You Know You're A Gate Head When...

[Zelazny]

...you think WWJD? means: What Would Jack Do?

[DavidNetk]

You are better known on the Internet Stargate forums than in real life.

You have taken to raising an eyebrow when you are surprised or suspicious.

You name your four fish Jack, Samantha, Daniel, and Teal'c.

Your Internet bookmarks are all Stargate related.

You greet people with 'Cumtraya!' and a clap of your hands.

You write your English final focusing on how Stargate has changed your life.

You have seen each episode at least five times.

Even if you're talking to someone who neither knows nor cares about Stargate, you can't help but slip in quotes that you've memorised from Stargate quote pages on the Internet.

You meet someone; you automatically ask yourself which Stargate character they are most like.

Your friends are fighting, and you shame them by telling them that the Nox wouldn't like what they are doing.

You started studying Egyptology so you'd know all about Ra and Apophis.

You filled out a yearbook form for the kids in your school, and in the spot for 'Best Couple', you wrote 'Daniel and Sha're'.

You just picked out a green jacket and intend on getting patches somewhere.

Your favourite words are 'Enigma' and 'Cumtraya'.

You refuse to eat shrimp because they look too much like Goa'ulds.

You can't talk more than ten minutes without muttering, 'Oh for crying out loud...'.

You sit on the ice in the winter just to see what it felt like for Sam and Jack.

You have printed up 'Quotes of the Day' and hang them up in your house.

You read a 400-page book on astrophysics, closed it, and couldn't remember a thing.

You permed your hair because you loved Kendra's hair so much.

You stop hanging out with people who dislike Stargate... Not that it matters since they stopped hanging out with you first.

The most exciting day of any week is the day a Stargate is on.

You shut off your phone ringer so you won't be disturbed when you're watching Stargate.

You start drawing the seventh Chevron on your hand like a tattoo.

You start to wonder if Stargate is real. The perfect way to make something unbelievable is to make it believable.

You start to see Ra and Apophis when you are trying to sleep. Argh!

You start buying an extra TV weekly whenever they talk about Stargate.

You catch yourself re-enacting the explosion of Ra's/Klorel's ships using PG Tips Pyramid bags.

You sit down to write a letter to Amanda Tapping, only to stop, realising that you don't know who she really is. You then write a letter to Sam Carter.

You’ll only watch a movie if it A) is Stargate, B) has one or more actors from the show in it, or C) has one or more actresses from the show in it.

You highlight when Stargate is on in the paper, then you put post-it notes all over the house so you won't forget (as if).

You’re going to dress up as a Goa'uld for Halloween. The tough part will be making your eyes glow. Hmm...

You wake up in the middle of the night with a new gate address.

Your cousin is having a baby and you suggest the names 'Samantha', 'Daniel', 'Jonathan', 'Teal'c', 'Janet', 'George', 'Sha're', 'Skaara', and 'Apophis'.

You personally celebrate the actors and actresses of Stargate's birthday.

You insist on travelling to the Giza plateau to try to find the DHD...

You watch every single Egyptian documentary in search of the missing Stargate... "Just in case".

You want to cruise down to Antarctica and find the second Stargate. It would go great in your living room.

Your friend has just come back from her holiday in Egypt, and says she visited Abydos, and you immediately think "where'd she get access to a Stargate?"

Daniel's dying doesn't even upset you anymore because you know he'll be back.

You get mad when Daniel has a new girlfriend because you feel he is cheating on Sha'uri even though she is dead!

You use words like "For crying out loud" "Campers" "Ya think".

You are down at Fort Lee (or any other military base) for the weekend visiting a friend and you ask countless people where Gen. Hammond's office is. Because you have classified information on the Stargate project he must hear…

You start to think a military career and a PhD in Quantum Physics is something you might actually want to do for a living.

You first meet someone you instinctively pull up their shirt and make sure they don't have a pouch in their stomach before you become friends with them.

You count the days until the next episode airs.

You say the reason you don't get sick is because of "junior".

You have memorised all the symbols on the Stargate.

You force snakes to keep their distance so they don't take over your body.

You quote lines verbatim after seeing an episode once.

You’ve nicknamed your best friend "Space Monkey".

You begin raising your eyebrow like Teal'c.

You spend countless hours in front of the mirror trying to make your eyes glow.

After every episode you go around calling your brother Daniel just so that you can say 'God-damn it,
Daniel!' and drive the rest of your family crazy by speaking in a deep voice and saying 'I AM APOPHIS!!! I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL!!!'


You start looking for a DHD every time you enter an unknown place.

You use your telescope to try and find Thor's Chariot in orbit above Earth.

You put a large paper Stargate around your door and to whoever tries to come in you make them "DIAL" in their address.

You wave stones over your book. Hoping it'll change pages.

For vacation you think of going to Chulak.

You shave your head, somehow get a gold moulding of a snake on your forehead and refuse to discuss where it came from.

You end up after school writing 500x "I am not a Goa'uld" on the board.

You start translating hieroglyphics in your dreams.

You skip any parties or social outings that interfere with your watching Stargate SG-1.

When bored, you scrawl the address codes for various systems on bits of paper.

You join the military, get top security clearances, and try to get yourself posted to the SGC.

When you meet new people, you automatically check their necks for the telltale signs of Goa'uld infestation.

You consider Area 51 to be boring. Area 52... now *that's* the place to be!

You steer clear of anyone wearing a gold glove on their left hand.

You don't like buildings, which are pyramid, shaped; in fact, they just freak you out.

You set to work on designing the circuitry for your own staff weapon / Zatt gun.

You start referring to your umbrella as a staff weapon and offer to show everyone how it works.

