PDA

View Full Version : what wisecrack would jack make if he met a prior?



Pharaoh Atem
February 5th, 2006, 05:11 AM
would jack get cofused when the prior starts talking about the book of origin

remember what jack used to put everyone thought never understanding what carter said and the poor jaffa always giving them a hard time.

so now apply everything jack used to do to the jaffa, tok'ra,tollen,goul'lud, and so on

try something original

Ancient 1
February 6th, 2006, 12:03 PM
I'll give this a shot...

Prior begins preaching from Book of Origin: "In the beginning...
Jack: "Do they all start out the same, how cliche' and you know how I hate cliche's..."

I tried....:D

da_hippie
February 6th, 2006, 12:12 PM
So, um...how bout those Ori? See they've still not found a cure for ugliness.

Jumper One
February 6th, 2006, 12:20 PM
I'll give this a shot...

Prior begins preaching from Book of Origin: "In the beginning...
Jack: "Do they all start out the same, how cliche' and you know how I hate cliche's..."

I tried....:D

i agree with that :)

RobJones
February 6th, 2006, 12:22 PM
Prior - "In the begining..." *babbles on*... "Origin saved the..." *babbles on*... "He went forth into the..." *babbles on*... and finally... "Do you accept origin O'neill?"

Jack - (with a sort of lost bewilldered look turns to cater) - "Huh?!"
or
Jack - "Will there be cake?"

:D:jack:

Kelt'ar
February 6th, 2006, 12:24 PM
Oneil: Stop waving that Shiny Stick around so much! Makes my eyes hurt.

SilverRider
February 6th, 2006, 12:57 PM
Jack: CARTER!!!! What in the world are they talking about??? it's giving me a heahache....Daniel asprin please....

*sighs* Oh well I gave it my best shot :P

Tankaras
February 6th, 2006, 01:01 PM
Proir steps through the gate

Jack: Woah, you must be from a world that's far from the sun.
You should try Miami heard it's great this time of year.

Hybridbabe
February 6th, 2006, 01:09 PM
Daniel: Jack, these Priors are a danger to everybody.
O'Neill: What, the guys that need some sun? Then just stake 'em and be done with it, and we can go back home for some pie.

Or
Prior: *blabbers on about Origin*
O'Neill: And your point is...?

Or
Daniel: Now Jack, when the Prior comes through the gate, don't assume he's not going to do anything. he's got more power than you think.
O'Neill: *watches the Prior enter* He looks like he's going to dance with the Grateful Dead if you ask me. Can I shoot him yet?

immhotep
February 6th, 2006, 01:17 PM
Prior: and we shall spread origin throughout all the unbelievers
Jack: So...do ya think they rehearse?
Daniel: I dont know...
Jack: 10 bucks says the next prior we meet says the same damn speach.
Prior: another speach
Daniel: damn! ive heard this one *hands over an IOU*

DiMalebranche
February 6th, 2006, 01:33 PM
Hmm... lessee..

Prior: In the beginning...
Jack: Is.. he going to try to sell me a Watchtower?

Prior: Blessed are the Ori.
Jack: Gazuntheid.

majorsal
February 6th, 2006, 01:58 PM
would jack get cofused when the prior starts talking about the book of origin

remember what jack used to put everyone thought never understanding what carter said and the poor jaffa always giving them a hard time.

so now apply everything jack used to do to the jaffa, tok'ra,tollen,goul'lud, and so on


jack: 'one word. cut back on the sunscreen.'

daniel: 'that isn't one word.'

jack: 'details...'


it sucks! :p


*misses jack*



sally :)

Carl
February 6th, 2006, 02:09 PM
Prior: Origin is ..... rightious and powerful.... bla bla.... all-seeing.
Jack Oh Jeez... Stop it with the voodoo and leave our galaxy before I'm too tempted to shoot ya!

-Major Woody
February 6th, 2006, 02:12 PM
Prior: "Hallowed are the Ori."

O'Neill: "What?"

AndyStargateUK
February 6th, 2006, 02:31 PM
Ori Prior- ''In the book of Origin it says ...''
Cut short by Jack cutting in...
Jack - ''I'm not going to tithe some of my beer money to you or whatever you are offering so stop right now while you are ahead''
Ori Prior-''But we offer the true path''
Jack- ''Do you offer any fishing tips in your book? That's all I need to be enlightened on really''

AscendedAbydonian
February 6th, 2006, 02:49 PM
Prior- All who fail to join us MUST be Destroyed!

Jack- If I had a nickle...

contact2918
February 6th, 2006, 04:32 PM
Prior: Hallowed are the Ori.
Jack: Hollow?

HirogenGater
February 6th, 2006, 04:37 PM
Prior: In the beginning...
Jack: Ah for cryin' out loud.

Xanderic
February 6th, 2006, 06:10 PM
Prior: Hallowed are the Ori.
Jack: In plain English, please.

Dr Worm
February 6th, 2006, 06:45 PM
Prior: Have you read the book of Origin
O'Neill: I've got it on tape. Don't tell me how it ends

Prior: Have you read the book of Origin
O'Neill: Waiting for the movie!

the fifth man
February 6th, 2006, 06:54 PM
Jack to Prior - "You know, I think you need to spend a little less time praying to these Ori guys, and a little more time in the sun."

Daniel - "Jack!"

O'Neill - "What? It's just my opinion."

majorsal
February 6th, 2006, 07:07 PM
Prior: "Hallowed are the Ori."

O'Neill: "What?"


prior - "hallowed are the ori."

jack - "hallowed out of your a$$

daniel - "what?"

jack - "what?"




sally :)

AscendedAbydonian
February 6th, 2006, 07:30 PM
Prior- So Marduk left his starving family and travelled 70 days to the Mixova Plateau, on top of which was the RontoK Lake. Though Marduk knew that it held no fish and he had no rod, he had no other option for this was the last lake on the planet, Lixemanous. Desperate, Marduk closed his eyes and went out into the water to give praise to the Ori. During that moment of praise, a fish brushed past Marduk's leg, and Marduk opened his eyes to see that Lixemanous had turned into a tropical paradise, and that RontoK Lake was teeming with life. Marduk gathered as many fish as he could and brought them back to his family. Hallowed are the Ori!

Jack- He caught all those fish without a pole?

Daniel- Jack, that's not the point...

Jack- Marduk rocks!

Prior- He totally already knows he does.

:) Stimutacs

andromeda_fate
February 6th, 2006, 08:22 PM
All of these Jack anecdotes really makes me miss Jack! :danielanime08: I never really knew how much I missed seeing him on the show every week. *Sigh*

Wyrminarrd
February 6th, 2006, 11:23 PM
The only one I can come up with is propably the lamest yet :o

*Prior steps through the gate

Jack: So, do you have any prior experience as an evil henchman?

Prior: All must convert to Origin!

Edit: Jack: We will have to give this top priority.

mother-goose
February 7th, 2006, 12:58 AM
Prior: In the begining ..... (finishes seach)

Jack: Yeh, when you say begining....who's begining is that? ours? yours? mine? You cant be so broad with your sweeping statements, people just wont take you seriously.

