The Last Word

[bcmilco]

Hello everyone I have The Last Word try and take it from me... if you can! =P

~BCM =)

[DJFavorite]

Taking TLW (since it was taken illegally anyway)

[TameFarrar]

Taking TLW (since it was taken illegally anyway)


I'll say it was !!! sheesh... I was sitting INSIDE a moving police car!!! humph!!
:rolleyes: Just because we were telling everyone about his TV viewing habits he gets a little testy....
well DJF for now I will let you protect it as we try to reach 1000 on The last post

[Chookgate]

This is still scary, but it looks fun. Not sure what DJF is upto, but there's something sticking out of her pocket, is it? could it be? yes it is!

I've got TLW :p

[bcmilco]

Except now BCM sneaks up behind you and steals TLW...

BTW I was sick of waiting for you people to bring TLW over here so I stole it fair and square and brought it here. If stealing can be considered fair or square :D

~BCM =)

[DJFavorite]

Except now BCM sneaks up behind you and steals TLW...

BTW I was sick of waiting for you people to bring TLW over here so I stole it fair and square and brought it here. If stealing can be considered fair or square :D

~BCM =)
It's more oval.... Stealing TLW back!

[bcmilco]

It's more oval.... Stealing TLW back!

Yes yes you're so cleaver :P

who steals TLW right back =P

[Norlioness]

All that tugging is not healthy for TLW. BTW, it's time for TLW to go potty. *NL takes TLW* and no one should interrupt while TLW is busy. Please!

[TameFarrar]

All that tugging is not healthy for TLW. BTW, it's time for TLW to go potty. *NL takes TLW* and no one should interrupt while TLW is busy. Please!


snuck in and got TLW while NL was washing his/her (forgot to check..sorry) hands...and I thought I had OCD....... :)
I have evaded capture thus far because I have my Lovely Nox Woman Type Bra(TM) and have rendered myself AND TLW invisible......take that BCM :P

[bcmilco]

BCM pulls out his TER and finds Tame... He then steals TLW and waits for the inevitable thrashing he's going to recieve. :D

[SEREN LWCH (MAL)]

Hi guys I've just logged in.... This looks a little confusing to me. I'll need to wait untill this evening to try and work this lot out...

Oh look what I have! TLW :-P

[SeaBee]

OOOOHHHH!

Posh new forum!

This is my first post on it.

(takes TLW from MAL)

Thanx.
:D

[Norlioness]

Not anymore! :) *Takes TLW from SB* - TLW and I are baking a pineapple cheesecake for tonight's "Hawaiian Night" party.

Now, TLW, you start with the dough and roll it out ......

[SeaBee]

Dough in a cheesecake!!??

What you need is a biscuit base!

SeaBee takes TLW off to show it how a REAL cheesecake should be made.

:p

[Norlioness]

Dough in a cheesecake!!??

:p

*smack SB with rolling pin* This is a special cheesecake. It has a lovely dough (pie) crust. So there!!!! *Takes TLW back* I'm making 2 cheesecakes. If you're nice and not steal TLW, I'll give you a slice.

[SeaBee]

Pie crust?

Then it's a pie.

shows Norlioness a recipy book.

While she is looking at it SeaBee takes TLW for a bacon buttie.

:D

[Norlioness]

Being the kind person NL is, takes one cheesecake PIE and gives it to SB, right on top of his head. While SB is enjoying his cheesecake, TLW is safely back with me.



bacon buttie.

:D

What's that?

[SeaBee]

Buttie Is slang for sandwich.

SB makes a buttie, while NL is admiring the artistry, SB pockets TLW.

[Crazedwraith]

Seabee is ambushed by dancing ewoks, while SB is thus distracted CW filches TLW from him and runs off, being very careful NOT to run into anything or trip over anything.

[SeaBee]

But unfortunately slips on some cheesecake.
Tlw flies up into the air and SB catches it.
:) :p :D

[Apophis]

Only to examine it and discover that it isn't infact the TLW but is a fake because Apophis has had it all along. :eek:

[TameFarrar]

Only to examine it and discover that it isn't infact the TLW but is a fake because Apophis has had it all along. :eek:


hhhhmmm looky looky at that...what is that sticky out of your sarcophagus while you rejuvinate for 800,000 time...aaahh its TLW and it's now mine all mine......there is nothing in my path to trip me up ::;glares at all on this thread:::::: But there is a small village ahead and I will go and mingle with them. THEY don't want TLW...I hope

[Norlioness]

Only to examine it and discover that it isn't infact the TLW but is a fake because Apophis has had it all along. :eek:

Disguises self as Amaunet and Apophis mistaking NL for his queen, gives TLW to NL as a gift :D

[GateGipsy]

oooh tricksy that one! But you shouldn't have worn those voluminous robes - made it soooo easy to pick your pocket and now I have it!

[Norlioness]

Ooops, Tame beat me to it. But still in disguise, picks TLW from Tame's pocket while he mingles with the village folks.

[Norlioness]

Darn! Twice beaten to grab TLW. *Frowns at Gipsy* Just have to type faster. Grabs TLW quickly and runs away *don't tell me I'll miss TLW for the third time*

[GateGipsy]

oops darn it! Got to get the hang of reading these new threads - I jumped straight to the newest post. Should have read the thread first.

Look what'st that over there - Jack, Daniel and Tealc skinny dipping!

**grabs TLW while Norlioness is distracted and runs with it**

[bcmilco]

BCM sneaks into the frey and steals TLW =P

[Norlioness]

Snaps out of the drooling view of Jack, Daniel and Teal'c skinny dipping and soon realizes they are only cardboard figures. Sneaky Gipsy!

Sees BCM sneaking off with TLW. Sticks leg out and trips BCM. NL catches TLW safely and takes it shopping.

[TameFarrar]

Snaps out of the drooling view of Jack, Daniel and Teal'c skinny dipping and soon realizes they are only cardboard figures. Sneaky Gipsy!

Sees BCM sneaking off with TLW. Sticks leg out and trips BCM. NL catches TLW safely and takes it shopping.


Seeing as how TLW REALLY HAS been through the ringer...I will leave it with NL for a makeover..........for now........I am waiting for BCM to get his little paws on it before I pounce...I *just* missed him...darnit!! :p

[bcmilco]

Okay I'll take the bait...

BCM pounces on Taim and steals TLW...

He then runs off and cowers in fear...

[Apophis]

*Feeds bcmilco lots of coke till he needs the toilet and offers to look after TLW till he gets back. Bcmilco comes back refreshed to find Apophis gone and TLW with him. Bcmilco breaks down and crys* :p

[Crazedwraith]

And wrightly so for CW's pet eowks a angry now and viciously attack BCM leaving bite marks all over, and takeing TLW to their god Crazedwraith.

EDIT: Damn you Apophisis! You got there first. Now my loyal ewok tribes will have to maul you unconcious and swap the fake TLW they got from BCM for your real one. Now i have TLW and am located in my trusty O'neill in orbit guarded by herds of rabid ewoks. (we also have enough food and supplies to keep us alive for centuries at least)

Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaahahahaha!

[TameFarrar]

Just so ALL of you sillys know I DID NOT take TLW from NL so he still has it........ I left it with him for a shopping expedition........

So nah..BCM....

[Norlioness]

Seeing as how TLW REALLY HAS been through the ringer...I will leave it with NL for a makeover..........for now........I am waiting for BCM to get his little paws on it before I pounce...I *just* missed him...darnit!! :p

Thank you ((Tame)). Tried to post earlier but couldn't get online. TLW had a great time shopping. TLW bought some lovely shoes. We're now having ice cream. Here, have some ice cream. *hands ice cream sundae to Tame*

So, everyone, TLW is definitely still with me.

[Chookgate]

Ah but while you were handing out ice creams (where's mine?) TLW went walking to try out its new shoes, and walked straight into my hands. I now have TLW and as we speak am aboard a jet flying to ... oh heck I'm not saying where!

[Norlioness]

Unbeknownst to Chookgate, NL has put a tracking device in TLW's shoes. Tracks Chookgate and TLW easily and rings to their location. Hands 2 sundaes to Chookgate, who then releases TLW to receive the ice creams. NL quickly escapes with TLW

[bcmilco]

NL bumps into BCM who steals TLW and runs off after removing the shoes so he cannot be tracked. :p

[TameFarrar]

NL bumps into BCM who steals TLW and runs off after removing the shoes so he cannot be tracked. :p
right into my waiting trap......I have you now BCM.....<evil Tame Laughter>

BCM is now caught in the Suave Swooper Trap (TM) made by the Asgard/Furling combined company. It is designed to catch Suave swoopers...Yes that would be you BCM!!!

I now happily take TLW sans shoes...tummy full from sundae (Thanks NL) and leave you to your fate....Oh and don't struggle...it just gets tighter if you do

add more <Evil Tame laughter here> :D

[bcmilco]

BCM who was clever enough to figure out how to free himself, freed himself. =P

You see the priciple was very similar to this... *cough* anyway...

BCM then sneaks up behind Tame and yells "BOO!"

When Tame drops TLW BCM scoops it up and runs...

[TameFarrar]

WHAT THE HECK!!!!!!!

Oh you scared the living daylights out of me!!!!!!!
That BCM.....just so darn sneaky AND apparently scary :)

Good thing I have my handy dandy trusty new neeka running shoes(TM) on...BCM has no clue as a fast moving wind yet beautiful fragrance goes by him, leaving him yet again without TLW :D

What is that BCM???? Who was that "Fast moving wonderful smelling stranger"

singy songy voice....Because She is "The Quisart Saderat (sp) Tame

[bcmilco]

BCM is very much confused now, but he shakes it off and snatches TLW while Tame sings =P

[TameFarrar]

BCM is very much confused now, but he shakes it off and snatches TLW while Tame sings =P
Its from DUNE you silly.......Snatches back TLW in disgust as BCM apparently did not watch Sci-Fi two weekends ago....sheesh

[bcmilco]

I thought so, but I wasn't sure why you were singing it... BTW it's Kwisatz Haderach according to my copy of Dune...

BCM steals TLW while Tame is taking notes. :p

[TameFarrar]

I thought so, but I wasn't sure why you were singing it... BTW it's Kwisatz Haderach according to my copy of Dune...

BCM steals TLW while Tame is taking notes. :p
dag nab it I knew my spelling would be my down fall one day...BTW I was singing it to be like the little girl in the movie

Unbeknownst to BCM I have madde a fake TLW while making notes and while I explain the *concept of Dune The Movie* I quietly swap it for the real TLW

Okay...you understand now??? Okay Bye Bye BCM...walking off VERY quickly with The REAL (yes its the real one) TLW

[bcmilco]

BCM is not impressed with Tames explination because he owns the DVDs for Dune/Children of Dune.

However BCM thinks Tame could benifit from reading the Books so BCM grabs his copies of the books and lends them to Tame. While she's reading BCM steals TLW and slips away. =P

[TameFarrar]

Tame is SSSSOOOOO impressed that BCM would lend her his books (Tame LOVES books) that she is letting him walk away with TLW for now :D

[Crazedwraith]

CW, is not so genouros though, he zats BCM and runs off with TLW.

[Chookgate]

Hands 2 sundaes to Chookgate,


Very nice they were too! Well worth losing TLW over!

[Norlioness]

Glad you enjoyed the sundaes, Chook!

In the meantime, gotta get TLW away from CW - he's brandishing that Zat gun too dangerousely near TLW. Zips in and grabs TLW from CW and takes TLW to fly a kite in the park.

[DJFavorite]

But Norlioness gets the kite stuck in a tree. While Nor is in the tree trying to free the kite, DJF grabs TLW and sneaks away.


(BTW, it's taken me this long to recover from Friday's 'The Last Post' marathon. ;) )

[Crazedwraith]

CW notices Norlieness sneaking away and follows he clubs Norlieness on the back of the nogin and takes TLW which he swallows for safe keeping.

[Norlioness]

OW!!!!:mad: and glares at CW running off with a shadow TLW, since the real TLW is with DJF. *giggling* Poor CW!

Turning towards DJF, NL sees that DJF is still suffering from the "The Last Post" marathon and DJF appears to be disoriented. So NL snatches TLW and brings it home to watch Stargate SG-1 :D

[Crazedwraith]

CW, quickkly expunges the fake TLW, and repeats the earlier process on Norlioness and subjecxts TLW taken from Nor to several tests once sure it is real he swallows it for safe keeping and runs off, cafeful not to be in any way hurt by runnig into/over and/or hitting an object in his way.

