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Andrew Joshua Talon
July 31st, 2006, 11:06 PM
Seriously, the guy's like Kenny McKormick. Dies, comes back, dies, comes back...
Daniel just needs an orange parka and he'd be set.

So, the point of this thread is to kill Daniel; as absolutely, positively, goofy and funny and weird as you can make it.

And every time must end with:
"Oh my God, they killed Daniel!"
"You *******s!"

Or some variation thereof. ^__^ Writing it out in Goa'uld might be interesting.

Anyway, since it's my idea, I'll go first:

:cameron: Hey Jackson, c'mon! Let's go fly an F-302! You'll love it!
:danielanime07: I don't know, Cam... I kind of have to finish these translations...
:cameron: All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. It should also apply to Jackson.
:daniel: All Jack did was play, and he's none the better for it. (bends over and looks down at an artifact)
:cameron: Oh c'mon! Please? I promise, you'll love it!
:daniel: Allright, look. If you get me that artifact over... (gestures) there, and you let me finish this up, then I'll go, okay?
:cameron: Yes! Thank you, Daniel, you won't regret this! Er... Was it this one? (holds up a sword and examines it)
:daniel: No, it's that one.
:cameron: (spins around, slicing Daniel's head off) Which one-? AUGH! OH MY GOD, I KILLED DANIEL!
:sam: (from far down the hallway) You *******!

Hey, we all love Daniel, but it's too easy to have fun with him dying and coming back to life. ^__^

sg-daniel
August 1st, 2006, 06:36 AM
lol, he's like a "neverending story", a good one of course :D

penguininablender
August 1st, 2006, 06:40 AM
Seriously, the guy's like Kenny McKormick. Dies, comes back, dies, comes back...
Daniel just needs an orange parka and he'd be set.

So, the point of this thread is to kill Daniel; as absolutely, positively, goofy and funny and weird as you can make it.

And every time must end with:
"Oh my God, they killed Daniel!"
"You *******s!"

Or some variation thereof. ^__^ Writing it out in Goa'uld might be interesting.

Anyway, since it's my idea, I'll go first:

:cameron: Hey Jackson, c'mon! Let's go fly an F-302! You'll love it!
:danielanime07: I don't know, Cam... I kind of have to finish these translations...
:cameron: All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. It should also apply to Jackson.
:daniel: All Jack did was play, and he's none the better for it. (bends over and looks down at an artifact)
:cameron: Oh c'mon! Please? I promise, you'll love it!
:daniel: Allright, look. If you get me that artifact over... (gestures) there, and you let me finish this up, then I'll go, okay?
:cameron: Yes! Thank you, Daniel, you won't regret this! Er... Was it this one? (holds up a sword and examines it)
:daniel: No, it's that one.
:cameron: (spins around, slicing Daniel's head off) Which one-? AUGH! OH MY GOD, I KILLED DANIEL!
:sam: (from far down the hallway) You *******!

Hey, we all love Daniel, but it's too easy to have fun with him dying and coming back to life. ^__^
yay!I love this thread
:daniel: gen Hammond, Why do you have on a cowboy hat?
:hammond: I'm going to the rodeo
:daniel: to watch or compete?
:hammond: compete..I do cattle roping
:daniel: Oh God no!!!
*Hammond hog ties daniel and walter walks through, knocking him down the spiral staircase*
:sam: OMG, you hog tied AND killed Daniel
:tealc: you Sholva!

Jedi_Master_Bra'tac
August 1st, 2006, 06:52 AM
:jack: Knock Knock
:daniel: Who's there?
:jack: Baseball Bat
:daniel: Baseball Bat who?
:jack: I'm gonna hit you on the head with a baseball bat
:jack: *hits Daniel on the head with a baseball bat*
:jack: errrrrrr Daniel?
:jack: Oh my God, I killed Daniel!
:daniel: (ascended self) You *******s!

penguininablender
August 1st, 2006, 06:57 AM
:jack: Knock Knock
:daniel: Who's there?
:jack: Baseball Bat
:daniel: Baseball Bat who?
:jack: I'm gonna hit you on the head with a baseball bat
:jack: *hits Daniel on the head with a baseball bat*
:jack: errrrrrr Daniel?
:jack: Oh my God, I killed Daniel!
:daniel: (ascended self) You *******s!
lol, the amanda show...right?

Jedi_Master_Bra'tac
August 1st, 2006, 07:05 AM
lol, the amanda show...right?
yep

Unorthodox
August 1st, 2006, 08:39 AM
Ok, I have to...love this idea here.

:jack: Daniel, what the heck have I told you - no more BEER!
:daniel: But evwy bahdy elsh haad somne...*burp*
:jack: Oh, for the love of--
*Jack smacks Danile upside the head, who procedes to smash his face through the window, then on the table just below the window, and then the plug-in at the outlet for the lamp on the table*
:tealc: Oh my Gods! You've killed Daniel!
:sam: *while puking in bathroom* You B******s! *continues throwing up*

Commander Jumper
August 1st, 2006, 10:03 AM
Yipeee!!!!!! the thread is here :D I've been waiting for like....ever...just kiddin.....just since last night.

:jack:: Look what I can do!!!! *Jack attepmts a cartwheel.* *Jack knocks over vase* *vase hits Daniel* *Daniel gets knocked out and falls over railing into the tech room*

:sam: *runs to Daniel* He's still alive
:jack:: WOW!!! that's amazing
:cameronanime12:: check outnmy sexy sword
:jack:: ahhhhh Sh*t that's the poisoned one isn't it.
:cameron:*falls over dead* *Sword falls out of hand and impales knocked out Daniel*
:hammond:: oh my GOD!!! You killed Daniel
:sam: *spits in Cam's dead face* you dead B******

Elles
August 1st, 2006, 11:31 AM
:lol: 'Bout time they made this thread
*Soap Opera-like Setting*
Dr. Lam: Jack, I'm afraid I have some bad news...
Jack: What?
Dr. Lam: You are not the father of Sam's baby.
Jack: *gasp* Then who is?!?
Dr. Lam: The DNA tests show it was.... *face darkens* Dr. Daniel Jackson.
Jack: I'm gonna kill that son of a b*tch!!! *launches toaster at high speed at Daniel*
Daniel: Oh the humanity! With a toaster halfway stuck into my head and away from my love... I die!

Elles
August 1st, 2006, 11:46 AM
*Giant watermelon falls from sky and squashes Daniel*
Carter: I don't know sir... do we have to say it?
Teal'c: Well... a little variation couldn't hurt...
Jack: Oh for cryin' out loud... all you need to say is "Clean up on aisle three!"
Carter: Oh... well I prefer the old way...
Jack: Fine.
Teal'c: Oh my God! They killed Daniel!
Carter: You b*st*rds!

StarGi
August 1st, 2006, 12:14 PM
:daniel: How many times have you died in Baal's captivity?
:jack: I'd say like a 100 times?
:daniel: I'm better then you, died fewer times, hahaha, ....

SPAS12 shots heard around the base...

:jack: Now we're even!!
:sam: OMG, you killed Daniel!
:tealc: Indeed.

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 1st, 2006, 02:17 PM
:daniel: (falls down the silo containing the Stargate to his death)
:jack: Oh my God, they killed Daniel!
(Jack waits for a few moments. Nothing happens)
:jack: Ahem... I said, "Oh My God, They Killed Daniel!" ...
:tealc: Hello O'Neill.
:jack: Teal'c, Daniel's died again and Carter's not here.
:tealc: That is most unfortunate.
:jack: Tell me about it. Do you know where she is?
:daniel: (comes back to life) We were playing dodgeball up over the silo, when she accidently hit me so hard I fell.
:sam: (runs up, huffing and puffing) ... You... bast...
:jack: Carter, he's back. Don't wear yourself out.
:sam: Oh... Thank you... sir...

Commander Jumper
August 2nd, 2006, 02:27 PM
:cameron:: Guys wana see my pet duck????
:jack: :sam: :vala: :daniel:: not really
:cameron: *pulls out duck*
*duck flys and peck Daniels Eyes out*
:daniel:: Ahhhhhh my eyes *runs into a swordfishes pointy deal* *gets impaled*
:jack:: omy god!!! they killed Daniel
:daniel:: B*stards
:sam:: aren't you supposed to be dead???
:daniel:: oh yeah *falls back to ground dead*

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 2nd, 2006, 08:33 PM
:daniel: Okay... For the last time, slash writers: I AM NOT GAY! God!
:jack: Uh, Daniel? You ranting again?
:sam: I don't think it'll do any good...
:tealc: Indeed. Be thankful, as some might say, "that you are getting any at all".
:daniel: I am not gay *******it! And the next writer to write me as such is going to get it!
(THe Slash Writers drop an anvil on Daniel's head)
:jack: Oh My God, the writers killed Daniel!
:sam: You *******s!

Commander Jumper
August 2nd, 2006, 08:45 PM
:daniel: Okay... For the last time, slash writers: I AM NOT GAY! God!
:jack: Uh, Daniel? You ranting again?
:sam: I don't think it'll do any good...
:tealc: Indeed. Be thankful, as some might say, "that you are getting any at all".
:daniel: I am not gay *******it! And the next writer to write me as such is going to get it!
(THe Slash Writers drop an anvil on Daniel's head)
:jack: Oh My God, the writers killed Daniel!
:sam: You *******s!
Amen!!! Daniel issoooooo not gay.....but he is very sexy.

:vala:: Daniel? are you...*cough* Gay
:daniel:: happy as a bowl of fruit
:jack:: Daniel are you aware that whatb you just said made millions of fans throw up in there mouths
:daniel:: what!!!
:vala:: Happy, signfies gaydom, a fruit is the name for a Gay person, and a bowl.....well thats just one thing I'm not willing to go into
:daniel::what I meant was that I'm not depressed....and what about a bowl
:vala:: it's really disturbing darling
:daniel:: I don't want to know....just like I didn't want to know what you and Hammond and Walter were doing in the broom closet
:vala09:: you saw that!!!!
:jack:: Hell girl....the whole Complex heard it.
:vala09:: *stabs Daniel for seeing what he saw*
:jack:: ohhhh my god they killed Daniel *in uncaring Voice*
:sam:: *in same voice* those B*st*rds.....

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 2nd, 2006, 08:57 PM
:daniel: Finally! Atlantis, here I come! (stepping off the Odyssey onto the dock)
:weir: Welcome to Atlantis, Dr. Jackson! It's about time you got here.
:daniel: Yeah, well, you can blame a certain someone for that...
:vala: (whistles innocently)
:daniel: So, what's first on the agenda?
:weir: Well, we'd like you to look at this Ancient hologram...

(LATER...)

:daniel: Hey, I know you're listening! You pansies! You hypocritical do-nothings! This is as much your war as ours! Cowards! You built this stupid cityship, and left Morrigan here! Surely you can take responsibility for-!
(Daniel is zapped by a lightening bolt. He falls over, as several drones fly up, lift him away into the sky, and explode)
:cameron: Oh My God, Atlantis killed Daniel!
Atlantis: (sniff) *******! He shouldn't have insulted me...

Elles
August 2nd, 2006, 10:05 PM
*Daniel leaps off tall building*
Carter: Look Daniel's flying!
Jack: YAY!!!
McKay: *pops out of nowhere* Fly Daniel... Fly!
*splat*
Teal'c: It was magical while it lasted, Daniel Jackson.
Carter: Oh my God! The Earth's gravity killed Daniel!
Jack: You *******!

Commander Jumper
August 2nd, 2006, 10:20 PM
*Daniel leaps off tall building*
Carter: Look Daniel's flying!
Jack: YAY!!!
McKay: *pops out of nowhere* Fly Daniel... Fly!
*splat*
Teal'c: It was magical while it lasted, Daniel Jackson.
Carter: Oh my God! The Earth's gravity killed Daniel!
Jack: You *******!
*Giggle* :D

:daniel: you guys wann watch me swim????
:jack:: here we go again
:daniel:: what????
:sam:: Daniel each time you have free time you do something stoopid and die
:daniel:: not true
:vala:: They're right Daniel dear
:cameron: *Releases duck*
*Duck nocks Danny in pool and he drowns*
*:daniel: Ascended*
:daniel:: they're right
:jack:: O my God!!! Camerons Duck Killed Kenny-I mean Daniel
:sam:: that B*st*rd Duck!!!!!

Elles
August 2nd, 2006, 10:29 PM
:lol:
O'Neill: How many times have you died by the hand of a duck now?
Daniel: I don't know... must've been x amount of times.
O'Neill: Ha! I've been killed by the hand of a duck x+1 amount of times!
*duck kills Daniel*
O'Neill: Fine... now we're even...
Carter: Oh my God! That duck killed Daniel!
Teal'c: You ******!

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 2nd, 2006, 10:44 PM
:lol:

:jack: Hey! Why is it whenever I DIE, you guys don't do that... You know... That thing!
:sam: What thing, sir?
:tealc: I do not understand what you are referring to, O'Neill.
:jack: Oh c'mon! You know... that... Uh... (shoots Daniel, who was minding his own business)
:daniel: GACK!
:tealc: Oh my Gods, you killed Daniel O'Neill!
:sam: You *******! ... Sir!
:jack: See? Now, watch this... (shoots himself)
:tealc: Oh my Gods, O'Neill killed himself!
:sam: Um... He's a *******?

Commander Jumper
August 3rd, 2006, 06:15 AM
:lol: man this thread just keeps getting better

:hammond:: guys I've started to come to work with out clothes
:jack: :tealc: :sam: :daniel: :cameron: :vala:: EWWWWW
:jonas: *through radio transmission via iris* Ewwwwwww
:daniel:: it burns!!!!!! please Hammond for the love of ducks put on some cover willl ya!!!!
:cameron:: some one say Ducks??? *Releases Howie, his Duck*
*Howie jumps on Daniel's head*
Walter: incoming travelers Sir!!!
*Daniel,whilw attempting to remove the duck wanders to close to the activating Stargate* *KAWOOOOSH*
:daniel:: x_x
:jack_new_anime05:: oh my god!!!! that duck is sooo sexy!!!!
:samanime24:: and it and the kawoosh killed Daniel!
:cameron:: Kawoosh?
:sam:: yeah
:jack:: that Sexy Duck B*st*rd........

Lokii
August 3rd, 2006, 07:06 AM
Daniel: So any word from the Joint Chiefs about your request

(As he is speaking Daniel takes the last blue jello)

Sam: No, not yet, hey that was the last blue jello

Daniel: I am sure they will bring out more

Sam: First you butt in line, and now you take my blue jello!

Daniel: relax same there are other colors

Sam: THAT WAS THE LAST BLUE JELLO, GIVE IT TO ME!

Daniel: Ah, no sorry…

(Daniel walks over and puts his tray down at a table and starts to sit, Sam grabs him pushes him down and impales him with the legs of a chair. )

Hammond: Major Carter you killed Daniel… you …..

O’Neill (Interrupting Hammond): But sir he took the last blue jello for cryin out loud.

Hammond: That evil b******. Guess he had it coming…

Commander Jumper
August 3rd, 2006, 07:42 AM
:D I'll never get tired of this :D

*all the team is at O'Neill's house for team night*
:jack:: let team night begin.....
:tealc:: Shall I put Starwars in the Dvd General?
:jack:: indeed Teal'c
:cameron:: hey guys I brought Howie!!! *Releases duck*
:daniel: *standing by O'Neill's big screen* Crap
*Howie knocks big screen over on Danny*
:jack_new_anime05:: oh my god!!! after all these hours since the kawoosh incedent...that duck is still sexy
:vala:: and it killed Daniel
:jonas:: that T.V. B*st*ard....and that rotten Duck too!!!

Col. Shadow Quinn
August 3rd, 2006, 12:04 PM
:hallowed: i have just become a prior guys!!
:jack: .........
:sam: .........
:tealc: oh god i love you daniel jackson
:samanime15::jack_new_anime25: so whensyou wedding....
:tealc: :daniel: now!!!!
:vala: .....your nuts man!!!! cheater!!!!!
:jack_new_anime25: :samanime15: *shoots daniel and teal'C in the head killing them both*
:jonas: OMFG YOU KILLED DANIEL AND TEAL'C
:jack: :sam: good
:daniel: :tealc: no we can have our gay wedding in hell were no one cares
:sokaranime06: ahhh the agony the pain i'm dyinging it's so gay in here
daniel and teal'C: but your already dead
:sokaranime06: does not matter ...... damn it!!!!
:docianime15: :prioranime07: luke i am your father oops wrong tv series

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 3rd, 2006, 12:57 PM
:daniel: Man, this is just getting weird...
:tealc: I do believe that was the point, Daniel Jackson.
:vala: What exactly is a duck, anyway?
:cameron: To the zoo!

