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View Full Version : Things you would not want to hear over your Radio (SG-1)



Pharaoh Atem
July 19th, 2006, 11:39 AM
OK your a member of a SG team and you are on a alien world

what is the some of the things you would not what to hear come over your radio from a fellow team members

must be Stargate SG-1:)

Syera
July 19th, 2006, 11:41 AM
"Seems the natives have invited us to a party. You guys stay back there and keep guard."

Lokii
July 19th, 2006, 12:00 PM
Carter: Um Sir I got nothing, you'll have to figure out how to save our butts this time.

gatebuster64
July 19th, 2006, 12:43 PM
Jack: the british are coming. the british are coming. everybody grab your zats

The Prophet
July 19th, 2006, 12:58 PM
'Hey, where'd the gate go?!'

'What'd'you mean this isn't Earth?!'

'Who am I again?'

'Why is the Ground turning to Lava?'

'Is that a Blackhole?!

'Hey, I'm a Robot!'

'What'd'you mean you wont convert to Origin?!'

'Wait... Is 100% Carbon Dioxide Atmospehere bad for us?'

'Woops...'

'Teal'c! Don't!... You wouldn't!... No!!!! Arghhhhhhh! *crazzle*... ... ...*Teal'c & Daniel Burst out laughing*'

sueKay
July 19th, 2006, 01:00 PM
"Teal'c...put the master control crystal down..."

*smash*

Pharaoh Atem
July 19th, 2006, 01:10 PM
Jack hey Daniel there is some guy standing with me he has white and a bad skin condition and he is trying to convert me to something called.......what did you call it again

Prior origin

Daniel starts yelling at jack on the radio is getting drowned out from jack still talking

Jack ahh origin that's it ..... it sounds promising he wants me to follow him

Commander Jumper
July 19th, 2006, 03:55 PM
Jack: Daniel there is this really shiny button with big red words near it....it's looks alien
Daniel: what does it say
Jack: Looks like....El peligro este botón matará a toda la vida en el universo.
Daniel: don't touch it it says it will deystroy all life in the universe
Jack: too late
Sam: what
Jack: looks like we have ten seconds before er all die
Sam: WHAT?
Jack: nine
Sam&Dan: I love you Jack
Jack: you've soo been punk'd

Elles
July 19th, 2006, 05:25 PM
Jack: Daniel there is this really shiny button with big red words near it....it's looks alien
Daniel: what does it say
Jack: Looks like....El peligro este botón matará a toda la vida en el universo.
Daniel: don't touch it it says it will deystroy all life in the universe
Jack: too late
Sam: what
Jack: looks like we have ten seconds before er all die
Sam: WHAT?
Jack: nine
Sam&Dan: I love you Jack
Jack: you've soo been punk'd
:lol:
Jack: But wait... what's this?!? It says "Éste es el botón de el cual hace que el universo de South Park choca con nuestro universo."
Daniel: Jack, do you honestly beleive I'll think that there's a button that says it'll make the universe of South Park collide with ours?
Jack: Well if you're so sure...

**five seconds later**
SG-1 is standing at a bus stop
Hammond: Hello there children!
SG-1: Hi chef!
Sam: Chef, Jack says that visitors came to him last night and stuck something up his nose...
Daniel: Woah! Why'd we just call General Hammond chef?
Jack: Because you didn't tell me not to press the button!
*hoard of angry bulls stampedes through and kills Daniel*
Sam: Oh my God! They killed Daniel!
Teal'c: You Kuiperoids!

Major Gambit
July 19th, 2006, 08:39 PM
Jack: The planets about to blow up
Sam: Flaming pop tarts are attacking the village!!
Daniel: I'm a zombie and im coming to eat your brain!
Teal'c: Funny thing, i am actaully made out of yogurt

Commander Jumper
July 19th, 2006, 09:08 PM
Jack: is Daniel's head supposed to be removable???