Jack to Daniel: Do they all look like that?
Daniel:erm, so far....
Jack: Riiiiiiiiiight, guess they haven't heard of foundation huh?

And finally:

Prior: In the begini-
Jack: Whoa Whoa Whoa, hang on a sec give this a try (passes mega phone)
Prior: What is the purpose of this?
Jack: Speak into it
Prior: In th-
Jack: The other way round!
Prior: Oh right gotcha
Jack: AHA i knew it, teal'c, take that blue/grey paint off, your not fooling anyone!

Peoples_General
February 7th, 2006, 04:46 PM
Prior: "Have you read the Book of Origin?"
Jack: "Does it have pictures?"

Prior: "When Hanomir fell and learned to fly... That was a miracle."
Jack: "No, if you start making sense, that would be a miracle."

Pharaoh Atem
February 7th, 2006, 05:29 PM
prior- hallowed are the ori.

Jack- halloween isn't till november.

Prior- blank look.

Ancient 1
February 7th, 2006, 09:36 PM
Prior: Have yo read the Book of Origin?
Jack: Yea, that's old news. Colonel Sander's recipe is out, bud....
Daniel: Jack!
Jack: Both Original Recipe and Extra Crispy so take your cook book and.....!

NakedJehutyV2
February 7th, 2006, 09:54 PM
do ya have sunblock?






cuz damn even gerak was turned white

Ascended Times.2
February 7th, 2006, 10:05 PM
:S I was never good at these, don't shoot me if I stuff it up plz....

Prior steps through the gate.
Daniel: "Jack, sinse you've been gone so long, this is a Prior."
Jack studies for a moment and then looks at Teal'c: "Three to one odds says he's not who he pretends to be."
Teal'c raises his left eyebrow and says: "Allright O'Neill, i'll take those odds."

The Prior later turns out to be some goth wacko who likes to preach. :P

*Ducks from the gunshots*

Darkstar
February 8th, 2006, 06:34 AM
Prior: as it was writtin in the book of origin.......harps on.......and on......and so too the Ori will bring fouth your...

Jack: you know i heard this on that last planet and....i wasen't listening the first time.....

jack: you see that gleem in your eye?

Prior: my physical body is immetrial to the Ori!

jack: that gleem is the last of you wisecrack soul being washed away by your so called gods.

*prior stares*

Jack: but then you would need a soul to start off with...and from what i smell you probably sold the last of it for your face lift......still it was a hell of a rip off if you ask me!!!

Prior: the body is irrelevant to what the Ori offer.

jack: still got that arrogance bug i see

RoMUS
February 8th, 2006, 11:49 AM
1,Nice makeup

2,Nice dress does that come in a medium

jazz!
February 8th, 2006, 01:24 PM
Prior: Hallowed are the Ori!

Jack: Deja Vu!

L-JADE
February 8th, 2006, 03:52 PM
Prior: In the begining .....
Jack : *yawn* Are we there yet ?

hypergate
February 8th, 2006, 06:06 PM
Prior: Hallowed are the Ori....
Jack: Is that a candy bar?
Prior: The Ori are gods.
Jack: Gods, smods are you sure they just don't have kool toys.
Prior: The Ori require all those who don't believe to be destroyed.
Jack: Got a problem with that.
(Jack shoots the prior but doesn't get through)
Or not. Hey you wouldn't be able to tell me how to kill you?


Prior: From the book of ....
Jack: Is it an actual book, or is it a letter?
Prior: The book of Origin was written by the hallowed Ori.
Jack: These Ori, do they have a sense of humor?
Prior: The Ori have been known to have fun on occassion.
Jack: Oh yeah.
Prior: It is told once, that when a group of unbelievers was discovered the Ori devolved them into monkeys. (The prior starts to laugh)
Jack: Well that sounds bad. I hate monkeys.
Prior: Then accept the book of origin.
Jack: Ok.
(Jack takes the book from the Prior and smacks him in the face with it. SG-1 then runs for the gate.) :ronan:

Xanderic
February 8th, 2006, 06:33 PM
Prior comes through Stargate

Prior: I am a Prior

Jack: Wait... are the the prior Michael Jackson? The current MJ looks like you.

AscendedAbydonian
February 8th, 2006, 08:50 PM
SG-13 successfully captured a Prior on P3X-666 using the device that hinders their powers. The Prior is taken to the Gamma Site and held in cell for study. Gen. Jack O'Neill comes to visit the Prior who sits silently in his cell deep in contemplation. Jack enters. The Prior doesn't even acknowledge his presence.

Jack- What? No Speech?

The Prior looks up.

Prior- I had a revelation.

Jack- And?

Prior- I have no BLeEpiNG idea what "hallowed" means!

Jack- Yeah, it's like... are their made up out of empty wooden boxes or something? Because I have those in my garage.

Prior- Maybe they just like Iron Maiden.

Abodie
February 9th, 2006, 03:56 AM
"A little pasty looking aren't ya? What's wrong, prunes not working?"

wolverine_nl
February 9th, 2006, 05:08 AM
The prior walks up to the village and adresses the people. Jack sees this and walks up to the prior and tells him the following:

Jack:" Would you please stop! We all got a copy from Readers' Digest and we all threw it away, so why bore us with this....by the way...what's with the hair?" :jack:

chriswin8
February 9th, 2006, 08:05 AM
Prior: In the begining... Durring Prostration... <Jack interups>

Jack: Huh what you on not going to do anything to my Prostate. <Backing Away> Your not going to anal Probe me. <Rases P90 and begins to fire> :)

I know I sucks. But that was the first thing i though when i heard the word Prostration. Dont ask i was Half Drunk.

hypergate
February 9th, 2006, 08:17 AM
Prior: Come one, come all and witness the power of the Ori.
Jack: Wow, you're a little bit more fun than the last guy we met.
Prior: Yes, Bob is somewhat of a bore.
Jack: Ya don't say.
Prior: Yeah, he's orthodox.
Jack: I see, does he like jokes?

Prior: I need a volunteer. Yes you, over there.
(The prior points to Jack)
Jack: Alright.
Prior: Watch as I change this elderly man's hair orange.
Jack: Hey.
(The Prior touches Jack and his hair turns orange)
Prior: Now you see my true power.
Jack: Do you know anything that gets out orange hair?

The Signal
February 9th, 2006, 08:52 AM
Prior: The Ori are all seeing
Jack: So, like in the bathroom?
Prior: The Ori are all knowing
Jack: Well so is Carter but she doesnt get plae guys to blab about it
Prior: The Ori are all powerful
Jack: So, they can do anything?
Prior: yes they can, the Ori are all powerful
Jack: So if I were to say "turn everything into the wizard of oz" *Pop*
Jack *dressed as scarecrow* Daniel, ya make one brain joke and so help me god...

rarocks24
February 9th, 2006, 02:55 PM
Jack to any Prior it doesn't matter-

"Hey Saruman...Mordor's that away!"

"Yeah whatever you say, Gandalf!"

