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Pharaoh Atem
May 21st, 2006, 04:02 PM
things you would not want to hear on the SGC's intercom

just 1 rule has to be silly ;)

Jumper One
May 21st, 2006, 04:11 PM
-Mess to Surface: "We're all out of Jello!" :P

- "Self destruct in five...four....three...two...one...." :)

Major Gambit
May 21st, 2006, 04:41 PM
Attention everybody, we have an emergancy, my foot is asleep. I repete, my foot is asleep, this is not a drill!

Oranos
May 21st, 2006, 06:00 PM
(Insert name here), please report to the infirmary.

_WraithQueen_
May 21st, 2006, 06:25 PM
taking inspiration from ^

(insert name here), please report to the main entrance. Your mother is here. She says you forgot your lunch

Allestian
May 22nd, 2006, 03:39 AM
"So I took Thor the asgard and his mates out for a couple of drinks and he crashed the fleet ship into a planet. No chance for us when the Ori arrive..."

:D

Morgania
May 22nd, 2006, 11:22 AM
Last person to the Gate Room has to babysit Siler for 24 hours.

*massive stampide*

Oranos
May 22nd, 2006, 03:39 PM
Umm, sorry, we've left your name off the Alpha Site list.

Major Gambit
May 22nd, 2006, 04:08 PM
"Hey Sally, man your hot. i just want to take you and kiss you all over....wait is this thing on? damn!"

ReganX
May 22nd, 2006, 04:52 PM
Kinsey: Hi, this is Bob. I just wanted to let you know that I am tickled pink about taking command of this fine facility. I'm sure we'll all get along great.

Kinsey: *fifteen seconds later* Due to budget cuts, it is my sad duty to announce that the following people have to be let go; Jack O'Neill...(loooong pause) That is all.

Jumper One
May 22nd, 2006, 05:04 PM
Kinsey: Hi, this is Bob. I just wanted to let you know that I am tickled pink about taking command of this fine facility. I'm sure we'll all get along great.

Kinsey: *fifteen seconds later* Due to budget cuts, it is my sad duty to announce that the following people have to be let go; Jack O'Neill...(loooong pause) That is all.

:lol:

Chutzpah
May 22nd, 2006, 10:47 PM
In the spirit of The Office

Landry: "I've got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is an infection is running through the base. In a short time most of you you should expect temporary paralysis and loss of bowl and bladder function. Unfortunatly no one will be able to help you, as it's very likely they will be suffering the same thing, and I don't want to go out and risk getting infected.

The good news is, I got a raise!

Your're all still thinking about the bad news aren't you? What I should have done is I should have told you the good news first!"

Pharaoh Atem
May 23rd, 2006, 05:43 AM
Walter Chevron 1 encoded Chevron 2 encoded Chevron 3 encoded Chevron 4 encoded Chevron 5 encoded chevon .......ummmmmmm damn i forgot what was after 5 ........Col carter help!!!!!!! http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f30/scarimor/walteranim.gif

ReganX
May 23rd, 2006, 09:13 AM
Landry: I just wanted to let you know that Colonel Carter has finally been persuaded to take a long overdue vacation and that, for the next month, all scientific problems will be handled by Dr Lee. I'm sure we'll manage just fine and I know... *rest of Landry's announcement drowned out by panicked screams*

jazz!
May 23rd, 2006, 09:28 AM
Landry: Todays soup of the day is 'Leek' - and in other news, Walter is organising a petition to do a bakesale in the gateroom

Naonak
May 23rd, 2006, 12:23 PM
Carter: Teal'c, for God's sake, what have I said about leaving the toilet seat up?!?!
(God knows why she's in the men's toilets, but whatever...)

Kindhoney
May 23rd, 2006, 05:21 PM
Will (insert name here) please report to the gate room, your mother left clean underwear for you.

Kindhoney
May 23rd, 2006, 05:26 PM
In the spirit of The Office

Landry: "I've got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is an infection is running through the base. In a short time most of you you should expect temporary paralysis and loss of bowl and bladder function. Unfortunatly no one will be able to help you, as it's very likely they will be suffering the same thing, and I don't want to go out and risk getting infected.

The good news is, I got a raise!

Your're all still thinking about the bad news aren't you? What I should have done is I should have told you the good news first!"

I know what's better that your raise, Gieco.

Ouroboros
May 31st, 2006, 04:35 PM
Hammond: Oh yeah, baby... oooohh yeah.... that's the way Daddy likes it..... ohhh yeah who's your daddy baby who's your...w.wait.... OH****!! *CLICK*.......................

.......................

.......................

.......................

Pharaoh Atem
May 31st, 2006, 04:38 PM
Hammond: Oh yeah, baby... oooohh yeah.... that's the way Daddy likes it..... ohhh yeah who's your daddy baby who's your...w.wait.... OH****!! *CLICK*.......................

.......................

.......................

.......................
LMAO!!!

Elles
May 31st, 2006, 04:59 PM
Daniel Jackson: Listen up people, this is important. My killer poodle, Fluffy, is loose on the base. Now there is no need to panic, but she is a killer poodle. Only I know how to get rid of her and if I die all of you most likely will also suffer long painful deaths. Ok? The secret of how to defeat Fluffy is- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Chelle DB
May 31st, 2006, 11:13 PM
Hammond: Oh yeah, baby... oooohh yeah.... that's the way Daddy likes it..... ohhh yeah who's your daddy baby who's your...w.wait.... OH****!! *CLICK*.......................

.......................

.......................

.......................


ROFLMAO!!!!b Excellent dude!!!:lol: :jack_new_anime07: :jack_new_anime07:

Chelle DB
May 31st, 2006, 11:14 PM
Kinsey: Hi, this is Bob. I just wanted to let you know that I am tickled pink about taking command of this fine facility. I'm sure we'll all get along great.

Kinsey: *fifteen seconds later* Due to budget cuts, it is my sad duty to announce that the following people have to be let go; Jack O'Neill...(loooong pause) That is all.


That is brilliant!! LOL!!! Well done.

Chelle DB
May 31st, 2006, 11:15 PM
"Daniel Jackson...hang that flag back up and get your clothes on!":D

Pharaoh Atem
June 1st, 2006, 06:10 AM
Landry: I just wanted to let you know that Colonel Carter has finally been persuaded to take a long overdue vacation and that, for the next month, all scientific problems will be handled by Dr Lee. I'm sure we'll manage just fine and I know... *rest of Landry's announcement drowned out by panicked screams* http://homepage.mac.com/adriannep1/.Pictures/ROTFLMAO.gif (javascript:openCurrentImage())
http://forum.gateworld.net/frame_rightbg.gif http://forum.gateworld.net/frame_botleftcorner.gif http://forum.gateworld.net/frame_botbg.gif http://forum.gateworld.net/frame_botrightcorner.gif

Pharaoh Atem
June 1st, 2006, 06:12 AM
Kinsey: Hi, this is Bob. I just wanted to let you know that I am tickled pink about taking command of this fine facility. I'm sure we'll all get along great.