(LATER, AT THE DENVER ZOO...)

:sam: (putting on sunscreen) Uh, Cameron? This isn't the aviary.
:cameron: Er, oops... (checks a map) Damn, they shuffled stuff around since I was last here...
:vala: Oh! Are these ducks, then? (indicates a flock of peacocks, which roam the zoo freely)
:daniel: No, those are peacocks... (breaks off a piece of bread and tosses it to the peacocks)
Peacocks: (surge as one and knock Daniel over, before beginning to devour him)
:daniel: AUGH! NO! OWWWW! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! NOOOO!
(Sam's cellphone rings. She answers.)
:sam: Hello? Sir?
:jack: Did they kill Daniel?
:sam: Yes sir, they killed Daniel.
:jack: Those *******s.

Planetary_Alliance
August 4th, 2006, 01:32 AM
You all are going to kill me from laughing
:hammond: so you know what to do
:jack::sam: :tealc::cameron: :yep let daniel die
:daniel:: what was that
:jack::sam: :tealc::cameron: :time to go
:hammond: dismised
*after they go through the stargate*
Duck: quack
*:daniel: hides behind :tealc: *
:sam:: its ok *pets duck
*they all go to the town*(daniel walking in the middle)
*kull warior shows up*
*everyone moves but daniel who gets shot*
*everyone shrugs*
*:jack_new_anime25: :samanime15: :tealcanime23: kill warior*
*then at scheduled check in*
:hammond:: everything normal
:jack::yep daniel died withing 5 minutes of us getting here
:hammond: : ok cary on

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 4th, 2006, 02:49 PM
:lol:

(At a cemetary, in front of Daniel's tombstone)

Jack: ... Carter? This really nessecary? I mean, seriously, he's just going to come back.
Sam: I don't know, sir. This one seemed pretty permanent...
Jack: Oh c'mon! This is DANIEL we're talking about!
Daniel: (walks up) Oh, hey everyone! ... What are we all doing here?
Jack: See?
Daniel: See what? What were you-? (falls into the open grave. A Deathglider crashes on top of him)
Jack: ... (turns to Teal'c) You wanna say it, or should I?
Vala: Oh my God, they killed Daniel! (everyone looks at her) ... What? Aren't you going to say the next part?

Mickey23
August 4th, 2006, 05:41 PM
OMG guys! This is great!
I will definitely try to come up with something, lame as it may be.
Aw, poor Daniel, dead again. :danielanime08:

Col. Shadow Quinn
August 4th, 2006, 08:02 PM
:jack: Come on Daniel, skydiving is fun.
:daniel: Okay*jumps off without a parachute*
:jack: Okay....
:sam: Where's Daniel?
:jack: Died while skydiving, he fell into a volcano. He wasn't wearing his parachute either.
SG1: OMFG, Daniel killed himself!!!!!!!!

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 4th, 2006, 08:33 PM
:jack: Come on Daniel, skydiving is fun.
:daniel: Okay*jumps off without a parachute
:jack: Okay....
:sam: Where's Daniel?
:jack: Died while skydiving, he fell into a volcano. He wasn't wearing his parachute either.
SG1: OMFG, Daniel killed himself!!!!!!!!

Vala: That *******! He was trying to get out of caring for our baby!
Dr. Lam: Mine too!
Half the female staff of the SGC: US TOO!
Jack: ... Damn! I knew Daniel was liked, but Jesus!
Teal'c: Indeed. Colonel Carter, why are you turning red?
Jack: Oh god... Not you too!
Sam: (squeak) I'm sorry sir! He's just... I was just...
Daniel: (comes back from the dead) Hey guys, what'd I... Miss...?
Jack: Ladies! Looks like Daniel faked this one.
Women: GET HIM!
Daniel: HEY! WAIT! IT'S NOT MY FAULT! THEY DRUGGED ME I SWEEAR! AAAUUUUGHHHHHH! (is torn apart)
Sam: Oh my God, they killed Daniel!
Jack: You *******s! ... Wait...

Commander Jumper
August 5th, 2006, 08:26 AM
:cameron:: welcome to my beautiful home, team.
:sam:: :S nice place Cam
:cameron:: Thanks
*his home is Duck themed*
:daniel:: hey nice sculpture *looks at giant pointy duck sculpture*
:cameron:: Thanks *leans on duck Sculpture* *duck sculpture lands on Daniel*
:daniel:: x_x
:jack_new_anime05:: Oh my god these Ducks are sexy
:samanime24:: and they killed Daniel

jesserella
August 5th, 2006, 08:32 AM
:weir: hello jackson welcome to atlantis
:daniel: thankyou and i'm just in time to make an announcement,
:sam: yes, its great news
:daniel: me and sam are getting married
:jack_new_anime05: what????? she's mine
:mckay: no she's mine
:wraith: actually i think you'll find that she's mine
*wraith sucks life out of jackson, o'neill and McKay*
:weiranime34: oh my god you killed daniel mckay and O'nei...... arggh
*wraith sucks life out of weir*
:wraith37: i'm a bar****d

Commander Jumper
August 5th, 2006, 08:37 AM
Being me....I must include my ducks :D

:cameron:: *walks in with duck)

*everyone raises an eyebrow)

:cameron:: what! I thought today was bring your duck to work day.
:daniel:: you're just saying that so you could stop looking stupid and try to fit in
:cameron:: Howie Attack!!! *Releases Howie* Muahahahha
*howie kills Daniel*
:teyla:: stupid duck...killed Daniel
:mckay:: stupid duck
:daniel:: wrong show!!!
:sheppard:: dead
:daniel:: right x_x

susanne
August 5th, 2006, 09:50 AM
------off world------
:daniel: : hey what does this do?
:jack: : uh dan i wouldnt touch things....
:tealc: : indeed
:vala: : remember the last time you messed with something?
:daniel: : im sure it wont happen this time
* touches a carving of a monster*
:daniel: : see nothng happened!
*carving comes to life*
:jack: :told you.....
:daniel: : argg!
*carving crushes daniel*
:vala: : omg! it killed daniel!
:sam: : you b*s*erds!

Commander Jumper
August 5th, 2006, 09:53 AM
:daniel:: Vala I'm breaking up with you
:vala09:
:cameron::hey gus sup?
:vala:: mind showing me your duck?
:cameron:: no I don't *pulls out Howie*
:daniel23:: I hate you *gets mauled by duck*
:sam:: wow what a spurise....Daniel has died...what ever shall we do
:jack:: I do not know, that duck ******* will pay big

jesserella
August 5th, 2006, 09:58 AM
nice one sussie :D

:daniel: hi guys whats going on today?
:jack: nothing
:sam: yep nothing
:daniel: what do you mean nothing,
:vala: nothing,
:daniel: but thats not how this works, something stupid is sopposed to happen then i you know..... die
:jack: not today
:daniel: what do mean not today?
:sam: we're on strike
:tealc: * walks in* shoots daniel
:sam34: teal'c what did you kill daniel for, didn't you get the memo about being on strike
:tealc: i did not major carter
:jack: bar****d memo delivering guy

Planetary_Alliance
August 5th, 2006, 10:02 AM
---At checkin---
:hammond: so what does it look like
:jack: well sir i dont think they like geeks with glasses
:tealc: Indeed
:hammond: why do you say that
:sam: well sir
"---*FlASHBACK*---
:sam: we came throught the gate and the first thing they did was take us to a library
:jack: just what jackson likes
:sam: but then a group of kids came in and
:jack: They broke his glasses sir and riped a few books
:hammond: then what
:jack: well Daniell then got pissed and started yelling
:sam: so the librarian came over and shot him in the legs. then the kids came over and dragged him
:tealc: i tried to stop them
:jack: but
:sam: they quarterd him sir
:jack: Thoes B*A*T*R*S killed daniel
---*flashback ends*---
:hammond: that is why
:daniel: hey guys
:jack: nevermind sir

Commander Jumper
August 5th, 2006, 10:03 AM
:lol: Jess :D

:jack:: Daniel guess what!
:daniel:: what Jack?
:jack::after meeting Howie...I decided I'd get my own duck...one of Howies Ducklings...I named him Howie Jr.
:daniel:: wow Jack...you original ideas never cease to amaze
:jack:: thank you....hey was that sarcasm i heard
:daniel:: no Jack it wasn't
:jack:: oh goo-hey!!! *relases Howie Jr.*
:daniel:: x_x
:jack:: Bad Howie Jr. Bad
:cameron:: don't worry...it's normal
:jonas:: ******* ducks
:vala:: mmmm.....I like ducks

susanne
August 5th, 2006, 10:10 AM
*daniel walks into the mess*
:danielanime07: : hey who grabbed the last blue jello?!
:jack_new_anime06: : i did haha
:daniel23: : damn cant we share?!
:jack_new_anime05: : NOOO! ill get cooties
:daniel09: : give me it or else!
:jack_new15: : or else what?
:daniel23: : or ill....ill damn
*tries to swipe jello*
:jack_new_anime25: : oh no you dont!
*shoots daniel into swiss cheese*
:sam59: : *walks in* hey guys whas going on........
:jack_new_anime18: : dans dead again
:samanime24: : jack you b*sterd!

:indeed:

jesserella
August 5th, 2006, 10:11 AM
hi puddle jumper 1. love the ducks lol,
and PA lol

:ronan: i have a duck, me and teyla found a whole group on P3X 973
:sheppard: isn't that the world where we found the T rex
:weiranime33: uh, ronan, this is very important where is your duck?
:ronan: daniels looking after it
*everyone runs to daniels quarters*
:danielanime08: can someone please help me
*daniel is cornered by large dinosoar*
:mckay09: why bother, your gunna ascend again anyway
*everyone leaves*
*daniels scream is heard down tho corridor*
:weiranime34: see it killed daniel, thats why you should not keep dinosaurs as pets
:ronan: yes mrs weir, *under his breath* you bar****d

Planetary_Alliance
August 5th, 2006, 10:11 AM
:jack: you know lets just kill daniel and get it over with
:daniel: what no
:hammond: you have a go
*:tealc: shoots daniel*
*:daniel: ascends*
:daniel: fine ill frie you
*:daniel: kills :jack_new_anime05: :tealcanime49: :sam49::valaanime03: :hammond08: *
*others bring them back and decend daneil*
:jack: ok time to take turns
:hammond04: kills daniel
he comes back
:samanime15: kills daniel
he comes back
:tealcanime23: kills daniel
he comes back
:jack_new_anime25: kills daniel
he comes back
:valaanime03: kills daniel
he comes back

Commander Jumper
August 5th, 2006, 10:14 AM
hahahahahaha :D *sigh*
:daniel:: I'm sleepy
*falls asleep*
:cameron:: me two
:jack:: me three
*both let go of their duckies* *duckies swarm and attack Daniel*
-----the next morning-----
:sam:: Oh my Daniel is dead
:vala:: those dum ducks

Planetary_Alliance
August 5th, 2006, 10:14 AM
Jess, puddle jumper 1, and sussie if i died now i would die laughing

jesserella
August 5th, 2006, 10:15 AM
me too, i love this thread :P

Planetary_Alliance
August 5th, 2006, 10:16 AM
me too, i love this thread :P
why dont we have this on the sony boards
jura and essex and probably Vala mal duran would have some good ones
even Gort and natana would

Commander Jumper
August 5th, 2006, 10:18 AM
:daniel::I got my self a duck too
:jack: :cameron:: cool!!! let's start a club.....we're already triplets
:daniel:: sweet, guys meet, Aubrey II
AubreyII: feed me Seymore....I mean Daniel
:daniel:: uhhh what
Aubrey *eats Daniel*
:jack::******* ducks

jesserella
August 5th, 2006, 10:24 AM
:hammond: well its another beautiful morning at the SGC,
:sam: morning sir
:jack: morning
:tealc: it is indeed a fine start to the day
:hammond: someone's missing, hmmm.... oh i know wheres daniel?
:sam34: i don't know
*siler* oh yea sorry guys he's dead
:vala: again, i wonder how he gets any work done
:daniel: i'm back
:hammond04: shoots daniel, thats for ruining this beautiful morning,
:sam: sir you killed daniel,
:jack: you, nah i can't say it, my hearts really not in it any more:jack_new15:

ps yea this would be great on sony, but we don't have the character smilies, could invite a few ppl here

Commander Jumper
August 5th, 2006, 10:26 AM
Sony???

susanne
August 5th, 2006, 10:28 AM
the sony boards are a little like these but they dont have as many cool threads lol
http://boards.sonypictures.com/boards/forumdisplay.php?f=24
heres the link take a look

Commander Jumper
August 5th, 2006, 10:29 AM
interesting....I will take a look later...I'm very busy right now.....*bookmarks page* :D

Planetary_Alliance
August 5th, 2006, 10:32 AM
*:daniel: walks in with his eyes glowing*
:tealcanime44: stuns him
:jack: now what do we do with him
:daniel: they are contacts
:jack_new_anime25: i could just shoot him
:tealcanime23: no let me
:bratac13: walks in
:daniel: im not a gou'ld
:bratacanime13: i could do it
:cameronanime12: no let me try out my shiny sword
:cameron: does anyone have a turkey sand which
:vala: what about the ducks has anyone seen them
:sam: no
:ronananime01: i'll handel this
:hammond: :weir: you can all kill him
:wraithanime11: starts to feed
----continued on next post----

Planetary_Alliance
August 5th, 2006, 10:33 AM
----continued from before----
*:ronananime16: :valaanime03: :cameronanime10: :tealc39: :bratacanime13: :samanime15: :jack_new_anime25: everyone kills daniel and the wraith*
:jack: thats a rip of the wraith got to him before us
:sheppard: that bas**rd

Commander Jumper
August 5th, 2006, 10:37 AM
:cameron:: look at Howie....I let him hold my sword

*WARNING GRAPHIC DETAILS FOLLOW*
*shows duck with sword through body*
:cameron:: awwww....who's a cute snookums who is who is Howie is.
:vala:: mmmmmm duck.....
*Howie rises from the dead and shove sword through Danny's heart, making a Danny/duck shish-ca-bob*
:jack:: mmmm.....tastey little *******
:tealc:: indeed
:vala:: I'll start a fire

susanne
August 5th, 2006, 10:38 AM
:tealc: : it is time for shu'nac
:sam34: : and that is???
:tealc: : it is a time honured tradition that the wimpiest person gets a beating from a warrior....who is the wimpiest person?
:sam::cameron: :vala: :hammond: : DANIEL!
:daniel: : what?
:tealc: : it is time for shu'nac prepare for a beating
:daniel23: : crap

:tealcanime23: *blasts daniels head off*

:jack_new_anime05: : oh my god he just killed daniel!
:samanime24: : you b*sterds!

jesserella
August 5th, 2006, 10:38 AM
*knock knock*
:hammond: *opens door* hello
:anubis: :sokaranime06: :yu: :docianime15: :prioranime07: :wraith34: we heard that were allowed to kill daniel without getting in trouble for it
:hammond03: join the cue
:jack_new_anime25: :samanime15: :tealc39: :cameronanime10: :ronananime01: yea get in line!!!
:danielanime08: why does everyone pick on me
:danielanime07: *dies*
:hammond: ok, you killed daniel, NEXT

ps pj sony is cool, small, but cool, be good to see you there!