[Norlioness]

OW! Again!! Runs after CW.

Catches CW with a shepherd's hook and thumps CW's back heartily. TLW is spit out and NL had to take TLW away for a shower. Before running away again, NL gives CW a nice *smack* for good measure.

[Apophis]

Norlioness boards a mothership in hope of finding a shower from himself and TLW. Unfortunatly,this mothership just so happens to belong to Apophis who brainwashes Norlioness into believing he is a god and therefore ruler of TLW. Norlioness kneels before Apophis and hands over TLW.

[Crazedwraith]

Thanks to his careful escape, crazedwraith is able to hold on to TLW. However...in a desperate attempt to keep TLW from Norlioness he jumps onto a mothership. This mothership just so happens to belong to Apophis who brainwashes crazedwraith into believing he is a god and therefore ruler of TLW. Crazedwraith kneels before Apophis and hands over TLW.
Your too late Nor has TLW! CW is rescued and de-programmed his faithful O'Neill warship piloting Ewok herd, who then beam TLW off Nor and into my clutches

Muahahahahahaha!

[Crazedwraith]

Hey did Apophsis edit his post??
Oh well using my elite Ewoks and Asgard scanners i locate TLW where-ever it is and beam in on to my O'Neills bridge. I then laugh manically As i run away.

[SEREN LWCH (MAL)]

Hey did Apophsis edit his post??
Oh well using my elite Ewoks and Asgard scanners i locate TLW where-ever it is and beam in on to my O'Neills bridge. I then laugh manically As i run away.
As you are sooooo busy laughing manically I take the chance to grab the word and dash off :-))

[Norlioness]

Not so fast, Missy Mal. *trips Mal easily* and grabs TLW and hides in MC's unruly Garden.

[Crazedwraith]

CW takes a lawnmower to MC's unruley garden until Nor runs for it.
CW yells "Norlioness, NORLIONESS KREE!" And astoudied by CW's fluent goa'uld
Nor comes back and hands over TLW, which CW beams to his warship.

[Norlioness]

CW takes a lawnmower to MC's unruley garden until Nor runs for it.
CW yells "Norlioness, NORLIONESS KREE!" And astoudied by CW's fluent goa'uld
Nor comes back and hands over TLW, which CW beams to his warship.

Sadly, the warship turns out to be a toy warship that SpongeBob SquarePants is playing with in his bathtub. So, with the ship being shaken and rattled, TLW falls out of the ship and NL quickly rescues it. Poor CW was sucked up in the whirlpool and went down the drain.

[Crazedwraith]

Cw, is furious that his ewoks manged to transport him to a toy warship rather than his O'Neill emerges out a sewage pipe somewhere extremely cloes to Nor, swearing up a storm he resumes the chase hunting nor down via a tracker ewok who leaft his pee on TLW while it was in CW's possesion (luckily CW has no sense of smell and didn't mind) thus CW and his tracker ewok located TLW clubbed Nor in the legs for a change and took TLW, making very sure his servant ewoks knew where to teleport him, he activates his Asgard transporter and materilises inside the bridge of His O'Neill class Warship and raise his extremely effective replicator improved ancient shield.

[bcmilco]

Of course after being in a sewage pipe BCM was able to SMELL CW from across the universe *ick* BCM then docked his ship with CWs sliped on board and stole TLW. once back on BCM's ship he took off never to be found =P

[TameFarrar]

Of course after being in a sewage pipe BCM was able to SMELL CW from across the universe *ick* BCM then docked his ship with CWs sliped on board and stole TLW. once back on BCM's ship he took off never to be found =P
BCM never realized that Tame had been lounging the ENTIRE time in what you might refer to as.......*Ten-Forward*....of his lovely ship and had just finished reading Children of Dune. Since Tame has nothing better to do than bug the living HECK out of BCM........She steals TLW (very very quietly) BCM has no notion this has happened as of yet........
and goes down to BCM's very well equipped (very impressed BCM) parts storage room and builds a one *girl* ship. Tame then launches the Tamethus (TMpending) and heads back to earth with TLW

[bcmilco]

BCM who has been monitoring Tame's progress, activates the stop feature that he had built into the parts that Tame uses. BCM then beems Tame and her ship aboard and steals TLW...
BCM then beams them back out into space to drift... don't worry I left you enough food and water and books to last untill rescue ship gets there... in a week or two :D

BCM then flies away...

[TameFarrar]

Oh...shards!!!!....Oh Na -AH BCM didn't dismantle my engines...coolness of cool....The Tamethus (TMpending) rides again..WOO HOO......oh wait the engines won't start.....blasted BCM and his stoppy thingy ...... grunt...groan...huff... pufff....okay that has been disabled......once again and with feeling *The Tamethus* (TMpending) rides again. Tame zips acrossed space and locates BCM's ship easily ...because Tame is really good like that....and latches onto BCM hull. Tame boards BCM's craft and snatches TLW and hightails it back to the Tamethus (TMpending). Disengaged from BCM's ship Tame zips away ...again because Tame is good like that....... and then finds a place to hide...why??? well because BCM supplied Tame with food and water and books for at least a week :D

[bcmilco]

You didn't realize that those books have tracking devices in them and I was able to expertly track you down and steal back TLW... I then took your ship and my ship and left you with the food, water and books on a planet with NO stargate... dont worry a ship should be along in a few days to pick you up... Meanwhile I've got to find a safe place to stash TLW...

[TameFarrar]

You didn't realize that those books have tracking devices in them and I was able to expertly track you down and steal back TLW... I then took your ship and my ship and left you with the food, water and books on a planet with NO stargate... dont worry a ship should be along in a few days to pick you up... Meanwhile I've got to find a safe place to stash TLW...
I have no response for this...I am stumped for the moment...foiled by the well prepared BCM
Well as long as I have something good to read...I shall take advantage of a well deserved vacation ...could someone drop Jack off..I am sure he could use a vacation too :D

[SEREN LWCH (MAL)]

You didn't realize that those books have tracking devices in them and I was able to expertly track you down and steal back TLW... I then took your ship and my ship and left you with the food, water and books on a planet with NO stargate... dont worry a ship should be along in a few days to pick you up... Meanwhile I've got to find a safe place to stash TLW...
I have just the place..... MY POCKET! Thank you bye bye!

Off MAL runs with TLW!

[Crazedwraith]

CW is dismayed. How did BCM dock with his ship through it's extremely effective replicator improved ancient shields? This git CW so disspressed he goes for a walk and by an extremely unlikely coincodence walks straight into MAL, who he promtly zats and take TLW from. He then manges an evil chuckle seeing as he's still depressed.
Muaha-ho

[SEREN LWCH (MAL)]

CW is dismayed. How did BCM dock with his ship through it's extremely effective replicator improved ancient shields? This git CW so disspressed he goes for a walk and by an extremely unlikely coincodence walks straight into MAL, who he promtly zats and take TLW from. He then manges an evil chuckle seeing as he's still depressed.
Muaha-ho
I'm afraid guys this thread is getting TO MUCH! People zating, hitting people on the head etc... Not a friendly place! While MAL is saying this she sneaks behind a shocked CW and grabs the word!

BYE GUYS! Mal dashes off again.

[Crazedwraith]

I'm afraid guys this thread is getting TO MUCH! People zating, hitting people on the head etc... Not a friendly place! While MAL is saying this she sneaks behind a shocked CW and grabs the word!

BYE GUYS! Mal dashes off again.
..only to run face first into a wall. CW amples up take TLW, phones an ambulance (I'm a nice guy really) and dissappears into the darkness, (CW of course has night vision goggles and so is in no danger of accdiently tripping or runnig into somethnig in the dark.

[DJFavorite]

Then DJF shines a flood light right at CW, which blinds him. DJF grabs TLW and she takes off on her bike.

[Crazedwraith]

DJF zooms off on her bike only to realise its run out of fuel its splutters to a stop DJF flys off the bike and is knocked unconcious on landing. Sighing at hos own foolish generousity CW phones another ambulance takes TLW and dematerileds in his O'Neill's teleporter pattern buffer. He then runs off.

[Norlioness]

DJF zooms off on her bike only to realise its run out of fuel its splutters to a stop DJF flys off the bike and is knocked unconcious on landing. Sighing at hos own foolish generousity CW phones another ambulance takes TLW and dematerileds in his O'Neill's teleporter pattern buffer. He then runs off.

....forgetting to take TLW with him. NL having bribed CW's ewoks to transport her to CW's ship, grabs TLW and quickly teleported out of CW's ship to Jack O'Neill quarters. *sigh* What better hiding place.

[TameFarrar]

...quickly teleported out of CW's ship to Jack O'Neill quarters. *sigh* What better hiding place.
You forget Jack is on vacation with me on the unknown planet that BCM left us at....who the heck NEEDS TLW :D

[Norlioness]

You forget Jack is on vacation with me on the unknown planet that BCM left us at....who the heck NEEDS TLW :D

:D Ah, but you only wished for Jack to be on vacation with you. He's here, playing with TLW. NL is very contented!

[TameFarrar]

:D Ah, but you only wished for Jack to be on vacation with you. He's here, playing with TLW. NL is very contented!
Ya know I was content to just hang on my little planet and play with Jack :D for a few days and let TLW go on its merry way...but NNNNNOOOOO you suck me back in.
Tame marches in just flat out grabs TLW, glares at both NL AND Jack and leaves............Okay I will forgive Jack...I am sure NL has him under some alien drug :eek:
Anyhoo..I am off ...WITH TLW

[DJFavorite]

Tame, still upset over what NL has done to Jack, walks right into DJF. As they appologize for the crash, DJF picks up TLW that Tame dropped in the collision and the two head off in their separate ways.

[TameFarrar]

Tame...stopping abruptly..:::patting myself::::::.. OOHHH DJF that was just to dog gone easy :)

[Norlioness]

Ya know I was content to just hang on my little planet and play with Jack :D for a few days and let TLW go on its merry way...but NNNNNOOOOO you suck me back in.
Tame marches in just flat out grabs TLW, glares at both NL AND Jack and leaves............Okay I will forgive Jack...I am sure NL has him under some alien drug :eek:
Anyhoo..I am off ...WITH TLW

Tame leaves Jack with NL?!? :D:D:D Alright!!!!!!!

[Norlioness]

Tame, still upset over what NL has done to Jack, walks right into DJF. As they appologize for the crash, DJF picks up TLW that Tame dropped in the collision and the two head off in their separate ways.

*scratches head* Why would DJF and TLW go their separate ways? Anyhoo, found TLW wandering around looking lost. Took TLW home and gave it some breakfast. BTW, Jack's gone off-world - darn work!

[Crazedwraith]

CW is troubled by his ewoks betrayal goes back to his O'Neill wit the intention of whipping them with in an inch of the furry livies but is soon assued by Chulak, the head of the loyal ewoks, that they of course were way to loyal to acceot bribes and all Nors money had got her were a poor forgery. CW gives his ewoks large bonuses for their cleverness and goes to bed cuddling the REAL TLW with a FN fifty-four pistol in his grasp. He also makes sure his O'neill's sheilds are raised.

[SEREN LWCH (MAL)]

MAL finds a way to lower the O'Neil's sheilds (Dont ask ME how :-P) Then she sneaks TLW out ofCW arms. Then off MAL dashes!

[TomSluder]

Right off into Tom's ambush. As MAL struggles to free herself from the bindings, Tom uses the DHD the gate off to an undisclosed location with TLW. *(And no MAL didn't see the address...the blindfold took care of that).

And THAT'S The Last Word!

[Crazedwraith]

Right off into Tom's ambush. As MAL struggles to free herself from the bindings, Tom uses the DHD the gate off to an undisclosed location with TLW. *(And no MAL didn't see the address...the blindfold took care of that).

And THAT'S The Last Word!


Luckily as MAL didn't get off MY ship before you ambushed her, the gate you went through was my personal gate and the DHD although looking normal on the outside had an internal modifiaction which records gate adresses, thus CW knows where Tom went and chases him, slaps him silly and takes TLW, then he gates back to his ship, disconnects the DHD so it can't be dialled raises his shields again and laughs manacally seeing as he has

THE LAST WORD.

Mauahahahahahaha

[TomSluder]

Luckily as MAL didn't get off MY ship before you ambushed her, the gate you went through was my personal gate and the DHD although looking normal on the outside had an internal modifiaction which records gate adresses, thus CW knows where Tom went and chases him, slaps him silly and takes TLW, then he gates back to his ship, disconnects the DHD so it can't be dialled raises his shields again and laughs manacally seeing as he has

THE LAST WORD.