Sam: Is Jack's brain supposed to seep out his ear???? Wait that's blood...never mind

Jack: I think Daniel's dead...what do you think
Teal'c:his eyes are not covered in x marrks and his tongue is not hanging out his mouth.......he connot be dead.
Sam: that's it Teal'c we're taking Cartoon Network off your cable package.

2ndgenerationalteran
July 20th, 2006, 01:02 AM
daniel: apparently hell is rising out of the ground, and demons are running about catching civilians and putting them through eternal torture. ooh and there a calvary of angels and they are fighting the demons! AND THE ARCH ANGEL HAS BEEN CAPTURED AND PULLED INTO THE ABYSS! there are bright flashes of lights and *heavenly voices sing a chorus* JESUS IS BACK AND HAS PULLED THE ARCH ANGEL OUT!
Jack: so dial back in 30 minutes?

Commander Jumper
July 20th, 2006, 01:10 AM
:daniel:: am I supposed to be seeing green aligators and long necked geese???

2ndgenerationalteran
July 20th, 2006, 03:07 AM
Daniel: the tablet is a ori parable
Jack: well read it we're listening
Danie: Long long ago in a galaxy far far away, there was a young man who was an orphan taken in by his aunt and uncle. he went by the name of luke skywalker. and his humble home was on a planet called Tatooine...
Sam: bad idea daniel *jack screaming with joy in the background*

Lokii
July 20th, 2006, 04:14 AM
Sam: Sir I think it would be wise if we took up their offer of spending the night

Jack: Well that depends, did you bring your special overnight bag?

Sam: Uh my what sir?

Jack: You know our special bag...

Daniel: Excuse me do you guys know this is an OPEN frequency?

Teal'c: That matters not Daniel Jackson, please continue O'Neill. Inquiring minds want to know, what is the special bag?

Col. Shadow Quinn
July 20th, 2006, 04:49 AM
Felger: I had sex with Emerson's wife last night.
*Odyssey comes to Felgers and starts firing at him. Felger starts running away faster than the Odyssey, Odysssey gives chase.*
Me: Uhhhh
SG-1: Uhhhhh
Hammond: Walter, marry me.
Everybody: It's the end of the world, RUN AWAY!

Commander Jumper
July 20th, 2006, 03:16 PM
:jack: :Carter!!!! what should I do if I'm being surrounded by beautiful native women who happen to be cannibals???
:sam: : SIR!!!!do you need my help???
:jack: :No I'm good Carter..........but when they decide to eat me.......feel free to step in at any time....preferably before the eating part.....

Elles
July 25th, 2006, 01:21 PM
Jack: is Daniel's head supposed to be removable???

Sam: Is Jack's brain supposed to seep out his ear???? Wait that's blood...never mind

Jack: I think Daniel's dead...what do you think
Teal'c:his eyes are not covered in x marrks and his tongue is not hanging out his mouth.......he connot be dead.
Sam: that's it Teal'c we're taking Cartoon Network off your cable package.
:lol:
Daniel: Hey cool! It's a cuddly little yellow-brown pokemon with red cheeks. Let's check the pokedex...
Ash Ketchum: Pikachu! Use thundershock!
*sizzling sounds*
Carter: Oh my god! Ash killed Daniel!
Teal'c: You b***ard!

gatebuster64
July 25th, 2006, 01:26 PM
Jack: get back to the gate, we're under fire!
what Daniel hears on his radio: ok, that'll be two fries, a chili cheese dog, and one kee-lime slushy. your total is $5.99

Commander Jumper
July 25th, 2006, 02:38 PM
:lol:
Daniel: Hey cool! It's a cuddly little yellow-brown pokemon with red cheeks. Let's check the pokedex...
Ash Ketchum: Pikachu! Use thundershock!
*sizzling sounds*
Carter: Oh my god! Ash killed Daniel!
Teal'c: You b***ard!