Commander Jumper
August 5th, 2006, 10:42 AM
I'll totally check it out :D

*at Howies Burial*
:cameron:: Howie was a kind little duckie who loved every one
:daniel:: that duck can rot in hell'
:jack:: *shoots Daniel* have respect for the dead you *******

susanne
August 5th, 2006, 10:47 AM
I'll totally check it out :D

*at Howies Burial*
:cameron:: Howie was a kind little duckie who loved every one
:daniel:: that duck can rot in hell'
:jack:: *shoots Daniel* have respect for the dead you *******
hahahahaha i love that! *wipes away tear*:cool:

Commander Jumper
August 5th, 2006, 10:48 AM
I've decided to join Sony.....:D

jesserella
August 5th, 2006, 10:48 AM
continued from ^
:sam: jack at a funeral
:jack: sorry
:daniel: *descends* you will be, shoots jack
:sam: omg you killed jack, wait thats not right
:tealc: you ruined the game, you ba****d

Planetary_Alliance
August 5th, 2006, 10:49 AM
I've decided to join Sony.....:D
YAY

jesserella
August 5th, 2006, 10:49 AM
cool let me know your screenname if you change it :D

Commander Jumper
August 5th, 2006, 10:52 AM
indeed I'm "ACrazyperson"

Planetary_Alliance
August 5th, 2006, 10:53 AM
indeed I'm "ACrazyperson"
Cool my name is the same
i will be right back i am going to make the kill daniel thread in the sg1 area
on sony

Commander Jumper
August 5th, 2006, 10:58 AM
ha good idea:D

Planetary_Alliance
August 5th, 2006, 11:02 AM
ha good idea:D
problem is its not as funny without the smilies

Commander Jumper
August 5th, 2006, 11:04 AM
yeah there is that

jesserella
August 5th, 2006, 11:05 AM
:jack_new_anime18: daniel! come back here you know it has to be done
:danielanime07: no, its not fair, i don't wanna die again:danielanime08:
:sam: whats the problem,
:jack_new_anime25: no problem, just killing daniel again, *shoots daniel
*nothing happens*
:danielanime13: ha, it worked, ha ha ha, i have another one of those sheilds mckay had, i'm in-vul-nerable, yay
:samanime24: thats cheating
:tealc44: you mean we can't kill daniel, you bas***d

Planetary_Alliance
August 5th, 2006, 11:06 AM
here is the sony version
Sony version (http://boards.sonypictures.com/boards/showthread.php?p=508184#post508184)
well got to go

Commander Jumper
August 5th, 2006, 11:10 AM
:cameron:: after alot of mourning and thinking I've decied to get a new duck Howie *shows off duck*
:jack:: your very creative with names Cam
:cameron:: I know
:sam:: yeah
:tealc:: indeed
:daniel:: whatever
:cameron:: you dare mock me boy?
:daniel:: you know me....of course I dare
:cameron: *Releases duck* *duck kills Daniel*
:sam:: oh my god you killed Daniel
:cameron:: goos duckie good duckie
:jack:: goos thing we haven't left the cemetary yet

jesserella
August 5th, 2006, 11:21 AM
:danielanime07: this game is unfair and i refuse to play
:jack: so what you mean you won't defend yourself, wheres the fun in that
:daniel: (happy) you mean you won't kill me
:jack_new_anime25: no i just meant it won't be as fun, (shoots daniel)
:samanime24: jack you killed daniel, and you got blood everywhere, i just cleaned you bas***d

Elles
August 5th, 2006, 05:35 PM
Kinda a spoiler from Insiders...
Daniel: Ooh! Fish sticks!
Ba'al Clone #2: Hey those were my fish sticks! *throws toaster through Daniel's head*
Daniel: Ahh! Not another toaster!
Carter: Oh my God! One of out Ba'als killed Daniel!
O'Neill: You b******!

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 5th, 2006, 05:51 PM
O... Kay... This has descended a bit. Let's bring up the quality of the humor shall we?

:vala: Damnit Daniel, I've had it!
:daniel: Huh?
:vala: I have tried, and tried, and I've had it! You are so obviously gay!
:daniel: WHAT?!
:sam: Huh, that explains a lot...
:cameron: Yeah! ... Wait. Like what?
:sam: Why his girlfriends always die, or become hosts to Goa'uld, or turn out to be evil psychopaths in disguise...
:cameron: They have gaydar?
:sam: Oh, and why he and the General were so close... And why he always descended naked in front of Jack...
:daniel: I'M NOT GAY!
:cameron: Sorry man, but the evidence is piling up...
:daniel: Fine! I'll prove I'm not gay! Walter, dial a planet of hot women!
Walter: At random?
:daniel: Yes, at random! I'm going to prove I'm not gay!
:vala: This, I have to see.
:sam: Me too!
:tealc: Indeed!

(LATER...)

:daniel: Women, I'm here! I know I resisted your advances before, but now I'm willing and ready!
Women: Mmmm... Yummy! (they drag him away... And dump him in a pot of boiling water)
Daniel: AUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!
:sam: Damnit! This is the world of the cannibal Amazons! I can't believe I forgot!
:vala: Oh my God, they prevented Daniel from proving he's not gay!
:cameron: You b*st*rds!

Elles
August 5th, 2006, 06:03 PM
O... Kay... This has descended a bit. Let's bring up the quality of the humor shall we?

HEY!:sheppard33:

Commander Jumper
August 5th, 2006, 06:03 PM
:lol: :D I've got nothing :D

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 5th, 2006, 06:04 PM
HEY!:sheppard33:

Not you! Your comedy is always great! It's some of the other posters who haven't been as... Inspired.

I mean, we've done the Howie Duck thing to death. Let's move on, people!

Commander Jumper
August 5th, 2006, 06:07 PM
Not you! Your comedy is always great! It's some of the other posters who haven't been as... Inspired.

I mean, we've done the Howie Duck thing to death. Let's move on, people!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo Howie must live!!!!! Long live Howie, Howie Jr., Howie the deceased, and AubreyII.

Elles
August 5th, 2006, 06:09 PM
Not you! Your comedy is always great! It's some of the other posters who haven't been as... Inspired.

I mean, we've done the Howie Duck thing to death. Let's move on, people!
Oh... That makes me feel... What I mean to say is... My self-esteem is the highest it's been since Irresistable.

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 5th, 2006, 06:14 PM
Oh... That makes me feel... What I mean to say is... My self-esteem is the highest it's been since Irresistable.

(hugs her) It should be much higher. Now then... PJ1! Let's just let Howie rest for a little while. Why don't you have Daniel get killed in ways that involve penguins?

full.infinity
August 5th, 2006, 06:34 PM
:mckay: on Tok'ra armbands: I just rewrote the entire GNU/Linux system!
:sam: Let me have a look.
:sam: types on console: kill -9 daniel
:jack: Kill nine Daniels? You b**t**d!

Commander Jumper
August 5th, 2006, 06:35 PM
(hugs her) It should be much higher. Now then... PJ1! Let's just let Howie rest for a little while. Why don't you have Daniel get killed in ways that involve penguins?
can the penguin be name Kenny???
I don't care...he's Kenny, Howies distant cousin...who live in Peurto Rico...but vacations in Colorado Springs......

:daniel:: guys watch me *goes outside*
:jack:: wow!!! he hasn't died!!!
:cameron:: Amazing.
:tealc:: I'd like you all to meet Kenny Geekkiller *brings out penuin*
:tealc:: He's me beeeeeest frieeeeeend!!
*Kenny kills Daniel with his lazer vision* (I don't care what you say Andrew.....Penguins have lazer vision)
:sam:: oh my God!!! that penguin killed daniel!!!!
:jack:: ****** Penguins

Unorthodox
August 5th, 2006, 07:13 PM
*wiseman* "Why are you here, Daniel-san?
:daniel: "To learn of wisdom."
*wiseman* "I think I should just kick you in the nuts, karate-style."
:daniel: "Can I at least see a hot chick one last time?"
*wiseman* "Sure" *pulls out poster of hot chick* "There, you've seen one."
*wiseman kicks Daniel in the nuts, causing Daniel to have a massive hemorraghe*
:tealc: "OMG! The Wiseman killed Daniel!!!"
:jack: *while meditating* "That b******..."

I'm sorry. I have shallow humor :o

Elles
August 5th, 2006, 08:45 PM
Carter: Alright... Daniel... I need you to stand here in front of this gun.
Daniel: No...
Carter: Why?
Daniel: 'Cause then you'll kill me.
Carter: Now I won't.
Daniel: Yes you will.
Carter: Will not.
Daniel: Will too...
Carter: Will not.
Daniel: Will too...
Carter: Will not.
Daniel: Will too...
Carter: Ugh... If you do it, I'll buy you an ice cream cone.
Daniel: :daniel: Ok!
Carter: *pulls trigger*
Daniel: AHHHHH!!!
Carter: What?
Daniel: You shot me!
Carter: No I didn't... that was Super Soaker... not a P-90.
Daniel: Oh...
Carter: But I filled it with an extremely corrosive acid... You have five seconds to live.
Daniel: What?!? *dies*
Carter: Oh my God! I killed Daniel!
O'Neill: *riding down the hallway on a bicycle* You b*st*rd!
Carter::samanime51: I love it when he says that...

Col. Shadow Quinn
August 5th, 2006, 08:53 PM
:jack: hey, Carter, what are you making?
:sam: HCl for Daniel.
:jack: Is it ready yet?
:sam: Yes it is sir.
:jack: Daniel, Report to Col. Carter's lab.
:daniel: Okay.
:sam: Drink this water, I have completely purified the water, tell me what you think of the water.
:daniel: Augh, it burns, my stomach has ruptured, oh the inhumanity. What is this this!?
:sam: HCl (hydrochloric Acid)
:daniel:*stomach acid and HCl mix and eat daniel.*
:jack: :sam: *roflmao at a safe distance*

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 5th, 2006, 09:18 PM
can the penguin be name Kenny???
I don't care...he's Kenny, Howies distant cousin...who live in Peurto Rico...but vacations in Colorado Springs......

:daniel:: guys watch me *goes outside*
:jack:: wow!!! he hasn't died!!!
:cameron:: Amazing.
:tealc:: I'd like you all to meet Kenny Geekkiller *brings out penuin*
:tealc:: He's me beeeeeest frieeeeeend!!
*Kenny kills Daniel with his lazer vision* (I don't care what you say Andrew.....Penguins have lazer vision)
:sam:: oh my God!!! that penguin killed daniel!!!!
:jack:: ****** Penguins

LOL, that's okay. The penguins are fine for a while. Then, we switch back to ducks. Because duck and penguin are funny words and concepts.


*wiseman* "Why are you here, Daniel-san?
"To learn of wisdom."
*wiseman* "I think I should just kick you in the nuts, karate-style."
"Can I at least see a hot chick one last time?"
*wiseman* "Sure" *pulls out poster of hot chick* "There, you've seen one."
*wiseman kicks Daniel in the nuts, causing Daniel to have a massive hemorraghe*
"OMG! The Wiseman killed Daniel!!!"
*while meditating* "That b******..."

I'm sorry. I have shallow humor

That's okay. It works. It's just OOC for Daniel. THat's my only issue. We've got to keep Daniel more in character as he dies, people!

Col. Shadow Quinn
August 5th, 2006, 09:34 PM
:daniel: I can't live anymore without dying and coming back to life anymore.
:jack: Carter, hows the plan coming along?
:sam: Great, filling his home with salt gas is almost done.
:daniel: OMFG, clouds are eating me, AAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
:jack: hehe
:sam: hehe

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 5th, 2006, 10:05 PM
(Jack, Sam, and Daniel are standing in front of a stage in a stadium. Thousands of people are around them, talking and laughing)

Sam: So, let me get this straight, General... We're throwing a Stargate Command Aid Concert?
Jack: Brilliant, isn't it? All these artists will sing to support poor people... Namely us.
Daniel: THis seems... Really unethical.
Jack: What? We'll use part of the money to aid other planets. It's still 'aid', you know. It just also happens to 'aid' us.
Daniel: Well... ALlright. Who's up first?
Jack: Uhhh...

(The curtain opens. Ozzy Osborne emerges, and begins singing with his band. Partway through the song, he leaps off the stage, grabs Daniel, and bites his head off)

Jack: Oh my God, Ozzy Osborne killed Daniel!
Sam: That b*st*rd!

(Teal'c retaliates by shotting Ozzy with a staff weapon)

Audience: (half of them as one) Oh my God, he killed Ozzy Osborne!
Audience: (the other half) YOU *******!

Jack: (running with Sam and Teal'c, with the audience chasing after them) Maybe this wasn't such a good idea!
Sam: No kidding, sir!

Elles
August 5th, 2006, 11:17 PM
*chuckle*
Audience: Wait! Will Ferrell is on stage!
*Daniel fades back into existence*
Daniel: Hey guys!
Carter: Hey Daniel.
Daniel: Oh my God, is that Will Ferrell?
Carter: Yes.
Daniel: I'm going to kill that son of a... *grabs nearest object, which happens to be a rocket launcher*
Carter: Daniel, you're holding that the wrong...
*Daniel gets blown up*
Carter: You know... I feel like blaming Daniel for holding the rocket launcher wrong... but really I hate Will Ferrell so much I'm going to blame him. Which means I'm going to kill him!
*grabs Will Ferrell, dials the Stargate, and sends him to a black hole*
:samanime27:
Audience: Oh my God! Sam killed Will Ferrell!
Carter: Actually... because of the time dilation, he's not dead yet...
Audience: Oh...
*60 years later*
Audience members (all in different parts of the world): Oh my God! Sam killed Will Ferrell!
Daniel: You b*st*rd!
Carter: Shouldn't you be dead?
Daniel: I came back... again.

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 5th, 2006, 11:47 PM
*chuckle*
Audience: Wait! Will Ferrell is on stage!
*Daniel fades back into existence*
Daniel: Hey guys!
Carter: Hey Daniel.
Daniel: Oh my God, is that Will Ferrell?
Carter: Yes.
Daniel: I'm going to kill that son of a... *grabs nearest object, which happens to be a rocket launcher*
Carter: Daniel, you're holding that the wrong...
*Daniel gets blown up*
Carter: You know... I feel like blaming Daniel for holding the rocket launcher wrong... but really I hate Will Ferrell so much I'm going to blame him. Which means I'm going to kill him!
*grabs Will Ferrell, dials the Stargate, and sends him to a black hole*
:samanime27:
Audience: Oh my God! Sam killed Will Ferrell!
Carter: Actually... because of the time dilation, he's not dead yet...
Audience: Oh...
*60 years later*
Audience members (all in different parts of the world): Oh my God! Sam killed Will Ferrell!
Daniel: You b*st*rd!
Carter: Shouldn't you be dead?
Daniel: I came back... again.


:lol: You get green for this.

Elles
August 6th, 2006, 12:03 AM
Oh no, it was a pleasure giving Will Ferrell a slow... painful... death.

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 6th, 2006, 12:17 AM
Oh no, it was a pleasure giving Will Ferrell a slow... painful... death.

It was a pleasure to watch, heh heh heh...

Daniel: Oma? Exactly what are you doing here?
Oma: The rabbit is never far ahead of the fox.
Daniel: ... Okay... Does this mean you're stalking me?
Oma: Even the birds have nests.
Daniel: ... Fwuh?
Oma: But the spoon is only as shiney as the cleaner makes it.
Daniel: ... You made that one up!
Oma: (blasts Daniel with lightening)
Daniel: X.X
Jack: Oh My God, Oma Desalla killed Daniel!
Sam: You b*tch!
Teal'c: ... Is it not b*st*rd, Colonel Carter?
Sam: Not in this case...

susanne
August 6th, 2006, 04:22 AM
It was a pleasure to watch, heh heh heh...

Daniel: Oma? Exactly what are you doing here?
Oma: The rabbit is never far ahead of the fox.
Daniel: ... Okay... Does this mean you're stalking me?
Oma: Even the birds have nests.
Daniel: ... Fwuh?
Oma: But the spoon is only as shiney as the cleaner makes it.
Daniel: ... You made that one up!
Oma: (blasts Daniel with lightening)
Daniel: X.X
Jack: Oh My God, Oma Desalla killed Daniel!
Sam: You b*tch!
Teal'c: ... Is it not b*st*rd, Colonel Carter?
Sam: Not in this case...
hahahahaha i loved that! :D you need to do more stuff like that my sides are splitting hahaha

jesserella
August 6th, 2006, 07:45 AM
O... Kay... This has descended a bit. Let's bring up the quality of the humor shall we?

:( i take offense to that too

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 6th, 2006, 08:28 AM
:( i take offense to that too

I meant no disrespect.

Planetary_Alliance
August 6th, 2006, 08:29 AM
I meant no disrespect.
then what did you mean

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 6th, 2006, 08:30 AM
Just meant that, while this stuff is still funny, there are ways we can make it funnier, that's all.