Kinsey: *fifteen seconds later* Due to budget cuts, it is my sad duty to announce that the following people have to be let go; Jack O'Neill...(loooong pause) That is all.:lol: great

Anubis69
June 1st, 2006, 02:29 PM
Landry: Attention, this is General Landry, your General, with a message from the General's Office. Would the parents of a small albino boy with a white cloak and a staff please report to the embarkation room immediately... That is a...:prioranime01:

Also:

Landry: Attention. This is an emergency broadcast: All is well in the base. My authority as General is total.

Steal them from the Simpsons? I have no idea what you're talking about...

Lilith
June 2nd, 2006, 07:52 AM
Mdeical team to the briefing room. Mediacl team to the briefing room. The General has a splinter!

Kindhoney
June 2nd, 2006, 12:29 PM
:tealc:: Who's the Jaffa, who's the Jaffa?
Ishta: (Squealing in delight) You are big daddy!

ReganX
June 2nd, 2006, 12:36 PM
Sam: I quit!

Mac1131
June 2nd, 2006, 01:22 PM
Sam: Jack I love you and I can't live without you Marry me?

ReganX
June 2nd, 2006, 01:24 PM
Mitchell: I'll never quit. (Everyone at the SGC sobs, screams and wails in anguish)

Lilith
June 2nd, 2006, 02:21 PM
Daniel: I'm leaving and never coming back.
Walter: Well, there goes the planet.

Wraith Scientist
June 4th, 2006, 08:41 AM
Landry: I just wanted to let you know that Colonel Carter has finally been persuaded to take a long overdue vacation and that, for the next month, all scientific problems will be handled by Dr Lee. I'm sure we'll manage just fine and I know... *rest of Landry's announcement drowned out by panicked screams*

Landry: *following on from previous annoncement* Sorry, did I say Dr Lee? I meant Dr Felger ... *everyone bolts for the exits*

Landry: Hallowed are the Ori ... wait a second ... is this thing on?

Landry: Hey you, get back to hallowing the Ori

Darkside84
June 4th, 2006, 08:50 AM
Sam: I quit!:eek: there goes the planet

Darkside84
June 4th, 2006, 08:53 AM
Mitchell: I'll never quit. damn right go mitchell :cameron:

ejohnno
June 4th, 2006, 09:03 AM
Jack: ooo this red button is shiny *click* *over head sirens go off* *SELF DESTRUCT IN 5 SECONDS 5. 4. 3. 2. 1......................
..........................................
..........................................
..........................................*

Jack: That was just a drill Good Morning Campers!

keshya
June 4th, 2006, 02:49 PM
O'Neill: this is a message concerning the departure of Dr. Daniel Jackson. He was not only a brilliant scientist, but also a good friend, ...

after the speech

O'Neill: all right, I'm taking bets. I say he's back in two days, who says sooner?

_______


sam: Jack! I'm pregnant!

ReganX
June 4th, 2006, 02:53 PM
Hammond: Following the results of the latest physicals, Dr Jackson is now banned from consuming coffee of any kind. All personnel are hereby ordered to take the mug from him, by force if necessary, if he is seen to be drinking coffee.

Jumper One
June 4th, 2006, 04:06 PM
Landry: Well guys, bad news. The International Committee cut off all our funding. So, it looks like were gonna have to a have a bake sale. Walter, you make brownies, and I'll bring in sugar cookies.

Chutzpah
June 5th, 2006, 01:31 AM
General Landry: "SG-12, report to the breifing room please"

General Landry: "Now, where was I? So, many a Tequilla later were back at her house... anyway fast foward to this morning and I have this rash, see, it runs all the way up my inner thigh and onto my..."

Doctor: "Sir, should the red light still be on?"

General Landry: "Oh Sh.. *click*"

keshya
June 5th, 2006, 01:53 PM
Bow before your God!

ejohnno
June 5th, 2006, 02:00 PM
*thud* *thud* *thud*.............*thud*

Hammond: I SAID OPEN THE IRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lokii
June 6th, 2006, 05:17 AM
Attention: The mess hall is temporarily out of cake. Please do not panic, this is a temporary situation.

sgeureka
June 6th, 2006, 06:17 AM
"Stargate SG-1 is brought to you by the SciFi Channel."

Lokii
June 6th, 2006, 06:19 AM
"From 5pm to 7pm join us for the pants optional socail mixer in the level 28 mess hall"

Allestian
June 6th, 2006, 06:36 AM
'We have incoming. Reading IDC. It's Dr Felger and Dr Lee."
"Close the iris."

:D

(No offence to the characters)

Lokii
June 6th, 2006, 06:54 AM
"Col Carter to the Briefing room... Pete is here to see you"

Allestian
June 6th, 2006, 06:56 AM
"Col Carter to the Briefing room... Pete is here to see you"

LMAO!!!

*After hearing the intercom*
"General O'Neill? Where are you going with the P-90?"

:D

Lokii
June 6th, 2006, 07:15 AM
"Clean up teams to the briefing room..."

ejohnno
June 6th, 2006, 08:05 AM
Hammond: All SG Teams to the breifing room as every team is going off-world today
Daniel: But Sir it's the 6.6.06!
Hammond: I know! Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Lokii
June 6th, 2006, 08:19 AM
Attention: would the owner of a purple thong please come and claim your property in the briefing room..

ejohnno
June 6th, 2006, 08:26 AM
Hammond: Atention Personel would you please refrain from using the Janitors closet for personal use as if i have to buy another mop i will get very annoyed!

Lokii
June 6th, 2006, 09:31 AM
Airman Jones please call you wife, she needs you to stop at the drugstore for femine products.....

ejohnno
June 6th, 2006, 10:07 AM
Hammond: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...that's disgusting!!! *clears throught* would O'Neill please come to my office.

Allestian
June 6th, 2006, 10:17 AM
Sam: OMG!!! Daniel! Put it back on! Put it back on right now! Or else!!!! What are you doing with that??? Don't come near me with it...
*Notices red light*
Daniel: Do you think they know that we're on about the Ori device I just switched off???

:D

Lokii
June 6th, 2006, 10:38 AM
Hammond: Would the person responsible for stealing Teal'c's security blanket please see that it is returned immediately! He is getting quite cranky.

Allestian
June 6th, 2006, 10:40 AM
Hammond: Could the prson responsible for taping over Jack's Simpsons videos come to my office. Jack has a surprise for you.

*Jack stands in a corner and loads a rifle*

:D

Lokii
June 6th, 2006, 11:05 AM
"Shop Smart, Shop S Mart"

keshya
June 6th, 2006, 02:22 PM
Dr. Lee report to the briefing room.Your mom says you forgot your lunch money

ejohnno
June 6th, 2006, 02:34 PM
Mrs Jackson would you please come down to the SGC as Daniel has scrubbed his knee and wants his didums kissing all better.....damm...now where's the phone!?

keshya
June 6th, 2006, 02:41 PM
hellooooo!!! Can someone help me? I've fallen and I can't get up!