Mauahahahahahaha
Since the DHD working on the other end isn't essential for the Gate to be dialed (ie the Antartic Gate), Tom gates back to GW's ship (following the tracking device he left behind). After he sneaks into CW's room and steals back TLW ,Tom uses an Asgard Transporter to escape to a hidden, cloaked shuttle and escapes with....
The Last Word!

[Crazedwraith]

Luckily CW and TLW were on the bridge, they laugh at Tom's foolishness in taking the TLW-shaped C4 explosive left on CW's bunk. Somewhere in the vasteness of space Tom's TLW forgery detonates crippling his vesserla and disabling it's cloak.

The last thing Tom will hear for a while is a monotonus vioce:

WE ARE THE BORG. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. RESISTANCE IS.....FUTILE.

Alos CW chucks his stargate out an air lock seeing as it's been a liablity

[bcmilco]

CW arrives at the Asgard homeworld where he meets up with Thor.

Thor offers CW a safe place to rest for the night and offers to gaurd TLW for CW.

CW gives Thor TLW and goes to sleep.

Thor took TLW to the safest place he could think of... BCM :D :D :D

BCM thanked Thor and took the his Asgard ship and flew off...

[DJFavorite]

.... right straight to DJF's ship, where she quickly beamed TLW to her ship and tucked it safely in her jacket. She then zoomed away back to Earth and her uncharted island, where Daniel is waiting.

[Crazedwraith]

.... right straight to DJF's ship, where she quickly beamed TLW to her ship and tucked it safely in her jacket. She then zoomed away back to Earth and her uncharted island, where Daniel is waiting.

Or so DJF thought, CW is on the island wearing a Daniel disguise, when DJF apporaches for a welcome back hug, CW shoots her several times wit h P-90 Intar takes TLW and DJF's ship (whoose computer he porompty purges to assure DJF cannot remotly control the vessel) and hyperlaunches into deep space.

[bcmilco]

Of course with the computer purged, there's nothing to run the hyperdrive so CW's a sitting duck. :D

BCM swoops in docks with CW's ship steals TLW undocks making 100% sure CW is still on his ship and takes off.

[Crazedwraith]

Thanx. Since I was in your completely inoperatvie ship before, you transferred my to orginal fully working ship! Leaving you in your crippled ship with TLW.

CW beams TLW off BCM's ship and uses a tractor beam to place it (BCM's ship not TLW) in a decaying orbit around a star. Then (with TLW) he hyperlauches his O'Neill to a galaxy far,far away!

[TameFarrar]

Thanx. Since I was in your completely inoperatvie ship before, you transferred my to orginal fully working ship! Leaving you in your crippled ship with TLW.

CW beams TLW off BCM's ship and uses a tractor beam to place it (BCM's ship not TLW) in a decaying orbit around a star. Then (with TLW) he hyperlauches his O'Neill to a galaxy far,far away!
Since THAT made ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE (BCM said he left you on the broken ship)....I am taking TLW from you.......... well because I can..........
Since Thor and I go way back to the days of when he had to beam me around when FootHolder was eating her way around the world with TLW I still have all my Asgard Acutremount~ and Can pretty much flit arond the universe on a whim..... So off I go ..WITH TLW

[bcmilco]

Since THAT made ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE

Thank you, it wasn't just me :D


Anyhoo, Thor and I have been buddies since before you came along and Thor decided to lend me a hand, he beamed TLW off of your ship and beamed it onto my ship, the brand new one that has all the bells and whistles and fancy dohickies. So I zip into hyperspace and away from Tame and all the rest of you TLW-hunters into ... well I'm not telling you so you can't find me :D :D :p :p

[TameFarrar]

Thank you, it wasn't just me :D
Anyhoo, Thor and I have been buddies since before you came along
Thank you so much for making me feel young!!!! :D
btw..I was on a planet not a ship :p

[Crazedwraith]

Since THAT made ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE


It did to me. I stole BCM's ship when i ran away right? So when "CW was left on HIS ship" i was actually left on MY ship wich worked.

And so
it did make sense it a nit-picky way and therefore I have TLW!

[Norlioness]

Not to worry about who's got TLW. I've asked my good friend, Paige (of the Charmed Ones) to call magically for TLW from wherever it is, and voila! TLW materialzes and is now safely with NL.

[bcmilco]

Oh, good now that that's all cleared up BCM sneaks in and steals TLW from NL. BCM then puts Anti-Magic Stuff(TM) all over TLW and BCM so that no one can use magic around us... BCM then runs away... =P

[TameFarrar]

Oh, good now that that's all cleared up BCM sneaks in and steals TLW from NL. BCM then puts Anti-Magic Stuff(TM) all over TLW and BCM so that no one can use magic around us... BCM then runs away... =P
and ends up right back where he started...right in front of Tame. :D
With shoulders sagging in defeat BCM just hands over TLW to Tame as it IS just the easiest thing to do right now :p Bye Bye...write if you get work :D

[Supreme Commander Thor]

You all need to walk through my hammer-shaped doorway to have your symbiotes removed...

[SEREN LWCH (MAL)]

and ends up right back where he started...right in front of Tame. :D
With shoulders sagging in defeat BCM just hands over TLW to Tame as it IS just the easiest thing to do right now :p Bye Bye...write if you get work :D

It was a full moon last night...."I used to be a Werewolf but i'm better knoWWWWWWWWW," As Tame stands there wondering if MAL has cracked, MAL grabs TLW and dashes off!!! ::again:: :p

[Crazedwraith]

You all need to walk through my hammer-shaped doorway to have your symbiotes removed...


Pardon?

Oh and CW clubs MAL with a fake TLW, then swaps it for the real
TLW, laughing manically in his head, he runs of. When MAL wakes she's amazed she still has TLW not noticing the embosed label on the bottom reading:

FAKE THE LAST WORD, MADE IN KOREA by poor enslaved children who get paid in beans.
***

No offense to any Koreans on the board. If your north korean assume i meant south korea and visa vera.

[SEREN LWCH (MAL)]

Pardon?

Oh and CW clubs MAL with a fake TLW, then swaps it for the real
TLW, laughing manically in his head, he runs of. When MAL wakes she's amazed she still has TLW not noticing the embosed label on the bottom reading:

FAKE THE LAST WORD, MADE IN KOREA by poor enslaved children who get paid in beans.
***

No offense to any Koreans on the board. If your north korean assume i meant south korea and visa vera.

Good job MAL made a copy of TLW... wonder how long CW will take to relise this....

[DJFavorite]

DJF steals Mal's copy machine.....

Tired of her always making copies of TLW. :D

[SEREN LWCH (MAL)]

DJF steals Mal's copy machine.....

Tired of her always making copies of TLW. :D

hmmmm... you forgot TLW. Also next time you had better check if the machine is the real one :p

[DJFavorite]

What!? You make copies of copy machines?!

Goes and takes everything from MAL (including TLW) :p

Now what are you going to do???

[Crazedwraith]

Good job MAL made a copy of TLW... wonder how long CW will take to relise this....

Well, I'm glad you have copies MAL as i still have the real one, you never said I HAD the copy just that you made one. Pressumply so it dodn't hurt you emotionally when you lost the orginal :p

[bcmilco]

Confused as all get out BCM grabs CW, MAL, and DJF... He then gets all the TLWs and TLW copiers and puts them into a bonfire... when the flames die down the only thing left is the Real TLW.
BCM then grabs it --boy it's not even hot :p-- and runs off...

[Crazedwraith]

Confused as all get out BCM grabs CW, MAL, and DJF... He then gets all the TLWs and TLW copiers and puts them into a bonfire... when the flames die down the only thing left is the Real TLW.
BCM then grabs it --boy it's not even hot :p-- and runs off...


CW is rescued from the fire by a bunch of lyal ewoks he then sucessfully sues BCM and gets TLW and several million pounds as compensation, BCM is put in prison for attempted murder. (you sadist, attempting to burning us alive!)

[bcmilco]

I didn't mean I put CW DJF or MAL into the fire I put the other stuff into the fire, but the only way to *get* the other stuff was to round you guys up and take it. :p

So your lawsuit fails for lack of grounds and BCM reclaims TLW. CW's lawyers are mad at him for bring them a false case and chase him down, while BCM makes his escape with TLW. =P

[Crazedwraith]

I didn't mean I put CW DJF or MAL into the fire I put the other stuff into the fire, but the only way to *get* the other stuff was to round you guys up and take it. :p

So your lawsuit fails for lack of grounds and BCM reclaims TLW. CW's lawyers are mad at him for bring them a false case and chase him down, while BCM makes his escape with TLW. =P


Arrgh! I'm to busy runing from layers to get TLW!! BCM waches CW's get horriply mauled by Layers and is overcome with greif and guilt so she vists Cw in hospital after the layers are done with him and gives him TLW. CW beams up to his O'Neill before BCM can change his mind.

[Champos]

I've been out of the loop for the last week and I've come back only to find that TLW has been stolen from me. Now, there are two ways that I can reclaim TLW. One, I could somehow transport myself onto the O'Neill, overcome CW, steal back TLW, and then escape into the abyss. That way requires quite a bit of effort though, and since I'm fairly tired right now, I'm not going to bother. Instead, I'm going to go for the second option. It's mine. I want it and I'm taking it - screw you all!

(It's good to be back)

[Zod]

This thread now belongs to me and you all shall KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!:mad:

[Champos]

Yeah sure, I'll kneel before you (or not!!!!!). Whilst Zod is distracted by Champos' pretending to kneel before him, he doesn't notice Champos reach out with a a pair of extendable chopsticks and steal TLW. Bowing obsequiously, Champos backs away, then raises a finger to Zod and runs, runs, runs like the wind I tell you!!!!!!

[SeaBee]

SeaBee pokes his head over the parapet.

Checks that anti-virus and firewall are FULLY engaged.

******* Hackers and their ******* viruses!

1 week offline and 40 quid poorer!

*steals TLW from Champos as he runs past*

[Crazedwraith]

*sticks leg at Seabee goes past sending him flying head over heels*

CW deftly catches TLW and laughs manically, like so:

Mauahahahaha

Then he dissappears under a cloaking device. (And stops laughing, would That be a big give-away!)

[Bagpuss]

FHB,having Bionic Hearing ,finds CW easily ! Having found a TER gadget lying around,FHB fires it in a methodical way in centric patterns until CW reappears!

Grabbing TLW (and leaving a choc cheesecake as solace!) FHB scurries away.......... :D

LOCK UP YOUR FOODIE-GOODIES FOLKS!!
FHB prev AKA Footholder is BACK!

[TameFarrar]

(((((((((((((F.H. Bagpuss))))))))))))))))0 Just so Darn Glad to see you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Bagpuss]

(((((((((((((F.H. Bagpuss))))))))))))))))0 Just so Darn Glad to see you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TAME!!! Great to see you too!! ((((((((((((Tame))))))))))))) :)

I had a huge problem 1st May. Computer went berserk and tried its best to commit Hara- Kiri .Hubby did his best to fix it but had to give up and take the stupid thing in to be doctored by the experts!

To make matters worse,being a Bank Hol w/e and the huge number of Sasser Worm cases,we didn't get our little I.T. Babykins back till today!

Curses to all Viruses and comp probs in general- It took me nearly all week to get used to being bereft of all Forum contact.The "Withdrawal" nearly did me in!
Missed so many chances to reply to "Old Forum" messages too- I had 6 messages waiting all week,as it turns out, including one from you!(Sighs)

Anyway,these things are sent to try us,so on with the show!

Want TLW? Bring it on Amigo!! :D

[Crazedwraith]

CW sudues the retreating Bagpuss with a thrown choc cheesecake, he then removes TLW and TER from Bagpuss and dons a federation isolation suit. Thus invisble he retreats as silent as a ghost.

[Zod]

Yeah sure, I'll kneel before you (or not!!!!!). Whilst Zod is distracted by Champos' pretending to kneel before him, he doesn't notice Champos reach out with a a pair of extendable chopsticks and steal TLW. Bowing obsequiously, Champos backs away, then raises a finger to Zod and runs, runs, runs like the wind I tell you!!!!!!Why do you do this to me when you know i'll kill you for it

[Champos]

What can I say, I like to live dangerously... and I still have TLW!