Planetary_Alliance
August 6th, 2006, 08:31 AM
ok

jesserella
August 6th, 2006, 08:45 AM
still don't think its all that nice, its hard enough trying to come up with something funny without someone saying its not funny,
now i can't think of anything

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 6th, 2006, 08:52 AM
Daniel: Uh, Sam? Isn' t the 'gate a little... Off?
Sam: Hm? Oh! Oh yes, we're fixing that. Seems a screw got loose somewhere...
(The Stargate's supports fall apart, and the 'Gate falls forward. Sam is safe inside the 'Gate, but Daniel is crushed)
Daniel: GACK! (squish)
Sam: Oh my God, the Stargate killed Daniel!
Teal'c: (points at the gate) You b*st*rd!

susanne
August 6th, 2006, 08:52 AM
:cameron: : hey guys lets go to the zoo!
:tealc: : will there be koalas?
:cameron: : of course teal'c buddy
:sam: : im in!
:daniel: : i dunno theres lions and tigers and bears!
:cameron: : come on daniel i wanna see howie
:tealc: : who is howie?
:cameron: the pet koala i adopted
:daniel: : well ok then
-------at the zoo---------
:cameron: can i hold howie?*grabs howie* awww hes so cute!
:sam: : can i hold him? *gets howie* aww isnt he?! here teal'c
:tealc: : indeed daniel jackson? *holds out howie*
:cameron: : come on dan their friendly
:daniel: : well ok then *gets howie* is he suppost to stink?!
*howie bites daniels ear*
:daniel: : GETITOFFGETITOFF! *runs around and trips over the bars into the lions and tigers and bears cage*
:daniel: : NOOOO!
* gets torn to peices*
:sam: : omg! lions and tigers and bears killed daniel!
:jack: : lionsandtigersandbearslionsandtigersandbears....oh sorry....YOU B*S*ERDS!

Planetary_Alliance
August 6th, 2006, 08:55 AM
Nice sussie
i am out of ideas

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 6th, 2006, 09:06 AM
Nice sussie
i am out of ideas

Oh c'mon! I'm sure there are plenty of ideas where the others came from! Think "Penguins of Doom!"

(SG1 steps onto a new, uncharted planet)
Daniel: Architecture looks old Sumerian... But... Uh...
Jack: Really big?
Daniel: Yeah. Almost as though these people are...
(A gigantic boulder falls and crushes Daniel)
Jack: Oh My God, they killed Daniel!
Sam: (shakes her fist at a pair of giant aliens) You b*st*rds!
Giant Alien 1: [Oh my Creator, my ball squished that poor creature!]
Giant Alien 2: [You *******!]

jesserella
August 6th, 2006, 09:08 AM
i'm out of ideas too, just scared i'm not funny

susanne
August 6th, 2006, 09:09 AM
jess i thaught your other posts were hilarious i really wanna see what you do next

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 6th, 2006, 09:11 AM
i'm out of ideas too, just scared i'm not funny

Oh for crying out... LooK! I didn't mean that whole "increase quality of the humor" stuff, allright? I'm sorry! So, please, just post what you think is funny, and let us decide for ourselves if it's funny or not?

Planetary_Alliance
August 6th, 2006, 09:22 AM
but we dont know whats funny

jesserella
August 6th, 2006, 09:24 AM
ok i'll try

*alien temple*
:daniel: this is really fascanating, i mean the dialect is a varient of....
:jack: ahhhh, danial stop, really, i'll leave you to it, have fun
*jack goes and sits by carter*
:sam: daniels having fun
:tealc: indeed
:jack: hmmm whats this *picks up alien artefact)
:sam: jack you shouldn't really touch anything,
:jack: whats the worst that can happen, *presses button on artefact*
*danial silently implodes behind them*
:jack: *shakes artefact, oblivious to what happened* i think its broken
*daniel descends*
:jack: *pressed button again*
:danielanime07: not again *implodes*
:jack_new15: see sam, nothing happenned
*danial descends*
*jack presses button*
:tealc: *turns around* o mg your repeatedly killing danial
:samanime24: you bas***d
:jack_new_anime07: really, cool, it does work

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 6th, 2006, 09:27 AM
but we dont know whats funny

For crying out loud, stop being such a drama queen and have fun! That's what this thread is for!

Jesserella, that's hilarious. ^__^ Good job!

Planetary_Alliance
August 6th, 2006, 09:30 AM
*:ronan: :tealc: are having a fight*
:tealc: im the bestest
:ronan: no i am
:tealc: i am
:ronan: i am
:daniel: no i am
:ronananime16: :danielanime08: :tealcanime23:
:sam: you ba*s*Ard*
:jack: you killed daniel

Planetary_Alliance
August 6th, 2006, 09:30 AM
For crying out loud, stop being such a drama queen and have fun! That's what this thread is for!

Jesserella, that's hilarious. ^__^ Good job!
I am just kidding

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 6th, 2006, 09:31 AM
*:ronan: :tealc: are having a fight*
:tealc: im the bestest
:ronan: no i am
:tealc: i am
:ronan: i am
:daniel: no i am
:ronananime16: :danielanime08: :tealcanime23:
:sam: you ba*s*Ard*
:jack: you killed daniel

See? That's funny. Good work. Keep it up!

jesserella
August 6th, 2006, 10:00 AM
:daniel: hey guys i know its a bit sudden but i've decided on a career change, i'm joining the circus, i hope you'll all come to my first performance
:jack_new_anime05: :samanime24: :tealcanime49: uh, ok dan

*at the circus*
*daniel swings on the trapize, slips, but lands safely*
:sam: omg the trapeze almost killed daniel
*daniel fends off a lion with a chair, he drops the chair, but the lion decides its not hungry*
:tealc: omg that lion almost killed daniel
:vala: what exactly is the point of a circus
:jack: who invited you?

*at the end of the circus they all walk out and congradulate daniel
:daniel: i think i've finally found my calling
* daniel trips on a peg and the whole circus callapses on top of him*
:jack: omg the circus finally killed daniel
:vala: (to daniel) you broke the circus you bar****d

Planetary_Alliance
August 6th, 2006, 10:06 AM
Nice jess

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 6th, 2006, 10:11 AM
LOL, indeed.

Planetary_Alliance
August 6th, 2006, 10:11 AM
:daniel: i quit
:hammond: ok but you know we cant let you leave with what you know
:ford: i know what to do
*dream sequecne*
:ford: we send him throught the stargate:vortex04:to the wraith:psycho:
:mckay: you didnt kill daniel
:daniel: no i killed you
:vala: you B*s*a*d
:sam: you killed rodney
:mckayanime17: i go it:daniel:
:sheppard: you bas**rd
:fordanime03: you killed daniel

Planetary_Alliance
August 6th, 2006, 10:46 AM
OK so its not my best ever

jesserella
August 6th, 2006, 11:05 AM
i still like it, lol, its getting harder to think of ones

jesserella
August 6th, 2006, 11:16 AM
:wraith: * steve the wraith was minding his own buisness, just feeding of a few humans when suddenly the stargate activates
:ronan: wraith
:mckay: what a suprise
:sheppard: well lets kick there buts
:ronananime16:
* steve managed to get away but ronan singed his jacket and we all know how much steve likes his jacket, so now steve is mad*
:mckayanime09: i'm a genius. go on you can say it, i made a ship that can get to earth in one day
* steve hides abourd ship, finds nice quarters filled with old boreing artefacts*
:daniel: hey is someone there
:wraithanime11: exelent a snack for the journey
:danielanime07: honestly i don't taste very good
*wraith feeds on daniel*
:weir: omg steve the wraith killed daniel, does any of this seem familiar to anyone
:mckay: ask the writers there bar****s

so not my best, but oh well

jesserella
August 6th, 2006, 11:26 AM
i'm sorry i have to bring back the ducks

* there once was an ugly duckling, it swam sadly down the river just wanting to be loved*

:daniel: wow (pointing) look at that ugly duck
:tealc: all creatures are beautiful daniel jackson, (teal'c takes the duck home and loves it as though it were his own duck)

* three days later a wonderful thing happens, the ugly duck transformes into a beautiful swan, teal'c brings it to the sgc to show everyone*

:daniel: wow teal'c what happened to your duck
*duck* call me ugly * duck attackes daniel and pecks him to death*

:tealc: (proudly) omg it killed daniel, its all growed up,
:sam: it really is a beautiful duck, daniel was a ba****d to call it ugly

susanne
August 6th, 2006, 11:33 AM
:daniel: : i know everything there is to know now
:cameron: : ok then daniel how did the dinusaurs die?
:daniel: : the earth plunged into an ice age
:vala: : you cant possibly know everything
:daniel: : i know sam played "twister" with jack last season
:sam34: i did not!
:daniel: : yes you did i even have footage
:jack_new_anime25: : lier *shoots daniel*
:daniel23: : crap *dies*
:sam: : but now we dont know where the evidence is
:jack: : yeah but now he cant tell anyone

susanne
August 6th, 2006, 11:48 AM
:jack: *comes in wearing dorothy wig and dress* morning happy campers
:sam: : *walks in wearing lion suit*morning jack
:tealc: : *comes in covered in tinfoil* indeed
:jack: : teal'c what are you suppost to be?!
:tealc: : in the spirit of your movie the wizard of oz i am the tinman
:jack: oh ok then
:daniel: :*walks in with a green face*
:jack: : *shoots daniel dead*
:sam: : omg! jack you killed daniel you b*s*ard!
:tealc: : o'neill why did you do that?!
:jack: : hes the wicked with that tries to kill me so i thaught id get him first
:cameron: : actually guys i think he was just sick
:jack: : oh well

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 6th, 2006, 03:33 PM
During 903, "Origin"...

Daniel: (talking to the Doci) Geez, these are your gods? A wall of fire? Excuse me, but this isn't exactly inspiring me to bow down and worship you guys. Maybe to barbecue...
Ori: FWOOSH! (send out a jet of flame that vaporizes Daniel)
Vala: Oh my God, they killed Daniel!
(In the Milky Way Galaxy, as Cameron and Teal'c watch over the comatose Vala and Daniel)
Cameron: You *******s!
(everyone looks at him strangely. He coughs)
Cameron: What?

Commander Jumper
August 6th, 2006, 05:02 PM
YAY!!!! the ducks LIVE!!!!!


In spirit of loving Rodney soooo much...I will use him

:mckay:: I'm smart
:daniel:: cool me too!!!
:mckay:: there can only be one smart person in Atlantis....that's why Jack wouldn't let you go.......
:daniel09:: nu uh
:mckay:: uh hu
:daniel09:: nu uh
:mckayanime17:: stop arguing....I'm the Genuis. *Kills Daniel* Muahahahahahahha *Puts away lightsaber*
:jack:: Oh my gos they killed Daniel with a lightsaber.
:sam:: but who?
:mckay:: who ever had a lightsaber
:jack:: but everyone has one.....I hate it when Teal'c drags us to these Anual Starwars Conventions.....

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 6th, 2006, 05:22 PM
Cameron: (slices off Daniel's head with the sword)
Vala: Sweet! Okay, now say it...
Cameron: There can only be one!
Sam: Oh my God, Cameron killed Daniel!
Daniel: (comes back to life) You b*st*rd! (chops off Cameron's head) PWNED, b*tch!
Sam: Yeah! Highlander sucked!
Jack: Except for Sean Connery.
Sam: Yes sir, except for Sean Connery...

susanne
August 6th, 2006, 05:58 PM
:jack: : morning happy campers
:sam: : gah! fine morning indeed
:jack: : scrooge!
:vala: : she just has pms
:sam: : damn right i do
:daniel: : aw lil sam got pms?!
:sam: *rips daniels head off*
:sam: : never mess a girl with pms!
:vala: : oh my god she killed daniel!
:jack: : uh.......you b*tch?!

Elles
August 6th, 2006, 11:59 PM
:jack: : morning happy campers
:sam: : gah! fine morning indeed
:jack: : scrooge!
:vala: : she just has pms
:sam: : damn right i do
:daniel: : aw lil sam got pms?!
:sam: *rips daniels head off*
:sam: : never mess a girl with pms!
:vala: : oh my god she killed daniel!
:jack: : uh.......you b*tch?!
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! :lol:

Carter: So what are you exactly?
What: I am what.
Carter: What?
What: Exactly.
Carter: What I mean is... how can what be... what?
What: I am what.
Daniel: Well from Dr. Lam's analysis... What can't count to six.
What: What did you say?!?
Daniel: I said you can't cout to six!
What: DIE!
Daniel: What?
What: *punctures coratid artery with a watermelon*
Daniel: Ahh!!!
Carter: Oh my God! What killed Daniel!
O'Neill: What?

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 7th, 2006, 07:06 AM
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! :lol:

Carter: So what are you exactly?
What: I am what.
Carter: What?
What: Exactly.
Carter: What I mean is... how can what be... what?
What: I am what.
Daniel: Well from Dr. Lam's analysis... What can't count to six.
What: What did you say?!?
Daniel: I said you can't cout to six!
What: DIE!
Daniel: What?
What: *punctures coratid artery with a watermelon*
Daniel: Ahh!!!
Carter: Oh my God! What killed Daniel!
O'Neill: What?

LMAO! ... Wait, what? :lol:

Daniel: Okay... Welcome to "Frequently Killed Off and Brought Back Anonymous". I'm glad you all could make the meeting. Why don't we go around the room and introduce ourselves?
Kenny: Mmph... Mmmph hhm mmm mmph mm hmm!
All: ... Huh?
Kenny: (opens hood) God! My name is Kenny, and I die a lot! Jesus Christ!
All: Oh! Hi Kenny...
Tasha Yar: Hello, my name is Tasha. I died once, but then was brought back at random intervals, either thinking I was my daughter or from a parallel timeline.
All: Hi Tash-
(A meteor randomly crashes into the community center room the meeting's being held at, and everyone dies)
Stan Marsh: Oh my God, they killed Kenny!
Jack: And Daniel! And Tasha Yar! And... A whole bunch of other people I don't recall...
Sam and Kyle: YOU B*ST*RDS!

susanne
August 7th, 2006, 07:36 AM
:cameron: : hey guys can we see howie the koala again?!
:vala: : i like howie
:sam: : yay another trip to the zoo!
:tealc: : indeed
:daniel: : nooo!
:cameron: : come on dan he wont bite this time
:daniel: : no no no no!
:cameron: : but i wanna see howie! *begins crying*
:sam: : you made cam cry! *shoots daniel*
:daniel: : and i dont regret a thing!
:sam: *shoots him again*
:daniel: : ha ha im wearing a sheild
:cameron: : you b*s*erd you cant even die right!

IrishPisano
August 7th, 2006, 10:12 AM
while i think of a funny post for here... does anyone know how many times daniel has actually died? including the time in the film after which Ra put him into the sarcaphogus?

IrishPisano
August 7th, 2006, 10:27 AM
:vala: Daniel's dead.
:tealc: :sam: :cameron: WHAT?!
:vala: Yes. Daniel's dead and I killed him.
:tealc: :sam: :cameron: <<blank stares>>
:vala: We were having sex, finally, and I was showing him a new Goa'uld love-making ritual... But what I didn't realize is that his body can only stretch so far before splitting in half.
:tealc: Ah yes, the Qim-ko-chi... how very... daring of you
:cameron: you b*****d
:sam: got any moves that might work on Sir? I mean Gen O'Neill?

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 7th, 2006, 12:34 PM
:vala: Daniel's dead.
:tealc: :sam: :cameron: WHAT?!
:vala: Yes. Daniel's dead and I killed him.
:tealc: :sam: :cameron: <<blank stares>>
:vala: We were having sex, finally, and I was showing him a new Goa'uld love-making ritual... But what I didn't realize is that his body can only stretch so far before splitting in half.
:tealc: Ah yes, the Qim-ko-chi... how very... daring of you
:cameron: you b*****d
:sam: got any moves that might work on Sir? I mean Gen O'Neill?

LMAO Make another one like this, and I'll give you more green!