Kindhoney
June 6th, 2006, 02:59 PM
It saddens me to report we've lost a important member of SGC (Stargate Cafteria): Blue Jello.

ejohnno
June 6th, 2006, 03:04 PM
It saddens me to report we've lost a important member of SGC (Stargate Cafteria): Blue Jello.
*big cries Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooo*

Allestian
June 6th, 2006, 03:44 PM
"Yeah, the gate's not real. As they step through it we inject them with some dillusion emitter that makes them think they're on another planet. While really they're asleep in the inifirmary."

:D

Lokii
June 7th, 2006, 05:11 AM
"It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood,
A beautiful day for a neighbor.
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?...

It's a neighborly day in this beauty wood,
A neighborly day for a beauty.
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?...

I've always wanted to have a neighbor just like you.
I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.

So, let's make the most of this beautiful day.
Since we're together we might as well say:
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
Won't you be my neighbor?
Won't you please,
Won't you please?
Please won't you be my neighbor?"

Allestian
June 7th, 2006, 06:27 AM
The Atlantis theme tune.

What confusion there would be

:D

Lokii
June 7th, 2006, 06:54 AM
"Unauthorized off world activation. Security..... ah who cares....."

keshya
June 7th, 2006, 10:46 AM
... so give me a siiiiiiiign. Hit me baby one more time!

(for those who have taste: it's a britney spears song. I looked up the lyrics)

:D

Pharaoh Atem
June 7th, 2006, 10:55 AM
... so give me a siiiiiiiign. Hit me baby one more time!:D
i knew teal'c would break out of his shell someday

keshya
June 7th, 2006, 11:00 AM
lol :D :D :D

Lokii
June 7th, 2006, 11:42 AM
"Manicures and Pedicures will begin in 10 minutes in the briefing room"

Pharaoh Atem
June 7th, 2006, 11:52 AM
Prostration is in 2 hours someone makes sure jack attends this time

The Prophet
June 7th, 2006, 12:14 PM
"Attention, it has been brought to my attention that the intercom is down... wait a second... FELGER!"

"Frak That Cylon Helio!" :S

"Whispering from The Others" :S

"The Dharma Swan Station Alarm going off...." :S

"04 08 15 16 23 42 108" Over & over again.... :S

"Stargate... Noun.... A Device left behind by..."

"Attention, A n00b has just come through the Stargate! He is Dribbling on the General's Shoes!"

Lokii
June 7th, 2006, 12:37 PM
"Warning warp core breech in progress...."

Pharaoh Atem
June 7th, 2006, 01:18 PM
"Warning warp core breech in progress...."

.....where's col. carter when we need her someone get dr. lee.......bad idea

keshya
June 7th, 2006, 01:23 PM
all right, who painted the smiley on the iris?

Wraith Scientist
June 7th, 2006, 01:34 PM
Landry: Allright ... who put gum on the iris? You've jammed it all up now

Walter: UNSCHEDULED OFFWORLD ACTIVATION

Allestian
June 7th, 2006, 01:42 PM
"Oh you pretty chitty bang bang, pretty chitty bang bang we love you..."

*All of the high ranking personnel*

:D

ejohnno
June 7th, 2006, 01:51 PM
*I feel pretty, ohh soo pretty, I feel pretty and whitty and..............*

Allestian
June 7th, 2006, 01:56 PM
:lol:

"Do the okie kokie...do the okie kokie...do the okie kokie...knees bent, arms stretched..."

ejohnno
June 7th, 2006, 02:01 PM
:lol:

*it's just a jump to the left! And then a step to the riiiiiiiiiiight, put your hands on your hips! And bend your knees in tiiiiime, ooo, It's just the pelvic thrrrrrrrrust, That really drives you insaaaaaaaaaaaaaane. LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!!!! LETS DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!!!!* :D

Allestian
June 7th, 2006, 02:40 PM
This is one for the Blood Brothers fans.

"But you know that if you cross your fingers! And if you count from 1 to 10 you can get up off the ground again! Because you know that the whole thing's just a game!"

SG-1 singing it.

:D

dancer_4_daniel
June 7th, 2006, 03:02 PM
*Jack singing in his office*: Shake it, uh uh, shake it, Shake it like a polaroid picture Carter!

Allestian
June 7th, 2006, 03:07 PM
Hammond: I've just let Felger go through the gate on his own...

*All of the SGC run into the room and put a permanent iris on the gate*

ejohnno
June 7th, 2006, 03:20 PM
O'Neill: *I have just shaved all of Carter's hair off as she lost the big bet, you can laugh at her in the cafateria*
Carter: *O'Neill's hair is dyed bright pink as he lost the bet too! so laugh at him while he eats his blue jello!*

dancer_4_daniel
June 7th, 2006, 03:43 PM
Jacob: Samantha Elizabeth Carter, if I EVER catch you "shaking it like a polaroid picture" at Jack O'Neill again, you're going to be grounded until you're 99 years old and you can forget about going to that Tok'ra strip joint too!

ReganX
June 7th, 2006, 05:44 PM
Jacob: Samantha Elizabeth Carter, if I EVER catch you "shaking it like a polaroid picture" at Jack O'Neill again, you're going to be grounded until you're 99 years old and you can forget about going to that Tok'ra strip joint too!

Poor Sam!

dancer_4_daniel
June 7th, 2006, 07:19 PM
Poor Sam!

Oh don't worry about Sam...she'll be just fine...;)

Sam: Dad, don't make me tell everyone about what you did at General Hammond's bachelor party...
Jacob: GEORGE!!!!!!

Elles
June 7th, 2006, 07:44 PM
O'Neill: Damn it Carter, how many times have I told you not to leave your neurotic novels off world?!?
*************************
Yu-Gi-Oh: Hello, my name is Yu-Gi. I like pineapples and walking on the beach. I am your new commander. I assure you, I am completely qualified. I just need someone to tell me one thing, what is a Stargate?
*************************
O'Neill: Animal crackers in my soup. Monkeys and tigers loop-de-loop. Gosh oh gee oh me oh my, with animal crackers in my soup.

Lokii
June 8th, 2006, 05:08 AM
"We represent the lolly pop gang....."

keshya
June 8th, 2006, 05:41 AM
Everybodys doin a brand new dance now.
Come on baby, do the loco-motion.
I know youll get to like it if you give it a chance now.
Come on baby, do the loco-motion.
My little baby sister can do it with ease,
Its easier than learnin your abcs.
So, come on, come on, and do the loco-motion with me.

Youve got to swing your hips now,
Oooo ...
Come on,
Oooo ...
Come on.
Jump up,
Oooo ...
Jump up.
Jump back,
Oooo ...
Jump back.
Oh, well, I think youve got the knack.
Oooo ...

Woah ... woah.
Now that you can do it, well, lets make a chain now.
Come on baby, do the loco-motion.
A chuga-chuga motion like a railroad train, now.
Come on baby, do the loco-motion.
Do it nice and easy now, and dont lose control,
A little bit of rhythm and a lot of soul,
So, come on, come on, and do the loco-motion with me.