[Norlioness]

Not anymore, Champos. I have TLW :D.

You guys have been treating TLW with a very careless and dangerous attitude. It's late, and TLW needs to rest and go to sleep. So, everyone, GO TO BED and leave TLW alone!!!!!

[TameFarrar]

Not anymore, Champos. I have TLW :D.

You guys have been treating TLW with a very careless and dangerous attitude. It's late, and TLW needs to rest and go to sleep. So, everyone, GO TO BED and leave TLW alone!!!!!
Seeing as how BOTH CW AND NL think they BOTH have TLW Tame makes a stop by both.........CW while being invisible is NOT soundproof......and snaps a twig trying to sneak passed Tame...Ah-Ha caught ya...nabbing TLW that CW has Tame moves on to NL.
Luckily NL has given TLW its own room to rest..you are so thoughtful NL.......AND there are NO alarms of any kind...how cool...Tame gently takes TLW that NL has as well.
Once by herself Tame determines which is the real TLW and then moves on to let chase continue...............

[bcmilco]

Seeing as how BOTH CW AND NL think they BOTH have TLW Tame makes a stop by both.........CW while being invisible is NOT soundproof......and snaps a twig trying to sneak passed Tame...Ah-Ha caught ya...nabbing TLW that CW has Tame moves on to NL.
Luckily NL has given TLW its own room to rest..you are so thoughtful NL.......AND there are NO alarms of any kind...how cool...Tame gently takes TLW that NL has as well.
Once by herself Tame determines which is the real TLW and then moves on to let chase continue...............

Hey Tame :D How's it going?

that's nice...
see you later...

Oh, BTW is this TLW that I have in my hand... Why yes my TLW detector tells me it is. Thanks for giving me TLW Tame. see you later =P

[TameFarrar]

Hey Tame :D How's it going?

that's nice...
see you later...

Oh, BTW is this TLW that I have in my hand... Why yes my TLW detector tells me it is. Thanks for giving me TLW Tame. see you later =P
Hi BCM....so good to see you too!!!!! :D
((((((((((((BCM)))))))))))))))
oh what is this I am taking from your pocket as I hug you????? :eek:

why yes.....it is TLW
have a nice evening...good seeing you :D

[Norlioness]

Seeing as how BOTH CW AND NL think they BOTH have ...............

LOL Tame. Glad you got the right TLW. *smack self* should have read the messages more carefully.

Leaves TLW with Tame since she is so gentle with TLW. NL IS going to bed. Night, all

[Champos]

The thing is that like so many of us, TLW has a Dark Side. Sometimes it wants to be nice and gentle and to be mothered by Tame, other times it wants to get out and live a little. Tonight is one of those other times. TLW sneaks out of Tame's posession and runs, runs, runs to the nearest establishment selling alcoholic beverages. Champos just happens to be sitting at the bar (he had nothing better to do) and sees TLW when it walks in. Champos buys it a drink (it's not really his type but he's had a few so he's not being so picky right now), they chat, they bond, they go back to his place...

[TameFarrar]

The thing is that like so many of us, TLW has a Dark Side. Sometimes it wants to be nice and gentle and to be mothered by Tame, other times it wants to get out and live a little. Tonight is one of those other times. TLW sneaks out of Tame's posession and runs, runs, runs to the nearest establishment selling alcoholic beverages. Champos just happens to be sitting at the bar (he had nothing better to do) and sees TLW when it walks in. Champos buys it a drink (it's not really his type but he's had a few so he's not being so picky right now), they chat, they bond, they go back to his place...
****SMACK**** That is the sound Tame hears as she comes up upon Champos' place. "I AM NOT THAT KIND OF WORD!!!!" and as TLW storms OUT of Champos' place I scoop it up and we glide off into the moonlit night discussing what jack&^%es boys can be...........

[Bagpuss]

FHB meets Tame and the Boozy Girlie TLW and offers them both a Chicken + Salad Kebab.
After eating the promised treat, and drinking a couple of sobering espressos,TLW decides to pay a visit to the Ladies Room.
Sneaky FHB follows and when TLW is finished(!), FHB and TLW sneak away into the night.(TLW thinks a vid session of Clangers and Bagpuss episodes sounds good fun!).............Sorry Tame (Again!) :D

[TameFarrar]

Always a plus when FH Bagpuss comes around...the food is EXCELLENT!!! having no clue where FH Bagpuss and TLW have gotten themselves off to...why do we women go in pairs?????......Tame checks out the ladies room....ACK! Dang that FH Bagpuss...underhanded as always! I should have known when she handed me food!!
Luckily for me FH Bagpuss did not realize that she has a strip of the TP (toilet paper for those NOT in the know) stuck to her shoe and bits are falling off as she walks away with TLW, leaving me a lovely trail....Spotting them up ahead, Tame dashes around a building to cut them off on the next block.....laying in wait ..Tame springs out on the unsuspecting FH Bagpuss, causing her to toss the choccy whatever she was nibbling, (sorry) up into the air, along with TLW. Tame nabs TLW and heads for the hills. Leaving a choccy juggling FH Bagpuss far behind

[bcmilco]

Unfortunately Tame runs into BCM where he rips TLW out of her hands and runs off into the night. =P

[TameFarrar]

ya know..... FH and I go to great lengths to create a wonderful scenerio for the readers to picture in their minds as they are envisioning TLW being bandied about and you just walk in *rip* it out of my hand and *run* off into the night?????
BCM ...confronted with his brashness just stands there dazed from Tame's tongue lashing so Tame rips TLW out of his hands and runs off into the night :P

[Bagpuss]

Unfortunately for Tame,FHB is still hot on the TLW trail! Having acquired a Bolas (and the "Gaucho" skills to use it!),FHB easily brings down "Noxie" and thus she rescues TLW from her sweaty little paws! :D

Having ensured that she's not still toting toilet roll stuck to her shoes,FHB and TLW scuttle off again in search of sanctuary, and more Baileys for TLW-quite a lush isn't she? ;) ............


Edited for accuracy!FHB :p

[Champos]

Except that since there was no moon that night, BCM couldn't see where he was going and tripped over Champos' outstretched leg. Champos apologised to TLW, told it he knew it wasn't that kind of word, said it wasn't his type anyway (though obviously if he did go for words then he'd go for TLW defintitely), and they head off together into the night, carrying a torch to see where they're going.

[Bagpuss]

Mine Mine Mine!!!! :D (But not for long methinks!) ;)

[Champos]

Damn! That'll teach me to spend so long on my replies. Fair enough then, FHB has TLW and goes off in search of Baileys. Champos happens to be working behind the bar, and distracts FHB by accidentally spilling a drink all over her. Whilst FHB goes off to clean herself up, Champos takes TLW and runs, runs, runs, I tell you!

[Bagpuss]

LOL!! :D
FHB is a seasoned soak (!) and a little matter like a spilt drink is short work for her to lap up, while chasing madly after Champos!
Running him to a standstill, in borrowed "Sonic the Hedgehog Speedy Sneakers" (TM),FHB wrestles TLW back and zooms off again!... :cool: .

[Champos]

I'm sorry but I spilt all the drink all over you, and you lapped it up????????? Do you have like an incredibly long tongue, coupled with a really flexible body? Note: while you stop and think about what you've done, I'm just gonne have to steal back TLW. Mine.

[Crazedwraith]

CW walks up to Champos, asks him to give him TLW. Champos refuses so he gets knocked out by loveable cute mad ewoks, CW takes TLW zats it so it has no say in who has it, And then noxifies it so no one can see,hear,smell or sense it.

[Norlioness]

CW walks up to Champos, asks him to give him TLW. Champos refuses so he gets knocked out by loveable cute mad ewoks, CW takes TLW zats it so it has no say in who has it, And then noxifies it so no one can see,hear,smell or sense it.
Unfortunately, neither can CW..... so while CW is busy trying to locate the invisible TLW, TLW wanders around looking for a friendly soul. But who should it bump into? Me, of course. :)

Putting TLW into my pocket, we headed for the secret Nox world (did I tell you that I know the Nox personally?) to have the invisibility cloaking removed from TLW. Lya is understandably upset at CW for using the Nox's secret and patented cloaking capability. She then strips CW of this capability and stamps on his forehead "de-Noxed*

[Crazedwraith]

Unfortunately, neither can CW..... so while CW is busy trying to locate the invisible TLW, TLW wanders around looking for a friendly soul. But who should it bump into? Me, of course. :)

Putting TLW into my pocket, we headed for the secret Nox world (did I tell you that I know the Nox personally?) to have the invisibility cloaking removed from TLW. Lya is understandably upset at CW for using the Nox's secret and patented cloaking capability. She then strips CW of this capability and stamps on his forehead "de-Noxed*


Bay! How could TLW word find you after i zatted it unconsiuos so it couldn't!!!
It don't make sense.

Anyhoo CW cleans off the stamp from his forhead and uses his O'Neill to hyper-launch to the Nox planet and use its go sumwhere beam on the entire planet, TLW is delivered to CW's lap and everything else is ent to Ne'tu a few moments before the Tok'Ra weapon destroys it.

[Norlioness]

Bay! How could TLW word find you after i zatted it unconsiuos so it couldn't!!!
It don't make sense.
Because you couldn't see TLW, you spent hours looking for it and by then, TLW had recovered from the zat stun and wandered off.


Anyhoo CW cleans off the stamp from his forhead and uses his O'Neill to hyper-launch to the Nox planet and use its go sumwhere beam on the entire planet, TLW is delivered to CW's lap and everything else is ent to Ne'tu a few moments before the Tok'Ra weapon destroys it.

*sigh* Unfortunately, TLW was playing on the planet below the Nox city and was beamed, planet and all by CW. Luckily, the Nox city is well guarded against transport beams of any kind and the Nox are not sent to Netu and are therefore safe. No wonder the Nox won't help the Tau'ris much as they find us real tricksy and sneaky.

NL then tracks CW to his lair, and again with the help of the Nox, beams on board CW's O'Neill and waits until CW's is lulled into complacency that TLW is not leaving him. CW's stomach growls and he goes in search of food, leaving TLW unattended on his command chair. NL swoops in and beams out with TLW after setting the O'Neill on a course towards a Replicator invested planet. Bye-bye, CW

[TameFarrar]

I'm sorry but I spilt all the drink all over you, and you lapped it up????????? Do you have like an incredibly long tongue, coupled with a really flexible body? Note: while you stop and think about what you've done, I'm just gonne have to steal back TLW. Mine.
I know you no longer have the TLW...but I also see that you have never crossed the path of the infamous F.H. Bagpuss or you would have NEVER asked that question..... :D :D :D :D :D :D

[TameFarrar]

Unfortunatly for you NL...Tame is a member of one of the sister Tribes of the Nox (see old forum post number something) Seeing as how the Tau'ri HAVE been extremely tricksy and sneaky (the Nox talk just like Smeagal) they feel it is best that TLW be with one of their own...so they hide if from NL's eyes and lead Tame to it. Thus now I again have TLW :D

[Bagpuss]

Darn straight, Tame! Add "Flexible" to Pink,cuteish,Shameless and greedy and that description will fit me to a "T"! :D

Cup-Cake,anyone? ;)

[Bagpuss]

Unfortunatly for you NL...Tame is a member of one of the sister Tribes of the Nox (see old forum post number something) Seeing as how the Tau'ri HAVE been extremely tricksy and sneaky (the Nox talk just like Smeagal) they feel it is best that TLW be with one of their own...so they hide if from NL's eyes and lead Tame to it. Thus now I again have TLW :D

Alas! FHB is feeling sneaky(What do ya expect from a Pink Cat?). FHB tickles Tame and grabs TLW,then legs it v. smartish!

[Crazedwraith]

CW has now eaten a hearty lunch and is quite suprised ti find he no longer has TLW and for some reason there are replicators on his ship. His loya ewoks use thrown stones to se of the reps and then CW then plugs in his acme TLW-FINDER-O-MATIC which leads him to FHB, CW promtly beams down elitle commado ewoks of doom who club FHB and beam back up to the O'Neill (with TLW) which then jumps into hyperspace. Leaving any other TLW hunters unable to board the O'Neill.

[Bagpuss]

Who's this FBH? Far as I know,I'm FHB and yes I still hold TLW! ;)
Actually I'm holding her v. gently: all this Universe hopping has played sheer havoc with her digestion on top of last night's excesses. :eek: Poor little TLW!

Sorry CW.No idea what you've got but judging from the hangover,looks like I have the real TLW.(No idea how to cure her,any ideas?)