Elles
August 7th, 2006, 01:07 PM
LMAO! ... Wait, what? :lol:

Daniel: Okay... Welcome to "Frequently Killed Off and Brought Back Anonymous". I'm glad you all could make the meeting. Why don't we go around the room and introduce ourselves?
Kenny: Mmph... Mmmph hhm mmm mmph mm hmm!
All: ... Huh?
Kenny: (opens hood) God! My name is Kenny, and I die a lot! Jesus Christ!
All: Oh! Hi Kenny...
Tasha Yar: Hello, my name is Tasha. I died once, but then was brought back at random intervals, either thinking I was my daughter or from a parallel timeline.
All: Hi Tash-
(A meteor randomly crashes into the community center room the meeting's being held at, and everyone dies)
Stan Marsh: Oh my God, they killed Kenny!
Jack: And Daniel! And Tasha Yar! And... A whole bunch of other people I don't recall...
Sam and Kyle: YOU B*ST*RDS!
*chuckle*
Daniel: Ok... let's start from where we left off last time...
Sheppard: Hi... my name is John...
All: Hi John!
Sheppard: Well I've never died but I make Weir think I'm dead quite frequently...
All: That doesn't count! Get out of here you freakin' Kirker!
Sheppard: Hey! That's prejudice! And don't call me that! *massacres everyone*

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 7th, 2006, 01:17 PM
*chuckle*
Daniel: Ok... let's start from where we left off last time...
Sheppard: Hi... my name is John...
All: Hi John!
Sheppard: Well I've never died but I make Weir think I'm dead quite frequently...
All: That doesn't count! Get out of here you freakin' Kirker!
Sheppard: Hey! That's prejudice! And don't call me that! *massacres everyone*

Jack: Oh my god, John Sheppard killed Daniel! And those other guys...
Sam: You b*st*rd! Consider the date tonight off!
John: But Saaaaaammmm! (puppy dog face) Please? Please? I didn't mean to, and besides, they'll all be back in five... four... three... two...

(Daniel and the other come back to life... Daniel, as is typical, came back naked.)
Tasha and every other woman in a five mile radius: MINE!
Daniel: AAAUUUGGGGHHHH! (runs in terror as women pursue him)
Kenny: Damnit, why does he get all the women?!

IrishPisano
August 7th, 2006, 01:19 PM
daniel <<appears in Vala's room after descending>> why did you kill me?
vala: for exactly this reason
daniel: and what reason is that?
vala: look in the mirror
daniel: <<sees naked reflection>> ah... well then, where were we?
daniel+vala renew what they were doing prior to goa'uld death split
daniel: <<gets up and leaves and runs... naked... to general landry's office>>sir, i just learned something very important while i was ascended.
landry: Hopefully it was the nearest clothing store
daniel: no, more important than that
Landry: right now, nothing could be more important than that for you
daniel: <<realizes he's naked in the general's office... and left in the middle of sex with vala>> uhm, about this, sir... could we act like it never happened?
Landry: doubtful, but tell you what, how bout you let me try.
daniel: sure
Landry:<<pulls out sidearm and shoots daniel in the head>> Nope, still remember seeing you naked, sorry Jackson. Maybe next time.
Vala: Did you kill Daniel?
Landry: Yup and I had good cause.
Vala: Ok. ******d.

Elles
August 7th, 2006, 01:25 PM
Sheppard: Daniel?
Daniel: Oh, hi colonel! What brings you here?
Sheppard: My agent just told me that you are the only other man in this galaxy who gets more women than me.
Daniel: So? What are you going to do about it?
Sheppard: Well, I thought I might crack this watermelon over your head. *kills Daniel with watermelon*
Sam: Oh my God! Sheppard killed Daniel!
Me: You Kirker!
Sheppard: I said stop calling me that!

IrishPisano
August 7th, 2006, 01:30 PM
75 years from now:

Daniel dies of old age.

Jesus to God: Oh my you. You killed Daniel.
God: Watch it with what you say next. Your mother and I may not be married per se... but Earth's looking like they may need another savior again...
Jesus: <<mumbles incongruantly>>
God: I heard that.

OutThere
August 7th, 2006, 01:33 PM
:vala: : Are you two still at it?
:cameron: : Yep.
:sam: : Yep.
:tealc: : Were we not going out to share in a meal?
:sam: : This will be the tie-breaker.
:cameron: : Just a few more minutes....
:vala: : If you keep shooting Daniel every time he comes back we'll never get out of here! And I don't have any money to pay for lunch!
:tealc: :Then let us leave these two to their game, Vala. I know a good establishment where I can treat you to seared animal flesh and fermented fruit drink.
:vala: : Allright then! Let's go.
:sam: : Hey- what--?
:daniel: (getting to his feet): So, what'd I miss?--
**BLAM!**
:cameron: : Woohoo! I killed Daniel!
:sam: : You b*st*rd!

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 7th, 2006, 01:48 PM
Daniel: (stumbling into the comissionary) ... Coffeeee...
Sam: (follows) Need... Caffeine...
(Alas, Ba'al is standing in the commissionary, his clones manning the kitchen)
Daniel and Sam: What the...?
Ba'al: Hahahahahahaaa! Bow before me, pitiful Tau'ri! Without your precious coffee, you are helpless! (holds up a bag of decaff) All you have is this! And there is nothing you can do to stop me! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Daniel and Sam: ... (calmly walk out the door)
Ba'al: Eh?
Daniel and Sam: (walk back in... Armed to the teeth. They open fire and slaughter the Ba'als)
Ba'als: AAAUUUUUUGHHH! NOOOO!
Daniel: Nobody... Messes... With... Our... Coffee!
Sam: B*tches!
(They stop firing... Only to see that in their rage, they destroyed the coffee machine)
Sam: Oh my God, Daniel! We killed Mr. Coffee!
Daniel: We killed Mr Coffee?
Sam: Yes! (sobs) We did!
Daniel: (sniffle) We're such b*stards...

IrishPisano
August 7th, 2006, 01:48 PM
:vala: : Are you two still at it?
:cameron: : Yep.
:sam: : Yep.
:tealc: : Were we not going out to share in a meal?
:sam: : This will be the tie-breaker.
:cameron: : Just a few more minutes....
VALA: If you keep shooting Daniel every time he comes back we'll never get out of here! And I don't have any money to pay for lunch!
TEALC :Then let us leave these two to their game, Vala. I know a good establishment where I can treat you to seared animal flesh and fermented fruit drink.
VALA : Allright then! Let's go.
SAM : Hey- what--?
DANIEL (getting to his feet): So, what'd I miss?--
**BLAM!**
MITCHELL : Woohoo! I killed Daniel!
SAM: You b*st*rd!


:daniel: <<descends>>wait wait wait wait wait
:sam: :cameron: what?
:daniel: i can't keep ascending and descendind... oma's gettin pissed off
:sam: :cameron: so?
:daniel: plus i feel kind of... bothered... that you two are using me for a game...
:sam: :cameron: we're sorry <<both look genuinely upset>>
:daniel: oh what the hell... 321 go!
:cameron: <<bludgeon's daniel repeatedly with a chair>>
:sam: that was harsh...
:cameron: no one toys with my emotions when it comes to killing...
:sam: you ba***rd

susanne
August 7th, 2006, 01:51 PM
:daniel: : goodnight everyone
:cameron: : *s******ing* night dan
:sam: : *giggling* goodnight
*daniel walks off*
:vala: : what were you s******ing at?!
:cameron: :we let howiein and i put a load of corn in dans bed
:daniel: *screaming*
:sam: hahahaha
:cameron: hehehehe
:vala: : ill just go check on him
:tealc: : indeed
:vala: *comes screaming round the hallway* HOWIE KILLED DANIEL AGAIN!
:tealc: : that b*serd!
*everyone looks at teal'c*
:tealc: : well no one else was gonna say it
:sam: : well another day another kill daniel prank

Elles
August 7th, 2006, 02:09 PM
SG-1: It's Lunch time! RUN!
*SG-1 tramples Daniel*
Sam: Oh my God, Sir! We killed Daniel!
Cameron: No! Leave him... they're serving roast beef today!

susanne
August 7th, 2006, 02:15 PM
lol i loved that!!!!! greenies for you!

Elles
August 7th, 2006, 02:27 PM
I actually did once fall down the stairs at school due to the lunch time rush. :D They were serving Straw Hats that day so no one stopped to help. Hurt like heck...

susanne
August 7th, 2006, 02:46 PM
:tealc: : daniel jackson what are you doing?!
:daniel: :im gonna prove once and for all that i can die and wont come back ok guys do it
:cameron: :jack: :sam: :vala: :hammond: *shoots daniel*
:sam: : oh my god we killed daniel.....
:cameron: : us b*s*ards
*silently waits*
:cameron: : well he proved us wrong
:daniel: *descends* told you
:cameron: *shoots him again*
:vala: : oh my god cam killed daniel AGAIN!
:sam: you b*s*ard.....uh why?!
:cameron: : because he's a smug little
:daniel: : back
:cameron: : *shoots him again*
:vala: : ok this is rediculous
:daniel: your telling me
:cameron: die you b*s*ard *shoots him again

Commander Jumper
August 7th, 2006, 02:53 PM
Janet: i've got good news and bad news
:sam:: what's the bad news?
Janet: Daniel is dead.
:jack: :tealc: :sam:: so?
Janet: good point.
:jack:: good news?
Janet:Well, Daniel will never die as long as the series is going on......

Lilith
August 7th, 2006, 03:07 PM
Janet: i've got good news and bad news
:sam:: what's the bad news?
Janet: Daniel is dead.
:jack: :tealc: :sam:: so?
Janet: good point.
:jack:: good news?
Janet:Well, Daniel will never die as long as the series is going on......
:daniel:: hey guys! what are we talking about?
:sam:: You're soo annoying!! *stabs Daniel with a scapel*
Janet: Oh my God!! You killed Daniel.
:jack::teal'c::sam:: yea...?
Janet: Oh nevermind!

Commander Jumper
August 7th, 2006, 03:12 PM
:daniel:: hey guys! what are we talking about?
:sam:: You're soo annoying!! *stabs Daniel with a scapel*
Janet: Oh my God!! You killed Daniel.
:jack::teal'c::sam:: yea...?
Janet: Oh nevermind!
:lol:

:daniel:: wow you know what this means *pulling scalpel out of chest* I can do anything.

:daniel: *jumps from plain w/o parachute. Dies*

:jack:: Oh my God that plane killed Daniel

:daniel: *rises from dead* *Jumps in front of truck*

:sam:: oh my God.... that truck killed Daniel

:daniel: *jumps of building*

:cameron:: oh my God that building killed Daniel

:daniel: *plays with a lion* *Dies*

:tealc: : oh my God that....oh Screw it

:sam:: is it me Sir, or is Daniel enjoying this alittle too much
:jack:: I noticed that.
:sam:: should we stop him *looks at Daniel who's rubbing chum all over his body and about to jump in shark tank*
:jack:: in a minute.....

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 7th, 2006, 04:41 PM
Jack: Okay Daniel... This has gone far enough.
Daniel: What do you mean?
Teal'c: We believe you have a problem, Daniel Jackson.
Daniel: What? A problem? I don't have a problem!
Sam: Daniel, you've killed yourself and come back over five hundred times now...
Daniel: ... Yeah?
Vala: In the last five days.
Daniel: What? Hey! C'mon guys, I can stop killing myself and coming back any time I want! I just don't want to, that's all.
Jack: Daniel... Am I going to have to hug you to keep you from doing this?
Daniel: No Jack! God! Look, just because I can come back from the dead, without problems like being a zombie or something, doesn't mean I enjoy it!
Vala: Daniel? You had sex with me and Sam until you died of dehydration.
Daniel: ... Didn't you enjoy that?
Sam: HELL YES! But you shouldn't do that to yourself... Or us. We're not necrophilliacs, Daniel.
Vala: Yeah! I don't sleep with dead bodies... Unless I'm hiding out from other graverobbers...
Jack: Okay, that I could have gone without knowing... Along with the sex with Carter and Vala at the same time part.
Daniel: Er, sorry Jack... You two are still in the military...
Jack: Damnit... (shoots Daniel twice with a zat)
Daniel: (dies)
Sam: Oh my god, he killed Daniel!
Vala: You b*st*rd!
Cameron: You're just encouraging him, sir!
Jack: Look, we'll hold another intervention when I'm feeling less inclined to kill him myself, okay?

Lilith
August 7th, 2006, 04:43 PM
:lol:

:daniel:: wow you know what this means *pulling scalpel out of chest* I can do anything.

:daniel: *jumps from plain w/o parachute. Dies*

:jack:: Oh my God that plane killed Daniel

:daniel: *rises from dead* *Jumps in front of truck*

:sam:: oh my God.... that truck killed Daniel

:daniel: *jumps of building*

:cameron:: oh my God that building killed Daniel

:daniel: *plays with a lion* *Dies*

:tealc: : oh my God that....oh Screw it

:sam:: is it me Sir, or is Daniel enjoying this alittle too much
:jack:: I noticed that.
:sam:: should we stop him *looks at Daniel who's rubbing chum all over his body and about to jump in shark tank*
:jack:: in a minute.....roflmaato!! i think we're enjoying this waay to much commander....

:sheppard: : Where'd all the Wraith go?
:mckay: : The SGC found a permanent food source for them and now they no longer need to cull us or find earth.
:teyla: : What could possibly satisfy soo many Wraith?
:mckay: : Daniel clones.
:ronan: : And how exactly does that work?
:mckay: : Every Wraith gets his own Daniel. Since everytime Daniel dies, he just ascends then descends, thye can eat him over and over again until the universe implodes, explodes, or they become extinct.... whichever happens first....

Commander Jumper
August 7th, 2006, 04:49 PM
roflmaato!! i think we're enjoying this waay to much commander....

:sheppard: : Where'd all the Wraith go?
:mckay: : The SGC found a permanent food source for them and now they no longer need to cull us or find earth.
:teyla: : What could possibly satisfy soo many Wraith?
:mckay: : Daniel clones.
:ronan: : And how exactly does that work?
:mckay: : Every Wraith gets his own Daniel. Since everytime Daniel dies, he just ascends then descends, thye can eat him over and over again until the universe implodes, explodes, or they become extinct.... whichever happens first....
I think so too....but it's addictive :D

:cameron:: ohhh Daniel....I got a hamster...his name is Howie
:daniel:: *dies of fear*
:sam:: oh my god!!! Daniel chikenness killed him
:jack:: his B****** emotional state

susanne
August 7th, 2006, 04:58 PM
hahahaha i love that!
daniel: do do do do * walking around naked*
mitchell: daniel?! i didnt figure you for the nudist type...
daniel: well dr frasier says it helps to bring blood pressure down
sam: OMG! *shoots daniel*
vala: omg! she killed daniel! you b*tch
mitchell: uhhh why?!
sam: cos that soab is gonna give me nightmares for weeks!
vala: me too hun me too...

Commander Jumper
August 7th, 2006, 05:00 PM
hahahaha i love that!
daniel: do do do do * walking around naked*
mitchell: daniel?! i didnt figure you for the nudist type...
daniel: well dr frasier says it helps to bring blood pressure down
sam: OMG! *shoots daniel*
vala: omg! she killed daniel! you b*tch
mitchell: uhhh why?!
sam: cos that soab is gonna give me nightmares for weeks!
vala: me too hun me too...
:mckay: :ronan: & me:not us!!!

Lilith
August 7th, 2006, 05:36 PM
:mckay: :ronan: & me:not us!!!
Ayan, Pheonix, and Punk-D: ditto
Teito, Akira, Katz, and Tiffe: We could really care less but since we are a part of her *shrugs*
Sage: *shudders* I'm a guy and i'm not gay... I would be exetremely happy if I didn't see that again...

huh... seems my voices are split on opinions....

Commander Jumper
August 7th, 2006, 05:50 PM
Ayan, Pheonix, and Punk-D: ditto
Teito, Akira, Katz, and Tiffe: We could really care less but since we are a part of her *shrugs*
Sage: *shudders* I'm a guy and i'm not gay... I would be exetremely happy if I didn't see that again...

huh... seems my voices are split on opinions....
all my voices agree....seeing Daniel Naked wouldn't be so bad....:D.....uhh.....same with John......but Elles beat me in the pants burning contest.....and then blamed me.....I'm insulted.....I would have gone all the way and burned all his clothes....*drooooool* *Daydreams* back to reality

susanne
August 7th, 2006, 05:55 PM
i saw joe flanigan in just his boxers *drooling incoherently* that was a moment i will love forever......

Lilith
August 7th, 2006, 05:56 PM
all my voices agree....seeing Daniel Naked wouldn't be so bad....:D.....uhh.....same with John......but Elles beat me in the pants burning contest.....and then blamed me.....I'm insulted.....I would have gone all the way and burned all his clothes....*drooooool* *Daydreams* back to realityhehe... yea well, Teito and Akira are actually the fursonas of my friend Kayla, Katz is the fursona of my other friend Katie, and Tiffe is the fursona of Tiffe.... Sage is our favourite guy friend.... Ayan and Pheonix are my fursonas, and Punk-D is me.... so really my three personalities don't mind Nekkid Daniel, all my girl-friends are indifferent, and my one guy friend is totally freaked.... tis weird how i started hallucinating my best friends when they aren't around me.... just another facet of my schizophrenia i guess....