BackStageJim
February 9th, 2006, 03:09 PM
Prior: "Hallowed are the Ori."

O'Neill: "Ah, wrong genre buddy, LOTR on stage 4B. And it’s Orc."

Jackson: <Whimsical look>

O’Neill: “Yes, Daniel …. I read …” “Ok, …. Cliff Notes.”

rarocks24
February 9th, 2006, 03:15 PM
Prior: "Hallowed are the Ori."

O'Neill: "Ah, wrong genre buddy, LOTR on stage 4B. And it’s Orc."

Jackson: <Whimsical look>

O’Neill: “Yes, Daniel …. I read …” “Ok, …. Cliff Notes.”
LOL! :P

skeezix
February 9th, 2006, 03:40 PM
Daniel: Jack..about the Priors, we have to be careful. They are more dangerous than you might think.
Jack: Can they be shot?
Daniel: Well...
Jack: Let's go.

*Gate to wherever*

*Enter Prior*
*Jack sees Prior, is startled by the bright whiteness, leans back in surprise*
Jack: Yow!
Daniel: So what do you think?
*Jack puts on his sunglasses*
Prior:In the beginning....
Jack: I should have brought a hat...
*Begins firing*

rarocks24
February 9th, 2006, 04:41 PM
Prior: It shall come to pass...
Jack: Dude, where's the restroom, cuz nothing's gonna come to pass until I take a c^&p.

hypergate
February 9th, 2006, 05:22 PM
Prior: In the beginning...
Jack: Wait a second, do we really need to hear the beginning.
Prior: The Ori are the beginning.
Jack: What's the end... Iro?
Prior: Your humor does not amuse the Ori.
Jack: Well, they made you. That proves they have a sense of humor.
(Ominous laughter comes from no where)
Prior: What have I done to displease you?
(Ominous voice): The one called Jack has amused us, we no longer need you.
The prior walks away and goes through the gate.
Jack: You can come out now.
Daniel: I can't believe they fell for that.
Jack: Anyone ever tell you that you'd make quite an actor.

Colonel Sharp
February 10th, 2006, 06:21 PM
Jack: "Did anyone ever tell you your staff looks like plastic? Because....well.....it does."

jazz!
February 12th, 2006, 10:35 AM
Knowing the way Jack is with linguistics.....

Jack: Ori - verderci !? (arrivederci) :o :p :D

AcidSquid
February 12th, 2006, 01:32 PM
Prior:*starts to burn*
Jack: Oh now that's gonna mess up my carpet.

SuperDuperCool
February 12th, 2006, 02:13 PM
"Hallowed are the Ori."

"What?"

"Salvation is in the book of origin."

"Ok, Carter, find out what gobady gook this guy is talk about. Teal'C, see if you can trade staffs, his looks cooler."


***


*SG-1 is captured and being tortured by the Ori*

"All those that believe will find the path to enlightenment."

"Look, your religion seems nice and all but I'm not really into the whole fire and brimstone thing."

"All those that do not believe will be destroyed."

"Can I believe on a part-time basis? Maybe nights and weekends only?"

*Ori shocks O'Neill."

"Ugh ... Full ... Time will do."

HirogenGater
February 12th, 2006, 02:16 PM
Prior: "Hallowed are the Ori."

O'Neill: "Ah, wrong genre buddy, LOTR on stage 4B. And it’s Orc."

Jackson: <Whimsical look>

O’Neill: “Yes, Daniel …. I read …” “Ok, …. Cliff Notes.”

That's a good one.:)

AGateFan
February 12th, 2006, 02:30 PM
Jack: Well this is a cliche.

EDIT:

Jack : Let me guess, you are more powerful than we can possibly imagine, resistance is futile and if we don’t give you exactly what you want you will get really really mad and declare Jihad on us. We are Dooooommmmmeeed... Is that about right?

contact2918
February 12th, 2006, 02:32 PM
Prior: When Hanomir fell from above and learned to fly on the way down, that was a miracle.

Jack: Well, you obviously never saw the 1980 US Hockey Team. That was a miracle!

joshuaselig
February 12th, 2006, 02:52 PM
Prior: Hallowed are the Ori

Daniel: Now, Jack you have been away for sometime no wise cracks or jokes, these are not the Goa'uld ok?

Jack: So, they wouldn't like the Simpsons then?

Prior: Who are these Simpsons are they followers of the Ori?

Jack: (Sarcastically) Well... there is Homer, Marge, Bart and Lisa..

I know lame attempt :D

Antimatter Sam
February 12th, 2006, 03:53 PM
Jack: "Next time one of these guys shows up, JUST SHOOT HIM!"

DrMongol
February 12th, 2006, 03:59 PM
He'd turn to Teal'c and say

Jack: Aww, cmon Teal'c. He's not as ugly as you told me he was.

LORD MONK
February 12th, 2006, 04:02 PM
Jack: Is that all you got, a stick, know glowing eyes surounded by goons. Do you at least have a personal shield or something.

hypergate
February 12th, 2006, 04:47 PM
Prior: Their will be done.
Jack: You mean the Ori?
Prior: Who else could I mean?
Jack: You guys and your gods.
Prior: You will follow the Ori.
Jack: I can't follow what I can't see.
Prior: The Ori are a way of life.
Jack: My way of life involves a pond, preferably with no fish.
(Prior jams his staff into the ground and it glows)
Jack: Although that blue flashlight staff is tempting. Do they sell them in the gift shop?

Bragi
February 12th, 2006, 06:03 PM
SG-1 and Jack stand in a village on a planet where a Prior has been dispatched. The normal healthy debate has taken place with the standard "we know the Ori aren't gods" deal.

Prior: Surely you must recognize the power of the Ori.
(long pause)
Jack: Daniel, did he just call me Shirley?

Another standard Prior situation:

Prior: Hallowed are the Ori.
Jack: Yes, hallowed are the Ori.
Carter: Sir?
Jack: Just trying to shut him up, Carter <smiles>.

General O'Neill is visiting the SGC and is in the briefing room, there is no Prior present:

Jack: ...And these Priors?
Daniel: Represent the Ori, a race of ascended beings who at one time shared a society with the Ancients. Now at some point a division arose within Alterran, Ancient, society. The Ori began to take a more fundamentalist religious view of things and the Ancients... didn't. Their society was on the verge of civil war when the Ancients decided to flee their home galaxy for ours in order to avoid direct conflict. They've been able to keep our galaxy a secret for millions of years until Vala and I accidentally alerted them to our presence. Now the Ori are dispatching Priors to convert as many people here to Origin as possible so they can sapp their followers here of their power, once the Ori have taken enough power they will come here themselves and attempt to destroy the Ancients.
(A long pause ensues and Jack looks over each member of SG-1.)
Jack: Don't you just love it when he talks fast?

Another textbook SG-1/Prior meeting:

Prior: You are Jack O'Neill and SG-1. Your coming was foretold by the Ori, as was your world's submission to their will.
Jack: Really?
Prior: The Ori see all.
Jack: They didn't happen to foresee next week's lotto numbers, did they?