*Giggles* :lol:

:tealc:: MY DREAM HAS COME TRUE!!!! Ash can I aquire you Name in this book???
Ash: Sure Teal'c!!!! if I can have your Autograph
:tealc: :Indeed

:sam::Guys I think Teal'c got into Kelso's weed stash
Kelso: Dang!!! I knew I shouldn't have left it in Daniel's napsack

:daniel: :Jack I think Sam got drugged
Dora The Explorer: where are we going
Boots: to the Stargate
Dora: Where are we going???
Boots: to the Stargate
Dora: where are we going???
Boots and Dora: Toooo the Stargate!!! Yeah!!

:cameron:: Jack I think they're all on drugs
:vala:: Hey sexy
:cameron:: I know I am

:jack:: Yup they're stoned!!! Look a purple Elephant

Colonel Sharp
July 25th, 2006, 03:57 PM
Jack: Whats that noise?

Daniel: #@!$ #$!@ !$#*!!! Run for your lives!!! ITS A GIANT MARSHMELLOW MAN!!!

Linkinparkgundam
July 25th, 2006, 03:59 PM
Teal'c: Col. O'Niell, do you know what my favorite time of the day is?
Jack: No I don't. What is Teal'c?
Teal'c: FOOD TIME!
Jack: Foodtime?
Teal'c *in a Caboose voice*: Yes! Foodtime! And then Naptime! Then FOODNAPTIME!
Sam: Yes, you team killing a$$bite!
Daniel: Oh, look! Can you see the Friey death that I will rain down on the unsuspecting poeple of this planet! MUHAHAHAHA!
Jack:Team killing a$$bite? What the-
Daniel/O'Mally: Yes! Vengence and Volience to all HAHAHAHA!
Teal'c: Yep, Foodtime!
Sam: shut up Jack, no one likes you.
Jack: *in a Caboose voice* I like me.


If you have seen Red vs.Blue. Then you know all about Foodnaptime, and O'Mally

Pharaoh Atem
July 25th, 2006, 07:26 PM
Sam: Sir I think it would be wise if we took up their offer of spending the night

Jack: Well that depends, did you bring your special overnight bag?

Sam: Uh my what sir?

Jack: You know our special bag...

Daniel: Excuse me do you guys know this is an OPEN frequency?

Teal'c: That matters not Daniel Jackson, please continue O'Neill. Inquiring minds want to know, what is the special bag?
Buhahahahahahahahah:lol: :P

Elles
July 25th, 2006, 08:51 PM
*sound of house dropping*
Jack: Hey guys... I've stumbled across Munchkin Land and there's this Wicked Witch that's really pissed off at me. Can someone come help?
Daniel: Jack, we talked about stopping the Wizard of Oz references.
Wicked Witch: You took my ruby slippers! You deserve to be smitted! *smites Jack*
Jack: Ahhhhh!

Commander Jumper
July 25th, 2006, 08:54 PM
*sound of house dropping*
Jack: Hey guys... I've stumbled across Munchkin Land and there's this Wicked Witch that's really pissed off at me. Can someone come help?
Daniel: Jack, we talked about stopping the Wizard of Oz references.
Wicked Witch: You took my ruby slippers! You deserve to be smitted! *smites Jack*
Jack: Ahhhhh!
*giggles*

Pharaoh Atem
July 25th, 2006, 09:00 PM
Daniel - so now that jack is not longer here what do you say

Sam- excuse me

teal'c- Daniel jackson i thought we discussed this already

Mitchell- hey hands off my girl

vala -Daniel after everything that happen last night

radios go silent

vala- what???

Daniel- take your hand off the button

hear a little giggle

Elles
July 25th, 2006, 09:13 PM
Cameron: Damn it Daniel! There are regulations against this for a reason!
Daniel: And since were you one to follow regulations?
Cameron: Since Vala and I...
Daniel: ... Cam?

Lilith
July 26th, 2006, 06:01 PM
random cow: MOO!!!!!
Daniel: Help!! I'm being attacked by a rabid cow!!!
random girl: I'll save you!!
Daniel: Crap!! Now I'm being chased by a freakin female hercules who wants to get in my pants!!!
Jack: Who doesn't?
Daniel: What?
Jack: Get in your pants. Who doesn't want to get into your pants?
Daniel: Well if you don't hurry up, you won't be getting inot them anytime soon!!
Sam: Uh Sir? Is there something we should know?

