A movie version of "Doom"

[Taonas]

Yes... It exists, it will be coming out this year... And it's already done filming. Here's a link http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0419706/

Thoughts about this?

PS: On a side note there are also movie version of "Metroid" and "Spy Hunter" coming out next year, both done by John Woo.

[defina91rvc]

if they are able to cram a ridiculous amount of action / violence / gore this should be a fun movie.

[DownFallAngel]

FIrst off, this movie is going to suck because it has The Rock in the title role. Second of all, it has nothing to do with the original storyline of DOOM(ipening the gates of Hell). The current storyline for this movie is that some type of virus was released turning people into weird creatures and what not. It's wack. The only thing they have in common is the name.

Also, don't get to excited about Metroid, I know they are going to screw that up royally somehow.

[Taonas]

FIrst off, this movie is going to suck because it has The Rock in the title role. Second of all, it has nothing to do with the original storyline of DOOM(ipening the gates of Hell). The current storyline for this movie is that some type of virus was released turning people into weird creatures and what not. It's wack. The only thing they have in common is the name.

Also, don't get to excited about Metroid, I know they are going to screw that up royally somehow.

Believe me, excited is NOT the word I'd use to describe how I feel about this. They are going to ruin it... There are certain things like "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" which were better in their original form.

[in circles]

This looks like Resident Evil in space. They could have at least had Uwe Boll direct it so I could get some laughs out of its suckiness.

[the Fifth Race]

FIrst off, this movie is going to suck because it has The Rock in the title role. Second of all, it has nothing to do with the original storyline of DOOM(ipening the gates of Hell). The current storyline for this movie is that some type of virus was released turning people into weird creatures and what not. It's wack. The only thing they have in common is the name.

Also, don't get to excited about Metroid, I know they are going to screw that up royally somehow.

Suck because the Rock's in it?....NOT!...if anything that will enhance the movie, and it does garauntee that it will have a decent sized budget...It will probably suck becase it looks like it does'nt follow the original story. I'm willing to wait and see before I start judging anything.

[DownFallAngel]

Suck because the Rock's in it?....NOT!...if anything that will enhance the movie, and it does garauntee that it will have a decent sized budget...It will probably suck becase it looks like it does'nt follow the original story. I'm willing to wait and see before I start judging anything.

Give me three good movies the Rock has been in.

[Ouroboros]

Give me three good movies the Rock has been in.

I think he's only been in 4 movies period. That's if you don't could the tiny non speaking parts in mummy 2. Of them 2 were ass, Walking Tall and Scorpion King. Be Cool I haven't seen, but if it sucks it won't have anything to do with him given his minor role, and the Rundown was enjoyable if simplistic.

As for this debacle in the making however it's going to blow and blow hard. It might even suck and blow at the same time, sort of like how a super-massive blackhole can suck in matter and blow out radiation and on that scale to.

Making a movie out of Doom might have been cool had they not completely raped the entire essence of what it was supposed to be about. By taking out all the demons/hell stuff they're essentially making a Batman movie without Batman in it. Doom was never about the main character, he didn't even have a name, it was all about the atmosphere and the hell invasion of the human domain.

Of course this being a modern action movie lets go down the checklist of the things that will inevitably appear to drown yet another of my favorite old skool games in a torrent of "monkey piss" as the Rock might put it.

extra characters that weren't in the original material and aren't needed:They're never going to make this movie just about the Rock running around blasting demons like in the game, making something like that entertaining for 2 hours would actually require some genuinely skilled writing so that's right out. Expect instead to see a bunch of "sidekicks" who dispense lame-ass one liners with about as much style as my busted ass lawn fertilizer dispenser dispenses lawn fertilizer pellets. Other than that they'll jsut be waiting their turn to die.

Of them there will be the mandatory PC quota characters of

-the tough chick
-The token black guy
-possibly another minority character either asian or latino
-optional second not-so-tough chick to really drive the co-ed point home

Then the cookie cutter nu-action movie characters

-the techie
-the big tuff guy
-the smartass
-the genius guy
-the leadership guy
-the hot chick

These characters need not be distinct from each other and sometimes three or more of them will be actually be blended together into a single unwilling actor by a particularly clever hack writer.


Lets move on to our next mandatory ingredient into this movie.

****ty hip-hop/new rock soundtrack that comes in at the stupidest times: Since the studio knows that this movie isn't going to make **** at the box office once word gets out on how much gorilla cock it sucks they're going to tag on as many means of earning secondary profit as they can. This means, you guessed it, they'll round up some of today's not quite A list performers and have them write a bunch of ****ty songs to play in the background while Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and his gaggle of helpy helpers deals with the latest swarm of evil mutants from Mars. The reason for this is clear. Even though they probably know that playing RZA in the background while demons are marching around is ****ing stupid and destroys the potential suspense and/or horror the situation could have conveyed they're hoping you don't. They're also hoping to unload movie soundtrack CDs at 24.99 a pop to anyone too daft or morally shackled to download them for free.