Or:

Prior: You are Jack O'Neill and SG-1. Your coming was foretold by the Ori, as was your world's submission to their will.
Jack: Really?
Prior: The Ori see all.
Jack: They didn't happen to foresee me shooting you, did they?
(The Prior looks on in curiosity.)
Jack: Carter!
(Carter activates the sonic device, which works. The Prior looks on in disbelief as his powers fail him. Jack takes aim, then Zats the Prior.)
Jack: Use the Force, Luke.
Mitchell: Oooooh...
(Everyone looks at Mitchell.)
Mitchell: I was saving that one, sir.

How it could have gone on P3X-421, the first SGC on Prior contact.

Prior: …as he lay there, dying in the sun, the sands of the desert all around him, Petrus spoke to the rock, not with his lips, but with his mind. And the rock wept tears of fresh water, and his thirst was quenched. Fear not the Ori. Fear the darkness that would conceal the knowledge of the universe. Believe in the truth of all things, and you too may find the path to enlightenment.
Mitchell: And a man has no greater thing under the sun than to eat, drink and be merry. Ecclesiastes. My favorite. My grandma was a bit of a bible thumper...
Jack: Nice work with the quote, Colonel.
Mitchell: Thank you, sir.
(The Prior turns his attention to Jack and Mitchell.)
Prior: I am a Prior of the Ori.
Jack: General Jack O'Neill, United States Air.....
Prior: Your arrival was foreseen.
Jack: ...Force. Is interrupting people a requirement for Priors?

Jack accompanies SG-1 to a world decimated by the Ori.

After surveying the damage.

Jack: Does anyone else miss when it was just the Goa'uld?
(A long pause, no one responds.)
Jack: I'm the only one, then?

Another encounter with a Prior.

Prior: The Ori's power cannot be denied. All who do not seek enlightenment and keep the innocent in darkness shall be destroyed! Hallowed are the Ori!
Jack: Ya know, I've heard this all before... Daniel, are you sure these guys don't have snakes in their heads?

/edit-

New one! A Prior decides to make a small demonstration of his power using his staff. Jack is somewhat impressed.

Jack: Teal'c, can your staff do that?
Teal'c: Indeed it cannot, O'Neill.
Jack: Because if it can, and you've been holding out on me all these years...

SG-1 and Jack confront a Prior they have seen before.

Prior: And the souls of their victims knew no peace, until the Ori came and whispered to them: sleep, for the end draws near! And on that day, all will rejoice, when the Ori come and lay them low.
Jack: Oh......... poppy-cock.
Daniel: Did you just say "poppy-cock?"

Back at the SGC briefing room...

Jack: Okay Carter, what do ya got?
Carter: Well General, Dr. Lee and I are working on a way of targeting and neutralizing the Prior's higher brain functions using a field generator emitting fluctuating ultrasonic frequencies.
Jack: I say "make me an anti-Prior gun" and this is what you come up with? Carter...
(The meeting has broken up.)
Daniel: Sam's doing the best she can, Jack.
Jack: I'm not blaming her, Daniel... it's society.
(Later, Jack is on his favorite red phone with his favorite Commander-In-Chief, Daniel peaks his head into Jack's office.)
Jack: No sir, it's not a gun... it's a...
(Jack looks to Daniel.)
Daniel: (Whispering/mouthing) Device.
Jack: Device! Sir...

RoMUS
February 13th, 2006, 01:39 PM
He would probly say somethin like YOU LIKE PIE?

Pharaoh Atem
March 5th, 2006, 06:31 PM
Jack- Daniel is this ..

Daniel -yes

Jack- wow

Carter -what?

Jack- you where right.

Jack- hands money to Daniel.

Daniel - ya and i don't even watch the Simpson's.

Carter - about what?

Teal'c -the old rich guy Monty burns and the prior

Jack -Mr. Burns

Mitchell -I read that you mention the gou'lud and burns in the mission report
when Anubis attacked earth. don't need to tell you how that ended

Jack -was it a good read?

Mitchell- it was OK.

I liked the one when the tok'ra gave you those wrist bands that made you guys like superheros cool file.

Carter -I don't understand.

Jack- me and Daniel had a bet who was uglier
the prior or MR. Burns.

Prior- looks confused.

Daniel - now what?

Jack -turns at Daniel with a little grin on his face.

Jack -turns back around and shots the prior with his P- 90

the prior falls to the ground

Jack -I thought you said that these guys where hard to kill

Carter- lucky shot?

Jack -disappointed.

Jack - teal'c even brought 2 p 90's just in case.

Carter- umm sir

Jack- yes carter.

Carter -teal'c brings 2 P 90's on all missions now

Jack -looks at teal'c

Teal'c- raises his eyebrow

Jack- NICE!!!

Ancient 1
March 5th, 2006, 07:22 PM
Jack: ...And now from the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey's circus, the ORIginal, Flameboy!

Korean_Turtle87
March 5th, 2006, 08:15 PM
I'll give this a shot...

Prior begins preaching from Book of Origin: "In the beginning...
Jack: "Do they all start out the same, how cliche' and you know how I hate cliche's..."

I tried....:D
i was thinkin more like

Prior: In the Beginning...
Jack: That is so a cliche

Klems
March 5th, 2006, 08:52 PM
1.

Jack: Eh, I've seen worse. *looks back at his team* Carter, remember the... uh big ugly...thing?
Carter: Unas, sir?
Jack: Yeah, that was definitely worse.

2.

Prior: In the beginning...
Jack: Why can't they come up with something more ORIginal?
(sorry Ancient 1, only thing I could come up with)

Mesenet
March 5th, 2006, 09:45 PM
jack: 'one word. cut back on the sunscreen.'

daniel: 'that isn't one word.'

jack: 'details...'


it sucks! :p


*misses jack*

Still too new to get a green gun that works (that or I haven't figured it out yet) - that's a decent Jack wisecrack

DrGemini2405
March 6th, 2006, 02:51 AM
Prior: (reads from the Book of Origin)
Jack: Oh, if this is another romance novel, heads are going to roll

Prior: (reads from BoO)
Jack: We have people like you back on Earth - they're called Evangelists

Prior: (A/A)
Jack: What's for dinner?

Prior: (A/A)
Jack: so the cops knew internal affairs had set them up?!

Prior: (A/A)
Jack: we have a book like that back home - it's called the Bible

Prior: (A/A)
Jack: Have you considered becoming a Jehovah's Witness?

Prior: (A/A)
Jack: (batman tune) nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, ori

Prior: (A/A)
Jack: so, what time d'ya finish tonight?

oh, I miss O'Neill...

Cassiopeia
March 7th, 2006, 06:03 AM
Ori: "Hallowed are the Ori."
Jack: "There are no fish in my pond."

____________________

(At a briefing)
Jack: "So these Hairy guys..."
Daniel: "Ori."
Jack: "Whatever!"

____________________


Ori: "Hallowed are the Ori."
Jack (quietly to himself): "Hallow Ori...."
Daniel: "Jack...!"
Jack: "Sorry..."