Woah ... woah.
Move around the floor in a loco-motion.
Come on baby, do the loco-motion.
Do it holdin hands ifn you get the notion.
Come on baby, do the loco-motion.
Theres never been a dance thats so easy to do,
It even makes you happy when youre feelin blue.
So, come on, come on, and do the loco-motion with me.
Come on baby, do the loco-motion.
So, come on, come on, and do the loco-motion with me.
Come on baby, do the loco-motion.
So, come on, come on, and do the loco-motion with me.

Come on baby, do the loco-motion.
Come on baby, do the loco-motion.
Come on baby, do the loco-motion.

Grand Funk Railroad › The Loco-motion

couldn't decide on a funny part of the song. it's all funny!

Jakebbq
June 8th, 2006, 06:14 AM
Big Brother Host: it's time to be vaporised... cameron mitchell
Big Brother: you have 5 seconds to stand infront of the kawoosh
Walter: who left the steaming shoes in front of the gate. Clean up on gate room floor.

oh wait that is a good thing

Lokii
June 8th, 2006, 06:50 AM
"Col O'Neill has been reassigned...... Col Simmons will now be in charge of SG1

Elles
June 8th, 2006, 07:17 AM
"After furthur deliberation, O'Neill has agreed to remain but everyon is now expected to make daily sacrafices of cake."
****************************
O'Neill: Damn it Daniel, sending Anubis your life time collection of neurotic novels isn't going to keep him from attacking earth!
Daniel: But sir, he's a human too!

The Prophet
June 8th, 2006, 08:08 AM
*The Ori Singing...*

"I've paid my dues -
Time after time -
I've done my sentence
But committed no crime -
And bad mistakes
I've made a few
I've had my share of sand kicked in my face -
But I've come through

We are the champions - my friends
And we'll keep on fighting - till the end -
We are the champions -
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions - of the world -

I've taken my bows
And my curtain calls -
You brought me fame and fortuen and everything that goes with it
-
I thank you all -

But it's been no bed of roses
No pleasure cruise -
I consider it a challenge before the whole human race -
And I ain't gonna lose -

We are the champions - my friends
And we'll keep on fighting - till the end -
We are the champions -
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions - of the world -"

Naonak
June 8th, 2006, 08:58 AM
Teal'c: Is this the real life?
. ....... Is this just fantasy?
_______________________________________________________

Big Brother host: Day 3000 in the SGC. Jack has hidden Daniel's glasses.

Allestian
June 8th, 2006, 09:12 AM
Felger: I was just guessing at numbers and figures...

*Coldplay - The Scientist*

dancer_4_daniel
June 8th, 2006, 02:17 PM
Teal'c singing: I wanna sex you up...

Kindhoney
June 8th, 2006, 06:32 PM
Teal'c singing: I wanna sex you up...

Unless it's to me of course...lol. Though I wouldn't want to hear SG-1 singing row, row, row your boat... oh boy here we go again. UURRRRGGGGOOOO!!!!

dancer_4_daniel
June 8th, 2006, 08:38 PM
Walter: The wet t-shirt contest is starting in the commissary in 10 minutes. Sgt. Siler is up first...

Pharaoh Atem
June 8th, 2006, 09:18 PM
Everyone in the SGC singing at once "HEY Macarena"

Pharaoh Atem
June 8th, 2006, 09:25 PM
I love you You love me
we're a happy family
with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you.
won't you say you love me too

awww col carter i didn't know you felt that way about me........(carter) HELP ........walter is touching me

Pharaoh Atem
June 8th, 2006, 09:33 PM
Landry and Walter-

sir are you sure yes the Intel is 100% accurate how do we plan on doing this.

that's easy....sir, how is a united stares citizen going to handle the truth that he really is a alien

Walter it's only Micheal Jackson you make it sound like it's someone important

yes sir

(Walter walks out Landry's office quietly singing thriller ;)

Pharaoh Atem
June 8th, 2006, 09:39 PM
Walter: The wet t-shirt contest is starting in the commissary in 10 minutes. Sgt. Slier is up first...

followed by Dr lee ( rest of the announcement drowned out from everyone running out of the commissary;) tables Charis and drinks falling on the floor Walter just standing there speechless

dancer_4_daniel
June 8th, 2006, 10:03 PM
Walter: Woo hoo! Now I can dance to my "Best of Boy Bands" CD in peace!

dancer_4_daniel
June 8th, 2006, 10:44 PM
SG1 sings:
You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs.
But I look around me and I see it isn't so.
Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs.
And what's wrong with that?
I'd like to know, cause here I go again
I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you,
I can't explain the feelings plain to me, say can't you see?
Ah, she gave me more, she gave it all to me
Now can't you see,
What's wrong with that
I need to know, cause here I go again
I love you, I love you

Love doesn't come in a minute,
Sometimes it doesn't come at all
I only know that when I'm in it
It isn't silly, no, it isn't silly, love isn't silly at all.

How can I tell you about my loved one?
How can I tell you about my loved one?

How can I tell you about my loved one?
(I love you)
How can I tell you about my loved one?
(I love you)

Allestian
June 9th, 2006, 02:51 AM
Felger: Hey O'Neill! Do you want a cuddle with my tickle me Sam doll???

dancer_4_daniel
June 9th, 2006, 03:03 AM
Felger: Hey O'Neill! Do you want a cuddle with my tickle me Sam doll???

ROFL!!!!!!!

Jack: Only if you throw in the blow up doll too...

Allestian
June 9th, 2006, 03:39 AM
:lol: Erm...

Hammond: The fire alarm test will start in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

*Ring*

Three hours pass and the ringing hasn't stopped.

Hammond: Sadly it seems the alarm has broken...

A shot rings out across the SGC as O'Neill shoots at the alarm.

keshya
June 9th, 2006, 04:26 AM
5 sec before the automatic destruct goes off

OOPS!

Lokii
June 9th, 2006, 06:40 AM
The date an alien auction will begin in 10 minutes, first up will be that party animal...Commander Thor....

keshya
June 9th, 2006, 08:23 AM
The date an alien auction will begin in 10 minutes, first up will be that party animal...Commander Thor....


50$!

:D

Allestian
June 9th, 2006, 09:43 AM
Okay I don't know how the exchange rate is...

£80!!!

Naonak
June 9th, 2006, 10:06 AM
One million dollars!

Allestian
June 9th, 2006, 02:04 PM
Hammond - The marriage of Thor and Naonak is to commence in the gateroom after dinner...

:P

Hammond - I'm sorry to say this but the Ori has wiped out every source of blue jello on this planet...

Hanmer
June 9th, 2006, 04:09 PM
O'Neill - *Crackling..* Walter, I cant find my pink slippers!
Walter - *Tuts* Jack, I just dont know what to do with you.