At least one instance of Matrix rip off slo-mo: Ever since the Matrix made a huge mountain of cash every hack writer and directers has been searching to find the secret as to how. Unable to find any one thing most of them have just settled for ripping of as much of the movie as they can without getting sued. Like we'll no doubt see here as well with the mandatory slow down "bullet time" scenes.


black leather: Yep expect to see a whole load of this to. No modern action movie would be what it is if any less than 50,000 cows had to die to cloth the actors.

length=90 minutes The more astute hack producers and directors out there realized a while ago that they could make 3/4 of a movie and still charge people the same amount to watch it as for a real movie. There's a very good chance this movie will be an example of this phenomenon.

wire fu: Many hack directors think this looks just the coolest. Expect to see prodigious amounts of people/creatures flying through the air either after being hit by weapons fire or in relation to the next mandatory ingredient.

flashy martial arts moves that would get you killed in real life: Every modern action movie has to have an entire cast skilled in movie-fu, the movie martial art. Gone are the days of guys like Dirty harry who'd just punch or shoot your ass and be done with it, it's all about flying kicks and wannabe super-ninja bull**** now. Of course the mad fightin' skillz that are used in this movie will only bear the faintest resemblance to real martial arts. This is because as everyone knows circa 1996 real martial arts and real martial artists were deemed less cool by Hollywood than some tard flying 30feet across the room with a bunch of wire discreetly pinned to his frantically flailing appendages. The second rate hip-hop playing in the background while this occurs must play some essential role in the flight process because it is never absent.

glowing gun sights/laser sights: If any type of weapon larger than a pistol appears in the movie it must have one or the other or possibly both of these, no exceptions. Pistols will be considered for installation as well on a case by case basis.

****ty one liners:It's not enough for an action movie to just be an action movie any more it also has to be a comedy. Expect plenty of clunky, obvious, contextually inappropriate and generally unfunny for anyone with an IQ over 75, one liners and stupid situations courtesy your fiendly neighborhood hack writer.

more fx than acting: This goes without saying. In order to sell a movie on the quality of its acting you need (and have to pay) not only good actors but a good director and good writers as well. To sell a movie on FX all you need is a good FX team and a theater full of idiots willing to pay 9.99 for the opportunity to lap up your creative diarrhea, much easier.


So yeah in summation, it's going to pretty much suck I guess.

[jsw]

a relative of mine works for warner bros the company doing this movie. she has told me her bosses are hoping they will be able to make some money off the scifi videogame market. she got to write some of the one liners the rock will be saying in the movie. she tells me it is a movie that I would enjoy. I wonder if the movie will be anything like the videogame.

[defina91rvc]

you think this movie will be bad with the Rock in it? lol, the Rock is such a joke. Obviously you cant take this movie seriously. But if they manage to make every other line the Rock says 'I'm doomed" i will go to see this movie.


I dont know if you can outdo resident evil Apocalypse in action violence, that movie was nonstop.

[jsw]

one of the line they gave the rock was semper fi mother fffffffffer. kind of stupid. of couse my cousin got to write alot of one liners for him and most likely will not get credit.

[The_Werewolf]

There is some kind of unwritten law that states any movie based on a video game has to suck ass. I give examples:
Mortal Kombat
Mortal Kombat: Annihiliation
Double Dragon
Street Fighter
Resident Evil
Resident Evil: Apocalypse (why???)
Super Mario Bros.

That's too many to be a coincidence. Name one game-based movie that wasn't horribly terrible.

[SeaBee]

There is some kind of unwritten law that states any movie based on a video game has to suck ass. I give examples:
Mortal Kombat
Mortal Kombat: Annihiliation
Double Dragon
Street Fighter
Resident Evil
Resident Evil: Apocalypse (why???)
Super Mario Bros.

That's too many to be a coincidence. Name one game-based movie that wasn't horribly terrible.

Sorry, I tried and tried, but I couldn't come up with one.

I can add one to your list, though.
Eks versus Sever, staring Antonio Banderas. A reasonably good game turned into a terrible film.

It works the other way too. How many games based on a film are actually worth the money? It's very rare for a film tie-in game to have more than a couple of hours playing time in it.

[Giantevilhead]

It's some sort of curse, no video game based movie can be good. I just hope they don't turn Fallout into a crappy movie.

[grendelsbayne]

I liked the original Mortal Kombat. It was a b grade mindless action film, to be sure, but it was fun and at least had some people who actually knew how to act, unlike every other video game movie I've seen (especially that horrid sequel).

As for one that didn't suck... I've heard some people compliment Wing Commander, but I've never actually seen it, so I don't know...