You cut your hand badly and when someone offers assistance you shake your head and say, "Nah. It's okay. My Goa'uld symbiote will heal it."

As you bleed to death you can't understand why your symbiote hasn't healed it yet.

You tell your partner, "We're out of milk. I'll just gate over to Sainsbury's and get some."

You train your dog to sit using the command, "Rover! KREE!"

When Rover refuses to Kree, you brand him a traitor, burn his house, and drive his wife and pups into the slums.

You announce that, "We are the mother of all the pharaohs."

You build a full-scale model of the Stargate in the garden.

You start building a DHD bird table to match the Stargate in the garden.

You're attending a speech on "Viking Times" and you stand up and say, "THOR WAS AN ALIEN".

You start referring to public phones as DHD's.

When asked if you've seen the remote control for the TV, you reply: "When I was the first prime of Apophis, he commanded that I retrieve such a device. He took the lives of three of my men as punishment for failure."

You're constantly interrupting your boss at the office in front of his superiors with the phrase 'With all due respect, sir...', before proceeding to contradict everything he has just said, and make him look like an idiot.

You tend to shout 'For crying out LOUD!' a lot when you don't get your own way.

You find yourself looking up KREE in the Oxford English Dictionary.

Instead of saying "go to hell" you say "go to Sokar".

You start singing "Row, row, row, your boat" and don't know why.

You get kicked out of a cafeteria for giggling hysterically "Kree! Kree!" at the pack of jaffa cakes for sale...

You like sticking moss in your hair.

When someone says "Michael Shanks? Who's that?" they are forced to sedate you.

You tell the hairdresser you want it short, blonde and layered on top. It kind of turns out like Sam's... what a surprise!


You can identify a season by everyone's haircuts or facial hair pattern.

Your lottery numbers are the same as the co-ordinates to Klorel's ship... You know you've done right when you win a tenner on those numbers...


You are evicted from your history class for your theories on cross-cultural polynisation and the fact that you said the pyramids were landing sites for alien spacecraft.

Whenever you do your "reply-to" address you always add the earth symbol straight after your Postcode/Zipcode.

When dialling a phone you feel the need to go: "Number 1 encoded! Number 2 encoded!" and, "Incoming phone call! It's my Mother sir! Open the voice box!"

When you hear about voices in people's heads, you wonder if it is Urgo.

When someone seems not to be paying attention you shout "Kree!" at them.


You call your cat "Schroedinger".


You know all planet addresses by heart, but you forget the phone numbers of your friends.

You have all episodes on tape, CD, ASF files and DVD.

You can name all the episodes... in reverse chronological order...

You always panic when you hear heavy boots clunking towards you.


* these were stolen from http://www.stormpages.com/cccarters...ab/Toomuch.html
and
http://www.gaters.net/showthread.php?t=2029

[Zelazny]

Holy rusted metal, Batman! Wow, DavidNetk. You really went all out! Very funny and very true!

You refuse to eat shrimp because they look too much like Goa'ulds.

Oh, dude! How am I gonna eat shrimp NOW?!

[thorshammer]

You use a M.A.L.P. to find out what is for dinner.

[DavidNetk]

I just thought they were hilarious!
But I can't take the credit, I took those from another forum and they took it from another website.

Glad you enjoyed them.

[Zelazny]

I just thought they were hilarious!
But I can't take the credit, I took those from another forum and they took it from another website.

Glad you enjoyed them.

Well, at any rate, still very funny!

[ra-hanna]

The other day I had shrimp cocktail. It's a good thing I hadn't read that shrimp look like gou'ld. I never would have touched it. Don't think I ever will again!

[Zelazny]

...While explaining Stargate to a friend, when you get to the part about Ba'al, your friend smacks you on the back.

"Ouch! Whad'ya do that for?!"

"Ya seemed to be hiccupping or something."

"Huh?"

"Whenever you tried to say ball, you hiccupped."

"No, no, no. The Goa'uld's NAME is Ba'al. Get it? BA-AL."

"Uh, okay."

"Good. Now, as I was saying, Ba'al took-"

*SMACK!*

"OW! Would you STOP that?!?!"

[SilverRider]

when you keep watching you dvd's over and over again....

[alexia_star_2002]

when you keep watching you dvd's over and over again....

Hey there is nothing wrong with that... ...I watch them (actually listen) while I'm working on my scrapbook....it's gotten so bad that I can quote the commenteries now....now that's overdoing it....oh wait...

[SilverRider]

Hey there is nothing wrong with that... ...I watch them (actually listen) while I'm working on my scrapbook....it's gotten so bad that I can quote the commenteries now....now that's overdoing it....oh wait...

lol....

I can do the same....quote some line off my head....Davis ones really

[Hex.FTB.enabled]

When you know the SG-1 theme song (with lyrics!) by heart. Or if you've composed your own lyrics to Atlantis's theme song....

[vyroglyph]

When all of your A's have little circles over them.

When you try to "dial" an address whenever you see hieroglyphs

When you find your self doing a belly-flop into pools at every chance, thinking you will glurp right through.

When you put your hands on the steering wheel and think the car will pick up your brainwaves, so you don't have to steer.

[vyroglyph]

And another one:

You think you are reading egyptian whenever you see a word with one or more apostrophes in it.

[Tracker]

...Your license plate reads "STARG8"
You hug people and greet them like lost friends when they recognize said license plate.
You have discussions about the genesis of the Wraith in a grocery store parking lot.
You own all 7 seasons of SG1 on DVD, and count down the days til season 8 and SGA season 1.
You watch episodes with a notebook to write down witty things Jack and McKay say.
SG1 and SGA are the only shows you watch on TV.