____________________


Ori:"...And all those who do not follow the path of Origin will be destroyed...."
Jack (looking around for nearest anti-Ori weapon): "Yada..."


____________________


Ori: "..And the Ori are all-knowing...."
Jack: "Whoa, hold it there big fella. Teal'c, tell him that Jaffa joke of yours..."
Teal'c raises one eyebrow and then proceeds to tell his Jaffa joke about the Serpent guard, Horus guard and Sekesh guard, finishing with the punchline and a guffaw of laughter.
Jack and the Prior exchange a look.
Jack (to Teal'c): "See, even HE doesn't get it and he's supposed to be all-knowing."


_____________________


Ori: "In the beginning..."
Jack: "Excuse me. Could you just bottom line this for me? I don't want to miss the Simpsons..."

ancientaction
March 7th, 2006, 09:27 AM
Prior: In the beginning...
Jack: Wait a second, do we really need to hear the beginning.
Prior: The Ori are the beginning.
Jack: What's the end... Iro?
Prior: Your humor does not amuse the Ori.
Jack: Well, they made you. That proves they have a sense of humor.
(Ominous laughter comes from no where)
Prior: What have I done to displease you?
(Ominous voice): The one called Jack has amused us, we no longer need you.
The prior walks away and goes through the gate.
Jack: You can come out now.
Daniel: I can't believe they fell for that.
Jack: Anyone ever tell you that you'd make quite an actor.


LOL

da_hippie
March 7th, 2006, 10:32 AM
Prior: Come...Join the Ori.
Jack: Will there be beer?

Tealcfan
March 7th, 2006, 10:56 AM
prior: the ori are all knowing
Jack: do they know why there is no fish in my pond?

lazerbrain
March 7th, 2006, 01:28 PM
Prior: In the beginning . . .
Jack: Hey, buddy. Think we might be able to hurry this up. Carter and I have a thing . . . and duh . . . you don't want to get on her bad side.

lazerbrain
March 7th, 2006, 01:29 PM
Jack- Daniel is this ..

Daniel -yes

Jack- wow

Carter -what?

Jack- you where right

jack- hands money to Daniel

Daniel -ya and i don't even watch the Simpson's

Carter - about what

teal'c -the old rich guy Monty and the prior

jack -Burns

Mitchell -i read that you mention the gou'lud and burns in the mission report
when Anubis attacked earth. don't need to tell you how that ended

Jack -was it a good read?

Mitchell- it was OK

i liked the one when the tok'ra gave you those wrist bands cool file

carter -i don't understand

me and Daniel had a bet who was uglier
the prior or Monty Burns

prior- looks confused

Daniel - now what

jack -turns at Daniel with a little grin on his face

jack -turns back around and shots the prior with his p 90

the prior falls to the ground

jack -i thought you said that these guys where hard to kill

carter- lucky shot?

jack -disappointed

jack - teal'c even brought 2 p 90's just in case

carter- umm sir

jack- yes carter

carter -teal'c brings 2 p 90's on all missions now

jack -looks at teal'c

teal'c- raises his eyebrow

jack- NICE!!!

This is good stuff!!! :D :D :D

jazz!
March 7th, 2006, 01:32 PM
Classic Jack:

Prior: Follow the path to orign...Unbelivers will be purged!
Jack: (sarcastically) well this is a clich&#233;

Pain in the mikta
March 12th, 2006, 06:53 PM
:jack_new_anime06: :jack_new_anime07: :jack_new_anime06: :jack_new_anime07: :jack_new_anime06: :jack_new_anime07: :jack_new_anime06: :jack_new_anime07: :jack_new_anime06: :jack_new_anime07: :jack_new_anime06: :jack_new_anime07:

Jee! Guys! You had me ROFL!
<dabbing eyes>

Most of this would have been classic Jack lines!
Thanks for the laughs!

And, oh yes, I miss him!

Tiret
March 12th, 2006, 07:18 PM
:jack_new_anime18: Jack: You look a little pale...

Tiret
March 12th, 2006, 07:21 PM
(Jack shoots the prior but doesn't get through)
Or not. Hey you wouldn't be able to tell me how to kill you?

I really like this one for some reason... :D

Pharaoh Atem
March 12th, 2006, 07:28 PM
:jack_new_anime06: :jack_new_anime07: :jack_new_anime06: :jack_new_anime07: :jack_new_anime06: :jack_new_anime07: :jack_new_anime06: :jack_new_anime07: :jack_new_anime06: :jack_new_anime07: :jack_new_anime06: :jack_new_anime07:

Jee! Guys! You had me ROFL!
<dabbing eyes>

Most of this would have been classic Jack lines!
Thanks for the laughs!

And, oh yes, I miss him!
thanks glad you enjoyed my thread so much thats why i made this thread
i knew a lot of people miss jack and i was wondering how he would deal with a prior

i had my user name change since the ones that say nightwing are me

Simhavaktra
March 12th, 2006, 07:53 PM
Marines escort another Prior into the SGC conference room.
Jack: "Daniel! Damnit, there's another Prior in here! How many times do I have to tell you to put up that No Soliciting sign!"

Prior makes pronouncement of doom.
O'Neill rolls his eyes, slaps at a mosquito, and frowns at Prior's staff: "Hey, if that thing works like a bug zapper too, can I borrow it a minute?"

Jack eyes Prior.
Jack: "So that's a Prior."
Daniel: "Yeah - that's a Prior."
Jack: "Ouch. So - what does the After look like?"

Prior: "You must follow the way of Origin."
Jack: "Does it lead to cake?"

James_the_Wraith_Sympathiser
March 12th, 2006, 09:59 PM
Prior: Greetings Jack O'Neill.
Jack: Look, I know the Ori are all knowing yadda yadda yadda....just don't tell me what happened on the Simpsons last night.
(Quizzical look from Tealc)
Jack: What? I taped it but haven't watched it yet!

*Prior steps through the gate*
Jack (to Sam): Look, as much as I hate the Goa'uld....they are much snappier dressers than these guys.

Tealcfan
March 13th, 2006, 03:27 PM
Prior: You must follow the path of Origin
Jack: Why?
Prior: It leads to enlightenment
Jack: Will i learn what will happen on the simpsons tommorow?
Prior: (looks confused)
Jack: Or why i have no fish in my pond?
Prior: (now very confused)
Jack: How about why Teal'c is bringing two P-90s on his missions?
Jack: And what's up with his hair?

Pain in the mikta
March 14th, 2006, 05:38 PM
Prior: You must follow the path of Origin
Jack: Why?
Prior: It leads to enlightenment
Jack: Will i learn what will happen on the simpsons tommorow?
Prior: (looks confused)
Jack: Or why i have no fish in my pond?
Prior: (now very confused)
Jack: How about why Teal'c is bringing two P-90s on his missions?

And more importantly: what's with the hair!?

:jack_new_anime04:

Tealcfan
March 14th, 2006, 05:42 PM
And more importantly: what's with the hair!?