Jumper One
July 26th, 2006, 06:15 PM
My first post in two weeks! :D
It really isn't a spoiler... but just to be safe...

*Jack going offworld after not having done so in a long time*

Sam: Sir, we have incoming! Dial Earth!
Jack: Um...here's the thing....I..umm...
Sam: Sir?
Jack: I forgot Earth's address, okay?! I didn't want to say anything...

pong
July 31st, 2006, 05:30 PM
Daniel : Okay Teal'c, it is your turn, since you're eager to do it.
Teal'c : Very well... stand back and take cover (fixes karaoke mike) If you want my body, and you think I'm sexy, come on baby let me know...
Daniel : Um.. I think you gotta stick with the radio.

jazz!
August 1st, 2006, 10:23 AM
Daniel: Can you guys hear me?

Carter: Uh- yea!?

Cam: Very faint, tho - is your radio finally out of power?

Daniel: No; it's just my hand, holding the radio, is quite far from my mouth :(

:S :S :S

Elles
August 1st, 2006, 10:35 AM
Daniel: Uh guys... when a bunch of Ewoks have you tied to a stick and under a burning fire... what's going on?
Jack: It means they're having a barbeque... which means they have beer!
*SG-1 storms to the ecampment to get drunk leaving Daniel to burn*

full.infinity
August 1st, 2006, 12:56 PM
My first post in two weeks! :D
It really isn't a spoiler... but just to be safe...

*Jack going offworld after not having done so in a long time*

Sam: Sir, we have incoming! Dial Earth!
Jack: Um...here's the thing....I..umm...
Sam: Sir?
Jack: I forgot Earth's address, okay?! I didn't want to say anything...
That sounds so much like Jack. :D:jack:

Pharaoh Atem
August 1st, 2006, 02:46 PM
My first post in two weeks! :D
It really isn't a spoiler... but just to be safe...

*Jack going offworld after not having done so in a long time*

Sam: Sir, we have incoming! Dial Earth!
Jack: Um...here's the thing....I..umm...
Sam: Sir?
Jack: I forgot Earth's address, okay?! I didn't want to say anything...
:lol:

Lilith
August 5th, 2006, 06:44 PM
Daniel: Uh guys... I don't want to alarm you, but the sun seems to be expanding....
(radio silence)
Daniel: Uh guys?? (walks to gate) Dagnabit!! they left me again!!!

Linkinparkgundam
August 5th, 2006, 11:15 PM
Daniel: Marco
Cameron: Polo
Jack: Polo
Daniel: Marco
Cameron: Polo
Jack: Polo
Daniel: Marco
Cameron: Polo
Jack: Polo
-30 minuters later and now within 8 feet of each other-
Daniel: Marco
Cameron: Polo
Jack: Polo


Teal'c -who is next to Sam and Vala-: What is the meaning to this game Col. Carter?
Sam: The meaning of the is it like "tag", but you have to use sound to find the other poeple. But this game is usally played in a swimming pool...
Vala: A pool? Are the players scantly clad in swim suits...
Teal'c -arching a eyebrow-: But they are not in a swimming pool.
Sam: I know...
Vala: But what are they in?
Sam- smiles- A pool full of Jello.
Vala: Jello?
Sam: Yep.
Vala -thinking about jumping into the pool-: Why?
Teal'c -looking at Vala-: I believe that DanielJackson, Gen O'Neill, and Col. Mitchell lost a bet.
Vala: A bet? With who?
Sam -still smiling-: Me.

