

Oh so many, im going to have to post a few, i love them all (especially the "Teal'c is the deepest person i know one" lol) In spoilers to save space.

Ascension (503)

Spoiler:

Teal'c: I have heard of a place where humans do battle in a ring of jello.
Col. O'Neill: Call Daniel.

Maj. Carter: I was just wondering how far you'd got on the 636 translation.
Dr. Jackson: Oh yes, I'm almost done. It miraculously seems to hold the key to all the mysteries of the universe.
Maj. Carter: You just got there, you haven't started, and I should leave you alone.

Heros (717)

Spoiler:

Col. Dixon: I don't see any indication of anything here.
Dr. Balinsky: Take the usual bet on that, sir?
Col. Dixon: Sure. Wells?
Airman Wells: Abandoned naquadah mine.
Col. Dixon: Boring. But good odds. Bosworth?
Bosworth: I'm going to put my money on trees, sir.
Col. Dixon: Bosworth's disqualified for being a smartass. I'll go with two-headed aliens.
Airman Wells: Hostile or friendly, sir?
Col. Dixon: One head good, one head bad. Balinsky?
Dr. Balinsky: Oh, the ruins of an ancient city.
Col. Dixon: Yeah, you wish.

Lockdown (803)

Spoiler:

Gen. O'Neill: You're not supposed to be walking around.
Dr. Jackson: It's my arm.
Gen. O'Neill: You were shot.
Dr. Jackson: Yeah. You shot me.

Zero Hour (804)

Spoiler:

Ba'al: You dare mock me?
Gen. O'Neill: Ba'al, come on! You should know. Of course I dare mock you.
Ba'al: You have one more day. [Ba'al's hologram disappears]
Gilmore: Is it really wise to provoke him?
Gen. O'Neill: It's what I do.

Reckoning (816)

Spoiler:

Gen. O'Neill: I've got a better idea, instead of helping you, why don't we sit around and watch you get your ass kicked? That way you'll be dead, and we'll be glad.
Ba'al: You cannot be serious.
Gen. O'Neill: Yes, I can. I just choose not to, some of the time.
Ba'al: With your insolence you're dooming not just your world but all of humanity.
Gen. O'Neill: I think big.

[GottaLoveDaniel]

[Daniel drops a huge book on the floor]

DANIEL: Sorry, didn't mean to wake you.

MITCHELL: No, uh, I wasn't sleeping. I was kel-no-reeming. Teal'c taught me the fundamentals.

DANIEL: Did he mention you should remain conscious in the process?

MITCHELL: Yeah, I'm still working on the basics.

[Eye Of Ra]

Mitchell: I'm telling you... today it's escorting foreign delegates on off world tours... tomorrow it's comic book conventions and supermarket openings.