:jack_new_anime04:

ohh forgot it I'll just go edit it now *goes and edits*

HyperCaz
March 17th, 2006, 07:00 PM
these lines are exactly the sort of thing season 9 was missing :(

great stuff everyone!

Tau'ri_Attitude
March 18th, 2006, 01:17 PM
[Jack speaking to an alien race recently visited by a Prior]
Jack: How could you listen to someone who looks like he took a shower in bleach?:jack:

Eye Of Ra
March 19th, 2006, 02:53 PM
Yeah Yeah Take It Easy There Staff Boy

HyperCaz
March 19th, 2006, 11:06 PM
i'm going to have an attempt :)

[upon seeing the supergate]
Jack: We can make bigger, right?

[to prior on Origin]
Jack: My book must be missing a few pages - you know, the ones about killing people.

Andrew Joshua Talon
April 10th, 2006, 10:03 AM
Jack: (shakes his head at the Supergate fiasco) Guys... What did I tell you about sitting there and taking fire? It was a bad thing, right?

Jakebbq
April 23rd, 2006, 07:35 PM
(apon seeing an ori)
Jack: guys why did you hire a clown i hate clowns
Daniel: um Jack that is a Prior
Prior: hallowed are the ori
Jack: get away from me clown
(Jack takes a few steps back)
Jack: gonna die clown
(Jack start shooting)
Jack: why wont you die
(Jack pulls a rocket launcher from no where)
Prior: your weapons are useles against me
(Jack fires)
Prior: oh sh**
(the Prior goes kablammo)
Jack: and thats how you deal with clowns kids

Pharaoh Atem
April 23rd, 2006, 07:48 PM
(apon seeing an ori)
Jack: guys why did you hire a clown i hate clowns
Daniel: um Jack that is a Prior
Prior: hallowed are the ori
Jack: get away from me clown
(Jack takes a few steps back)
Jack: gonna die clown
(Jack start shooting)
Jack: why wont you die
(Jack pulls a rocket launcher from no where)
Prior: your weapons are useles against me
(Jack fires)
Prior: oh sh**
(the Prior goes kablammo)
Jack: and thats how you deal with clowns kids

:prioranime01: :jack_new_anime25: did you have a bad experance with clowns :P

Jakebbq
April 23rd, 2006, 08:31 PM
no they are just creepy especially the ones on stilts

Primus Commander Woden
April 24th, 2006, 03:15 AM
ok here we go

Jack: Why what awefully big stick you have!
Prior: Hallowed are the Ori
Jack: So you trying to make up for something or what?

carcatcher
April 24th, 2006, 04:45 AM
Same thing Mitchell said once "Man, you're F'ugly" when he sees the Prior

teknikal
April 24th, 2006, 10:30 AM
Jack:
na na na na na na na na leader

na na na na na na na na leader

leader
leader
Batman!!
i mean Ori!!
*opens fire on them*

Bragi
April 24th, 2006, 10:46 AM
Daniel: I'm just not seeing it.
Jack: Oh come on guys, it's so clear: Burns as Ori.
*Pause*
Jack: Alright, that's it. The DVDs are going to Bragi. He gets it.
*Pause*
Bragi: I don't really get it.... I just like free DVD's. :D

suse
April 24th, 2006, 11:29 AM
"Why are you wearing a toilet seat around your head?"

Though I suppost that's more the Doci.

My answer to the question: It goes to well with the toilet bowl ships.

Suse

BC - 303
April 24th, 2006, 03:19 PM
Prior, The ori are all knowing
Jack, Well mabey they can tell me why the hell there are fish in my pond!

captain jake
April 24th, 2006, 06:30 PM
Jack- Wow you should check out that eye problem cause thats........... wow
prior- stairs
Sam- Sir
Jack- for crying out loud carter he looks like he is freaking possesed somebody had to say something.

Pharaoh Atem
April 24th, 2006, 07:34 PM
would jack get cofused when the prior starts talking about the book of origin

remember what jack used to put everyone thought never understanding what carter said and the poor jaffa always giving them a hard time.

so now apply everything jack used to do to the jaffa, tok'ra,tollen,goul'lud, and so on

try something original
wow i didn't think this thread was going to take off when i made it thanks guys and reading this also reminds me how much we all miss Jack (nothing agaist Ben I really enjoy him to.


Jack hi

prior you like homer simpsons

Jack blank look

carter how did he know that he's never met the general

prior the ori are all knowning

Jack shots the priior

I bet you didn't see that coming did ya

jash
April 24th, 2006, 08:38 PM
Prior hands Jack the book of Origin. Jack flips through a couple of pages. Then he says," Theres a two problems, one I can't read this crap, I don't even know what language this is, and two you need to use a bigger font cause my eyes are what they used to be."

captain jake
April 24th, 2006, 08:40 PM
HAHA good one.

Happy_Gate
April 24th, 2006, 10:24 PM
Apologies if someone already said this one, too lazy to read prev. posts

Prior : Hallowed are the Ori!

Jack : Hollowed are the Ori? Do you mean the Ori are like doughnuts? (pause) What type of sprinkles are we talking about here?

teknikal
April 25th, 2006, 08:30 AM
Bow to the ori!
Jack: bow?really?see my knees aint what they used to be..

Prior: BOW TO THE ORI!!!

Jack:1.hell no!! the only religion ill bow to is the altar of matt groening..

Pharaoh Atem
April 25th, 2006, 09:16 AM
Daniel this is a prior

Jack the ones with those really big ships

daniel yes

Jack there don't look scary

prior hallowed are the ori

Jack how much do you get paid a hour to say that to everyone

prior blank look

carter i wouldn't try to get him up set there can use there telakitc powers to hurt you

jack tele what?

teal'c a prior once took col. mitchell and held him high the air

Mitchell don't remind me

prior raises his staff as everyone is talking starts chating

Jack turns around would you shut up for a minute where talking

(under his breath)
these guys are worse then the goa'lud

Valaslonglostsister
April 25th, 2006, 01:31 PM
Ori-When it all began......
Jack- Oh, come on! Why can't ANYONE ever start with, "Once upon a time"???!!!

I gave it my best! :jack_new_anime06: :indeed: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Allestian
April 26th, 2006, 05:57 AM
Prior: Hallowed are the Ori.

Jack: Really? I was thinking more along the lines of Hallowed are the Simpsons but I'm not gonna stop you. *Pats him on the back* You seem to have a good thing going there.

*Turns to his team*

Jack: Let's get out of here. That C4 on his back is set to go.

Okay that was really bad.

Pharaoh Atem
April 26th, 2006, 06:13 AM
Prior: Hallowed are the Ori.

Jack: Really? I was thinking more along the lines of Hallowed are the Simpsons but I'm not gonna stop you. *Pats him on the back* You seem to have a good thing going there.

*Turns to his team*

Jack: Let's get out of here. That C4 on his back is set to go.

Okay that was really bad.

not sure if the c4 would stick but that was funny

:lol:

teknikal
April 27th, 2006, 04:34 AM
Prior: HALLOWED ARE THE ORI!!!!!!