[DJFavorite]

DJF, having disappeared over the weekend, shows up on the scene. She sees FHB trying to nurse TLW back to perfect health, and seeing her difficulty, offers to help. DJF pulls out her miracle cure and heals TLW. FHB, being grateful, realizes that TLW is better off under the care of DJF and hands it over.

[bcmilco]

DJF then takes TLW to BCM because, if anyone can take care of a sick TLW it's him... So BCM takes off with TLW to make it feel better. =P

[Champos]

The thing is, you're all referring to TLW as being female, which it blatantly isn't (it transcends our petty imaginings of gender). Realising something's wrong here, Champos checks back along the path and concludes that someone along the way someone must have picked up a fake TLW (we'll call it TLW2). Champos wanders along the path aimlessly and just-so happens to come across the real TLW. He picks it up, checks it is indeed the correct TLW, and they head off together for a curry.

[Bagpuss]

EEK! Does this mean we've all been chasing a very Girlie Trannie TLW? Oh well, no problem, IMO,I've no problem with that....Free World! :cool:

FHB sidles up to Champos' table, and in disguise as Head Waitress,waits on Champos,drugging his Kingfisher Beer in the process.

FHB gives TLW a check over,decides "She's" still genuine and calls a taxi.Champos is zonked face down on the table,snoring loudly into his green salad.

FHB and TLW are off again,'Bye Champos! :p

[Champos]

I'm hurt! Really, very, very hurt. First off I'm accused of drinking Kingfisher beer (!), then of having a green salad! I have to say that I really am shocked by your perception of me. Now, if you'd said you'd drugged my pint of, I don't know, Carling Extra Cold maybe, or even Tsing Tao, and that I was snoring into my medium/well-done steak, or my Madras curry, maybe then I'd be happy. As it is I'm too hurt even to bother taking back TLW. I suggest you go up to your room and think about what you've done.

[Bagpuss]

Sheeeeeesh! I was only trying to keep you healthy with the salad ! ;)

As for the beer,let's substitute your fave instead? Quite partial to a drop of Carling myself- Cheers! :D

OK,I've thought about "What I've Done". Sorry,my Bagpuss persona still regrets nothing!(What do you expect from a cat?)

Can I come downstairs now? TLW says Hi and thanks for the gentlemanly treatment.......

[Crazedwraith]

The thing is, you're all referring to TLW as being female, which it blatantly isn't (it transcends our petty imaginings of gender). /
You mean sex not gender. Gender means if your behavour is masculine or feminie where as sex is physically what kind reproductive organs you have.

BTW FHB, I thikn you'll find If you look carefully at my post i say FHB not FBH but in the intrest of fair play i wont take TLW back on those grounds. I'll just shoot you now and take by force.

*shoots FHB in the kneecaps with a FN P-90 and runs off with TLW*

[SeaBee]

Having spotted the cheating heart that is CW ( I also saw the FBH) shoot the food provider that is FHB, SB goes red mist and attacks.


AAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!!!!!!

*SNARL!!! FOAM!!! FROTH!!!*

Under the vicious attack CW drops the gun, which SB eats, and TLW, which SB grabs.
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

[Crazedwraith]

luckily in the few moments he had TLW, CW nish'ta-ed it and gave it a zat, thus TLW is CW's fanatical servant, TLW zats SB and returns to its rightful lord and God CW.

[Bagpuss]

Only for Tok'Ra FHB to electronically zap CW and TLW with Carter's old ear gadgets (from the Seth Ep ;) ).Just slunk up and popped 'em in,then zatted CW.

FHB pockets the suddenly docile TLW,leaves CW a "Things not to try on slinky SG1 fans" Manual and a Strawberry pie,and sets off on her merry way again.
With the Zat gun just in case of attack from other TLW predators!

FH Bagpuss is getting nasty again.
Ggrrrrrrr!

[DJFavorite]

As FHB is traveling on her merry way, she comes across DJF. They greet each other happily, as it has been a week or two since they last visited. They sit down and chat and as FHB is distracted in conversation, DJF sneaks TLW. They say their goodbyes and head off for another adventure (down different roads....)

[Bagpuss]

FHB is really happy to have met up again with DJF!(Ah,TLP memories..Wow!What a marathon and so much fun!! :D )

After a few minutes,lost in fond remembrance,FHB's TLW Absence Monitor(T.M) starts bleeping.OMG! DJF swiped the TLW! Again. :eek:

Trundling off after DJF,at top speed,(NOT pretty :( ),FHB eventually catches up with DJF.Zats her, reclaims TLW and scoots away ..feeling v. guilty for rendering DJF comatose by the roadside.........still she might cheer up when she wakes up to find a small pile of Antsy Cup-Cakes by her side! :D

[DJFavorite]

Yummmmmmm, those cupcakes were great!!! And oh the memories (btw, we missed you at the end, FHB).

After DJF finishes eating and has tons of energy (ants do that you know ;) ) she tracks down FHB (who's scooter has broken down).

DJF give FHB a stern lecture about zating others and takes TLW as punishment. DJF then takes off as fast as she can run........

[Bagpuss]

FHB isn't too worried about the scooter as it was "Acquired" anyway.FHB is worried about TLW,though as it's way past the little dear's bed time......still,
she still has the tracking device,so away she goes again!

Attracted by the crabby bawling of TLW, FHB arrives to find DJF about to go bananas at the racket!

FHB already knows TLW's little bad habits so she volunteers to calm things down. Breaking out the Bailey's, FHB doses the "Lush" (!) TLW and noticing that DJF seems to have relaxed,as soon as the noise stopped,FHB quietly tiptoes off into the night with the TLW in tow. ;)
.............................................................................

*Afraid I missed the "End" of TLP on Delphi as our comp decided to crash.Got it repaired and safely back on May 8.What a pain! However,I've gone back to the old forum to read all the stuff I missed and had great fun ! At least Tame
got the real Last Post as a consolation for missing # 1000 .Drat the "Sly-Boy" BCM! :D :D :D**

[TameFarrar]

*Afraid I missed the "End" of TLP on Delphi as our comp decided to crash.Got it repaired and safely back on May 8.What a pain! However,I've gone back to the old forum to read all the stuff I missed and had great fun ! At least Tame
got the real Last Post as a consolation for missing # 1000 .Drat the "Sly-Boy" BCM! **
Just popping in to *THANK YOU* for noticing that My Friend....nursing a headache myself...so leaving TLW in your capable hands....although I will be swiping one of those cupcakes....kind of got hooked on those :D Glad you are back and the comp is hale and healthy!!!

[Norlioness]

Just popping in to *THANK YOU* for noticing that My Friend....nursing a headache myself...so leaving TLW in your capable hands....although I will be swiping one of those cupcakes....kind of got hooked on those :D Glad you are back and the comp is hale and healthy!!!
Hope your headache disappears soon. *hands Tame a cup of soothing peach herb tea*. In the meantime, I'm off to grab TLW.

[Norlioness]

FHB isn't too worried about the scooter as it was "Acquired" anyway.FHB is worried about TLW,though as it's way past the little dear's bed time......still,
she still has the tracking device,so away she goes again!

Attracted by the crabby bawling of TLW, FHB arrives to find DJF about to go bananas at the racket!

FHB already knows TLW's little bad habits so she volunteers to calm things down. Breaking out the Bailey's, FHB doses the "Lush" (!) TLW and noticing that DJF seems to have relaxed,as soon as the noise stopped,FHB quietly tiptoes off into the night with the TLW in tow. ;)
Tsk! NL looms in front of FHB and TLW, and with arms akimbo, scolded FHB for dosing TLW with Baileys, and lectured her on the evils of alcohol overindulgence. FHB realizes she shouldn't antagonize a bigger cat than her, quickly relinquishes TLW to NL. NL receives TLW and stalks off with TLW for some hazelnut coffee.

[TameFarrar]

Hope your headache disappears soon. *hands Tame a cup of soothing peach herb tea*. In the meantime, I'm off to grab TLW.
Thank you...am feeling a bit better...ant cupcakes and Peach herbal Tea...latest in headache remedy...mmmmmm
I will be after TLW I am sure by tomorrow
Fair warning to you all

[bcmilco]

Tsk! NL looms in front of FHB and TLW, and with arms akimbo, scolded FHB for dosing TLW with Baileys, and lectured her on the evils of alcohol overindulgence. FHB realizes she shouldn't antagonize a bigger cat than her, quickly relinquishes TLW to NL. NL receives TLW and stalks off with TLW for some hazelnut coffee.

Behind the counter is BCM he makes the hazelnut coffee to prefection. As NL takes a sip BCM says "that'll be TLW and 50 cents" So enraptured by the taste of the drink NL hands over TLW... NL sits to enjoy her coffee, and BCM leaves through the back door. =P

[Champos]

Only to trip over Champos' outstretched leg - you guys are really going to have to start looking where you're going! Champos strikes BCM several times in the back of the head (just in the interest of making sure you don't follow me) and hurries off with TLW, taking care to look where he's going.

[Norlioness]

Behind the counter is BCM he makes the hazelnut coffee to prefection. As NL takes a sip ...
Mmmmmm... this is excellent hazelnut coffee.... *takes another slurp and sighs contentedly*

[Norlioness]

Only to trip over Champos' outstretched leg - you guys are really going to have to start looking where you're going! Champos strikes BCM several times in the back of the head (just in the interest of making sure you don't follow me) and hurries off with TLW, taking care to look where he's going.
NL finishes her lovely coffee and realizes that TLW is missing. Sees BCM lying on the floor with huge bumps on his head and sees Champos sneaking off. Checks to make sure that BCM is still breathing. Poor BCM, he's going to having one honking headache when he wakes up. Maybe I should take BCM to the House of Healing. Nah! no time. *puts icepack on BCM's head instead* then.....

NL runs (with Cheetah-like speed) after Champos and pounces on Champos' back. Champos takes a tumble and drops TLW. NL catches the falling TLW and together, they sprinted away to hide in ..... yes, Disneyland.

[Champos]

Champos picks himself up off the ground just in time to see where NL is heading. Realises that NL's biggest weakness is (obviously) a mad love-obsession with Mickey Mouse, Champos enters Disneyland and wanders around until he finds an actor dressed in a Mickey costume. After corrupting the poor kid's innocence with promises of alcohol and naked women, Champos leads him to a less crowded area and knocks him unconscious before stealing his costume. Note: the kid was wearing Mickey boxers as well but Champos wisely decided to leave those. Now completely unrecognsibale, Champos quickly tracks NL down and offers a hug. Whlst NL is thus distracted, Champos reaches into her back pocket and steals TLW, before telling NL he really must get back to Minnie and running off. Ha!

[Bagpuss]

Trouble with disguises is that you never know who ELSE might be wearing one!

Poor Champos,giggling in triumphal glee,decides to actually try his chances with Minnie(!). Sadly for his libido,FHB was inside Minnie's Cossie,having tracked fearsome NL to chance stealing back TLW.

FHB thwacks "Mickey" with her "Handbag Full Of Rocks" (Tm) as payment for his cheek.She recognises Champos' scream from previous encounters on the TLW trail! Poor Champos screams again after FHB removes her Minnie Head-Piece......clearly he wasn't THAT desperate!! :eek: Champos then faints clean away.....

After checking Champos' state,FHB rescues TLW and makes a very speedy getaway.Carefully.Expecting savage retribution.Buying TLW a very large ice-cream to shut her up....don't care if I look daft in my Disney cossie.Heels are a Pain though! ;) Note to self:get my Turquoise D.M.'s on ASAP. :cool:

[SEREN LWCH (MAL)]

[QUOTE=F.H.BAGPUSS]Trouble with disguises is that you never know who ELSE might be wearing one!

True! MAL Shakes off her diguises as FH and dashes off. Wonder how long it will take FH to relise that i was disguised as her :p

[Bagpuss]

FHB still knows who is the REAL FHB! And which is the Real TLW!
Cunning and v.inventive MAL may be, but she can't fool Baggie for long. ;)

Therefore I claim TLW ! :p

Actually in honour of The Last Post Thread,and MAL's inspiring Team Leadership,FHB gives her back the TLW and a huge Truckload of Virtual Choccies.((((((((((((MAL)))))))))))))) :D

Catch ya later MAL!!