Morgania
June 9th, 2006, 04:24 PM
Landry: "The Ori have stolen all of the SGC's coffee supply".

dancer_4_daniel
June 9th, 2006, 07:32 PM
Landry:...and have left Decaf in its place...

keshya
June 10th, 2006, 04:07 AM
Hammond - The marriage of Thor and Naonak is to commence in the gateroom after dinner...

:P

Hammond - I'm sorry to say this but the Ori has wiped out every source of blue jello on this planet...

aaw, thor's getting married!

*AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH*
everyone's screams because there is no more blue jello

Allestian
June 10th, 2006, 05:22 AM
Hammond - Apophis and Anubis are still alive and are eating all the blue jello in the mess hall...
O'Neill: I'll get my gun sir.

:D

dancer_4_daniel
June 10th, 2006, 08:54 AM
Sam: GET YOUR HANDS OFF THE JELLO OR I'M GOING TO CASTRATE YOU BOTH WITH A PLASTIC SPOON!!!!!!
All Men: AAAAHHHHH!!!!!

keshya
June 10th, 2006, 02:09 PM
Sam: GET YOUR HANDS OFF THE JELLO OR I'M GOING TO CASTRATE YOU BOTH WITH A PLASTIC SPOON!!!!!!
All Men: AAAAHHHHH!!!!!

ROFL :D :D that's a good one!

janet: euh sam, there are no more plastic spoons. they used them all

Allestian
June 11th, 2006, 11:29 AM
O'Neill - I've eaten all of the blue jello of the whole planet...
Sam: So does that mean???
O'Neill: Yep, we have green, red, orange and yellow jello left...

aacid
June 11th, 2006, 12:19 PM
O'Neill - I've eaten all of the blue jello of the whole planet...
Sam: So does that mean???
O'Neill: Yep, we have green, red, orange and yellow jello left...
Medical Team to Gen. O'Neill's Office. Security to level fifteen.. Use Caution, Col. Carter is armed and Dangerous.

Allestian
June 11th, 2006, 12:37 PM
Nice continuation on that one.


Medical Team to Gen. O'Neill's Office. Security to level fifteen.. Use Caution, Col. Carter is armed and Dangerous.

Security to levels 15, 16, 19, 25, 32, 41, 48...never mind...security to all levels...oh wait...security to the outside...what do you mean all the blue jello has gone??? Let's go!!! Security...try and stop us!!!

:P

Happy_Gate
June 11th, 2006, 01:46 PM
Erm....has anyone on the base found my metal robot....it looks like its made of lego parts but it's not. Just make sure you don't let it near other metal objects if you do see it. Thank you.

dancer_4_daniel
June 11th, 2006, 07:15 PM
Medical team to Dr. Felger's lab...he found the robot and it was near metal objects...bring a clean up team with you too..

Elles
June 12th, 2006, 05:20 PM
Walter: Unscheduled off world activation... OH MY GOD! Michael Jackson just came through the Stargate! Get a security team down here right now!

dancer_4_daniel
June 12th, 2006, 06:50 PM
Jack: Michael Jackson?!? 6-6-06 was a few days ago!

Jumper One
June 12th, 2006, 07:03 PM
Jack: Michael Jackson?!? 6-6-06 was a few days ago!
:lol:

dancer_4_daniel
June 12th, 2006, 07:09 PM
Daniel: Maybe he got thrown off by planetary drift...

Jumper One
June 12th, 2006, 07:10 PM
Unrecognized voice: What's this spider like robot doing in the power distribtion center-- AHHHH!

dancer_4_daniel
June 12th, 2006, 07:18 PM
Replicator Carter: WE'RE BAAAACCCCKKK!!!!!!

Lokii
June 13th, 2006, 05:22 AM
Teal’c: These people you are referring to are not trustworthy and can attack you at any moment?
O’Neill: Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.
Teal’c: I would remove them as a threat O’Neill.
O’Neill: Come again
Teal’c: I would engage them in one on one combat to the death
O’Neill: I can go and start killing politicans Teal’c
Teal’c: Why? You said it yourself they…
:::High pitched squeal:::
O’Neill: Crap the intercom is on…..
Teal’c Crap indeed

dancer_4_daniel
June 13th, 2006, 05:49 AM
Daniel: Teal'c, you can't just...
*splat sound*
Daniel (sighs): We are SO going to have to work on your diplomacy skills...
Walter: Where's the president?

Lilith
June 13th, 2006, 06:53 AM
unknown voice: What does this button do?
automated voice: Self destruct in three minutes.
Jack: Who the hell are you?
unknown voice w/ goa'uld accent: MUWAHAHAHAHAHA! I have defeated the Tau'ri!!!

Allestian
June 13th, 2006, 02:09 PM
Random voice: Your new chief scientist is Dr Felger!!!

:D

dancer_4_daniel
June 13th, 2006, 02:22 PM
Random voice: ...and his wedding to Samantha Carter will be in the gateroom in 30 minutes!
Sam: I WAS'T ASKED ABOUT THIS!!!!!

Allestian
June 13th, 2006, 02:27 PM
JACK: She wasn't asked about this!!! She's marrying me!!!

Lilith
June 13th, 2006, 02:27 PM
random voice: Hallowed are the Ori!!
second random voice: that was good... though your pitch was bit off, they usually say it sotto and somber, try again...
random voice: ok, hows this (deep voice) Hallowed are the Ori!!
second random voice: much better

Osiris-RA
June 13th, 2006, 02:29 PM
Unknown annoyed voice: Will the owner of the keg of Blue Jello please come down to the Mess Hall? Your dessert has a timer strapped to it which seems to be counting to something.

Allestian
June 13th, 2006, 02:33 PM
Jack Bauer - Welcome to the longest 24 hours of my life...oh wait wrong show...what am I doing here? What? I don't know what the countdown is to...God!...It's only jello.

Bang!!!

Sam: Sweet. Jack, you just shot Jack Bauer.
Jack: Oh it's okay, he won't die. It's just a tv show. Now the blue jello on the other hand...

BOOM!!!

All: Noooooooo!!!

dancer_4_daniel
June 13th, 2006, 02:44 PM
Walter: Mourning for the blue jello will begin at 1400 hours. Samantha Carter will be giving the eulogy, as she and the jello were intimately acquainted...
*random snicker*
*SMACK*
Walter: Not like that! God Felger, you perv! First the blow up doll and now this...
Sam: BLOW UP DOLL?!?!? FELGER, YOUR BUTT IS MINE!!!
Felger: Promise?
Sam: ARGH! JACK, KILL HIM!
Felger: Oh s***.

Lilith
June 13th, 2006, 02:48 PM
Walter: A Memorial for Dr. Felger will be held shortly after the one for the Blue Jello. Colonel O'Neill encourages attendance. He says it will be an educational experience.
Carter: Damn right it will! Nobody better mess with me!

Allestian
June 13th, 2006, 02:50 PM
Jack sobbing in his office.

:D

dancer_4_daniel
June 13th, 2006, 03:22 PM
Teal'c crying in Jack's office and Jack trying to comfort him!