Jack: hallowed are the OREO'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ummmmm oreos..anyone got any in their packs?

Jumper One
April 28th, 2006, 05:25 PM
Prior: HALLOWER ARE THE ORI!!!!!!

Jack: hallowed are the OREO'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 ummmmm oreos..anyone got any in their packs?

Teal'c: I believe I do, O'Neill. :tealc:

captain jake
April 28th, 2006, 06:03 PM
Teal'c: I believe I do, O'Neill. :tealc:
Sam- is this realy the time sir?

lvlister2005
May 19th, 2006, 03:18 AM
Prior: In the Beginnning... BLAH BLAH BLAH

Jack: Are these guys from the same person (clone) because all they say is the same crap.

Teal'c: What's an Oprah? (couldnt resist)

teknikal
August 3rd, 2006, 05:05 AM
Sam- is this realy the time sir?


Jack: Shh!!*holds up hand.. signals team to get get down*..*whispers* .theres always time for Oreo's *opens pack*

Daniel: jaaaack!

Jack: ummmmm sacrelicious....

Commander Jumper
August 3rd, 2006, 05:32 AM
Jack: Shh!!*holds up hand.. signals team to get get down*..*whispers* .theres always time for Oreo's *opens pack*

Daniel: jaaaack!

Jack: ummmmm sacrelicious....
:lol: you are so getting greened for that.....:D

prior: and thus began the war between Origin and Ancient....brother against brother..................

Jack:Really interresting.....tell me more

prior: the age long battle wore on.....both side with power too great

Jack: continue
Sam: Sir???
Jack: Wait for it Carter

prior: And even unto this day an eternal battle wears on

Jack: and how does that make you feel?

prior: that is why all unbelievers shall be made unto dust if they refuse the teachings of Origin......

Jack: that's all fine and dandy......but I get scarier people arriving on my doorstep on Saturday mornings than you.

prior: :confused:

Jack: let me explain, right now you are standing on enough C4 to blow us all to hell....or what ever you guys call it......in my hand is a device that will activate it......

prior: so you refuse

Jack: oh yes!!!

prior *pushes button with mind* *place blows up* *dust clears an SG-1 are ok* *Prior is very dead*

Sam: when were you going to tell him you had a shield sir???

Jack: I thought thr Ori knew all.

teknikal
August 4th, 2006, 06:22 AM
Proir: and the world shall revel in the power that is the ori..those who reject our teaching shall suffer ...


Jack: jeez..ive seen info-mercials on cable scarier than this

Pharaoh Atem
August 4th, 2006, 06:28 AM
(SG-1 is in the ori galaxy)

we see jack talking to the villagers in the distant we see a prior walking towards the village as the prior approaches SG-1 hides in allay( we hear jack whisper now remember what i told you)

prior Hallowed are the children are the ori

Villagers Hallowed are we Wacko are the ori

prior turns around in shock

Villagers get nervous Hallowed are the ori

Jack in the distant I told you there going to chicken out

mother-goose
August 5th, 2006, 02:06 AM
Jack: *looks at staff* hmmmm
Prior: Do want the power of the ori bestowed upon you?
Jack: No, well not really, I was just surprised you priors were in to morris dancing...

Lord_Minister
August 5th, 2006, 03:00 AM
would jack get cofused when the prior starts talking about the book of origin

remember what jack used to put everyone thought never understanding what carter said and the poor jaffa always giving them a hard time.

so now apply everything jack used to do to the jaffa, tok'ra,tollen,goul'lud, and so on

try something original
well what ever it was it would be his last... lol

teknikal
August 5th, 2006, 06:43 AM
jack watches in the bushes as a prior makes a villager float in the air

Jack: 'hey there blimpy boy..flying through the sky so fancy free'

RoMUS
August 8th, 2006, 08:04 AM
Prior: Have you read the book of Origin
O'Neill: I've got it on tape. Don't tell me how it ends

Prior: Have you read the book of Origin
O'Neill: Waiting for the movie!
Nice dress....whats the size

penguininablender
August 8th, 2006, 08:13 AM
Jack (to ori) *looks closely at face* Man, you are pasty. You should really consider getting a membership at a tanning salon.

Amann
August 8th, 2006, 09:15 AM
Pryor: All must convert to origin or be destroyed!
Jack: Is there beer?

Andrew Joshua Talon
August 8th, 2006, 02:15 PM
Jack: Okay... Daniel, you were Ascended. Mind explaining the facts of life to Whitey here?
Prior: ...

RoMUS
August 10th, 2006, 04:07 AM
What the hells its ragody andy

Leach
August 10th, 2006, 12:23 PM
Prior: hallowed are the Ori
Jack: yum Oreo’s I love them will there be milk too
Prior: what?
Jack: cause there not the same with out milk

Prior: the Ori see all
Jack: really can you tell me what’s going to happen on lost?

Prior: the Ori see all
Jack: really how bout a trip to Vegas just you, me and those gods of yours
Daniel: *glares at Jack* Jack what are you doing
Jack: fine then you can come too

Jack: have you herd the one about the dog and the dancing monkeys

Jack: you know if you guys are so enlightened can you answer some questions for me
1.how much deeper would the ocean be if there weren't any sponges in it?
2.Do bald people get dandruff?
3."Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?
4.If it doesn't matter if you win or lose then why have a scoreboard?
5.Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
6.How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of murdered?
7.How come there's no mouse flavoured cat food?
8.Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
9.If a turtle looses its shell is it naked or just homeless?
And last but not lest 10.Which is worse, if nothing ever matters or if everything always matters???
Prior: *stands there with very confused look on his face*

Prior: all the unbelievers will be vanquished
Jack: you have a stick that lights up and I have a P90 and C4 I think I win

(same as the last but with a Macgver twist)
Prior: all the unbelievers will be vanquished
Jack: you have a stick that lights up and I have duct tape I think I win

:jack_new_anime06:

Commander Jumper
August 11th, 2006, 09:46 AM
(I'm stealing from the Simpsons ok)

Jack: hey prior man....could your "Gods" make a burrito so hot...that they themselves cannot eat it?

Prior: :confused: Burrito?

teknikal
August 11th, 2006, 01:42 PM
Prior: you wave your weapon to show your power.with origin knowledge is power

Jack: not waving...Pointing!!!!

teknikal
August 13th, 2006, 05:33 AM
Daniel: who would have thought stealing a Goa'uld mothership would be so...fun

Jack: *in his head* 'stealing stealing stealing a car for moe'

Orici icirO
August 13th, 2006, 11:31 AM
:jack: Origin aint that south of Washington?

DaveSG-3
August 13th, 2006, 11:36 AM
would jack get cofused when the prior starts talking about the book of origin

remember what jack used to put everyone thought never understanding what carter said and the poor jaffa always giving them a hard time.

so now apply everything jack used to do to the jaffa, tok'ra,tollen,goul'lud, and so on

try something original
i wouldn't say anything, i turn on a prior power disruptor, and shoot him on sight

teknikal
August 23rd, 2006, 05:58 AM
Prior: i am a prior

Jack: you're from a rehab center??