[Crazedwraith]

So MAL has TLW?
Not for long! MAL is surrounded by ewoks! Unable to go any where MAL has to surrender TLW to CW for her Freedom. Which CW retunrs nicely giftwrapped (arn't i considerate) So MAL has her FREEDOM and CW has TLW.

Laughing madly with glee CW and about a dozen elite commando ewoks are beamed to a random place on the globe. Well away for any TLW hunters.

[DJFavorite]

DJF darts in quickly, swipes TLW and heads off to the school to hide TLW amongst the children.

[Bagpuss]

Trouble is, cunning FHB just strolls into the school as "Bagpuss", and captivates the staff and kids so much ,with her "Regal Bagginess" (TM),that they willingly GIVE FHB the TLW.

In return for their help,FHB lets the Mouseboys loose to sing their cheeky little hearts out,with a selection of modern classics.

What do you mean Eminem wasn't "Appropriate"!!! :p

[Norlioness]

Attracted by the sound of singing, NL approaches the group of saucy-mouthed mice. NL kindly asks the mice where FHB went and they readily point the way that FHB took.

NL finds FHB easily, since TLW left a nice cookie crumb trail, cookies that TLW swiped from the school kids. Tsk! NL casually walks by and puts down a saucer of milk. Tempted, FHBagpuss pauses to drink. NL quickly grabs TLW and together they run towards the pond for a relaxing swim.

[Bagpuss]

Bah! Treacherous little gits,trust the "Mouseboys" to squeak loud and proud at the first chance they got to play Stool-Pigeon!

Oh well,back to the TLW trail.FHB is frankly a bit of a coward,so has no intention of confronting NL directly.Little cartoon cats really don't have the edge in fighting Lions,do they?

FHB simply waits until NL and TLW finish their little pond- frolicking session.
Then nicks TLW while NL is busy getting dressed,then lollops merrily away,as fast as her natural laziness will allow.........

Note to self:Next time offer the Mice some of the snacks too.Cupboard Love may make them a little more protective of my Baggie butt.LOL!(They do look good in their teeny SG BDU's though.Everyone say "Aaah!.) :D

[Champos]

NL and TLW both dive in, only to discover that the pond they were hoping to have a nice swim in is actually a mirage. Beneath the mirage there is an experimental WWIII (you only THINK it hasn't happened yet!) POW holding facility which locks them both in individual holding cells. Champos has been tracking them both and realises that they're locked in the holding facility. He bypasses the highly advanced security system and frees TLW (sorry NL, you'll have to stay where you are for the moment). The two of them run off together into the sunset.

[Crazedwraith]

Champos looks curoisly at the sunset seen as his watch says its mid-day, He'sa so confused that when CW pops out the sunset hologram and steals TLW he doesn't react, by the time Champos has relaised he no longer has TLW CW is far far far away, comoftably sipping Dr Pepper with his brainwashed servant: TLW (and several dozen ewoks but no one cares about them)

[SEREN LWCH (MAL)]

Champos looks curoisly at the sunset seen as his watch says its mid-day, He'sa so confused that when CW pops out the sunset hologram and steals TLW he doesn't react, by the time Champos has relaised he no longer has TLW CW is far far far away, comoftably sipping Dr Pepper with his brainwashed servant: TLW (and several dozen ewoks but no one cares about them)

CR gets so comfortable drinking DR PEPPER that he misses MAL, coming up behind him she casually takes TLW off him. Thanks CW.

[Crazedwraith]

Unfortunatly for MAL, TL was enjoying his Dr Pepper and MAL split it when she grabbed him, he gets out his Zat and shoots MAL, then he fulfils his first brainwashed in proiotity and ambles back to CW, who grins hand hands him another Glass.

[Bagpuss]

Oh Yeah? FHB is on the warpath!
No-one bothered to read Post #182.
TLW was mine.And still should be! :mad: :mad: :mad: :eek:
FHB is shocked at the way TLW is being "MAL"-treated. ;)
Even more shocked at CW's Brainwashing techniques. :eek:

Go Figure! :p :p :p
.......................................

Edited for the sheer fun of it.....

[Matt G]

This sounds like a laugh!
*scout ship cruises by CW's O'Neill*
*inside scout ship Matt G is hacking into the O'Neill's computer systems*
*shields shut down and ship's computer gives Matt location of TLW*
*TLW is ringed into Matt's ship along with empty glass*
*Matt applies electrodes to TLW - knocking him/her/it unconcsious but that is the price of undoing CW's brainwashing*
*scout ship cruises off into hyperspace*

[Norlioness]

Bah! Treacherous little gits,trust the "Mouseboys" to squeak loud and proud at the first chance they got to play Stool-Pigeon!

Oh well,back to the TLW trail.FHB is frankly a bit of a coward,so has no intention of confronting NL directly.Little cartoon cats really don't have the edge in fighting Lions,do they?

FHB simply waits until NL and TLW finish their little pond- frolicking session.
Then nicks TLW while NL is busy getting dressed,then lollops merrily away,as fast as her natural laziness will allow.........

Note to self:Next time offer the Mice some of the snacks too.Cupboard Love may make them a little more protective of my Baggie butt.LOL!(They do look good in their teeny SG BDU's though.Everyone say "Aaah!.) :D

Aaah! (for the cutie mice)

*NL runs out, half-dressed and still missing her shoes as she hears TLW cries*

Sorry, Champos - you missed TLW by 4 minutes.
So, everyone - ie. Champos, CW, Mal and Matt - you are chasing a shadow TLW.

The real TLW is still with FHB. Her Bagness took off with TLW whilst I was getting dressed. So, the hunt is on for FHB and TLW. Ooops! NL hurries back to the bathroom to finish dressing when she notices people staring.

[Norlioness]

Oh Yeah? FHB is on the warpath!
No-one bothered to read Post #182.
TLW was mine.And still should be! :mad: :mad: :mad: :eek:
FHb is shocked at the way TLW is being "MAL"-treated. ;)
Even more shocked at CW's Brainwashing techniques. :eek:

Go Figure! :p :p :p

There, there - I did tell them their mistake *comforting FHB and gives her a nice piece of coffee cake*. While FHB calms down and eats her treat, NL steals TLW and runs off.

(Gee, I can't believe all 3 of us posted within 1 min. of each other)

[Bagpuss]

FHB thanks NL for her observation skills, and passes over a nice, fluffy, pink bathrobe and towels ,to help Her Royal Leoniness get herself all nice again!!

:D :D :D

[Matt G]

Matt watches TLW fade into nothingness. On a hunch heads for Earth and runs a TLW scan. TLW is spotted and NL is soon falling over backwards in astonishment as TLW is mini-ringed out of her hands

[Bagpuss]

There, there - I did tell them their mistake *comforting FHB and gives her a nice piece of coffee cake*. While FHB calms down and eats her treat, NL steals TLW and runs off.

(Gee, I can't believe all 3 of us posted within 1 min. of each other)

These things happen! :D Thanks for setting 'em right..."angry" attitude gone now.Takes too much energy!

Many thanks for the cake....my favourite kind too.

Oh Cr##! TLW has gone.. :o *shrugs*.

Will *munch * catch *scronf* up* slurp*with you later! :D

[Crazedwraith]

Matt watches TLW fade into nothingness. On a hunch heads for Earth and runs a TLW scan. TLW is spotted and NL is soon falling over backwards in astonishment as TLW is mini-ringed out of her hands


As TLW's particle beam travels towards matt's ship and great shape zooms in the way it CW's O'Neill which an asgaurd transporter/ring device cosswired beaming device to intercept TLW beofre it arrives on matt's ship and instead it materielises on CW's bridge, wear it is given drgged Dr [e[[er to make it totally loyal to CW.

[Bagpuss]

Matt watches TLW fade into nothingness. On a hunch heads for Earth and runs a TLW scan. TLW is spotted and NL is soon falling over backwards in astonishment as TLW is mini-ringed out of her hands

OK, MG,Ya gonna suffer! FHB is fed and vengeful (I'm part cat after all!).

FHB uses her TLW tracking device to trace MG and TLW. MG can only watch in horror and amazement, as TLW is beamed straight back to FHB!! :p :D

[Crazedwraith]

OK, MG,Ya gonna suffer! FHB is fed and vengeful (I'm part cat after all!).

FHB uses her TLW tracking device to trace MG and TLW. MG can only watch in horror and amazement, as TLW is beamed straight back to FHB!! :p :D
Sorry i got there first. You must have a transporter duplicate or sumthing trekish like that.

[Bagpuss]

As TLW's particle beam travels towards matt's ship and great shape zooms in the way it CW's O'Neill which an asgaurd transporter/ring device cosswired beaming device to intercept TLW beofre it arrives on matt's ship and instead it materielises on CW's bridge, wear it is given drgged Dr [e[[er to make it totally loyal to CW.

Read it and weep CW! As stated before ,FHB's TLW tracker can track and return TLW any time, and from anywhere!

Having beamed back Matt's TLW ,FHB now does the same ugly trick to CW! :p :D

FHB now has 2 TLW's .Checks which is the real one and sends the paler copy off to be de-toxed and returned to MAL.(It was one of her stray copies!! :p )

[Matt G]

Matt fires a mini pulse beam which knocks out FHB's TLW tracker and mini-rings TLW out, accsesses the computer on CW's ship once more so as to send it into the Pacific ocean and hyperspaces out of town.

[Bagpuss]

Still have the Real TLW...and it's been at least 3 mins!

MWahahahah.........Sorry Matt no deal! TLW is too happy with me! :D

[Matt G]

Check again - I grapped TLW at 8:37 GMT

[Norlioness]

FHB thanks NL for her observation skills, and passes over a nice, fluffy, pink bathrobe and towels ,to help Her Royal Leoniness get herself all nice again!!

:D :D :D

Ooooooh! Lovely! Thanks FHB :) *NL snuggles into the thick fluffy bathrobe*

Here's something for you too. *hands FHB a tiny bag of cotton stuffing* That should take care of some of your bagginess and help you run a tad faster. :D

[Bagpuss]

Matt fires a mini pulse beam which knocks out FHB's TLW tracker and mini-rings TLW out, accsesses the computer on CW's ship once more so as to send it into the Pacific ocean and hyperspaces out of town.

Oh go on then! FHB can't abide cheating on a fellow hunter, so we're off again! :o (Cheating by FHB won't happen again till the next time!) :D

Go Matt!

[Bagpuss]

Ooooooh! Lovely! Thanks FHB :) *NL snuggles into the thick fluffy bathrobe*

Here's something for you too. *hands FHB a tiny bag of cotton stuffing* That should take care of some of your bagginess and help you run a tad faster. :D

Thank you v. much NL! FHB has now "Got Stuffed"...Doesn't have quite the ring to it I'd expected! :o

If you'd like a nice confusing chase, try Matt G for a while. Darn guy's a fast typer!

Glad you like the Bathrobe btw .See you and the other Nutters.. oops! Um,Posters once I've limbered up a bit!

[DJFavorite]

DJF walks up to Matt and swipes TLW from his hand and scolds him for confusing FHB and warns him not to do it again.


DJF takes off before Matt can attempt to take TLW again.

[Norlioness]

*preening* Beautifully attired now, NL sees that DJF has TLW. Prancing up to DJF, NL quickly grabs TLW and skips away. Destination: Middle Earth

[Crazedwraith]

CW just having overrided his O'Neill auot pilot, purges his computer and adds the latest addidtion of norman anti hacker meaning any external user cannot accesses the O'Neill's systems.

The he beams in front of Nor, remmebering no ones bothered to de programme TLW since the last time he had CW says in a clear voice "Yup-Yup" which unlocks TLW secret programming, TLW then uses a zatarc weapon to shoot Nor in the leg and then beams itse'f and CW back to the O'neill, which jumps into hyperspace destination: unknown.

[Matt G]

Matt sees CW's ship pull out of nose dive and tracks it to destination before heading to another planet and settling down.

In the meantime CW is passing by the first planet's Stargate. TLW is in his back pocket. Chevrons start to lock. After the Kawoosh a grenade comes through the Stargate. CW turns and runs like the wind and TLW flies out of his pocket.

Out steps Matt - holding his nose against the smell of the other stuff CW has left behind.

Wormhole disengages, Matt picks up TLW and dials an address. CW realises what's going on and rushes back only to trip up on his own brown stuff just as wormhole disengages and Matt and TLW are safely on the other side.