Lilith
June 13th, 2006, 03:25 PM
Hammond (singing): I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts....

Allestian
June 13th, 2006, 03:36 PM
Jack: "There they are a standing in a row..."

:P

Tealcfan
June 13th, 2006, 05:25 PM
Daniel Singing: I'm to sexy for my shirt my shirt!
Vala in background: Damn straight!

keshya
June 14th, 2006, 12:43 AM
Jack: "There they are a standing in a row..."

:P

"Big ones, small ones, some as big as yer 'ead!..." :D

dancer_4_daniel
June 14th, 2006, 04:32 AM
Sam: Stop that right now!
Jack: What will you give me? (asked seductively)
Sam: Come over here and see...
Everyone else: MOMMY MAKE THEM STOP!!!!!!

Lokii
June 14th, 2006, 04:53 AM
Attention: Would the person or persons responsible for hanging Dr. Lee by his underwear in the locker room please report to the briefing room.

Naonak
June 14th, 2006, 05:20 AM
Landry (drunk): Eight hundred and fifteen bottles of beer on the wall, eight hundred and fifteen bottles of beer...!

Lokii
June 14th, 2006, 05:51 AM
Hammond: Due to the dioplomatic incident with the Oriee, there will be no practicing of tee shots into an active Stargate.

keshya
June 14th, 2006, 10:03 AM
Hammond: Due to the dioplomatic incident with the Oriee, there will be no practicing of tee shots into an active Star Gate.

teal'c: that is most unfortunate. o'neill suggested that I needed the practice

Lilith
June 14th, 2006, 10:26 AM
Jack: where else are we supposed to practice?!
Daniel: um... how about a putting green?
Jack: You are so uncreative.

dancer_4_daniel
June 14th, 2006, 11:37 AM
Daniel: Just practice whenever there's a major holiday...everybody knows Walter and Siler get so drunk they'd even let Narim through the gate!
Jack: THAT'S how he ended up as Dr. Weir's boyfriend!

Otera
June 14th, 2006, 11:58 AM
*feedback noise*
General: Alright, who hid a speaker under my desk!?!

keshya
June 14th, 2006, 12:06 PM
Daniel: Just practice whenever there's a major holiday...everybody knows Walter and Siler get so drunk they'd even let Narim through the gate!
Jack: THAT'S how he ended up as Dr. Weir's boyfriend!

:D

Daniel: yeah, and then he met someone else. never liked that guy

dancer_4_daniel
June 14th, 2006, 01:23 PM
Walter: Can I get diplomatic immunity in China?

Lilith
June 14th, 2006, 01:27 PM
Jack: .... and in other news, Genereal Hammond was spotted-
Hammond (faintly in bg): Colonel O'Neill!!!
Jack: Sorry folks, but it seems this story will have to wait for later. Good Bye and Gate safely!
Hammond (a little bit lounder): Next time I'm ordering the Iris close before you materialise!

dancer_4_daniel
June 14th, 2006, 01:44 PM
Walter: 50 bucks and I won't tell anyone about the time that you were caught dancing around your office to "Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy" in a pink tutu.
Hammond: Fine, here's your money...wait a minute, is this thing on?!?
Walter: CRAP!!!!!

ReganX
June 14th, 2006, 05:39 PM
Vala: As the new commander of the SGC, I will be enforcing a few small rules.

Rule One: I am Vala, thy god. Thou shalt have no other gods before me...

dancer_4_daniel
June 14th, 2006, 07:04 PM
Daniel: I think I smell a "false god" in here...

Otera
June 14th, 2006, 07:14 PM
Daniel: Well... now that it's quiet here...
(Female squeals)

dancer_4_daniel
June 14th, 2006, 07:23 PM
Siler singing "I'm a Little Teapot".

Linkinparkgundam
June 14th, 2006, 08:49 PM
Sg-1 and Slier singing "The Internet is for Porn"

sgeureka
June 15th, 2006, 12:14 AM
Sg-1 and Slier singing "The Internet is for Porn"Hey, we already got O'Neill and Carter singing about the "proper" use of the internet on youtube.com (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpJb2L6-yxA&search=stargate%20internet). :)

Lokii
June 15th, 2006, 05:54 AM
Scooooooby Dooo.... Where are you?

dancer_4_daniel
June 15th, 2006, 06:02 AM
Narim: Samantha, I'm home....

Wraith Scientist
June 15th, 2006, 06:06 AM
Hammond: Wow guys, I just had this weird dream where there was this strange ring that could take you to other planets, and alien parasites with glowing eyes. I'm sure glad that wasn't real

***

Politician: Stargate? Ships? This must be someone's idea of a joke. Oh well, I'll just cancel this funding ...

***

Prior: Release the robotic Richard Simmons

dancer_4_daniel
June 15th, 2006, 06:08 AM
Siler (with REALLY bad faux british accent): Do I make you horney, baby?

Kindhoney
June 15th, 2006, 06:22 AM
Vala: As the new commander of the SGC, I will be enforcing a few small rules.

Rule One: I am Vala, thy god. Thou shalt have no other gods before me...


Doesn't she understand the meaning of restraining order.

dancer_4_daniel
June 15th, 2006, 06:33 AM
Random voice singing "Star Wars Cantina".

Otera
June 15th, 2006, 06:38 AM
Random voice singing "Star Wars Cantina".
:lol:

The real version of "You are my sunshine", where the singers sound drunk, and high, and tone deaf!!

Lilith
June 15th, 2006, 07:55 AM
Hey, we already got O'Neill and Carter singing about the "proper" use of the internet on youtube.com (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpJb2L6-yxA&search=stargate%20internet). :)
:lol: oh god! that was great!

dancer_4_daniel
June 15th, 2006, 08:58 AM
Random voice: The Phantom of the SGC is there....in the gate room!
*creepy organ music starts*
Jack: Okay, who let Siler watch musicals again?!?

Kindhoney
June 15th, 2006, 09:42 AM
Random voice: The Phantom of the SGC is there....in the gate room!
*creepy organ music starts*
Jack: Okay, who let Siler watch musicals again?!?


Then starts "Halloween" Mike Myers music over the intercom, screams heard around the base and bunch of dead bodies laying all over as Sam removes her hockey mask with a sick evil chuckle.

:samanime15: : It's amazing what a woman will do in the face of blue jello withdrawal.

scifi_girl
June 15th, 2006, 09:51 AM
sam: im taking the day week off from saving the world.oh and by the way the ori are attacking tomorrow around 4. have fun

Lilith
June 15th, 2006, 10:13 AM
:jack: : I am Jack, the Pumpkin King!
:sam: : I am not your Sally.
:daniel: : Um...Jack? Why are you looking at me like that?

wurlitzer153
June 15th, 2006, 01:14 PM
*Fiddle music starts*

Caller: "Circle to the left, and back to the right. Alamand left, grand right & left! Say hi to your partner on your way by. Everybody swing! Couple #1 go to couple #2, 3 go to couple #4. Circle up four, left hand star! Alamand left, ladies chain, courtousy turn. Dosie-doe your corner, then your own, Swing your partner. Right hand star, and back with the left, alamand left, ladies chain, turn. Is it time for everybody to swing?! Promenade, promenade! All join hands circle to the left..."