-still in the jello with their radios, scantly clad-
Daniel: Marco
Cameron: Polo
Jack: Polo

Elles
August 5th, 2006, 11:22 PM
Daniel: Marco
Cameron: Polo
Jack: Polo
Daniel: Marco
Cameron: Polo
Jack: Polo
Daniel: Marco
Cameron: Polo
Jack: Polo
-30 minuters later and now within 8 feet of each other-
Daniel: Marco
Cameron: Polo
Jack: Polo


Teal'c -who is next to Sam and Vala-: What is the meaning to this game Col. Carter?
Sam: The meaning of the is it like "tag", but you have to use sound to find the other poeple. But this game is usally played in a swimming pool...
Vala: A pool? Are the players scantly clad in swim suits...
Teal'c -arching a eyebrow-: But they are not in a swimming pool.
Sam: I know...
Vala: But what are they in?
Sam- smiles- A pool full of Jello.
Vala: Jello?
Sam: Yep.
Vala -thinking about jumping into the pool-: Why?
Teal'c -looking at Vala-: I believe that DanielJackson, Gen O'Neill, and Col. Mitchell lost a bet.
Vala: A bet? With who?
Sam -still smiling-: Me.

-still in the jello with their radios, scantly clad-
Daniel: Marco
Cameron: Polo
Jack: Polo

:lol: Creative and funny. Good for you!

jmouse
August 5th, 2006, 11:44 PM
"Teal'c...put the master control crystal down..."

*smash*
what... a six month hiatus??! what means this? I haven't heard anything about it... is the cast planning to take an unbearably extended break, leaving us with nothing but reruns to last on? Don't get me wrong, those are good, but... you know, nothing's quite as COOL as new material on Fridays ^_^

Elles
August 5th, 2006, 11:50 PM
Walter: Your attention please... Oprah is coming to the SGC to conduct interviews on all personnel... Starting with O'Neill.
O'Neill: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

jmouse
August 5th, 2006, 11:57 PM
Daniel: Marco
Cameron: Polo
Jack: Polo
Daniel: Marco
Cameron: Polo
Jack: Polo
Daniel: Marco
Cameron: Polo
Jack: Polo
-30 minuters later and now within 8 feet of each other-
Daniel: Marco
Cameron: Polo
Jack: Polo


Teal'c -who is next to Sam and Vala-: What is the meaning to this game Col. Carter?
Sam: The meaning of the is it like "tag", but you have to use sound to find the other poeple. But this game is usally played in a swimming pool...
Vala: A pool? Are the players scantly clad in swim suits...
Teal'c -arching a eyebrow-: But they are not in a swimming pool.
Sam: I know...
Vala: But what are they in?
Sam- smiles- A pool full of Jello.
Vala: Jello?
Sam: Yep.
Vala -thinking about jumping into the pool-: Why?
Teal'c -looking at Vala-: I believe that DanielJackson, Gen O'Neill, and Col. Mitchell lost a bet.
Vala: A bet? With who?
Sam -still smiling-: Me.

-still in the jello with their radios, scantly clad-
Daniel: Marco
Cameron: Polo
Jack: Polo

Oh my god, that has got to be the best one I've seen yet. That's hilarious! I read a fanfic once where SG-1 and Dr. Fraisure lost a bet with Teal'c, and, well... they all ended up wearing Star Trek suits. It was great. Teal's and Carter both apparently have amazing blackmail abilities. ^_^

Lilith
August 6th, 2006, 02:40 PM
Unscheduled Off-World Activation
Walter: It's SG-1, recieving a radio signal.
Landry: Put it on Speaker.
transmision: MOO!!!

Commander Jumper
August 6th, 2006, 03:53 PM
Unscheduled Off-World Activation
Walter: It's SG-1, recieving a radio signal.
Landry: Put it on Speaker.
transmision: MOO!!!
Landry: open the iris.....I think it's Nerus

Lilith
August 6th, 2006, 05:49 PM
:lol:

*Nerus walks down ramp followed by Mitchell, Carter and Teal'c*
Landry: Where's Dr. Jackson?
Carter: We should probably check your office Sir.
Landry: My office?
Teal'c: I will procure his clothing.
Landry: What the hell happened?!
Mitchell: Sir, Nerus, thinking he was a giant pretzel stick, mauled Jackson to death. He then proceeded to ascend.
Carter: Last time he discended to then, General O'Neill's office.
Mitchell: Everytime Jackson descends, he tends to do so in the buff.
Landry: Which explains what Teal'c said. Why my office?
Carter: It's the logical place to start Sir.
Landry: Riight....