*:daniel: drops dead from boredom from OT chatter*
OMG! We killed Daniel!! We're b****es... well that nothing new for me :D

Commander Jumper
August 7th, 2006, 06:03 PM
hehe... yea well, Teito and Akira are actually the fursonas of my friend Kayla, Katz is the fursona of my other friend Katie, and Tiffe is the fursona of Tiffe.... Sage is our favourite guy friend.... Ayan and Pheonix are my fursonas, and Punk-D is me.... so really my three personalities don't mind Nekkid Daniel, all my girl-friends are indifferent, and my one guy friend is totally freaked.... tis weird how i started hallucinating my best friends when they aren't around me.... just another facet of my schizophrenia i guess....

*:daniel: drops dead from boredom from OT chatter*
OMG! We killed Daniel!! We're b****es... well that nothing new for me :D
hahahah :D I imagine my friends are here sometimes......but they never come around anymore.....thay have this crazy thing called a real life......I thought I heard a wraith in my room....seriously....it was freaky.....

:daniel::*rubs himslef in hot oil* OW
:sam:: should we stop him now Sir?
:jack:: in a minute Carter...he's oiling his chest
:sam:: ok
Me: *Drooool*

Lilith
August 7th, 2006, 06:10 PM
hahahah :D I imagine my friends are here sometimes......but they never come around anymore.....thay have this crazy thing called a real life......I thought I heard a wraith in my room....seriously....it was freaky.....
yea, but i see them every single day... well cept sage moved away last year... and tiffe moved during summer break... but it's funny b/c i can hold an entire conversation with all of them at once and they not utter a single word.... i already know what they're gonna say... i hallucinate them even if they are really there in front of me....


:daniel::*rubs himslef in hot oil* OW
:sam:: should we stop him now Sir?
:jack:: in a minute Carter...he's oiling his chest
:sam:: ok
Me: *Drooool*
Forget teh Oil!! Skinny Dip!! Or better yet, it needs to start raining!!

Commander Jumper
August 7th, 2006, 06:13 PM
yea, but i see them every single day... well cept sage moved away last year... and tiffe moved during summer break... but it's funny b/c i can hold an entire conversation with all of them at once and they not utter a single word.... i already know what they're gonna say... i hallucinate them even if they are really there in front of me....


Forget teh Oil!! Skinny Dip!! Or better yet, it needs to start raining!!
Oh Drool.....:D

My buddies have friends that are capable of not talking about stargate...plus I'm the only one with out a job :p

Lilith
August 7th, 2006, 06:35 PM
boy, we're off topic :P

*:daniel: feels neglicted and kills self*

Commander Jumper
August 7th, 2006, 06:36 PM
boy, we're off topic :P

*:daniel: feels neglicted and kills self*
:sam:: oh my god!!! Daniel killed himself
:jack:: yeah Ayan and PJ1 thanks alot you *******

Lilith
August 7th, 2006, 07:01 PM
Me: Uh, for the record Jack, I'm a B***h not a B*****d
:daniel: : I'm back!!
:sam: : Oh go suck a lemon!
:daniel: : Fine! No one loves me!! This time, I'm not coming back!! *kills self*
:jack: : Way to go Carter!
:sam: : I'm sorry!!

Elles
August 7th, 2006, 07:08 PM
all my voices agree....seeing Daniel Naked wouldn't be so bad....:D.....uhh.....same with John......but Elles beat me in the pants burning contest.....and then blamed me.....I'm insulted.....I would have gone all the way and burned all his clothes....*drooooool* *Daydreams* back to reality
Me: Hey! Don't talk about me when I'm not on! *throws knife which misses and lodges itself in Daniel*
Sam: Oh my God! Elles killed Daniel!
O'Neill: You b*st*rd!
Daniel: *comes back* You realize you're writing that about yourself...
Me: Well... yeah... but still.

Commander Jumper
August 7th, 2006, 07:25 PM
Me: Hey! Don't talk about me when I'm not on! *throws knife which misses and lodges itself in Daniel*
Sam: Oh my God! Elles killed Daniel!
O'Neill: You b*st*rd!
Daniel: *comes back* You realize you're writing that about yourself...
Me: Well... yeah... but still.
I have moments like that all the time

:daniel:: I love PJ1
:mckay: : no I love her ******* *shoots Daniel*
Me: Boys boys boys....there is plenty of me to go around :D
:sheppard:: yippee my dream come true

----meanwhile in real world-----
:daniel:: only in her dreams
:sheppard: :mckay:: don't make fun of my love *both shoot Daniel*

Elles
August 7th, 2006, 07:39 PM
I have moments like that all the time

:daniel:: I love PJ1
:mckay: : no I love her ******* *shoots Daniel*
Me: Boys boys boys....there is plenty of me to go around :D
:sheppard:: yippee my dream come true

----meanwhile in real world-----
:daniel:: only in her dreams
:sheppard: :mckay:: don't make fun of my love *both shoot Daniel*
*chuckle*
Me: Oh my God! Sheppard and McKay killed Daniel!
Sheppard: No, I shot him first!
McKay: No! I shot him first!
Sheppard: Well my bullet punctured and artery.
McKay: Well mine went strait to the heart.
Daniel: Actually, I'm not-
Me: *shoots Daniel* No! I killed him! You happy?

Commander Jumper
August 7th, 2006, 07:47 PM
*chuckle*
Me: Oh my God! Sheppard and McKay killed Daniel!
Sheppard: No, I shot him first!
McKay: No! I shot him first!
Sheppard: Well my bullet punctured and artery.
McKay: Well mine went strait to the heart.
Daniel: Actually, I'm not-
Me: *shoots Daniel* No! I killed him! You happy?
Me: uhhhhh thank Elles....but I was hoping they'd kill each other over who loved me more.....:( oh well
:daniel:: I love you PJ1
:sheppard: :mckay:: keep your hands off her she's mine
:sheppard:: no she's mine
:mckay:: no mine
:daniel:: no mine
:sheppard: :mckay:: shut up you *shoots Daniel*
Me: oh my God...you killed Daniel
Elles: you *******

Col. Shadow Quinn
August 8th, 2006, 12:55 AM
:daniel: Yum, Ra's hygenic feces, I'll eat them.
SG1: Oh no you don't live *they shoot Daniel and he lives*
:sam: Poison him *cobra bites him, he still lives.*
:jack: African killer bees * launched Daniel into African killer bee territory, stills lives after being covered and stung by thousands of killer bees*
:tealc: zat him *zats him 80 times, nothing happens*
:cameron: How about burning him alive? * sets Jackson on fire, nothing happens*
:hammond: skin him alive * Daniel gets skinned nothing happens*
:jonas: snapping his neck* snaps Daniel's neck, still alive.
:vala: outright everything you just did at the same time *they do that and he finally dies*

If he's going to be killed by you people, think horrible, painful, gorey, and outright disgusting ways to kill him.

Elles
August 8th, 2006, 01:15 AM
:daniel: Yum, Ra's hygenic feces, I'll eat them.
SG1: Oh no you don't live *they shoot Daniel and he lives*
:sam: Poison him *cobra bites him, he still lives.*
:jack: African killer bees * launched Daniel into African killer bee territory, stills lives after being covered and stung by thousands of killer bees*
:tealc: zat him *zats him 80 times, nothing happens*
:cameron: How about burning him alive? * sets Jackson on fire, nothing happens*
:hammond: skin him alive * Daniel gets skinned nothing happens*
:jonas: snapping his neck* snaps Daniel's neck, still alive.
:vala: outright everything you just did at the same time *they do that and he finally dies*

If he's going to be killed by you people, think horrible, painful, gorey, and outright disgusting ways to kill him.
But he's so beautiful...

Col. Shadow Quinn
August 8th, 2006, 01:18 AM
THis is a thread dedicated to killing Daniel after all.

Commander Jumper
August 8th, 2006, 01:19 AM
agreed....let's kill him by dippping him ni honey and dropping him in the thunk thread:D
:sam:: oh my god the thunkers killed Daniel

Elles
August 8th, 2006, 01:21 AM
*Daniel descends*
Daniel: Hey guys... and *looks down*... oh no...
*stampede of fan girls tramples Daniel*
Sam: Oh my God! The fan girls killed Daniel!
O'Neill: You b*st*rds!

Commander Jumper
August 8th, 2006, 01:21 AM
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo I've killed Daniel

Elles
August 8th, 2006, 01:26 AM
Bet you know how it feels to be Aniken now, eh?

Commander Jumper
August 8th, 2006, 01:28 AM
yeah...ot Luke....I yelled like him...in my head.......

IrishPisano
August 8th, 2006, 06:20 AM
Jack: Are you two STILL trying to one-up each other with killing Daniel?
Cameron and Sam: Yes, sir.
Jack: Well stop.
Sam: Why, sir? It's so much fun.
*Daniel descends*
*Teal'c triple zats him*
Teal'c: Indeed it is, General O'Neill. Perhaps you should reconsider.
Jack: Fine, but you two gotta put it on hold until Teal'C and I catch up.
Sam: B******s

OutThere
August 8th, 2006, 08:09 AM
Jack: Are you two STILL trying to one-up each other with killing Daniel?
Cameron and Sam: Yes, sir.
Jack: Well stop.
Sam: Why, sir? It's so much fun.
*Daniel descends*
*Teal'c triple zats him*
Teal'c: Indeed it is, General O'Neill. Perhaps you should reconsider.
Jack: Fine, but you two gotta put it on hold until Teal'C and I catch up.
Sam: B******s

Jack: Ammo?
Sam and Cameron: Check!
Jack: Staff weapon?
Teal'c: Indeed.
Jack: Okay, looks like we're good to go. Let's find Daniel---
*Suddenly gunfire is heard from another room*
Daniel: Argh--
*Jack, Sam, Cam, and Teal'c race to the scene of the commotion. Vala is standing over Daniel, holding a gun*
Cameron: Tell me she didn't--
Vala: HA! I just killed Daniel.
Sam: You b--!
Jack: All that prep for nothing! Okay, who's up for a movie?
*Jack, Sam, Cam, and Teal'c all file out, grumbling*
Daniel: Psst, are they gone?
Vala: Yes. It looks like we tricked them. Now can we go get dinner?
*Daniel gets off the floor, patting his pockets*
Daniel: Right. But, uh, I seem to have lost my wallet in all the commotion. I know I said I'd pay, but it looks like you're going to have to. C'mon, let's go!
Vala: ... You b*****d....

IrishPisano
August 8th, 2006, 10:26 AM
:daniel: hahaha HA
:jack: :tealc: :sam: :vala: :cameron: what?!
:daniel: i figured out how to half-descend, like Anubis
:vala: so?
:daniel: and i'm the only one who knows where merlin's weapon is, so you can't kill me anymore
:jack: :sam: :cameron: DAMMIT
:tealc: <<opens rapid fire with Jaffa staff weapon>>
:daniel: dude, stop tickling me...
:tealc: indeed he is telling the truth
:cameron: yuhhuh... <<takes out sidearm and unloads clip into daniel>>
:daniel: nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh
:anubis: BOOM MUTHA TRUCKA... you dead... <<kills daniel>>
:jack: uhm.. thanks?
:anubis: sure thing... now who's got my ba'als?

Amann
August 8th, 2006, 10:38 AM
*daniel tiptoes along corridor*
Me: No chance *shoots daniel in head with sniper rifle* BOOM! HEAD SHOT!
:sam: U *******!

Elles
August 8th, 2006, 11:30 AM
Daniel: Oh no...
Sam: What?
Daniel: I taped over The Simpsons..
Teal'c: From my experience knowing Colonel O'Neill, Colonel O'Neill will not be happy.
Sam: Exactly... come on Teal'c... we might not want to be here when it happens...
Daniel: Don't leave me here!
*sound of chainsaw*
*five minutes later*
O'Neill: Oh my God... I killed Daniel!
Hammond: Why?
O'Neill: He taped over The Simpsons...
Hammond: That b*st*rd...

IrishPisano
August 8th, 2006, 12:05 PM
Daniel sits in the game chair that had trapped Teal'C.
Game: Welcome to Unreal Game of the Year Addition, Daniel Jackson. You have no weapons and are surrounded by the enemy. Good luck.
Daniel: @#$%, dies
Game: Headshot... Godlike
Kid who just found a weapon and took aim at daniel: B4574r*5

IrishPisano
August 8th, 2006, 12:10 PM
Daniel's still stuck in Unreal, repeatedly dying and descending
Game: Headshot Headshot killing spree rampage unstoppable
Daniel: <hides... gets shot>
Game: Godlike!
Jack: i'm one awesome ba***rd

Elles
August 8th, 2006, 12:13 PM
Game: Crap... out of ammo...
Jack: So? Daniel can't kill all of the enemies... can he?
Game: No...
Daniel: Until I use a cheat.
Jack: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Daniel: Ha! I win.
Jack: You screwed up the programming... *breaks Daniel's neck*
Sam: Oh my God! You ki-
Jack: Carter, that's getting old...
Sam: Fine... *stalks off*

IrishPisano
August 8th, 2006, 12:17 PM
Jack: I swear, the next person to say it dies.
Daniel <descends>: What'd i miss?
Teal'C: General O'Neill was discussing the fact that the entire base tends to repeat the same sentence over and over and the conseq...
Daniel <interrupts>: What, "oh my god you killed daniel?"
Jack: <opens stargate and throws daniel into the kwoosh>
Teal'C: Indeed, Daniel Jackson. Indeed.

Mickey23
August 8th, 2006, 12:57 PM
OK, so I'm getting caught up on all these. GREAT STUFF!! But some of the earlier ones especially, I gotta know:

WTF is with the ducks?

:) :daniel: :)

susanne
August 8th, 2006, 01:04 PM
dunno its just funny lol
:daniel: : guys im sick of dieing so i've wrote a will sam gets all my stuff....
:sam: : yay!
:daniel: : vala gets all the gold and junk....
:vala: : whoopee!
:daniel: : teal'c gets my teddy my snookums
:tealc: : yay indeed
:daniel: : and cameron gets all my baseball stuff....
:cameron: : *shoots daniel dead*
:sam: : omg! cam killed daniel!
:vala: : you b*s*erd!
:tealc: : mitchell i must ask .....why?!
:cameron: : he has some good baseball stuff!

IrishPisano
August 8th, 2006, 01:08 PM
dunno its just funny lol
:daniel: : guys im sick of dieing so i've wrote a will sam gets all my stuff....
:sam: : yay!
:daniel: : vala gets all the gold and junk....
:vala: : whoopee!
:daniel: : teal'c gets my teddy my snookums
:tealc: : yay indeed
:daniel: : and cameron gets all my baseball stuff....
:cameron: : *shoots daniel dead*
:sam: : omg! cam killed daniel!
:vala: : you b*s*erd!
:tealc: : mitchell i must ask .....why?!
:cameron: : he has some good baseball stuff!

NICE... rep for you

Louis_Vuitton
August 8th, 2006, 01:12 PM
dunno its just funny lol
:daniel: : guys im sick of dieing so i've wrote a will sam gets all my stuff....
:sam: : yay!
:daniel: : vala gets all the gold and junk....
:vala: : whoopee!
:daniel: : teal'c gets my teddy my snookums
:tealc: : yay indeed
:daniel: : and cameron gets all my baseball stuff....
:cameron: : *shoots daniel dead*
:sam: : omg! cam killed daniel!
:vala: : you b*s*erd!
:tealc: : mitchell i must ask .....why?!
:cameron: : he has some good baseball stuff!

lmao good one Sus
Im just startign to read all of this lol

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 8th, 2006, 01:57 PM
Daniel: Okay... I just have to ask... Why do people love killing me so much?
Vala: That's easy, Daniel. You're naked when you come back from the dead. (drools)
Sam: Yeah... That's yummy... (drools)
Daniel: Yeah, but at this rate I'm going to die without getting any!
Vala: Well then, we can solve that easily.
Sam: Yes! Just die after having sex with us, non-stop, for several hours.
Daniel: ... My God, that's brilliant.
Ishka: Hey! Does this mean that anyone can have sex with Dnaiel Jackson until he dies?
Sam: Well, it keeps him from dying in unpleasant ways, right?
(Half the women in the galaxy come through the Stargate, grinning)
Daniel: Holy... (smiles)
Jack, Teal'c, Cam, John, McKay, Ronan, Ford, Hammond, Walter, and Landry: That lucky b*st*rd!