All this is happening in the gate room.

"Bow to your partner."

Edited for clarity.

Wraith Scientist
June 15th, 2006, 01:23 PM
All this is happening in the gate room.

The fiddle music is so loud they don't notice the incoming wormhole until it is too late ...

"and turn to the left"
RUMBLE, RUMBLE, KER-CHUNK, RUMBLE, RUMBLE
"Uh, sir?"
"and turn to the ... "
KAWOOSH!

Lilith
June 15th, 2006, 01:29 PM
The fiddle music is so loud they don't notice the incoming wormhole until it is too late ...

"and turn to the left"
RUMBLE, RUMBLE, KER-CHUNK, RUMBLE, RUMBLE
"Uh, sir?"
"and turn to the ... "
KAWOOSH!
:hammond: : next we do this with the Iris closed.
Walter: yessir.

dancer_4_daniel
June 15th, 2006, 08:16 PM
Elevator music on continuous loop.

Trek_Girl42
June 15th, 2006, 11:13 PM
"SGT Siler to the lab. We have some new armour that needs testing."

sgeureka
June 16th, 2006, 12:14 AM
Walter: General O'Neill, please come to the Control Room immediately. Your puppy just pooped on my keyboard.

keshya
June 16th, 2006, 01:39 AM
aaw, a puppy.

Siler: hey, I didn't know it was bring-your-pet-to-work day!

ReganX
June 16th, 2006, 06:34 AM
Jack: Colonel Carter's cat just ran through the stargate. We need to get it back before she finds out. I'm going to need volunteers for a rescue mission to Ba'al's home planet.

Lilith
June 16th, 2006, 08:19 AM
Daniel: Why don't we just buy her a new cat that looks the same?

keshya
June 16th, 2006, 12:47 PM
sam: what?! I don't want a new cat! I want my cat!

Lilith
June 16th, 2006, 12:54 PM
Sam: Where'd it go anyways?
Jack: Tollana. I think it followed Narim through.

keshya
June 16th, 2006, 01:50 PM
Sam: but aren't they all gone? the cat's gonna get lonely

Lilith
June 16th, 2006, 02:17 PM
Jack: Carter, it's a cat! It prefers to be alone. What you need is a dog.

ejohnno
June 16th, 2006, 03:24 PM
*sobbing*

Sam: Jack give Cassy her dog back!!!! ...and yes I mean now!

dancer_4_daniel
June 16th, 2006, 07:23 PM
Daniel: Maybe if we offered Ba'al a bribe, he'll give us the cat back.
Jack: What kind of bribe?
Daniel: He gives the cat back and I don't tell the other System Lords what he was doing on New Years Eve...

Linkinparkgundam
June 16th, 2006, 08:56 PM
Hey, we already got O'Neill and Carter singing about the "proper" use of the internet on youtube.com (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpJb2L6-yxA&search=stargate%20internet). :)

I saw that one on there... that was too wrong and funny... c'mon, Mayborne and Daniel, and Sam's faces tied it altogether...

dancer_4_daniel
June 17th, 2006, 08:00 AM
Jack: I am SO not asking!
Daniel: Good, 'cause I needed 62 hour of therapy afterwards...

keshya
June 17th, 2006, 08:01 AM
Daniel: Maybe if we offered Ba'al a bribe, he'll give us the cat back.
Jack: What kind of bribe?
Daniel: He gives the cat back and I don't tell the other System Lords what he was doing on New Years Eve...

jack: please tell me it wasn't the same as what he was doing on halloween. that was just too weird!

Pharaoh Atem
June 17th, 2006, 08:04 AM
Hammond - colonial O'Neill what in the hell are you doing?!

jack in the middle of my back swing!!!!

OK not original but funny

keshya
June 17th, 2006, 08:06 AM
Hammond - colonial O'Neill what in the hell are you doing?!

jack in the middle of my back swing!!!!

OK not original but funny

I know! why didn't you invite me to join in your game? *giggles* Always wanted to play golf through the gate.

Lilith
June 17th, 2006, 09:50 AM
Daniel: Jack, what are you doing?
Jack: Daniel, this alter is covered in Ancient writing-
Daniel: Ah Ah! I said no touching!

gatebuster64
June 17th, 2006, 10:24 AM
Hammond: tickets are now on sale to watch Kingsly get eaten by Freddy Kruger
:prioranime01: :prioranime01: :prioranime01: :prioranime01: :prioranime01:
:prioranime01: :prioranime01: :prioranime01: :prioranime01: :prioranime01:
:prioranime01: :prioranime01: :prioranime01: :prioranime01: :prioranime01:
:prioranime01: :prioranime01: :prioranime01: :prioranime01: :prioranime01:

Kindhoney
June 18th, 2006, 07:54 PM
Oh what a horrible thought, Jack and Teal'c passing gas and belching the A,B,Cs. Oh my goodness the smells and sounds, ewwww!!!

Lokii
June 19th, 2006, 06:47 AM
The Marriage ceremony of Col Carter and Dr. Felgar will be starting in one hour....

keshya
June 19th, 2006, 12:23 PM
jack: I'm gonna be sick!

Lilith
June 19th, 2006, 12:25 PM
Daniel: Jack, let's screw like bunnies in heat!

keshya
June 19th, 2006, 12:28 PM
Daniel: Jack, let's screw like bunnies in heat!

Jack: WHAT?!

Trek_Girl42
June 19th, 2006, 12:29 PM
Hammond: Felger to the Gateroom!

dancer_4_daniel
June 19th, 2006, 04:17 PM
Jack: No sir! Remember? Felger is a human...
*ZAP!*
Jack:...lightening rod...

gatebuster64
June 20th, 2006, 04:51 PM
ATTENTION! CODE RED EMERGENCY! CODE RED EMERGENCY! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL! CARTER HAS TAKEN A VACATION AND IS REPLACED BY FELGAR! EVERYBODY DUCK AND COVERRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:eek::jack_new_anime05::samanime24::vala09::mckayanime07:

Kindhoney
June 20th, 2006, 06:36 PM
:jack_new_anime25: What do you mean this whole time we've been on "Punked"!!!

dancer_4_daniel
June 21st, 2006, 05:48 AM
Daniel: Jack, put the C4 down...

Lilith
June 21st, 2006, 06:29 AM
Jack: Daniel! That's not an Ancient artifact! It's a bomb.
(whirls, swirls, and bleeps)
Daniel: Oops. I think I armed it.

Trek_Girl42
June 21st, 2006, 11:52 AM
Attention! O'Neill has once again had his head sucked by one of those head-suckers!

dancer_4_daniel
June 21st, 2006, 04:11 PM
Jack: Ba'al, for the LAST time...NO ONE wants to see you do a lap dance!
Sam: I wouldn't say that...