Daniel: jack...thats priorY..not prior

Jack: oh! well..he looks like he needs one

Commander Jumper
August 23rd, 2006, 11:16 AM
Ori: we are more powerfull, we will conquer all

Jack: sorry you'll never get the chance to take over, you've been cancelled....

jesserella
August 23rd, 2006, 11:22 AM
Ori: we are more powerfull, we will conquer all

Jack: sorry you'll never get the chance to take over, you've been cancelled....

:danielanime08:

Commander Jumper
August 23rd, 2006, 11:34 AM
:danielanime08:
*Hugs Jesse* Sorry I'm making light of the situation...but laughter heals all wounds....

bandras
August 26th, 2006, 01:31 PM
I'll try my best...


Jack goes offworld with his 'old' team, they are approaching a village, and before they get there, they notice, that there's a prior there, talking to the people.

Daniel : Prior...

They hide in a bush

Jack whispers : Pryor? Harlem nights was good... But where's the beard...and the tan?

Hooperman1990
August 26th, 2006, 03:15 PM
Prior: The book of origin says "All who do not follow origin must be destroyed"
Jack: The fisherman times says fishing is best around summertime, look how wrong they were!

takinspace
August 27th, 2006, 01:18 PM
Prior: All who do not seek enlightenment through Origin shall be swept away...
Jack: You know, it is kind of bright in here. Can we shut some of those spots down?

stewsith
August 27th, 2006, 02:54 PM
Jack sees a prior...

(imagine in rda's voice)
Jack: wooow! You aught to think about some new moisturiser or something, your getting a bit pale there.
Prior: You will join origin or die..
Jack: humm, let me think about that for a second.....*suddenly fires P90 at prior*

Callista
August 27th, 2006, 06:26 PM
spoiler for the Shroud
"Daniel? Is that you?"
I know, it's not funny. It's the only thing I could think of at the moment. :o

Hathor! Your Goddess!
August 27th, 2006, 06:36 PM
Jack, "Oh! For crying out loud!" :jack_new15:

Jakebbq
August 28th, 2006, 06:08 AM
Teal'c: What's an Oprah? (couldnt resist)
this is for teal'c so he can learn about oprah http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Oprah

Sandmonkey
September 10th, 2006, 05:53 PM
Nice stick

Pharaoh Atem
December 9th, 2006, 06:08 PM
Jack ...hey you want some beer

prior what is beer

jack here have some

prior drinks .. falls to the ground

jacks oops sorry that was the rat poison

Hooperman1990
December 10th, 2006, 04:11 AM
Jack: So if you turn that stick upside down does it sound like rain?
Prior: Well actually... *turns staff upside down, dodgy rain noise* :jack:

MechaThor
December 10th, 2006, 04:31 AM
Jack: You know do you guys ever relaxe i mean you are looking a little pastey... Hay heres an idea you ever gone fishing?

Caldwell's 2IC
December 18th, 2006, 01:44 PM
Jack sees a prior.

"Man ! What the heck happened to you ? You look like crap..."

susanne
December 19th, 2006, 09:03 AM
jack: are you the wizard of oz?

.jolinar.
December 27th, 2006, 09:17 AM
-Prior: "All who refuse to follow the path to enlightment shall be destroyed"
-Jack: "I'm sorry, what was your point?"

-Prior: "you must follow the path to enlightenment"
-Jack: "Will there be cake at the end?"

-Prior: "Those who are pridefull and refuse to bow down shall be laid low and made unto dust"
-Jack: *Stares*...I'm hungry

-Prior: "Convert to Origin or be destroyed!"
-Jack: *Silence*
-Prior: *Getting Impatient* "Well?"
-Jack: "I'm thinking!"

chyron
December 30th, 2006, 03:55 PM
Jack: You're skin looks dry...would you like some analgesic cream?

chyron
December 30th, 2006, 03:56 PM
Jack: Got a light?

chyron
December 30th, 2006, 03:58 PM
Jack: You know I bet the women Priors are just smoking hot!

chyron
December 30th, 2006, 04:01 PM
Jack: So if I convert to Origin, does that mean that I have to give up Guiness?

chyron
December 30th, 2006, 04:06 PM
Jack:Darn! Wouldn't you know that my copy of "Origin for Dummies" is still on backorder.

Planetary_Alliance
December 31st, 2006, 07:30 AM
*O'Neill walks through the stargate talking with daniel*

O'Neill: I need a seven letter word.
Daniel: I told Sam I wouldn't help you

Prior:Hallowed are the ori

O'Neill: : Then this will be the one thing she doesn't know. Up, Down, Charmed . . .

Prior: all who dont bow shall be destroyed.

Daniel: 'Strange'
O'Neill: Yeah. Well, thanks anyway.

Prior: HALLOWED ARE THE ORI

*Carter steps through the gate*

O'Neill: here you go. I belive it was double or nothing

Daniel: UH guys

Prior: (something about origin)

Carter: Twenty-three across, the atomic weight of Boron. The answer is 'ten'.
O'Neill: Yes?
Carter: You wrote the word 'fat'.
O'Neill: Your point?

PRIOR: EXCUSE ME

O'Neill: Excuse me this is a double or nothing game.

Carter: The clue for 7 Down is ‘celestial body', and he wrote ‘Uma Thurman.'
O'Neill: Yes

Daniel: Thats a prior.
O'Neill: your point?

Pharaoh Atem
March 18th, 2007, 02:32 AM
spolier for THE SHROUD sg1 season 10



DANIEL
That's crazy!
O'NEILL
That's what I said! It's crazy, it's nuts, it's whacko! But let's be honest, what isn't?
DANIEL
Jack, I'm the only one who should be going. It's too dangerous for anyone else.
O'NEILL
Not if you give me the intel we need!
DANIEL
It's my plan!
[O'Neill stops pacing and moves closer to Daniel.]

O'NEILL
It was a bad one! C'mon, Daniel! You had to know we weren't going to shut down that Supergate for you.
DANIEL
(speaking formally)
We had no choice.
[O'Neill rolls his eyes.]

O'NEILL
(annoyed)
Oh, now it's "we"!?
DANIEL
(frustrated)
You've been in my position before…well, not this one, but…similar!
O'NEILL
Yes, I'm sure I have. But my brain's been messed with so much over the years, I don't remember.
DANIEL
(suddenly realizing)
Wait a second, with your way, you still need to shut down the Supergate!
[O'Neill makes a face.]

O'NEILL
C'mon, where's the ship? How does Carter fly it? Give me any other intel I might need to make this op a success. C'mon!
[Daniel is ignoring him, so O'Neill crouches to make eye contact.]

O'NEILL
(coaxingly)
Trusting you.
[Daniel shakes the restraints of his chair and rolls his eyes at O'Neill.]

DANIEL
(bitingly)
Oh, yes. I really feel the faith.
O'NEILL
Well, now you have to trust us. Let us finish what you started.

chyron
March 20th, 2007, 04:35 PM
"You scare me...you really scare me...but no so much that I need a change of underwear"