Lilith
August 8th, 2006, 02:05 PM
Daniel: Okay... I just have to ask... Why do people love killing me so much?
Vala: That's easy, Daniel. You're naked when you come back from the dead. (drools)
Sam: Yeah... That's yummy... (drools)
Daniel: Yeah, but at this rate I'm going to die without getting any!
Vala: Well then, we can solve that easily.
Sam: Yes! Just die after having sex with us, non-stop, for several hours.
Daniel: ... My God, that's brilliant.
Ishka: Hey! Does this mean that anyone can have sex with Dnaiel Jackson until he dies?
Sam: Well, it keeps him from dying in unpleasant ways, right?
(Half the women in the galaxy come through the Stargate, grinning)
Daniel: Holy... (smiles)
Jack, Teal'c, Cam, John, McKay, Ronan, Ford, Hammond, Walter, and Landry: That lucky b*st*rd!omg!! that's brilliant! a kirking daniel!! *steps into place at the end of a very, very, very, long line*

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 8th, 2006, 03:06 PM
omg!! that's brilliant! a kirking daniel!! *steps into place at the end of a very, very, very, long line*

... Why do I get a feeling of impending doom?

Lilith
August 8th, 2006, 03:50 PM
... Why do I get a feeling of impending doom?Oh, If only sex could power the stargate..... :D:P

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 8th, 2006, 03:53 PM
Oh, If only sex could power the stargate..... :D:P

That... I didn't need to know.

Unorthodox
August 8th, 2006, 05:54 PM
Alrightyyyyyyyyy...that whole sex thing drew me off for a sec. Now I gotta rethink of the idea I had for my old one.

:cameron: Hey guys, want to go see "Pee-Wee's Playhouse?"
:sam: ...What!?
:tealc: I do not believe so.
:cameron: Awe, c'mon! Teal'c, I know you wanna!
:daniel: So guys, what's up?
*Teal'c grabbes Daniel and throws him into Cam, who fall down a flight of stairs and end up dying horribly*
:sam: OMG! You killed Cam...
:tealc: That B****** wanted me to watch Pee-Wee's...
:sam: But you killed my manwhore too.
:tealcanime49: What!?
:sam: Nothing...
:vala09: And I thought he was my manwhore all along...
:samanime15: That b******!

IrishPisano
August 8th, 2006, 08:13 PM
:daniel: i've had enough of this being murdered s**t <<shoots himself>>
:tealc: cowardly b*****d
:daniel: <<pops into Oma's cafe again>>
OMA: stop dying and ascending, i'm sick of it, anubis over there is sick of it, and the rest of the ancients are sick of it... <<kills daniel (ie, descends him)>>
:daniel: double kill... wtf? those bas**rds

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 8th, 2006, 08:27 PM
Daniel: Uh... Guys? This new world looks... Kind of weird.
(SG-1 has just stepped out of the Stargate, in an oddly colored, and textured, world)
Sam: Looks almost like everything's made of cardboard...
Cam: Yeah. Reminds me of this mural I did in third grade...
Teal'c: Someone approaches.
(A charicature of Saddam Hussein approaches. His head flops as he talks)
Saddam: Eh? What the hell are you *******s doing here? This is mah world! I rule it! My ***** said so!
Daniel: Uh, who is this ***** you speak of?
Saddam: Aw, don't worry guy. He's just Satan! Lord of the Underworld! And my total slave!
(Satan emerges from underneath SG-1 in a small volcano. Cam, Sam, and Teal'c manage to escape, but Daniel falls screaming into Hell)
Daniel: NOOOOOOOOOoooooo-! (THUD)
Sam: Oh my God, they killed Daniel! (is turned into a South Park version of herself) What the hell?!
Cam: You b*st*rds! (is also turned into a South Park version of himself) Huh?!
Teal'c: (transformed into a South Park version as well) Indeed. Screw you guys, I'm going home. (heads off for the Stargate)

susanne
August 9th, 2006, 03:27 AM
hahahaha a bit too much south park there i think .............hilarious all the same tho hehehehehe

susanne
August 9th, 2006, 04:58 AM
*daniel fidgits with sams computer then vanishes*
:daniel: : hey where am i?!
random person: mohowla!
:daniel: : OMG! IM TRAPPED IN SAMS SIMS 2 GAME!
random person again: mohowla?!
:daniel: : buzz off your annoying and im trying to get out!
random person: mohowla kill!
:daniel: : argggg! *dies*
:sam: *turns on the sims 2* omg! my sims 2 jack just killed daniel!
:vala: : that b*s*erd!

Amann
August 9th, 2006, 08:23 AM
:daniel: : *ascends in sims game* thats better......
:jack: sim version: *runs "danny boy" over with a truck*
:tealc: OMG, U killed daniel!
:vala: u *******s!
:sheppard: yay, no more competition

IrishPisano
August 9th, 2006, 08:29 AM
:daniel: : *ascends in sims game* thats better......
:jack: sim version: *runs "danny boy" over with a truck*
:tealc: OMG, U killed daniel!
:vala: u *******s!
:sheppard: yay, no more competition
:tealc: <<sends sims game through kwoosh>> ah, that's better... stupid game
:daniel: hey, what'd you do that for? i love that game... you b*s*a*d
:tealc: <<opens a second wormhole and throw daniel's head into the kwoosh and his body through the gate>> better indeed...

Commander Jumper
August 9th, 2006, 08:34 AM
:daniel:: this thread isn't funny
Me: how dare you insult it's creator!!!! *shoots Daniel* Wonda Bread
:jack:: oh my God you killed Daniel
:sam:: *****

samlovinshep
August 9th, 2006, 08:38 AM
i dont know what to say but this thread is cool so ill just read instead

susanne
August 9th, 2006, 08:39 AM
*daniel descends*
:daniel: well it isnt!
me: dont you insult pj1!!! *shoots him*
:jack: : she killed daniel!
:sam: YOU.....
me: say it and i shoot you
:sam: ........

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 9th, 2006, 08:42 AM
Daniel: *******it, that's it! I'm sick of dying and coming back all the time! Oma!
Oma: Yes Daniel?
Daniel: What do I have to do to stop dying like this all the time?
Oma: The hand is quicker than the eye...
Daniel: ... That was utterly useless.
Oma: (sigh) Fine, you big baby. Just remove your Kenny Curse from yourself, and move it to someone else.
Daniel: ... A curse? That's why I die all the time and come back?
Oma: Well, not a magical curse, just a fabric of creation being manipulated curse.
Daniel: Ah... Allright then... (gets an evil idea)

(In the Pegasus Galaxy...)

Sheppard: So in conclusion, Elizabeth, I think that we need to start finding more space gates. (takes a bite of his apple) I mean, Rodney's-URK! (chokes to death, and falls over)
Weir: Oh my God, they killed John!
Rodney: You b*st*rds!

Commander Jumper
August 9th, 2006, 08:47 AM
the Curse has shifted to John....wich mean I can....accendently walk in on him when he descends ;) but alas Daniel is still cursed...he just cursed them both.

:daniel: :sheppard: *shoot eavh other*
:daniel:: this is fun
:sheppard:: yeah *blasts a hole through Daniel with Ronon's blaster*
:sam:: doesn't that hurt?
:daniel:: after a while you get used to it *shoots John in the head*
:jack:: ok......

susanne
August 9th, 2006, 08:51 AM
*johns team walks through the gate into p3x-666*
:sheppard: : ok guys spread out and...
*arrow goes straight through his eye*
:sheppard: : OMG OMG OMG! *running in circles
:ronan: : shoots shep dead*
:ronan: : oops had it on kill
:teyla: : OMG! ronon killed shep!
:mckay: : do i have to say it?! oh alright.....YOU B*S*ERD!

Commander Jumper
August 9th, 2006, 08:58 AM
:sam:: ready Liz?
:weir:: ready!!!
*aim guns*
:sam:: I've been dying to finmd a sport we're both interested in...to spend some girl time together you know
:weir:: yeah...and I love this..I didn't know you were into it
:sam:: who isn't
:daniel: :sheppard:: we don't enjoy it much
:sam:: that's only because you're the targets.
:weir:: now shut up and hold still

IrishPisano
August 9th, 2006, 09:08 AM
Daniel: *******it, that's it! I'm sick of dying and coming back all the time! Oma!
Oma: Yes Daniel?
Daniel: What do I have to do to stop dying like this all the time?
Oma: The hand is quicker than the eye...
Daniel: ... That was utterly useless.
Oma: (sigh) Fine, you big baby. Just remove your Kenny Curse from yourself, and move it to someone else.
Daniel: ... A curse? That's why I die all the time and come back?
Oma: Well, not a magical curse, just a fabric of creation being manipulated curse.
Daniel: Ah... Allright then... (gets an evil idea)

(In the Pegasus Galaxy...)

Sheppard: So in conclusion, Elizabeth, I think that we need to start finding more space gates. (takes a bite of his apple) I mean, Rodney's-URK! (chokes to death, and falls over)
Weir: Oh my God, they killed John!
Rodney: You b*st*rds!
very inventive... sadly i cannot give you rep yet

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 9th, 2006, 09:16 AM
(In the Atlantis main command room)
Weir: (standing over John's casket) (sniffle) We... We are here to say goodbye to Lt. Colonel John Sheppard... A great, noble man, who saved us on several occassions. But he was... More than a hero. He was a friend. (sob) Okay, fine, maybe he Kirked a little, but it's not like any of us staked a claim to him! He didn't have to stick with one of us! (bawling now) WHY DIDN'T I TELL HIM HOW I FELT?!
Most of the Women of Atlantis: (sobbing as well)
Weir: (is lead off, as Rodney comes on)
Rodney: ... John Sheppard was, well, my best friend. I'd never actually had one before...
(the casket begins to shake a little. Nobody notices)
Rodney: We bickered, we argued, but ultimately when the chips were down, we came through, for eachother, and for this city. He was... Is... My brother. The brother I never had, but really, really wished I did have when I was growing up.
(The casket falls over, and John tumbles out. Everyone stares at him as he stands up and brushes himself off)
John: (notices everyone) Uh... Hi.... Why was I in that box?
Rodney: OH MY GOD, THEY DIDN'T KILL JOHN!
Weir: (glomps John) You b*stard! Why didn't you get up earlier?!
John: Urk! Well, uh, for starters, I was dead...
Weir: ... Huh?
John: And then I wasn't dead. Weirdest thing...
(In the Milky Way Galaxy, Daniel smirks)

Commander Jumper
August 9th, 2006, 09:20 AM
Me: John your alive *runs to give him hug* *pulls out gun and shoots himself*
:mckay:: Oh my God she made John kill himself
Mr: uh I'll be running now....chao

Jedi_Master_Bra'tac
August 9th, 2006, 09:35 AM
:jack: Sam I have some good news and some bad news....
:sam: Go on.......
:jack: Well do you know how you said all of Daniel's deaths annoyed you
:sam: Yes...
:jack: Well we cloned him a 1000 times, that way when he dies we'll just have another, and in a month when all his clones are dead we'll just clone 1000 times him again!
:sam: Brilliant! whats the bad news?
:jack: Well we locked them all in a room with the Charlie and the Chocolate factory DVD and well.......
:daniel:(x1000): http://www.cilea.it/music/lezioni/plaineimages/n10.gifUmpa Lumpa tunehttp://www.cilea.it/music/lezioni/plaineimages/n10.gif Danny Danny Danny dee doo, I have a little puzzle for you
*A lod of Umpa Lumpas with MP5s turn up and kill all the Daniels*
:jack_new_anime05::samanime24: OMG, you killed Daniels
One of the Umpa Lumpas: Well thats what they get for breaching international copyright laws, the *********s!

Commander Jumper
August 9th, 2006, 09:37 AM
Me: Oompa Loompas AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhh *hides under bed* get um out get um out get um out!!!!!

jesserella
August 9th, 2006, 10:05 AM
i hate umpa lumpas scary :(

:jack: *shoots daniel*
:danielanime07: you shot me!!
:jack_new15: *looks at his gun* and yet you didn't die, odd ???
:daniel: odd?? yes of course its odd, bullets tend to be fatel
:jack: ok hold still i'll try again * shoots daniel*
:daniel: it kinda tickled that time
:jack_new_anime05: *getting annoyed* somethings wrong with my gun *sobs* its not killing as it usually does!!
:thor: april fools, we replaced all your bullets with jelly, hahahahaha
:daniel: thats a horrible joke,
:thoranime01: how mean *beams daniel into space*
:jack: you killed daniel, now thats a funny april fools joke,
:thoranime01: he was such a *******

Commander Jumper
August 9th, 2006, 10:07 AM
:lol: Jess :D

jesserella
August 9th, 2006, 10:08 AM
hiiiii :D

Commander Jumper
August 9th, 2006, 10:08 AM
Hi :D back :D :p

susanne
August 9th, 2006, 10:10 AM
i hate umpa lumpas scary :(

:jack: *shoots daniel*
:danielanime07: you shot me!!
:jack_new15: *looks at his gun* and yet you didn't die, odd ???
:daniel: odd?? yes of course its odd, bullets tend to be fatel
:jack: ok hold still i'll try again * shoots daniel*
:daniel: it kinda tickled that time
:jack_new_anime05: *getting annoyed* somethings wrong with my gun *sobs* its not killing as it usually does!!
:thor: april fools, we replaced all your bullets with jelly, hahahahaha
:daniel: thats a horrible joke,
:thoranime01: how mean *beams daniel into space*
:jack: you killed daniel, now thats a funny april fools joke,
:thoranime01: he was such a *******
hahahaha i absolutely loved that jess!

jesserella
August 9th, 2006, 10:11 AM
yea i've been a tad busy, need to catch up on killing daniel

me *shoots daniel*
:danielanime08: i hate you
me: nah you love me really :D

Commander Jumper
August 9th, 2006, 10:12 AM
ME *walks into Danny Dungeon* OHH GOD!!! where'd they go!!!!
:cameron:: well the real Daniel decided to take a vaction
Landry: and we needed to pratice our hunting skillls for this weeks ep.
:cameron:: so we borrowed them
Me: *looks at mess of dead Daniel's* I'm not cleaing this up
Landry: me neither
:cameron:: dang I aleays get the dirty jobs

susanne
August 9th, 2006, 10:12 AM
im plumb out of ideas! *sob* i cant think of anything funny!

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 9th, 2006, 10:22 AM
Try killing John a few times.

susanne
August 9th, 2006, 10:28 AM
maybe that'll work lets see...
:ronan: : has anyone seen my hair moose?!
:mckay: : i saw shepperd with it erlier
:ronan: : ill kill him!
:teyla: : calm down ronon you can use mine....
:ronan: : thats not thepoint i had private stuff in my room and he barges in
:sheppard: : hey guys!
:ronan: : *shoots shepperd dead*
:teyla: : omg he killed shep!
:mckay: : im not saying it...
:ronan: : that b*s*erd saw all my p*rn!

Commander Jumper
August 9th, 2006, 10:50 AM
maybe that'll work lets see...
:ronan: : has anyone seen my hair moose?!
:mckay: : i saw shepperd with it erlier
:ronan: : ill kill him!
:teyla: : calm down ronon you can use mine....
:ronan: : thats not thepoint i had private stuff in my room and he barges in
:sheppard: : hey guys!
:ronan: : *shoots shepperd dead*
:teyla: : omg he killed shep!
:mckay: : im not saying it...
:ronan: : that b*s*erd saw all my p*rn!
hahahah reminds me of calwell's P*rn in my fic....he rushed from the commisary...to get it...he left it in Weir's office....Sheppard heard him thinking it :D....

IrishPisano
August 9th, 2006, 10:52 AM
:sheppard: <<banging head against gate shield>>
:mckay: dude... DUDE.... WTF?
:sheppard: i forgot my ipod back in the milky way
:mckay: hmm.. interesting...
:sheppard: not really... its an ipod and i had kelly clarkson on there...
:mckay: nonononono... interesting that we can actually say now that we left things or used to live in the milky way... <<goes off on pseudo-philosophical rant about space travel>>
:sheppard: what the hell are you talking about?
:mckay: <<continues blabbering similar to but much worse than daniel>>
:sheppard: <<pulls out pocket-size DHD, dials gate, removes shield, sticks head into gate, turns off gate>>
:mckay: so now that we're in pegasus, john...... john? wtf? <<slinks away slowly after seeing sheppard's beheaded body>>
:weir: <<walks into gate room>> hmm... some b*****d killed sheppard... oh well... his hair was getting annoying...... damn kirker

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 9th, 2006, 11:05 AM
Daniel: (relaxing at the beach, mai tai in hand) Ahhh... THis is the life. Not dying every five seconds.
Vala: Daniel, would you care for a backrub?
Sam: Hey, you gave him a backrub last time!
Daniel: (grin) Oh yeah...