[Norlioness]

CW says in a clear voice "Yup-Yup" which unlocks TLW secret programming, TLW then uses a zatarc weapon to shoot Nor in the leg

NL is stunned with disbelief that TLW would shoot her in the leg. Quickly NL does a quick medical scan with her special "All-Purpose-Can-Do" locket(TM) and determining that it's only a small wound, NL limps to a stargate in Middle Earth. Ow, ow, ow, ow.

A while ago, whilst tracking TLW, NL had found and picked up Matt's little black journal along the trail. Whoooeeee! Inte-r-e-s-ting reading. NL quickly punches the symbols that Matt has foolishly noted in his book and marked "Matt's Secret Hide-out - taking TLW there".

Arriving, NL quickly spots Matt. As she gets closer, she hears loud singing and soon realizes they are singing bawdy drinking songs. NL limps up to them, gives Matt a *smack* and takes TLW away. Hrrrmph!

NL, with TLW tucked safely in her jacket, quickly gates to another planet. Then leaving a false trail on the said planet for Matt or any TLW hunters to follow, NL re-gates to Earth with TLW to seek out Dr. Fraiser to fix her leg. Ow!

[Matt G]

Matt gates to planet NL went to and soon detects false trail and returns to planet with scoutship and returns to Earth on another hunch. Detects TLW in SGC and opens haling frequency.

"I need to speak to NorLioness. It's about TLW."

A few mins later Matt is given permission to land near Cheyenne mountain - blaggs his way past the guards and spots NL getting bandaged up by Frasier.

"Allright?"

"Cool - so what's this about TLW"

"You need to do this to free TLW from CW's brainwashing"*applies electrodes, knocking TLW unconscouss*
*backpockets TLW before bowling it out of the infirmary*

[Norlioness]

NL tested her leg and although it's bandaged, it's limber (thanks to painkillers). Thanks, Doc. (((((Janet))))) Gotta run, Matt's pocketed TLW and taken off.

Racing (cheetah-like again), NL catches up with Matt in no time at all. NL stealthily pulls the unconscious LW out of Matt's backpocket and replaces it with a dud "lw" filled with water and it's slowly leaking. Hehehe! Unsuspecting, Matt continues on his journey while NL goes off into the west with the now reviving LW.

[Champos]

Ah, NL may have thought she was going off into the west, but that's only because Champos had sabotaged her compass. She is in fact heading East, looking at the map rather than in front of her and is just about to step off a large cliff she hasn't seen. Five, four, three, two... oh, there she goes. Luckily Champos is on hand to pick up TLW as she falls past and, feeling generous, he throws a parachute down after her. It's too late of course and she hits the ground with a sickening thud, but at least he made the effort. His conscience clear, Champos runs off with TLW.

[Bagpuss]

FHB has been following the trail of the TLW in "Stealth Mode" (Tm).Easy-Peasy for all those of the Feline persuasion!!

FHB sees the horrific way Champos dealt with with NL and decides Champos has gone a bit sadistic in his desperation for TLW. ;)

FHB goes into "Nasty Baggie" Mode and rips Champos' clothing apart,in between socking him with her best Sucker Punches!

When Champos has been sufficiently dealt with,FHB snatches TLW and warns Champos not to try following or he'll get really mauled .

Champos,you have been warned! It'll be the Mice next time!Best ya get some new clothing too.

FHB collects what's left(!) of poor Norlioness and takes her to the Nox.Lya and the guys will soon heal NL and protect FHB and TLW!! :p

Bye-eee! :D

[Champos]

"See, you're making it out like I'm a bad guy, but really I'm not all that bad. I didn't necessarily WANT for NL to walk off a cliff and fall sixty-off feet before landing on the rocks below with a sickening thud, it just happened. At the end of the day, accidents happen. I say that we all just calm down and agree to let by-gones be by-gones."

To try to hold on to one's dignity whilst saying a speech like that can be difficult at the best of times, and to so whilst wearing only torn scraps of clothing (you need to get your nails cut - you scratched me!) it is nigh on impossible. However, it did serve the purpose of putting FHB off-guard, and whilst she is distracted by the sight of his body, Champos grabs TLW and runs off, naked as the day he was born (quite liberating actually), knowing that FHB won't be able to follow until she has got NL to the Nox.

[Champos]

Ha!!!!!!!!!!! I have held TLW for almost two hours and I hold it still!!!!!!!!!!

I am a GOD!!!!!!!!

[Bagpuss]

ROTFLMFBO-Translation:"Rolling on the floor, laughing my Furry Butt Off"! :D

FHB has long since taken NL to the Nox ,for revival and healing.Trouble is ,Lya and Co didn't like what FHB did to you (!!)and lobbed me back through the Stargate! :o

Afraid I'm back Champos.The Faerie Folk didn't think much of my Feline plans to hunt the Fenri. Pity.I'd have enjoyed the chance at a nice new exotic snack to try!

Having had her cheap laughs at Champos' naturist tendencies(Nice,v.nice ;)),
FHB offers the dear,God complexed.........and FREEZING Champos, some fresh "Ethnic" Nox clothing to 1) Warm him up and 2) Spare him the rather bawdy comments other TLW hunters are bound to come up with.( :eek:)

While Champos dresses(At last!),FHB nicks back TLW and goes on her merry way!

Oh,one more thing.Lya might want her dress and other Noxie clothes back later!! ;)

[Crazedwraith]

Walks up to FHB says "Yup-yup" to TLW and confirms his long held beleive that electrode zappig doesn't nothing against the drugged Dr Pepper method of brainwashing TLW promtly shoot FHB in the arm this time and runs back to his lord, master and GOD crazedwraith, who smilies at the wounded form Of FHB and zats her as a mercy.

[Bagpuss]

Walks up to FHB says "Yup-yup" to TLW and confirms his long held beleive that electrode zappig doesn't nothing against the drugged Dr Pepper method of brainwashing TLW promtly shoot FHB in the arm this time and runs back to his lord, master and GOD crazedwraith, who smilies at the wounded form Of FHB and zats her as a mercy.
................................................................................ .....
Tough luck you Ewok- obsessed,fellow Star Wars fan !
In your delusional state you and TLW only used Intars,so you only stunned me! :p

Just as well, as Murder is not something to take lightly, and we're ALL getting violent in our desperation for TLW!! :eek:

FHB recovers from her daze,and runs CW down, with a borrowed Lawnmower.
After checking out his new haircut(!) and checking that CW is going to survive ,FHB runs away with TLW to buy the little much-abused Darling a nice little snack! :p

[Matt G]

Now back in his Scout ship and in orbit Matt G realises that what he thought was TLW has now ruined his jeans. After popping home for new jeans and some cans of Fosters(explanation later) he scans for TLW once again.

Ringing down to join TLW and FHB he requests permission to try out his idea for counteracting the Dr Pepper(feed TLW Fosters) permission granted Matt rings back to his ship and hyperspace's out of the area after dumping some Fosters down TLW's throat.

[Crazedwraith]

................................................................................ .....
Tough luck you Ewok- obsessed,fellow Star Wars fan !
In your delusional state you and TLW only used Intars,so you only stunned me! :p

Just as well, as Murder is not something to take lightly, and we're ALL getting violent in our desperation for TLW!! :eek:

FHB recovers from her daze,and runs CW down, with a borrowed Lawnmower.
After checking out his new haircut(!) and checking that CW is going to survive ,FHB runs away with TLW to buy the little much-abused Darling a nice little snack! :p

I didn't murder you! My faithful servant, TLW shoot you in the arm with a za'tarc laser beam and i zatted you unconsioucs to spare you the pain.

Thus CW sues FHB for liable and false claims of attempt murder and would have been awarded TLW, but FHB no longer has it so CW is given a million pounds in damgements, this CW uses to simply buy TLW off Matt.

I have TLW.

Muahahahahahahahhahaa

[Matt G]

£1000000! *wolf whistles*Matt uses 50 grand to get tickets to all of next year's Grand Prix complete with classy hotels. 10 grand for as many Man Unuited and England matches as that will cover , 300 grand to set up younger member of family for a good while. 140 grand to various charities...400 grand for properties in Munich, New York, San Francisco Tokyo and Sydney.

And the remaining £100000 will be used to hire informants from all over Earth and the galaxy as to the location of TLW! I'm not out of the game yet.;)

[Bagpuss]

I didn't murder you! My faithful servant, TLW shoot you in the arm with a za'tarc laser beam and i zatted you unconsioucs to spare you the pain.

Thus CW sues FHB for liable and false claims of attempt murder and would have been awarded TLW, but FHB no longer has it so CW is given a million pounds in damgements, this CW uses to simply buy TLW off Matt.

I have TLW.

Muahahahahahahahhahaa
.............................................................................
Silly CW wasn't actually accused of "Murder"!!LOL!!

Suing FHB? OK,I quite like your reasoning, so no problem with you winning.

Only snag is my crooked lawyers paid you with forged notes,so Matt is still the legal owner at present of TLW!
(Don't even think of suing me over the forgeries.Not my responsibility.Truly!)

As CW and Matt argue with their legal teams,TLW quietly sneaks back to FHB and off we go again!!

[Bagpuss]

£1000000! *wolf whistles*Matt uses 50 grand to get tickets to all of next year's Grand Prix complete with classy hotels. 10 grand for as many Man Unuited and England matches as that will cover , 300 grand to set up younger member of family for a good while. 140 grand to various charities...400 grand for properties in Munich, New York, San Francisco Tokyo and Sydney.

And the remaining £100000 will be used to hire informants from all over Earth and the galaxy as to the location of TLW! I'm not out of the game yet.;)

Look Harder at your currency! :eek:

[Crazedwraith]

And yet TLW still hasn't been de-programmed, CW's actives TLW's covert return programming. It waits until FHB finally sleeps and heavily sedates the feline, he also soaks FHB on booze so whwn she wakes up with TLW gone she meerly thinks her ownship of it was just a drunken fanatisy.

Meanwhile TLW is back with CW in hos evil-genius' lair enjoying ice-colde dr pepper and roast stormtrooper legs.

[Matt G]

Crap!

[Matt G]

Matt G heads to Munich to stock up on the local booze then takes his scoutship to Hebredia where his local contact doesn't know that the currency is fake.

His contact being a scientist he also aquires a drug that is garunteed to counter the Dr Pepper if the Munich beer doesn't work. Matt find Cw, zats him and dumps Munich beer down TLW's throat. After taking his scoutship into orbit TLW also consumes the drug which knocks out the brainwashing once and for all.

[Crazedwraith]

onfortunatly it also activates TLW failsafe which fdetontates an EMP, leaving Matt G defenses as CW's massive O'Neill stroles along and beams off TLW, then it zipps off to the end of the universe to sip some tea.

[Matt G]

Matt G takes a while to repair ship.

[Bagpuss]

While Matt repairs his ship,and CW is still busy gloating over his re-taking of TLW,FHB beams TLW safely back to Earth using her latest Asgard/Nox based tech gadget.

TLW is delighted to be free of CW's Brain washing influence,(Actually the little tart has suddenly developed a crush on Matt G : The little Hussy!)

In a fit of sheer nuisance value,FHB lets loose the latest tech weapons she acquired from the Nox and turns all CW's Ewoks into Pixies and Matt into a Care Bear!! :D

Ha! Stitch that guys! I have the TLW and now can do weird things to you lot too. :p

[Norlioness]

NL wakes up, fully healed in NoxCity. Oooooh, that Champos! NL remembers catching a glimpse of his smirk as he threw the parachute after her as she's falling over the cliff.

NL remembers FHB fondly too since it was her actions that saved NL’s butt.

NL thanks Lya and the Nox for taking care of her and gates back to Earth. NL tracks TLW’s trail and comes across Champos, nattily dressed in one of Lya’s pink flowing dresses. *muffled giggles* Alright back to serious business here. Remembering Champos’ “generosity”, NL bounds up to Champos with a false smile, and gives him a loud *THWACK* with the salvaged parachute.

After a day of tracking, NL spots FHB. Runs up to FHB and gives her a huge slobbering kiss and (((((BAGPUSS))))). Purring contentedly, NL listens to all that’s transpired and shakes her head at the antics and audacity of the other TLW hunters. Tonight, NL is happy to leave TLW with FHB, but come tomorrow or if someone nabs TLW, the hunt is on.

Cheesecake, FH? I have some lovely Cheesecake topped with banana foster flambe sauce and a dollop of whipped cream. Mmmmm....