Lord Saradomin
August 6th, 2006, 05:57 PM
Tealc: Evvvvery rose has it thorns! just like evvverrry night has its dawn!
Daniel: hey lets sing some white snake together!

lol

Linkinparkgundam
August 6th, 2006, 07:43 PM
Landry: What the hell happened?!
Mitchell: Sir, Nerus, thinking he was a giant pretzel stick, mauled Jackson to death. He then proceeded to ascend.
Carter: Last time he discended to then, General O'Neill's office.
Mitchell: Everytime Jackson descends, he tends to do so in the buff.
Landry: Which explains what Teal'c said. Why my office?
Carter: It's the logical place to start Sir.
Landry: Riight....

LOL

Then the base slightly quakes because most of the women fainted because Daniel discended in the Mess....

Lilith
August 7th, 2006, 02:55 PM
LOL

Then the base slightly quakes because most of the women fainted because Daniel discended in the Mess.... :lol:

Daniel: Crap! Well my aim was off...
Carter: *as she enters comissary, followed by Mitchell* where were you aiming?
Daniel: Our locker room.
Mitchell: Damn! Your was off!
*Teal'c enters commisary*: DanielJackson, I have procured your clothing.
Daniel: Thanks T.

Commander Jumper
August 7th, 2006, 03:36 PM
LOL

Then the base slightly quakes because most of the women fainted because Daniel discended in the Mess....

Me *standing in Landy's office* where is he??? *feels quake*
*runs to commissary*
*Daniel is already dressed*
Me: Darn it!!! You're already dressed

Elles
August 7th, 2006, 11:26 PM
*chuckle*
Me: Oh sorry... you wanted him still like that? If I'd known I wouldn't have dressed him... but he asked so nicely...

Commander Jumper
August 7th, 2006, 11:28 PM
well all I have to do is swing by the "oh my God they Killed Daniel" thread...then I can see :D

Elles
August 7th, 2006, 11:31 PM
*giggle*

Commander Jumper
August 7th, 2006, 11:35 PM
*Drooooooooooool* just thinking about him :D I wonder if the same works for Rodney and Shep?

Elles
August 7th, 2006, 11:37 PM
See... this is exactly why Shep called animal control... All this drooling and you're going to give rabies to us all...

Commander Jumper
August 7th, 2006, 11:44 PM
yeah that's the plan:D

Linkinparkgundam
August 8th, 2006, 03:28 PM
*Drooooooooooool* just thinking about him :D I wonder if the same works for Rodney and Shep?

Please stop.... I don't want to drown in your slobber.

Commander Jumper
August 8th, 2006, 08:53 PM
But drowning is fun :D

Lilith
August 12th, 2006, 07:27 PM
anyone one of us actually broadcasting on SG-1's radio frequency....

Pharaoh Atem
March 26th, 2007, 06:34 PM
Mitchell- sam we have encounter a race of fury highly evolved aliens we are going back to there village

sam- ok whats there name??

Mitchell- the furlings

sam are you serious.

Mitchell ya there cute little things

all of a sudden you hear growing and bones crushing sounds

Furling we are sick of people assuming we are cute and cuddly that is why we left your galaxy and if you don't leave you will be next.

Amanda_Tapping_Fan
March 26th, 2007, 06:40 PM
O'neill: Ops

Pharaoh Atem
January 6th, 2008, 11:08 AM
:sam:Sir i see something on the horizon ...:jack:..what is it carter.....

:sam:it looks like OMG.. :jack:.carter what

:sam:It's to priors skinny dipping

:daniel: disturbing :tealc: indeed.

:vala: well at least their blind