(In Atlantis...)
John: *******it! Why do I keep dying and coming back to life every five seconds?!
Carson: (has John hooked up to many, many monitors) Well, that's what we're trying to find out, lad. Just relax, it'll be allright.
John: (sigh) I mean, I'm not even wearing an orange parka...
(An electrical surge goes through the city, and through the wires connected to John)
John: Oh sh-! (ZAP!)
McKay: (pokes his head in) Oh my God, they killed Sheppard! ... Again!
Carson: Those bloody b*stards!

Commander Jumper
August 9th, 2006, 12:10 PM
Me *opens T.V. Guide* Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh Hunter look who's ni my magazine!Q! It's Daniel...he's sharing *drooool*
Hunter (a.K.A. jerk brother) *Burns it*
Me: oh my God!!! Hunter Killed Daniel....B******
Mom: don't use that language in my house

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 9th, 2006, 02:35 PM
Daniel: (studying some artifacts) Hm hm hmm...
Kenny: (descends) Daniel Jackson!
Daniel: Uh... Yes?
Kenny: You lifted your curse.
Daniel: ... Yes?
Kenny: Well, I want my curse lifted too!
Daniel: Okay... But how can I help you?
Kenny: Well, just do the same things you did for yourself on me!
Daniel: It's... Not that easy...
Kenny: C'mon, please...?
Daniel: Oh, allright... Oma?
Oma: (appears) Oh dear... You two?
Daniel: Can you help him too, Oma?
Oma: Well... I can. But there will be a price.
Daniel: Can't be much worse than what he's going through.
Oma: Very well! (vanishes, and Kenny is restored to life)
Kenny: Woah! Awesome!
Daniel: I'm glad too! Now, what was that price she mentioned anyway...?
Kenny: Ummm...
(Daniel's coffee machine explodes suddenly, impaling Daniel with glass and killing him)
Kenny: Oh my God, they killed Daniel!
Jack: You b*tch Oma!

OutThere
August 9th, 2006, 08:47 PM
Daniel: (studying some artifacts) Hm hm hmm...
Kenny: (descends) Daniel Jackson!
Daniel: Uh... Yes?
Kenny: You lifted your curse.
Daniel: ... Yes?
Kenny: Well, I want my curse lifted too!
Daniel: Okay... But how can I help you?
Kenny: Well, just do the same things you did for yourself on me!
Daniel: It's... Not that easy...
Kenny: C'mon, please...?
Daniel: Oh, allright... Oma?
Oma: (appears) Oh dear... You two?
Daniel: Can you help him too, Oma?
Oma: Well... I can. But there will be a price.
Daniel: Can't be much worse than what he's going through.
Oma: Very well! (vanishes, and Kenny is restored to life)
Kenny: Woah! Awesome!
Daniel: I'm glad too! Now, what was that price she mentioned anyway...?
Kenny: Ummm...
(Daniel's coffee machine explodes suddenly, impaling Daniel with glass and killing him)
Kenny: Oh my God, they killed Daniel!
Jack: You b*tch Oma!

Shep: Okay, let me get this straight. You asked your friend Oma to pass on your curse to someone else--
Daniel: Um, yes--
Shep: And that someone happened to be me. And that's why I keep dying--
Daniel: Essentially, yes--
Shep: Then she passed on this kid Kenny's curse to you--
Daniel: That's about the size of it, yes--
Shep: So now we're both hanging out here, together, waiting to whatdidyoucallit "descend" yet again...
Daniel: Yeah, well, bit ironic, huh?
Shep: Yeah.... You realize, of course, that after I descend again I'm going to hunt you down and kill you, you b*****d?
Daniel: Get in line, Col. Sheppard. Get in line.

penguininablender
August 9th, 2006, 08:49 PM
Me *opens T.V. Guide* Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh Hunter look who's ni my magazine!Q! It's Daniel...he's sharing *drooool*
Hunter (a.K.A. jerk brother) *Burns it*
Me: oh my God!!! Hunter Killed Daniel....B******
Mom: don't use that language in my house
lmao!!! lol. That sounds like my mom (thank God I'm an only child)

Planetary_Alliance
August 9th, 2006, 08:55 PM
Shep: Okay, let me get this straight. You asked your friend Oma to pass on your curse to someone else--
Daniel: Um, yes--
Shep: And that someone happened to be me. And that's why I keep dying--
Daniel: Essentially, yes--
Shep: Then she passed on this kid Kenny's curse to you--
Daniel: That's about the size of it, yes--
Shep: So now we're both hanging out here, together, waiting to whatdidyoucallit "descend" yet again...
Daniel: Yeah, well, bit ironic, huh?
Shep: Yeah.... You realize, of course, that after I descend again I'm going to hunt you down and kill you, you b*****d?
Daniel: Get in line, Col. Sheppard. Get in line.
nice

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 10th, 2006, 09:47 AM
Shep: Okay, let me get this straight. You asked your friend Oma to pass on your curse to someone else--
Daniel: Um, yes--
Shep: And that someone happened to be me. And that's why I keep dying--
Daniel: Essentially, yes--
Shep: Then she passed on this kid Kenny's curse to you--
Daniel: That's about the size of it, yes--
Shep: So now we're both hanging out here, together, waiting to whatdidyoucallit "descend" yet again...
Daniel: Yeah, well, bit ironic, huh?
Shep: Yeah.... You realize, of course, that after I descend again I'm going to hunt you down and kill you, you b*****d?
Daniel: Get in line, Col. Sheppard. Get in line.


Heh heh heh... You get green for this!

gatebuster64
August 10th, 2006, 09:51 AM
http://forum.gateworld.net/showthread.php?p=5633654#post5633654 scroll to the top of the page and read the first three posts

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 10th, 2006, 10:58 AM
http://forum.gateworld.net/showthread.php?p=5633654#post5633654 scroll to the top of the page and read the first three posts

Not bad, not bad at all...

IrishPisano
August 10th, 2006, 11:12 AM
Not bad, not bad at all...
i guess that depends on how you have the pages oriented (latest first, oldest first) quite frankly i'm too lazy to go perusing the various orientations of the threads to understand that of which you are speaking.

-5 for you.


back to killing daniel:


:daniel: <<head explodes from trying to figure out what gatebuster64's talking about>>
me: you b******

gatebuster64
August 10th, 2006, 11:20 AM
me: *pushes IrishPisano over* *Irish falls on Daniel and snaps Daniel's neck*
Jack: you killed Daniel
Sam: you B*****d

IrishPisano
August 10th, 2006, 11:45 AM
me: *pushes IrishPisano over* *Irish falls on Daniel and snaps Daniel's neck*
Jack: you killed Daniel
Sam: you B*****d

me: <<rips of daniel's arms and beats gatebuster64 to death while daniel dies from massive blood loss>>
me: i killed both of you
me: you b*******

Amann
August 10th, 2006, 11:48 AM
me: <<rips of daniel's arms and beats gatebuster64 to death while daniel dies from massive blood loss>>
me: i killed both of you
me: you b*******

*tosses grenade, killing all of you*
Me: Yep, im a ******* all right

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 10th, 2006, 11:50 AM
Indeed. You all suck.

susanne
August 10th, 2006, 03:17 PM
:beckett: : well he's back folks and yes he's naked again!
:sheppard: : hey i didnt ask for this! *completely nude still*
* a crowd of fangirls come rushing in and rip shep to bits*
:teyla: : omg! fangirls killed daniel uh i mean shep!
:beckett: : aye that lucky b*s*erd!
------------at the sgc------------
:vala: : oh daniel please die again
:daniel: : anything for you baby *shoots himself in the head and descends*
:vala: oh daniel!
:cameron: *comes in and shoots him dead again*
:vala: : cam! he already died today! he shot himself!
:cameron: : that b*s*erd! i wanted to kill him!

Elles
August 10th, 2006, 07:44 PM
Sheppard: What, that many women?
Daniel: That's right...
Sheppard: Not fair!
Daniel: Well if you don't like it, take it up with TPTB...
Sheppard: Actually I thought I might... stab you multiple times with a pencil!
*stabs Daniel with pencil*
Vala: Oh my God! Sheppard killed Daniel! You're my hero!
Sheppard: Why?
*Daniel descends... the same way he always does*
Vala: That's why.

IrishPisano
August 11th, 2006, 06:07 AM
Sheppard: What that many women?
Daniel: That's right...
Sheppard: Not fair!
Daniel: Well if you don't like it, take it up with TPTB...
Sheppard: Actually I thought I might... stab you multiple times with a pencil!
*stabs Daniel with pencil*
Vala: Oh my God! Sheppard killed Daniel! You're my hero!
Sheppard: Why?
*Daniel descends... the same way he always does*
Vala: That's why.

:sheppard: i see... now if only weir felt the same way about me... stupid cold-blooded...
:weir: oh is that so? <<kills sheppard with his pencil>>
:vala: you pegasus people are so weird

Col. Shadow Quinn
August 11th, 2006, 12:40 PM
:daniel: I am Daniel of Borg, resistance is futile, lower your weapons and shield, your biological and technological distinctive shall be added to our own, and your race will serve the borg.
:jack: That's about the farthest from what seven of nine looks like.
:daniel:*puts on seven of nine's outfit*
:jack: *jack takes picture and shows it to everyone*
SGC: OMFG, Daniel is a transexual Viking transvestite!!!!
:daniel: *skydives and get caught in Enterprise E's tractor beam*
Picard: cut him up, kill that borg!!!!!!!!
Data: Aye sir *cut Daniel up using Borg cutting beams*.
SG1: Whoa, Enterprise E killed Daniel.
*His remains splatter on Enterprise E's hull*

:jack: It's useless, I have the higher ground.
:daniel: Don't underestimate me *Daniel jumps over Jack and jack cuts his arms and legs off and Daniel fall in lava*
:jack: these llightsabers are real, cool!

IrishPisano
August 11th, 2006, 04:26 PM
:daniel: I am Daniel of Borg, resistance is futile, lower your weapons and shield, your biological and technological distinctive shall be added to our own, and your race will serve the borg.
:jack: That's about the farthest from what seven of nine looks like.
:daniel:*puts on seven of nine's outfit*
:jack: *jack takes picture and shows it to everyone*
SGC: OMFG, Daniel is a transexual Viking transvestite!!!!
:daniel: *skydives and get caught in Enterprise E's tractor beam*
Picard: cut him up, kill that borg!!!!!!!!
Data: Aye sir *cut Daniel up using Borg cutting beams*.
SG1: Whoa, Enterprise E killed Daniel.
*His remains splatter on Enterprise E's hull*

:jack: It's useless, I have the higher ground.
:daniel: Don't underestimate me *Daniel jumps over Jack and jack cuts his arms and legs off and Daniel fall in lava*
:jack: these llightsabers are real, cool!

yeah, i watched star wars tonight too... lol

Michael Corleone: If history has taught us one thing its that you can kill anyone.
:jack: <<talking to TV>> well no crap. you call yourself the godfather? i bet you didn't know that you could kill someone more than once....
:daniel: uhm, jack? you lose it a little on our mission yesterday?
:jack: not that i can remember... just having a little fun i guess... do you have the time, by the way?
:daniel: five forty-five... why?
:jack: killing time... <<shoots daniel in the head>> who's the godfather now?

susanne
August 11th, 2006, 04:34 PM
:daniel: : hey guys all fixed i got kenny's curse lifted on some other poor idiot
:cameron: : who's that danny ol' buddy?
:daniel: you
*sattalite comes crashing into the sgc and hits cam squishing him*
:daniel: : wow thats gotta hurt.....
:vala: : omg NASA killed daniel i mean er cam!!!!!
:sam: : those geeky b*s*terds!

Col. Shadow Quinn
August 12th, 2006, 03:30 PM
:daniel: I am gay with Aaron Carter!
:jack::cameron::vala::sam::jonas::tealc: WE HATE YOU, DIE! *started slowly killing daniel using senbon(acupuncture needles) to cut him to ribbons slowly and painfully*
SG1: OMFG, we killed Daniel, that is so frakking awesome, we should've done this years ago!

susanne
August 12th, 2006, 03:42 PM
:sheppard: : hey guys coming to bungee jump off the balcony??
:mckay: : what about your curse?
:sheppard: : its just a series of unfortunate events rodney
uncle olaf: welcome childern
:sheppard: : wrong program idiot!
olaf: i will kill you!
*pushes shep off the balcony*
:mckay: : do i have to say it?!
:ronan: : *in a high pitched squeal* OMFG! A FICTIONAL CHARICTER KILLED SHEPPERD!!!!!
:mckay: : ronon you gay b*s*terd!

Commander Jumper
August 12th, 2006, 03:56 PM
*giggle* man I used to read all those books....I'm currently waiting for the next one...I read "the Penultmate Peril" in half an hour...that lemony guy needs to write longer books.

:sheppard:: hey Daniel....I'm seriously pissed about this curse thing
:daniel:: I don't care I moved mine
:sheppard:: how?
:daniel:: ask Oma
:sheppard:: oma???
Oma: will you D*mn earthling leave me the F alone!!!!
:daniel:: uhh Sheppard hates his curse...move it!!!
Oma: This is the last time....
:sheppard:: I know just who to move it to *whispers in Oma's ear* WHAT!!!! WHY!!!! BUT I WANT HIM DEAD TOO!!! FINE....MOVE IT TOO *more whispers*
*Danny gets crushed by a flying suacer!!!*
:sam:: what did you do that for?
:sheppard:: for moving his curse to Cameron, I really wanted to be the cause of that B******* pain.

Elles
August 12th, 2006, 04:07 PM
:lol:
Walter: Your attention please, do to the increased level of security blue Jell-O! is no longer permited on base.
Daniel: WHAT? No! No! NoOoooooooooooooo! I can't live like this... *stabs self*
Walter: Oh my God! Daniel killed Daniel!
Carter: You b*st*rd!

Commander Jumper
August 12th, 2006, 04:10 PM
:jack:: do to Daniel having so many Fangirls chasing him...we have made him an officail security risk. He will have to be deystroyed.....thank you!
Fangirls :Nooooooooooooooo *kill Jack*
:sam:: those B******S killed Jack...NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo

Lilith
August 12th, 2006, 08:10 PM
Attention all personal, due to recent budget cuts and limited funding from the IOC, we will be cutting back on non-esentials. A list of items no longer available through the Base budget has been posted in the commisary.

*in the Commisary*
:vala: Has anyone told Daniel yet?
:jack: Sorry but i'm returning to Washington ASAP. *looks at Carter*
:sam: Don't look at me!! I value my life.
:cameron: I think Teal'c's the only one who can tell him safely. Where is the big guy anyways?
:sam: Visiting Ry'ac and Bra'tak in the Land of Light.
:cameron: Lucky b******.
:jack: I suggest you guys leave before he finds out... it won't be pretty once he does.
:sam: I have a coupon for a spa. Wanna join me Vala?
:vala: I'd love to.
:cameron: What am I supposed to do?
:vala: You could break the news to Daniel.
:cameron: Damnit! How'd I get stuck with this job?
*several hours later in Daniel's office*
:cameron: Um Daniel, you know how the SGC's has to cut back on what they purchase.
:daniel: Yeah....
:cameron: Well, it seems we can't afford coffee anymore...
:daniel: *going berserk* WHAT?! *kills everyone*
*in Washington*
:jack: I told you it wasn't going to be pretty

Commander Jumper
August 12th, 2006, 11:44 PM
:tealc:: *shoots Daniel*
:jack:: what was that for?
:tealc:: his hair was off center...I was trying to straighten it
:jack:: with your gun?
:tealc:: indeed
:jack:: good enough for me

Col. Shadow Quinn
August 14th, 2006, 08:07 AM
:jack: Daniel, today you are going to learn how to walk on air. *jack walks in midair over a volcano*
:jack: Come on try it, it's safe.
:daniel: Okay *walks half way and falls into volcano*
:sam: OMG, Daniel killed Daniel, Jack lets make out in your hotel room.
:jack: Okay.