[Bagpuss]

WOW!!Cheesecake with extra goodies on top!!! YUM! *GRONF*

This is hopefully not toxic in any way NL? I trust you but not certain "others" on the trail!*MUNCH*

GRrreat Cheesecake (((((((((((((((NL))))))))))))))) ! :D

Thanks NL! TLW is all tucked up fast asleep and I've given her a lovely Teddy Bear to hug as a comforter....Poor little TLW,she's been through some real traumas because of those nasty "Chasers".At least she's off the CW induced brainwashing and off the booze too.Much healthier! ;)

I'll keep TLW safe and sound for now,and we can get back to business tomorrow........See ya Soon NL. :D
P.S. V.Nice THWACK on Champos,he had it coming! Glad the Nox healed your THWACK capabilities, NL, and that you're back to normal fight strength. :cool:

[Champos]

Champos is hurt by all this negative aggression, actualy quite painfully hurt sinc NL thwacked him quite hard. Since putting on the Nox ouotfit, Champos has reformed and has come to realise that this mindless pursuit of TLW is destroying the hunters' humanity (felinity in the case of FHB) and is bad for the soul. He persuades the other hunters to seek pyschiatric counselling to try to put aside their negative energy.
Except that..... Champos hasn't really reformed of course, it was all a trick to steal back what is rightfully his. You should know by now never to trust a Scotsman. While the others are all tied up in therapy (Matt was literally tied up since he has some major issues to work out!!), Champos steals TLW and runs off. He is truly a God!!!!!

Ps. Champos isn't actually Scottish, it's just you shouldn't trust a Scotsman is all.

[bcmilco]

A Scotsman who heard Champos' last remark jumps out from behind a building...

*thwap*

Ouch, that looked painful. :S

BCM who's been laying low for the last few days to lull you all into a sense of security (hehehe :p) leaps out from behind another building and steals TLW.

BCM carefully, yet quickly, makes his way out of the city and to safty =P

[Champos]

[Quote] BCM carefully, yet quickly, makes his way out of the city and to safty =P [Quote]

Except that when he reaches "safty", Champos is there waiting for him, nursing a fairly painful headache, wanting to apologise for his heartless and offensive words. He does so, and he and BCM chat for a while. Champos bought along a bottle of Glenmorangie (quality whiskey) and two six-packs of Carling (quality beer) (you never know what a Scotsman going to want), plus some for himself of course, and the two of them sit and drink and share stories. The thing is that Champos has spent the night sipping on Kaliber (the things I do for my country and TLW) so by the time BCM (never trust a Scotsman to hold his drink) passes out, Champos is still sober. He stands, takes TLW from BCM's limp grip and replaces it with a handwritten aplogy for the terrible things he said and for stealing TLW, then quietly leaves.

[SeaBee]

But not quietly enough!

SeaBee has once again donned his "Handsome Stranger, Super Spy" outfit and, using his "Super Sensitive Creeping Champos Detector" (Tm) easily tracks Him and TLW.

SB hides behind a large tree and as Champos creeps past....

THWAP

clouts him with the "Super Hard Champos Pacifier" (Tm)

SeaBee then takes TLW and exits, stage left.

[Bagpuss]

Sheesh! What's with all the Champos-Whumping,folks?
I mean,where's the finesse in just Thwapping the poor guy?
And what effect will all this violence have on poor little TLW?

For the answers to all the above,FHB has no idea!!

Back to hunting mode.
FHB tracks SB easily,does he really need the whoops of joy? Not to mention the fact that he resembles a "Budget Hamburgler" in his special outfit....

Anyway,SB is apprehended by FHB:

FHB:Have you got a licence for that TLW,Sir?
SB: Er ,um,well,no!
FHB:In that case,Sir,please hand it over.
SB:No way!
FHB:Oh well Sir,have it your way!

FHB then pulls out an industrial mega wrench(The one she borrowed long ago from Siler!) and Thwap! SB goes down in a heap.

FHB then calmly pockets TLW and wanders off,twirling her wrench.

If FHB can't beat 'em,she'll join 'em! :(

That one was for poor Champos anyway! :D

[Crazedwraith]

CW is in a very bad mood, his Ewoks turned into pixies. So he had to turn them off his ship. Do you know how hard it is to find good ewok help?? I had to go all the way back the forest moon of endor to get more. Do you have any idea how long and boring the trip the forest moon of endor is in an O'Neill. B y the time he gets back to earth CW is extremely annoyed to find his fellow TLW hunters sink in to crudes they have lost all finess. Cw loses it ehn he ses the once respected FHB *thwap* someone over the head with a wrench and beams down about a dozen flash-bang grenades and knocks FHB unconious, he then beams an ewok down who retreives TLW and takes it back To CW.

[Crazedwraith]

I've had TLW for around five hours now. I rock!!!

See i have it: THE LAST WORD!

Muahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahha!

[Bagpuss]

LOL!! But I'm a bit worried too.

Apparently FHB has been "Thwapping someone (SB) over the head with a wench"....WENCH!!!!!! :eek:

I'm not that kind of girl/cat/eternal glutton/D### nuisance!!!!!!!!!! :eek:

However,FHB is basically a nice, kind ,(OK not SWEET!!,but you know what I mean!) type of TLW-Hunter..........

While CW has been reading all this ,his "Ewok" has seized the chance to beam away with TLW (It was FHB in disguise. :p )

FHB has TLW ! And indigestion.You may need to restock your food supplies,or
give up food while you chase TLW.Been snacking while you stood guard! ;)

[Crazedwraith]

Luckily CW knew FHB was disguised as an ewok, (ewoks don't play with ball's of woll, your feline Baginess) And in fact didn't entrust the FHB ewok disguise with TLW but But rather a mouse-flavoured toffu fake TLW, which FHB relases much latter when she relises TLW smells like food.

Thus FHB has a fake TLW made from Toffu and CW still has TLW.

[Bagpuss]

And a furious FHB back on board his ship!! Not wise of CW...cats got claws! :eek:

Sparing any readers the horrible details....FHB ties CW up with her Giant Ball of Steel Wool (TM),sets the Mouseboys onto CW's Ewok buddies with teeny little Staff Weapons and lets them slug it out....even Charlie and the guys enjoy a good bundle!!

Once CW and his Furry Fiends(yes "Fiends"!) have been suitably punished,
FHB and her mice fly CW's ship into a Goa'uld minefield area in space, and beam off,clutching the Real TLW.We checked! :p

[Crazedwraith]

In a moment of heroism worthy of Zap Brannigran, CW sacrifices his ship and all but one of his ewoks, to beam himself and one red-shirted ewok to FHB.

All her minions fire on CW and all hit the poor red-shirted ewoks. Then CW saftely encased in a goa'uld hand deivce shield (Modified so one can morve with it on) walks up to FHB, zats her three times and takes TLW. He then pulls out a mini-gun and mows down all her minions. then he runs off before the police arrive.

EDIT: Hey page 13, lucky for some.

[Bagpuss]

EDIT: Hey page 13, lucky for some.

But not for CW!! :p

CW fell for the good old "Attack and Destroy The Holographic Image, Plot Contrivance" (TM)!!!

LOOK OUT CW!!!! Oops,too late,FHB has already grabbed TLW and Beamed CW to a "Galaxy,Far Far Away"!!! :D

Sorry about the Red Shirt Ewok,btw.Must get my Mouseboys to use some restraint in future........! :eek:

[Crazedwraith]

But not for CW!! :p

CW fell for the good old "Attack and Destroy The Holographic Image, Plot Contrivance" (TM)!!!

LOOK OUT CW!!!! Oops,too late,FHB has already grabbed TLW and Beamed CW to a "Galaxy,Far Far Away"!!! :D

Sorry about the Red Shirt Ewok,btw.Must get my Mouseboys to use some restraint in future........! :eek:

No problem about the red-shirt ewok, it was entire purpose in being beamed down. :D

And thanx for beaming to endor, I needed sum new help since you killed all my ewoks and destroyed my ship.

After hiring sum ewoks CW, buys that new-fangle space station in orbit around endor. What was its name again? Deep Star? Dark Star? OH WAIT!?

It the DEATH STAR!

Muahahahahahhahahha!

CW improves the DS II's hyper drive with the replicator and goes the asgard homeworld at ask them to improve the DS II with asgard teleporters and other useful Stargate Tech, in retrurn he blows up their homeworld (to destroy the reps before they could get out of the time bubble of course)

He then hyperdrives to where FHB is and she is so intimdates by the death star that she hands TLW (the real, i checked!) over.

[Bagpuss]

Very,very good !
Sadly,for CW, Charlie went on a solo mission and niftily filched TLW,and brought her back to me, while you were busy admiring your handiwork and cunning! :p

Charlie told me exactly how he did all this, but I lost interest in his story, as FHB and the Mouseboys were more concerned with G.T.H.O.O.C.W. range!
(Getting The Heck Out Of C.W.'s range,btw,as translation is good.(Speed is better,though!) ;)

Anyway,Charlie gave me TLW so :p!

[Crazedwraith]

CW cruises to eath and plays them all indepedance day, they are rightly scared. The he shows the what he can do by blowing up mars and then the moon. Thus the queen of england politely asks FHB to give TLW and in a fit of patriotism (despite the fact FHB's is properly no british) she gives up TLW to sdave earth. CW raises sheilds and makes sure no mice people are aboard before gloating.

Where are the TLW hunters? it seems to just be me and FHB at the moment? :(

[TameFarrar]

Tame being totally confused by what movie she has stepped into.....is this Star Wars...Star Trek...or Star Gate......hands FH Bagpuss her popcorn and chocolate covered raisins....stalks out of the theatre and bows to the Queen....not really sure why as Tame is an American but she was raised to show respect....and then calmly takes TLW from CW and explains to TLW that she is taking it BACK where it belongs to the land of the SGC. As this is Star Gate regulation TLW. sheesh

[Crazedwraith]

Tame being totally confused by what movie she has stepped into.....is this Star Wars...Star Trek...or Star Gate......hands FH Bagpuss her popcorn and chocolate covered raisins....stalks out of the theatre and bows to the Queen....not really sure why as Tame is an American but she was raised to show respect....and then calmly takes TLW from CW and explains to TLW that she is taking it BACK where it belongs to the land of the SGC. As this is Star Gate regulation TLW. sheesh
And with that one logical statement my DSII goes poof in a cloud of logic. My ewok servant don't go becuase veryone knows the furlings are really ewoks.
CWand his ewoks hit the ground with a thump and a ratrher annoyed at not have a death star any more, burst in to the theater zats Tame (I assume I'm *ALLOWED* to have zats? :mad: :mad: :mad: ) and graps TLW, he then legs it leaving his ewok henchmen behind to ambush anyone who attempts to follow.

[Bagpuss]

CW cruises to eath and plays them all indepedance day, they are rightly scared. The he shows the what he can do by blowing up mars and then the moon. Thus the queen of england politely asks FHB to give TLW and in a fit of patriotism (despite the fact FHB's is properly no british) she gives up TLW to sdave earth. CW raises sheilds and makes sure no mice people are aboard before gloating.

Where are the TLW hunters? it seems to just be me and FHB at the moment? :(

WOW!! "INDEPENDENCE DAY" Great Film!!!! :D
Oh,NOT the Film,then? Oops! :o Oh Dear the Queen wants me to give up TLW? And CW thinks I would....OH Boy .........I AM British,I just have an attitude problem!
May I point out that QE2 is Queen and Head of State of ALL Britain,not just Ye Olde England! :p
Because of this CW misconception,FHB sends her Ultimate Weapon of Last Resort! ;)

Introducing "Sammy The Wonder Mouse".You're in for it now,Folks! :D
Sammy is ,in fact, the Brainiest Mouse to ever exist.She models herself closely on Samantha Carter, but the only "Ship" Sammy will admit to, is a long standing love of Prometheus! ;)

Ignoring poor Charlie's desperate efforts, Sammy sets about her mission!

Within a short time,she returns to FHB with TLW.....No idea how, as this Mouse is so smart, even her Technobabble makes the REAL Sam Carter sound like a beginner! :D


TO ALL TLW HUNTERS: WHATCHA DOIN'?????

[TameFarrar]

TO ALL TLW HUNTERS: WHATCHA DOIN'?????
Well I for one was giving you food and taking TLW from CW BEFORE you :p
But CW has taken it back.. in some strange fashion asI was no longer IN the theatre...but such are things.....I will reply to CW to right such a grievous wrong

[Bagpuss]

Well I for one was giving you food and taking TLW from CW BEFORE you :p

Got it back again! :D

Didn't specify who I got it FROM! ;)