2ndgenerationalteran
June 21st, 2006, 06:06 PM
the match of Kel shak lo between tealc and felgar will start in 25 minutes, and bets will start at $100

ReganX
June 21st, 2006, 06:28 PM
Jack: Attention all parents, Ba'al has very kindly offered to fill in the vacated position as Head of the SGC Daycare Centre.

keshya
June 22nd, 2006, 03:39 AM
the match of Kel shak lo between tealc and felgar will start in 25 minutes, and bets will start at $100

a 150$ on Teal'c

Lokii
June 22nd, 2006, 05:46 AM
::Alarms Sounding::

Carter: Sir we have a problem with the device SG4 just brought back. I think it may explode.

Hammond: Sounds serious, better call Felgar, he's our only hope.

Tealcfan
June 22nd, 2006, 06:01 AM
"It's time for Camp Lazlo!!"

wurlitzer153
June 22nd, 2006, 10:53 AM
Smile, you're on "Candid Camera"!

dancer_4_daniel
June 22nd, 2006, 03:03 PM
Walter: The mud wrestling match between Hermoid and Thor will be in 30 minutes in the gateroom. Place your bets with General Hammond...

Pharaoh Atem
June 22nd, 2006, 08:04 PM
Walter: The mud wrestling match between Hermoid and Thor will be in 30 minutes in the gateroom. Place your bets with General Hammond... all my post count on Hermoid :D

2ndgenerationalteran
June 22nd, 2006, 10:14 PM
what do you mean, the simulation is over?

Trek_Girl42
June 23rd, 2006, 12:09 AM
Red alert!

2ndgenerationalteran
June 23rd, 2006, 12:50 AM
felger: what do these red buttons do?

dancer_4_daniel
June 23rd, 2006, 09:27 AM
Walter: Thor won the mud wrestle but Hermoid wants a rematch. We need more mud!

Elles
June 23rd, 2006, 11:30 PM
Hammond: The Goa'uld System Lord, Barney, has risen to power and is threatening to destroy Earth unless we watch his TV show on PBS daily.

Lilith
June 24th, 2006, 11:23 AM
"Col. Carter report to the commisary, Col. Carter report to the commisary. SG-12 is being attacked by mutant blue jello."

dancer_4_daniel
June 25th, 2006, 05:48 AM
Walter: There goes our whipped cream...

Sam fisher
June 27th, 2006, 09:22 PM
Hammond: I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that the self-destruct is going to go off in 5 minutes. The good news is that I just saved a ton of money by switching to Geico.

(Someone else might have said something like that, I don't remember, sorry if so)

Naonak
June 28th, 2006, 05:17 AM
Teal'c: The hills are alive, with the sound of music...!

Lokii
June 28th, 2006, 06:02 AM
Hammond: I am leaving the SGC to work on Senator Kinsey's presidential election campaign

Pharaoh Atem
June 28th, 2006, 07:14 AM
this is general O'Neill who ever stole my hidden stash beef had better return it or the SGC is going to have it first open hunting season

Unorthodox
June 28th, 2006, 07:54 AM
General Landry on Intercom - "This is General Landry to all personell. Would somebody from the clothing department please bring Teal'c some pants? It seems that someone *eyes Daniel* has been pulling pranks, and they need to stop!"

Teal'c (to Dandiel) - "Those pants seem too large for you." *narrows eyes* "Are those mine, Daniel Jackson!?"

Lilith
June 30th, 2006, 12:41 PM
O'Neill: Whoever painted Carter's lab pink, please report to the briefing room before Carter tracks you down. We would like to award you the Purple Heart for courage beyond what we thought possible. Then I suggest you run like hell, because she will show you no mercy.

Trek_Girl42
June 30th, 2006, 12:58 PM
Attention: Harry Maybourne is back and taking command of the SGC. The first order of business: Guango will now be served with jello in the commisary.

penguininablender
June 30th, 2006, 01:01 PM
Landry: Attention all personel, if col. carter runs by you, do not get in her way. It seems that the cafeteria has run out of blue jello and she has gone on a bloody and violent rampage until someone gets her blue jello fix for her. She is going through jello withdrawls and is VERY, VERY angry

aacid
June 30th, 2006, 10:29 PM
Two shots ring out

Teal'c : O'Neill, I do not believe that is how you disable the intercom.

2ndgenerationalteran
June 30th, 2006, 11:44 PM
This makes the third week of lock down, and we ran out of jello.

dancer_4_daniel
July 1st, 2006, 01:16 PM
Sam is rambling on and on.
Felger: How do I turn you off so we can get to other things?
Sam: Believe me, I am PLENTY turned off right now...

Trek_Girl42
July 1st, 2006, 02:29 PM
Sam is rambling on and on.
Felger: How do I turn you off so we can get to other things?
Sam: Believe me, I am PLENTY turned off right now...
:lol:

Col. Shadow Quinn
July 1st, 2006, 06:49 PM
Hammond: oh siler i love you
Siler: i do to sir
*sounds of making out*
o'neil: thats sick sir your really a homo
*random gun shots hammond and siler later found dead*

:hammond03: :jack_new_anime25: :jack_new_anime07: :cameron08: :hammond03: :jack_new_anime25: :jack_new_anime25: :jack_new_anime25: :jack_new_anime07: :indeed:

dancer_4_daniel
July 2nd, 2006, 12:34 PM
Walter: Siler, did you take my lace nightie again?!?
Everyone else on the base: ARGH, OUR DEFILED EARS!!!!!

Col. Shadow Quinn
July 2nd, 2006, 02:01 PM
Walter: Siler, did you take my lace nightie again?!?
Everyone else on the base: ARGH, OUR DEFILED EARS!!!!!

walter and Siler: Hammond, will you marry us?
Hammond: yes, i will!
*SG1 goes up and tags them for transport into space. Hammond, Walter, and Siler are beamed into space*

dancer_4_daniel
July 3rd, 2006, 02:55 PM
Walter: Attention everybody: Workshops on "How to look pretty while being evil" will be held by Ba'al in the Commissary today at 10 o'clock.

penguininablender
July 3rd, 2006, 05:19 PM
Siler: Attention, in the spirit of Baal's new cloning obsession, we have decided to hold a competition. There is a large jar in the commisary full of baals, and whoever can guess how many there are gets a full week of blue jello for free from the commisary.

dancer_4_daniel
July 4th, 2006, 08:13 AM
Walter: There is a "Clothe The Ba'als" contest going on. Design a new outfit for the clone of your choice and dinner is on the real Ba'al...if you can find him...

penguininablender
July 4th, 2006, 11:52 AM
Walter: There is a "Clothe The Ba'als" contest going on. Design a new outfit for the clone of your choice and dinner is on the real Ba'al...if you can find him...
rofl...I can add to that
Ba'al: walter...hey walter! Tell them I like Pink!!!And ruffles. I want a pink ruffled outfit!!